This is why I can never be Jewish
Some correspondence between a cappella groups, one Canadian, one American, with official names redacted, although surely not even mildly google-proof. Mainly for my own records, but also because I am curious about your opinion.
Hello [redacted: their group],
It was really nice to meet you on Tuesday night here in Toronto. I'm one of the [redacted: my group], the girl with the rainbow-coloured hair. It is so nice to encounter such top-tier Jewish talent in our humble city, and it was truly a pleasure to share the stage with you. Those chords in Am Yisrael Chai never sounded so good.
One thing, though, has been weighing heavily on my mind for the past few days, and after mulling it over with friends and family, I feel it behooves me to speak up about it.
The Canadian attitude toward multiculturalism is notably different from America's, so perhaps I am raising an issue that you would never encounter in your home country. Indeed, I may be the only person on planet Earth in a position to have my feelings hurt by this subject. On the other hand, perhaps I am not, and perhaps you are alienating more people than you know. In that case, it is my responsibility to speak up, as someone who has the opportunity and the personal connection to do so.
Your bit on "Jew Haiku" has some pretty funny jokes in it—the comedy in your set overall is pretty top-notch—but I would strongly urge you to reconsider the presentation.
The history of the piece of music you chose to frame this comedy bit is, as perhaps you are already aware, known as the 'Oriental riff', and it has a brief but interesting article on Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oriental_riff). It is not a Japanese riff, nor even an east Asian piece of music of any kind, but indeed a piece of music written by Americans in the mid-19th century as a sort of reductive parody of 'exotic' 'Oriental' culture as part of a musical theatre show about Aladdin.
To add insult to injury, the "Oriental riff" is commonly associated with Chinese culture. Haiku is a consummately Japanese art form. The riff itself is emblematic of the reductivist orientalism inherent in the conflation of these cultures when you pair them together in your act.
On a more personal level, it is a piece of music that was chanted by little Jewish boys and girls in the early 1990's to make fun of a young Elana [redacted]. I was the only even remotely non-white person at my Jewish private day school. This behaviour was often accompanied by pulling up their eyes at the corners, or, indeed, doing the fist-together bow that you did on stage on Tuesday night after you performed this song. My entire life I have been questioned for my legitimacy as a Jew based on my appearance. I have been interrogated with questions like, "but what ARE you?" that none of my other Jewish friends have ever had to endure. I am a stronger person having had these experiences, but my relationship to the Jewish community has perhaps, realistically, been damaged beyond repair.
My mother is a Japanese convert. I was born Jewish. I was born as Jewish as anybody else is—arguably, more Jewish than my husband, also a member of the [redacted] whose father never converted to Judaism. The difference is that my husband's father was white, so his identity is not complicated—even if it should be. I did not choose to be Jewish, and I did not choose my mother's genes. This is the reality of my life, and yet it seems to beg explanation by Jews all of the damn time. I have had to live with such self-consciousness, and prove my pedigree to even be permitted access in every encounter with the Jewish community, while white-looking Jews just get to pass without a second thought. I won't waste your time with the countless small hurts and little painful stories, but they are there. I do not have the privilege of holding the belief that Jews are immune to being racist thanks to our history of persecution. I have had a lifetime of proof to the contrary.
After attending Jewish private school from kindergarten to high school, I fled from the Jewish community as soon as I entered university. It is only through a cappella that I have found my way back to the community, and it has still been a hard and thankless road. Synagogue members still look at me after a performance and ask, "well, who in the group is *really* Jewish?" It is not the white people who cause them to question.
If it weren't for a cappella, I would have abandoned the Jewish community at age 18 and never looked back.
When you chose to perform that song, when you built that chart, I know you didn't think you would hurt anyone by it. But that itself is the hurt: you didn't think anyone who could possibly take it personally, would ever attend one of your shows. You assumed that my mother and I couldn't possibly exist. That's the hurt, right there.
