( 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋 ) 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍

yeah, i get it. it’s enough to drive ya crazy. im definitely planning some kind of trip when all of this bullshit is over. i don’t know to where yet, but just away. what have you been reading? anything you’d recommend? same, really. binging on netflix too of course.

you n’ everyone else, babes. i swear like, m’just ready t’ travel n’ actually appreciate shows n’ festivals n’ shit once again. it’d just be nice t’ like ENJOY LIFE again. cause fuck this shit is just utter misery. 

SHAWN: i mean, i don't think ur overthinking. sounds like ur just processing ur feelings. i just recently learned about the benefits of dealing with my feelings instead of avoiding them. lowkey not that great lmao. like me :) except i'm not in la anymore. any affection? /u/? come on.

hmmm that could possibly be true, but i still do what i want. i am, i am, i am. i’m like a giant compared to you. you’re all i’ve got so give me that. you are mate, it’s just a fact. it’s why you’ve got such a big personality, to make up for what you lack in height. i’m always confused, so nothing new there. and i love you too, lewis. hey now. i love you mostest. maybe talking about it could help? sometimes, very occasionally i can be a good listener.

i guess i have no choice but t’ accept such a statement. i guess i’ll take a big personality over the whole height ordeal. i think i’m just over thinking a lot of shit with my relationships with people cause m’just so used t’ like . . . bein’ hurt n’ shit so it’s a lot of me essentially just . . . gettin’ past me emotions n’ all that. 

@zayn: i'm not saying i don't wanna bother. but fuck lou, idk. i do think it's worth trying, cos u were the BEST friend i ever had. my brother. look, i'm willing to try and make things right again. as long as u're sure u want to.

i think my brain can be a strange place to be no matter what the situation, suppose having more time to think has pointed that out! sounds like you’ll need to make a trip to the city of angels when you’re able. i hear that. its torturous. what are you doing to keep yourself occupied?

solid point t’ be fair. i guess in retrospect i’m kinda in the same mindset with all of this relative alone time i’ve been gettin’ y’know ? yeah, i think i’ll probably spend a little bit of time in LA when m’finally able t’ fuckin’ travel and all that sort of thing. i’ve been reading a lot, listening to a lot of different music n’ all. just kinda vibin’ really. what about you ?

this is the kind of weird shit that buzzes around in my brain a majority of the time, if i’m honest. completely random thoughts and situations, figured i may as well share em and at least keep myself entertained. im sure you could get some if you wanted to! not a doubt in my mind. but exactly, there’s always a way around it. 

honestly, babe. after all this whole stayin’ inside n’ essentially only really havin’ the company of yourself n’ maybe your family i can see why the weird shit buzzin’ in your brain is like . . . understandable. that might just be me sayin’ so though. eh, it’s not lookin’ likely with everyone bein’ fuckin’ in los angeles like . . . i swear, all of this is just drivin’ me crazy anymore.

@zayn: idk if u can trust me tho Lou. Tbh I don’t even trust myself. That’s the issue innit? I fucking love being ur friend and I love u Lou. I honestly do. U were the only person I felt truly Comfortable with for a long time