boy in love

a person trying to radicalize you will always seem nice, approachable, and non-confrontational (at first). maybe you just followed their blog bc they like the same books as you, but then they start posting subtly terf-y ideology? but they seemed like such a nice person before so maybe it’s not what it seems? or maybe they’ll comment on a post that makes a trans person look out of control and the terf seem calm, collected, and in the right.

know the history of how people come to be radicalized so you can id dog whistles. for terfs, most of it comes from a) a woman is traumatized by a man so b) she develops an intense distrust of all men so c) she anchors her comfort in women are good and men are bad which leads to d) strict enforcement of gender roles in her mind and e) intense hatred for anything that steps out of that comfortable bubble she has created for herself. a lot of older terfs will find a young girl who fits part a and try to push her along to b, c, d, and e. of course, it can be more complicated than that, but it’s good to recognize how this kind of radicalization can apply to you.

if something makes you uncomfortable, walk away. block them, unfollow them, at the slightest thought of ‘this doesn’t seem right’ or ‘i don’t know if this is good’ - cut them out. it doesn’t matter if you’re mutuals or have been messaging and seem like ‘friends’, just take care of yourself first. additionally, don’t be afraid to not know something! if someone asks ‘how do you feel about ________’ or ‘don’t you think _____’, it’s far better to say ‘i’m not sure’ than jump to a conclusion on a topic you don’t understand fully. don’t be afraid to recognize a past opinion or view you had was wrong, don’t go looking to others for brownie points.