Watching you perform that song on Tuesday night was like life telling me, "even tonight, when you should be ascendant, performing for 500 people who paid a lot of money to see you sing in Hebrew, there are Jews for whom your mother's culture will always be a caricature, a punchline. People who look like you will always be aliens, and it's always okay to make jokes about aliens."
I hope you'll consider making some changes so that no one has to feel that way during your shows.
Finally, for whatever it's worth, the other members of the [redacted: my group] also cringed HARD during that song. They may not have the same personal connection and old scars to make them upset. Maybe it's just by virtue of knowing me. But we were all very uncomfortable, together. Other friends I've talked to, Jewish friends, non-Jewish friends of Japanese heritage, all urged me to come forward and tell you how we all feel.
My parents were in the audience too, of course; my father was quite upset. My mother, bless her, just let it roll off her back—because that is Japanese culture.
Japanese culture has many virtues and a lot of beautiful music. I'd urge you to investigate it, with the respect it deserves.
I'm happy to discuss this further if you'd like.
Sincerely,
Elana [redacted]
Hi Ilana [sic],
Appreciate you sharing your very detailed thoughts and experiences, and we'll absolutely reflect on them. Needless to say, we're very sorry to hear that this made you feel that way, and apologize for any pain inflicted upon you or anyone important to you.
Please do not, however, assume what goes through our minds, let alone who we think "can or cannot exist", or care about hurting. The extrapolations of thought you've made are a long way from where our heads are at or ever have been.
We certainly know, acknowledge and appreciate that Jews of mixed cultural backgrounds exist -- because we ARE Jews of mixed cultural backgrounds. Asian backgrounds, in fact. One of our members is the son of a European Jewish mother and Japanese Jewish father. Another singer who was part of our rotation of regulars for many years was the son of a Chinese mother and Irish father (both non-Jewish). Both of them come from a mix of Asian and Jewish or other backgrounds, and we love them all the more for it. Both of them are extremely cultured and quite well acquainted with all the sources that comprise their heritage, including the respective Asian parts. We approached both of them privately about this bit as soon as they began performing with us, and volunteered to stop performing it altogether if they felt uncomfortable before the conversation even started. They both dismissed the idea out of hand and participate enthusiastically. A vocal coach and integral member of our production team has a Chinese mother and Jewish father; she's seen our shows and is also a fan. You are the first person we know of, of any ethnicity, to voice these concerns in close to a decade of this bit being part of our set. (Nor have the Scottish Jews we've met -- and we've met some! -- had a problem with us holding our noses and performing the most stereotypical bagpipe song possible, nor have the black Jews we've met voiced concern over cultural appropriation of hip-hop music or parodies of same.)
This is not to belittle, dismiss or invalidate your reaction, your pain or your offense. Our philosophy of choosing to laugh at our differences as a way of embracing them is no more right or wrong than your propensity to be put off by that same philosophy. But it is to demonstrate that what caused it is not on our part a reckless disregard for anyone's feelings, a dismissal of "other" cultures or a lack of respect for multiculturalism. And it's very important to me that that's clear.
I can't pretend to know what "the Canadian attitude toward multiculturalism" is, but I truly hope that your assessment that it's "notably different from America's" is not based on what you see in the media and hear spewed out of the mouth of the current occupant of the White House. Yes, unfortunately, there are people in America that feel that way and aren't quiet about it. We certainly don't count ourselves among them, and I'm glad, though unsurprised, to know that you don't either.
Shabbat shalom,
[redacted]
Hi [redacted],
Thanks so much for your speedy reply. I’m very glad to hear that you continue to do your due diligence with that song and exercise as much sensitivity as you can. The difference between Canadian and American attitudes on multiculturalism can perhaps be encapsulated in our difference on this very issue: a readiness to joke and laugh about things that are considered more sensitive on one side or another of the border. Our two countries are more different than they appear, and this has been true for far longer than the current presidential term! We could go on and on about the interesting nuanced differences between our cultures, and I honestly didn't have in mind any of the awful caricatures that have appeared on television lately. I apologize for any language that may have felt accusatory in any way. The only assumption about you that I ever meant to express was that I knew you hadn't done anything intentionally hurtful and that there was no malice in your hearts; all the rest of my message was only meant to convey my own personal feelings.
