you are (not) alone

She pulled his arm from behind her over her shoulder, leaving his hand to hover above her breast. After what they had just done it was a wonder he couldn't just let his hand fall, as much as he wanted to caress her soft skin, he was still far to sharp and filthy to touch her so casually, even worse, as much as he wanted it, he could not trust himself if she offered another bout of love making, not after the last.

"I have to tell-" His thought was cut off at the pass as she wrapped the braid around his wrist, then unwrapped it and tying off her measurement with a loose thread. Hawke sat up and reached over to her nightstand, her bareback stretched over the edge of the bed. With his eyes, Fenris traced her spine down to that perfect ass and back up over wonderful hips to her defined shoulder. Maker, she made a pervert out of him.

"What are you doing?" Fenris asked before thinking.

Cecilia turned her head and looked at him, obviously surprised, "I thought you were asleep." he said with a smile. With a snip and klunk she rolled back to where she had been laying, back in his arms.

"I'm going to do something horribly Fereldan." She moved his arm back over her shoulder, his hand back over her chest ever so limply as she wraps the braid around his wrist again, and deftly weaves the hair back into each other. Fenris had see her hands work so much over the years but it never stopped to amaze him just how quickly she can do so much. When she was done she looped a finger into the new bracelet and gave it a tug in which it gave no give. Then which Fenris heard her satisfied "hm" noise that he came to revel in over the course of their reading lessons. But then she did something wholy unexpected, taking his hand in both hers, and kissed it gently, before leaning back to wedge her self into his pit.

Fenris sat in shock for moment, absolutely baffled by her capacity to casually treat him with gentle affection. No one had ever just, kissed his had, with no lustful or possessive undertone. Even amongst the giddy passion of their love making before, she had treated him, kindly? it was the wrong word but the feeling baffled him. perhaps that was what brought forth such memories? He had to tell her.

"No one has ever kissed my hand before." He spoke softly.

"I'm not in the habit of it, suppose I like you though." She replied, he could feel her smile as she pressed her face into his bicep.

She intends to just sleep?

"And weaving your hair into jewelry?" Fenris lifted his tone, hoping she read his curiosity.

"It's my favor, Sir Fenris."

The air left him as he let him chuckle slightly. That was there play, a little joke between them since she had moved to Hightown. She'd introduced him as "Sir Fenris working for the house of Amell" to so many strangers over time, but that Cecilia, buying her own reality with her charisma. He finally, tightened his grip on her and squeezed as he lent in close to her ear,

"I appreciate it milady, however I'm concerned about fraying, I'm a working knight after all." He said softly. There was a moment she didn't move, he could tell she was thinking, until she reached over the edge of the bed again and pulled up her house coat, pulled the sash that tied the waist and throw the rest of the coat back to the floor. Again, with great deftness, she folded, tied and tucked the red sash around his wrist, covering her woven bracelet.

Fenris felt himself leave his body, he had pulled that sash just hours ago to loosen her robe. It was such a bold declaration with such little interpretation and Hawke just, gave it to him.

When she was done she turned to look at him, surely with the intention to kiss him but stopped just short. worried she asked "Are you alright? I mean-"

Fenris watched Hawke suddenly shrivel along with his heart. He loved it, how bold she was, how gentle she was, and the attention she gave him. This gift- gifts? He truly couldn't comprehend them but he knew one thing, Cecelia had nothing wrong and right now she she thought she did.

"Sorry, I-" Fenris pushed out, the words falling short as Hawke's eyes start to dart around, staving off tears.

"Shit, sorry Fen, I just, this isn't an owner bullshit, I just I wanted- You can take it off." Her face was in her hands by the end of it.

"Cecilia, stop,. I'm not taking it off." with both her hands in his he pulled them from her face and searched for those big golden eyes he very much adored. Fasta vas, she make the oddest things that much harder. "Thank you."

He watched the tension leave her. He hated that that he caused it, and he hated even more what he had to tell her. But before he could say anything else she had her back on his chest, and wedged herself back into his armpit and laced her fingers with his. Fenris stared at the fabric on his wrist and the gold of her hair.