â too many questions â
the background isnât that necessary. he talks a lot; people complain about it all the time. whatever. âso i guess my question for you is, what did it feel like when you turned into a demon, and what do you think made you keep some of your humanity?â
tw: mention of death in the past, thoughts of violence
Believe it or not, Cheng did know quite a few things about agent Remy. Humans were social creatures and naturally, they conversed. While Cheng was certainly no longer human, he still operated as one and thus found himself...part of the grapevine. Now, Cheng must assert that he was no gossip! Just...news sometimes found him and he couldnât help but actually wanting to keep listening to the information he was offered.Â
âI am really sorry about what happened to your dad.â No doubt something the baby agent already heard a million times, but Cheng still felt the need to say it. âAs for what I felt when I turned into a demon...â He reached into the past, trying to search his memory bank for his exact feelings. âItâs hard to pinpoint.âÂ
He had always been a calm guy who handled all unexpected farm occurrences relatively relaxed. Whether that was a giant spider found by his sister, a pipe bursting or an earthquake making its presence known. It was safe to say that he never experience an emotional rollercoaster, until that fateful day.Â
While fighting the demons he experienced panic, also fear whenever there was a close call with death. When his mother passed, the sadness was overwhelming, but in the same moment he felt a glimmer of joy from being protected. Up to that point he thought he had meant nothing to her, but if she was willing to give up her life for a chance for him to live, then surely she loved him at least a little. The fact he lost her made him so angry, and he wanted to get up and fight - to protect the rest of his family.Â
But at the same time he had no strength left. The poison was setting in, and the pool of blood underneath him was ever expanding. Everything told him that he was out of time and he felt so helpless...restless. Â
âWhen I opened my eyes for the first time as a demon, I felt anger like Iâve never felt it in my life. It felt hot, like a fire, and it wanted to burn its way out of me.â At the same time, he felt strength. Enough to allow him easily shatter boulders and no doubt also to tear his way through his enemies. âPeople were talking, but their words almost didnât make sense. Or maybe they just felt unimportant.â The same way you wouldnât care why or what the mosquitoes were humming about, you would simply want them swatted and dead.Â
âI donât know what drew me back,â he admitted, apologetic because that was likely what JJ wanted to know more about. âAt some point peopleâs voices started to make sense again, and I could see that my sister was scared of me. I saw the negative energy oozing out of me and realized that I had...succumbed to the poison.â That was a terrible moment of clarity. âAfter that, it gets complicated. I felt the desire to kill but I also felt concern towards those around me.â Junghwa tackled him to the ground and he felt the familiar texture of soil underneath his back. He looked at the sky and saw it was still the same shade of blue. Nothing else changed except for him, and he could never go back.Â
âBloodlust is really difficult to resist, especially in those moments when you first turn. Your dad must love you very much, so that he managed to protect you for some time even after he became a demon.â Cheng nodded. âI think maybe I just got lucky, and by some miracle the poison didnât eat away my heart.â Because letâs be honest, when it came to determination and motivation, what JJâs father had surely exceeded him. There were so many incredibly strong people that were lost to negative energy and Cheng did not think of himself as better than any of them, so yeah, until research reveal something further, he shall assume it was the whim of whatever deity still out there.Â
Now, there were a few things he was curious about agent Remy as well. âI heard that you...lost your memories. Have you managed to recall anything?â He asked. âDo you think you were...attacked by a demon?â