yeah, because that’s your name. obviously. which is weird because i’m older than you. does this mean i’m just not memorable ? i’m really fucking hurt right now, cyborg. i want a real ashley too. maybe she could teach me how to do makeup and i can show kylie what’s what. validation is the BEST feeling in the world, are you kidding me ? i’m telling you, this kid has got taste. she’s going to grow up and be… i don’t fucking know, president or some shit. i’ve always wanted to be billy ray. ever since i was nine years old. so, really, this is a dream come true for me. we can create our own strain and call it the cyborg.
i have no choice other than just accepting this, huh ? fine. by a year, sir, that’s nothing. shut up, anything involving me is memorable n’ we were. for sure. that would be the one thing i never knew i needed, man. just do yourself a favor n’ keep her AWAY from the news. from myself, yeah, other people is ... a rewarding thing, but it can’t be the only thing. can she please ? instill all the tools in her, posey, cause the competition we have right now aren’t doing it. i’ve always wondered what it was like being my mom, so, uh, this is fucking happening. i don’t know if my mind is baked to its core or not, but ─── i actually dig the name.
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“ i feel like animals are a pretty solid thing t’ like, be obsessed with. regardless of who or the type of person you are. reckon any film that has t’ do with animals is one i always avoid because it’s got me all kinds of fucked up. grow pizza ? i’m down. as long as there isn’t pineapple on it, i’m great. ”
“ oh, hands down. no questions asked. they are the least problematic topic to stan, n’ quite honestly, just one could better your entire life. there isn’t many things i hate in life, but any film that portrays the animal abuse is instantly fucked. you’re a pineapple hater, too ? agreed. honestly, they’re on something way harder than weed to make that choice. it’s obvious. ”
well, well, well. if it isn’t myron cyborg. in the flesh ! shit, i’m only calling you that because your black mirror episode fucked me up. i’ve got a lot of questions, but we can talk about that over a blunt and some tacos. deal ? also, your ep is fucking dope. not that you didn’t already know that. stormi even jams to it. then again, she gets the fuck down to row your boat, so… i’m not sure how much of a compliment it really is. but it was meant as one. why can’t we just grow weed ? oh my god, miley, we’re growing weed.
almost two decades ago n’ you’re still on that ? insane. let me have your mind cause mine, uh, clearly can’t remember shit that well. anyway, i’m happy that you let ashley too into your life. everything you mentioned just now can get you into mine, so it’s a deal. thanks, man. i can never hear that too many times, i think. validation can be good sometimes. i mean, my career can pretty much end now that the stormi bops. intentional or not, posey, it still happened. that was my first option, obviously, but that would really make us my parents. do you really want to end up like ‘em ? smoking together n’ playing with birds ? your call.
obsession is a BIT of an understatement. ‘ miley and her dead petz ’ ? yeah, we remember her. it’s practically burned into my fucking brain. i actually was considering taking my niece to see it and now that it has the miley cyrus stamp of approval… it must be done. are we the same person ? i’ve been talking about getting a farm myself. the dream is very much still alive and happening. see, you lost me at growing pizza. try again next time, cyrus.
just a bit, yeah, like the teeniest, tiniest amount possible. don’t OUT me like this, nick, you know too much. that was one hell of a team though, i’ll tell you that. honestly, i had my doubts n’ shit, but after this ? i could probably watch it, like, ten times ... in a row. it’s that good. either that, or i officially have benjamin button disease. i, honestly, wouldn’t even be surprised if there was some partial truth to that. great minds think alike, jonas. duh. don’t shame my pizza like this, asshole. what’s your side of the grass lookin’ like then, huh ? huh punk ?
if the world should know one thing about me then let it be my obsession with animals. you know it’s real when ‘ the secret life of pets two ’ has me experiencing EVERY emotion possible. i laughed, cried more times than i wanna admit, n’ definitely stuffed way too many skittles in my mouth than i should’ve. it was probably a mistake dropping music at this time, considering my needs for a cute ass farm somewhere private are coming on super strong. imagine this ─── stay with me here ... we grow pizza. yeah, you’re fucking welcome !
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𝘼𝘾𝘾𝙀𝙎𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙏𝙈𝙕 𝘿𝘼𝙏𝘼𝘽𝘼𝙎𝙀… miley cyrus is a twenty six year old musician/actress. in past interviews she/her has been described as +authentic &. +poised, as well as -risqué &. -crass. their insta is full of shots of concerts, street style, family. it’s always exciting to see what the nonbinary is up to next ! could her secret be our next headline ?
ayyyyyy ! it’s everyone’s favorite trash bag n i’m here with another babe, who i adore sm ? i always say that i’m going to keep these sweet / to the point n never do .... so here’s to me being a continuous liar bc i’m the worst :~) :~)
headcanons:
must have more than two rings on each finger. obsessed with chains. ends every night with a blunt before bed. drops a curse word in almost every sentence. turns into a completely different person once onstage. best way to earn her heart is through any size bottle of tequila. feels the most confident whenever she’s at the studio. a certified vegan. problematic as hell sometimes .... with good reason. will tear up for a good couple of minutes before leaving her horses behind. jumps at any and every opportunity to talk about how much she adores her animals. admires human touch. loves a good clapback on her instagram comments. inserts every bit of herself into every projects she decides to hop into. compares herself to a sponge, always ready to learn. most inspiration for her comes from past / current experiences. appreciates the element of surprise. the obsession with sticking out her tongue has definitely taken a couple of notches down. never backs down from controversy. never finds others as competition. incredibly, incredibly humble. hates being scared. always reminds self to be the baddest bitch possible.
plots:
one - fuck yES ! hi take all my money ! i’m a sucker for angsty plots bc they 10/10 always make me wanna scream n cry tbh ?
two - we love n stan a really cute overly protective friendship , so pls let’s be bffs n constantly cry over each other’s safety thanks ... 10/10 will slap someone for u
three - i don’t usually cry when i’m looking for plots ( i totally didn’t ... maybe just a little ) but i thought this one was suPER duper cute :/ don’t u think :/ u totally think :/
four - there’s nothing that floats my boat more than a good breakup ? plus think abt all the flashbacks / pain that we can cause together w this ! brings tEARS to my eyes
five - hi remember when i said i love angsty shit ? this is prolly at the top of the list cause it’s simple but ? a hateship is literally evERYTHING i need right now ! thx !
six - bitch ! yes ! a million times over ! i mean, this was practically written for miley tbh. it makes the moST sense so hop on this one if u know that’s best for u ;)
seven - ‘ frienemies with benefits ’ i’m actually scREAMING n bouncing off the walls rn ? it could be suPER DUPER cute bc she could hate u ? or vice versa ? n just ? wanna fuck u at the same time ahgjjkgj ! that’s life !
+ also wanted : [ best friends, exes, exes to lovers, friends to lovers, lovers to enemies, acquaintances. platonic friendships. friends with benefits, slow-burn relationship, forbidden love, secret relationship. ]
