Creating Your Own Happiness
Toastmasters Speech Project 3
When people are asked what they want most in their life, a common response is, âI want to be happy.â But what does happiness even mean? Or, more specifically, what does happiness mean to YOU? Is itâŚthe feeling you get when you bite into your absolute favorite dessert? Is itâŚfeeling good (whatever that means)? Is itâŚbeing rich?
It turns out there is an actual scientific definition of happiness, according to scientists at happify.com. They state that happiness is a combination of two things: 1. How satisfied you are with your life, and 2. How good you feel on a day to day basis. Based on this definition, let me take a quick survey. Everyone close your eyes. Raise your hand if you are satisfied with your life. Now raise your hand if you are feeling good today! Â
So it seems (insert proportion here) of you are âhappyâ. For those of you who arenât, or for those of you who lied to me just now, fear not. There is a simple, but nonetheless effort-requiring way of rectifying the situation.
Approximately 50% of how happy we feel is determined by our genes. You might be thinking, âWow, thatâs a lotâ. However, look at it from a different perspective, and youâll find that this is actually great news! It means that 50% of our happiness is up to us! We can create our own happiness! In reality, 40% is determined by our thoughts, actions, and behaviours, and 10% is influenced by our life circumstances, such as monetary wealth and family stability.
What can we do to make that 40% count? We can work on our STAGE, which stands for S - savouring, T - thankfulness, A - aspiration, G - giving, and E - empathy, These 5 skills are very important in the grand old pursuit of happiness.
First up: savouring. This means noticing and taking in the good stuff around you. When you wake up in the morning, take a few seconds to bask in the beautiful sunshine, or enjoy the rain drumming against the pavement. In Manila, those are pretty much your only two options. Whilst eating, chew slowly and really take a moment to relish the texture and flavour of the food. Or perhaps you might prefer to savour the day by writing about it in a journal. It doesnât matter how you choose to savour, the idea is to linger in positive experiences.
Next: thankfulness, or gratitude. This involves appreciating the things people do for us, as well as the things we do for ourselves. Say thank you more often. Think of something someone does for you that you take for granted, and send them a little thank you note. Trust me, youâll feel great.
The A in STAGE stands for aspiration, which entails feeling hopeful and feeling a sense of purpose in life. This oneâs a little harder to explain, but start off by setting yourself some realistic goals, and then really believing that theyâre within reach. Look at the future with optimism, and scientists claim you will increase your happiness.
Now onto G - giving. Iâm sure youâve all heard the saying, âIt is better to give than to receiveâ, or something along those lines. Itâs true! Studies have actually found that we feel more happy when we spend money on others than when we spend on ourselves! Christmas is fast approaching, and itâs the season to be jolly, so Mum, I need a new phone. You will feel happier if you buy me one!
Finally, we have E, which stands for empathy, and denotes the ability to understand others. Having empathy will allow you to feel less aggravated or impatient when things donât go your way, and hence allow you to foster stronger and better relationships with others. Take time to hear people out before reacting unpleasantly or becoming judgmental. According to science, you will reap the benefits - which are greater compassion and happiness.
Letâs recap. Whatâs the recipe for creating your own happiness? A spoonful of savoring, a chunk of thankfulness, a dollop of aspiration, a bunch of giving, and last but not least, a tub full of empathy. Fellow toastmasters, the next time someone tells you they want to be happy, simply tell them to get on STAGE!
