Aiming to be the fattest of fats

I need someone to tie me down and shove a funnel down my throat and force feed me until I can't move. Until I am completely dependant.

Got the flu but not an appetite? Take it from me that egg drop soup is one of the best things you can eat. Highly customizable because of its (usually) plain base, it's easy on the stomach and has nutrient potential to help get over what kind of ick ails you. Just uh....do yourself a favor and don't order it from the shady Chinese place from downtown.

Man, I checked my weight for the first time in a few months and it turns out that I lost weight. I'm down to 247 and it makes me sad....

God damn if I'm not starving tonight. Too bad no one wants a pig like me.

Don't forget to adopt a hog. we grow at our best when there is someone to shove food in our mouths.

Totally not me trying to be someone's blue ribbon hog. Come on, feed me to death already.

This is not a drill; Halloween candy will be on sale soon! All fatties required to buy and consume at minimum two bags!