just as a water lily

“You are a Christian. Part of humanity as well. You must be.” His voice drops to a tease. Past experience has taught him better than to fuel his lovers’ religious turmoil. “Unless you mean to imply you alone are made apart from God.”

John smirks. “Would you be surprised?”

Alexander smirks back. Not at all. “Of course.”

“Lucky for you then.” A finger teases the line down the center of his chest, twirling. “You love a very special man.”

“Far from all of humanity's flaws. Another being entirely. How blessed am I!” John kisses his Adams apple, hiding his smile. Alexander kisses the crown of his head, the tuffs of his hair. “I wouldn’t be a good Christian, believing in you.”

A breath huffs against his neck. “Since when did you care about being a good christian?”

Alexander's smile falters. He looks to the room, sees the sheets in disarray, the clothes strewn about the floor and feels the uncomfortable tackiness between his thighs. There is a crushing feeling on his chest that is not Laurens.

“My Eliza…” He starts, flicking his eyes down to John. John only stares at a nearby wall. The pleasant finger twirls cease. Alexander swallows “She is a good girl. A Christian.”

John stares, hollow.

“I’m sure.” 

Alexander sighs. “John…”

“I’ve hardly said anything.”

“You don’t have to.” Alex so hated these talks. The way John would look at him—is looking at him—as though he has betrayed something sacred. He wants to scoff. As if Laurens was so guiltless. “You must think me stupid if you think I don’t—”

“So you know my thoughts now?” John shoved himself away from his grasp and he nods. “Good. Very good, in fact. Then I don’t have to tell you that I think she and her entire family are far from Christian. That I think she will be your very corruption. That I hate her.”

Alex wants to laugh. “She will be my corruption? Do you hear yourself? Have the days spent by your lonesome hindered your ability to think? She will be my corruption?”

“Her and her family, yes!”

“They have been nothing but accommodating. Nothing but good people who would accept me as one of their own!” Alexander shakes his head and he glares at his lover. “Did you not tell me once? That I deserved a family? A wife? Why must you hate the one I’ve chosen?”

John opens his mouth and shuts it. He looks off to the side and physically bites his tongue.

“No, no stop with that!” They were so close. Alex takes him by the shoulder and forces their eyes together. “I hate that. I hate this. You used to divulge to me your every thought. In something so important as this, why are you silent?”

John looks at him. He whispers, and his eyes hold a special kind of pain. “You marry into a family of…” He trails off. Alex has never seen him so defeated. It unnerves him. John shakes his head. “Did you not think of our plans? Even a little?”

It is Alexander’s turn to look away. Though instead of anger, he feels only shame. He chokes out, unsteady. “They are good people.”

“Of course. They are Christians.” He says, mocking.

He can’t endure this much longer. “John—”

Alexanders' back hits the bed. John's weight pins him to the mattress.

His lover glowers down at him. It feels like penance.

A hand strokes him swiftly, no doubt relishing the ways he can play with his body like a maestro on ivory keys. Hamilton shudders. He hardly notices John’s other hand reaching behind for the vial of oil. He certainly notices two fingers slick themselves. He is at attention seeing Laurens reach behind to prepare himself.

Alexander has never been more grateful to the Baron.

John breathes harshly. “Would your Eliza ever do this?”

He cringes. The mention of Eliza is unnecessary, even cruel. 

“Of course not.”

“No…” John says, almost in relief. He positions himself carefully as powerful thighs slowly lower him closer to Alex’s aching cock. Alexander catches himself on the rim. Anticipation bleeds. 

John pushes down all of a sudden. They both groan in unison as heat consumes them. Laurens laughs.