siempre brillará

Brain: sure would suck if you get hit with a low mood, and go nonverbal, and come off as rude and uninterested in your friends

Me:

(some ramblings but I’m trying to process this and explain my perspective)

So I was in middle school in the 90s…. The time that people are now emulating And I admire the chola aesthetic…. but going to those 90s hood inspired events reminded me why I don’t and will never dress like a chola…

I saw all these girls dressed in the 90s chola style and all of the sudden I was transported back to my brace face self in middle school

I was a nerd. And by that I mean, I was like reading dr. Doolittle books by myself in the library sometimes

And it was the cholitas that would tell me I wasn’t Mexican because I did not dress like them. It was the cholitas that were mean to me for being a nerd. But on the other hand, I defended them when white students would say they were “chuntis” and “beaners” and I just felt like such a confused in between person…. that 90s aesthetic that is so cool right now reminds me of the time that our identities were ridged… a time that wearing hoops and dark lipstick was seen as the ONLY way to be Mexicana/chicana….. and if you weren’t that, you weren’t Mexicana, you were a “white girl”. It didn’t matter that I watched “Preciosa” and “Soñadoras” novelas or that I wore Beaded jewelry or that I spent summers in Mexico with my family…. I was a nerd and so that made me a “white girl”.

The thing is, there’s no one way to be a chicana. And as I’ve said before I’m down for all types of chicanas for chicanxs, for xicanas, for xicanx skaters, punks, rockabillies… city chicanas, small town xicanas, artist chicanas, athlete chicanas, queer xicanxs, multiracial xicanas and of course nerd xicanas.