but have you considered: gay
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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if i look back, i am lost

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

Product Placement
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
One Nice Bug Per Day
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The Bowery Presents

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#extradirty

oozey mess
Today's Document
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@mia-675
but have you considered: gay
My life motto

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i think post retirement ilya occasionally does extreme dehydration diets to see how ripped and vascular he can get and shane is always like: Babe (drooling a little bit) this is so stupid (stroking his hands up and down ilyas marble abs and obliques) its literally so unhealthy (not making eye contact) water is vital (squeezing bicep between both hands)
the erasure of throat goat Ilya Rozanov is starting to get to me lately 😔 we must fight back, we must restore his good name
yeah, I think Shane's got that covered.
why does it look like they’re sat at their wedding dinner table and the photographer tried to take a candid but they’re all seeing so they just stared at it

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Connor Storrie | Vogue Adria
my fav genre of hudson williams pictures
he’s one of the girls
f u c k m e
redrew a whiteboard doodle. i'm so good at drawing characters Standing there
via zzgko33890

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stop it he sent the finger heart like a bow and arrow
“i don’t ever want that problem to ever go away.”
will this work now i tried something,,
Ilya wants to do one of these "celebraties I don't think my husband can name" videos where he shows different singers to Shane because he thinks it's just too adorable how Shane has no clue about the music industry at all, only for the video to go like this:
- Oh that's Gaga. You know Lady Gaga? Of course, Ilya! She was in A star is born. Really good actress. She is more of a singer actually... Oh yeah that makes sense, I guess. You guess?! Please tell me you know Poker Face, lyubimyy. I know for a fact you have been to a club, you must have heard Poker Face before. I don't know, maybe. [Ilya starts singing Poker Face]. You're lucky you play better hockey than you sing, baby. Oi!!
- Oh I know how him! That's Armando! That's Pitbull. I'm pretty sure that's a human? Are you fucking with me Shanya. Of course baby. I know that he is a rapper but it feels so weird to call him Pitbull, when we met in Miami he said he was Armando. You met in Miami?? Yeah well, was a few years ago, he invited our team to this house- Pitbull invited the Montreal boring fucking Metros to his fucking house???
- Kesha! Do you know her songs? Absolutely none, no. How the fuck- Why am I even suprised you know her too. Oh we met at Roses birthday party in LA. She is so funny, I think you would like her! Maybe I should introduce you. What the fuck- You know what, I call her. Shane!
- Oh that's Kayleigh right? Kayleigh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's her. That's Chappell Roan. Dykstra is playing her non-stop in the lockerroom. Oh, really? Pink Pony Club? Good Luck, Babe? Casual? Sounds familiar yes. [Ilya starts singing Casual] [Shane blushes] I think... I think I remember now yeah. Didn't know that was Kayleigh. How do you know all these people but have no clue what they do? Oh funny story, she is a good friend of Rose actually-
- Oh, that's Sam! Sam Smith. I've been to a concert. Met backstage. Really cool person. Shanya, you're surprising me? You go to concerts? Well uhm. When... when I was with Rose she got us tickets and - Yeah okey.
- Montero! Or Lil Nas X. Shall I guess: Another friend of Rose? Maybe, I should ask her. Actually we did this campaign together and- I hate you.
- Oh thats the actress from the movie. The movie with all the actresses. Oceans Eight. That's Rihanna. Yeah! Rihanna. I really liked her there, she should do more movies. Shane, she is actually a singer. Oh, that's cool. You're killing me. What? Should I know her? Shane. Lyubimyy. We literally had our first dance to her song.
- That's Benito! Nice guy. You know Bad Bunny? Who is a bad bunny? That is Bad Bunny. Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio. Okay yeah? He is literally the biggest singer in the world. Is he now? Yes! Oh, wow he didn't mention. Wait, you met Bad Bunny? Yeah, well we were at some galas together, but to be fair he said- Galas? Like how many? Dunno, like four, five times and- Ilya is your nose bleeding?
I also think it would be really funny if Shane knew Armando as a real estate connection. Armando reached out to him (because they're both celebrities in real estate, obviously). Shane doesn't typically do networking, but this time he looks into this guy's properties and just thinks, "Oh! This guy actually seems to be really successful at this. I should definitely accept his invite and learn from him and maybe meet some other people with good advice. It would be silly not to." Armando at some point drops the most casual "You do hockey, right? How is that?" that Shane has ever heard from someone who seems to know who he his. Armando never brings up performing because everybody obviously knows who he is (obviously), and Shane never thinks to ask if he does anything else. Armando sends him a text inviting him to dinner or to parties he happens to be throwing when he sees Shane has a game in town, and Shane always accepts. It would be rude not to, and he likes Armando. Shane gets so accustomed to seeing Armando when he's in Miami that the first time he plays there without getting an invite, he texts him to let him know he's in town and ask him if he wants to get dinner. Sorry man, I'm on tour right now. Next time, brother. What does that mean? On tour? Like, on a tour of Europe? Or is this some slang he doesn't know? Doesn't matter, he's busy either way. No problem man, next time. 👍🏽 At least things are still good with his good buddy Armando. Maybe now he'll facetime Ilya tonight, instead.
heated rivalry + text [ilya edition / ?]
@ominous-signs
Official ominous sign
We need to bring this back full swing so bad
I ship it

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have we considered the possibility of Shane and Ilya being at a fundraising event put on by the Centaurs and there are retired players there. One was their star center when Shane was a kid and Shane gets SO flustered talking to him. Ilya’s just standing there, watching his husband blush over a tall, brash hockey player with curly hair and he’s like …you’re kidding me
the guy walks away and Shane tells Ilya that he had all the guy’s posters as a kid and he was soooo obsessed with him. Ilya’s like “uh huh. yeah. I’m sure”, simultaneously offended and so turned on by the confirmation that he’s the epitome of his husband’s type
dykes at 1997 NYC pride. flickr