Midnight 🌙

I think - in my case - the most frustrating aspect of depression is that you have it despite other stuff happening in your life.

When something shitty is happening (like losing someone or being sick etc) it’s easy to explain why you feel bad. Depression is “justified”.

But you’re not stop being depressed just because in this moment there is nothing traumatic going on in your life. You can have loving partner and have depression. You can do things you love and have depression. You can be more or less healthy (your body) AND feel like shit because of depression.

And this is so frustrating. Because deep inside you believe like you shouldn’t feel like that. You should cherish your partner, your hobbies, your health. But when depression clouds your judgment, you just don’t know how to. For me depression is like… covering your windows with drapes. It physically stops you from seeing the outside world, the sunlight, clear sky. When it’s clouded or dark outside anyway, the difference is not as dramatic. But when you know that there is sunlight outside, and you’re missing on it, it makes you feel 10 times worse.

I just want to feel better, but the more I’m trying, the more I’m pushing it, the worse I actually feel. And it makes me so tired. I’m very tired, like to my core, of trying to feel better. But the perspective of losing another days/weeks/months to depression again is even more tiring.

That’s why I am keeping myself alive every day, and keep trying everyday, even when I don’t see clearly the point.

It was challenging but also very satisfying and even relaxing to write something like that. It couldn’t be more different than “Sedated” but it’s still my work so I believe you can still find some recurring themes typical for me here. Also it’s a fluff but - as mentioned before - I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t add some bitterness to all that sweetness 🌻🪻

Thank you @sonadowexch for organising the whole thing, you are the best admins and thank you for giving your time to use and preparing such amazing event 💙🖤

The story is fully published now and you can find it under the link below 🌈

I’m just genuinely so happy to have Sonic in my life. It’s so weird cause 1 and half year ago Sonic was just one of my repressed childhood memories- but I can’t express how much it meant for my 6-years old self. Sonic was one of many things I needed to left behind while being forced to grow up to soon. Now, as I reconnected with him, I’m closer than ever to than 6-years old person. I find so much in him, he gives me joy, gives me peace, gives me the way to process my darkest feelings.

I never created as much in my life before. I didn’t write anything for years. I left behind so many hobbies like gaming or learning Japanese or drawing - and I came back to all of these, because of Sonic. Not to mention all of the beautiful people I got to know because of being a part of this fandom.

I know for most of us Sonic is way more than a hobby. Despite all of the franchises (or Sega’s) problems, I deeply love Sonic - all of his versions - and the freedom he represents.

I especially like reading it when I'm out with fam and am by myself with nothing to do. Haha TvT (Or when I'm down)

Anyways. Here is fan art. I'm still just coming back into Sonic so I'm too shy and worried to openly post this and tag ya bcuz I worry about being judged.

I hope it's ok to draw the dark scenes too. Did my best to visualize Chapter 6 and put it into drawing.

Feel free to ignore this if ya wanna. I'm sorry if I sound dumb and too gushy about the fic. aaaa

Like I said before this is so beautiful and amazing thank you so much for your taking your time to create this!! 🥺🥰❤️ also for reading and then re-reading my fic! I’m glad you like it and again please always stay safe while reading ❤️‍🩹

I posted a little something from “Sedated” au.

Not a proper continuation, just a one shot I wrote through my depressive episode, trying to let go of some difficult feelings and turn my pain into art.

I’d say it’s more suggestive than Sedated was so mind the tag and remember it’s mature rating for a reason ‼️

tw: hypnotism, non-con, PTSD

Link below~

(The essay under)

So, not to brag or something but I’m super busy lately (when I’m not too depressed to do so) writing a collab with this other super cool writer/artist. I’m having so much fun. I was kinda stuck with my writing lately but this really helped me get in my creative mood. Also I almost forgot how much fun I have from writing with someone~ didn’t do it for ages. (Also it’s gonna be NSFW😈)

I’m also still brainstorming plot for my Sonadow exchange. I always work the best closer to the deadline so I’m not super worry with passing time, as I have a decent idea to execute. It’s gonna be fluff so something you didn’t see yet from me~

Aaaaand I’m still trying to start working more evenly on Gladiator AU.

I think some kind of work schedule would do fine in my case. It’s a lot of writing ahead of me but, lately I feel like I need some kind of goal, structure and routine to keep my mind focused and my mental health in tact. I also need to move more again lol (unfortunately doing some sports really does help!)

Which is, highly possible, not true.

No freaking way I created this account on April 1st