Middle Aged and Out of Touch

I'm a little rusty on my Biblical curses, but isn't pestilence right up there with plague? Four Horsemen stuff?

Boston Common woke up this morning to a scene that no city planner, historian or fountain maintenance worker could ever have prepared for.

The famous Brewer Fountain had been transformed overnight into a giant mountain of foam, after Scotland fans reportedly introduced the historic landmark to several bottles of Fairy Liquid.

The tradition of adding washing-up liquid to fountains has followed Scotland fans for years, usually appearing whenever there is a major match, a large public square, and one person brave enough to say, “Surely no.”

Brewer Fountain now joins an elite club of water features that have accidentally become part of Scottish football folklore.

One fan, standing proudly beside the foam, explained:

“You can’t put a big fountain in the middle of a city, invite Scotland fans over, and expect us to just walk past it like normal adults.”

Another added:

“It’s not vandalism. It’s art”

Boston residents were seen taking photos, asking questions, and slowly realising they had underestimated how much emotional damage 28 years away from the World Cup can do to a nation.

Local shops have already reported several customers asking where the Fairy Liquid is, only to be offered American dish soap and respond with visible disappointment.

At the time of writing, Brewer Fountain remains foamy and arguably more Scottish than it was yesterday.