Consider this matter put to bed. My only point of reflection is perhaps the danger of tokenism or the self-fulfilling prophecy of finding people who agree with you. It's not hard to find one or two examples of people who share your opinion; it's the "my one [gay/black/Jewish/whatever] friend" conundrum. Is their opinion supposed to represent everyone's opinion, or is it some sort of permanent stamp of approval or a guarantee of safety? Is it better to err on the side of caution to avoid hurting people, or continue forward with these individuals' approval on a flagpole? Perhaps Canadians and Americans simply differ on this mentality. And on the flip side: what are the odds that someone who has a problem with it would voice their opinion, vs. fade from your life/keep their mouth shut/choose not to audition for your group/whatever? Is it possible that you have a degree of selection bias since, naturally, only people who are comfortable with what you do would remain in your inner circle? I don't know the answer to these questions, and, truly, I believe that you are doing the best you can, following your moral compass, and being the best people you can be. I won't underestimate the cultural differences between Canada and America on this and many other issues. The construction of identity in America is just fundamentally different than it is here, in Toronto especially, and things pass as absolutely normal in one country that give the other country serious pause. I just felt it was my duty to speak up, because I recognize that it is very hard to speak up. (Yes, even—maybe especially??—when confronted point-blank with the question, "do you find this offensive?"...... doubly so when by your potential employers/bandmates??? And perhaps infinitely more so as an audience member, when it takes literally zero effort, in comparison, to just shrug and never think about you again. I don't mean to question the authenticity of the opinions you solicited, only that it's necessary to acknowledge that it is extraordinarily easy to get a false negative if you rely on this type of informal survey to assess cultural sensitivity. People rarely have anything to gain by openly starting conflict on this sort of thing, and much to lose.)
Basically, it does not surprise me that I am the first to raise this issue with you. It is entirely up to you what you choose to do with this information. Dismiss it as a fluke? Totally valid. I may well be. But neither you nor I will know if there are others who are also hurt and are just not saying anything.
For what it's worth, my mother, who I said let the whole thing 'roll off her back' and kept telling me how unaffected she was by the song, read my email to you and it brought her to tears twice. People are complicated, emotions are complicated, identity is complicated.
I'm happy to continue this discussion if you so choose, but knowing that you investigated people's feelings over the lifetime of this song tells me all I really need to know: that you care, and you're not just accidentally hurting people. That's wonderful. For my part, I'm quite resolved on the matter. I hope, at least, that my messages were an interesting read and perhaps brought some new perspectives to the table. That's all I can ask for.
Respectfully,
Elana (with an E at the beginning)
There is something of a veiled barb in that last paragraph from me. They aren’t just accidentally hurting people’s feelings, no; they are now on purpose hurting people’s feelings. Do they really value their right to be offensive, to make (frankly) dumb jokes when it suits their whim, more highly than the feelings of real human beings who have the courage and took the time and effort and heartache to step forward?
Maybe the difference between Canadians and Americans is that when we hear that we’re doing something that is hurting someone, Canadians say, “oh, sorry about that, I’ll stop,” and Americans start shrieking and grabbing their testicles and howling about “BUT MAH FREEDOM!!!!!~~~~!!!!”
I’m sorry, did that hurt your feelings? Was that a caricature of your people?
I’ll reflect on that. I’m very sorry to hear that this made you feel that way, and apologize for any pain inflicted upon you or anyone important to you. My philosophy of choosing to laugh at our differences as a way of embracing them is no more right or wrong than your propensity to be put off by that same philosophy.
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
discoholicmusic
jbbartram-illu
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
izzy806
dededos
