transference

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Every night at eleven I have to choose between enjoying the sweet embrace of slumber or staying up late to do something enriching and fun that I wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity to do. And every night at eleven I take the secret third option of “doing nothing on my phone until one in the morning.”

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people complaining that any critique of a thing they like ruins it for them is such a skill issue. personally i can spend 10 hours a day critiquing the things i like and still enjoy them passionately and wholeheartedly

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i cant drive because i believe in the inherent romance of the passenger seat 

Being 18-25 is like playing a video game where you’ve skipped the tutorial and you’re just sort of running about with no idea how anything works

Being 25-30 is like later on in the game when you’ve figured out how things work, but have made poor leveling decisions along the way and are now horribly underpowered for what you’re supposed to be doing.

Being 30-35 is coming to the conclusion that if wildly swinging a sword at random while screaming has gotten you this far, may as well keep at it. 

Shoutout to the comedy duo of TSA agents I just encountered, one of whom called me "sir," the other of whom called me "ma'am," both of whom apologized in unison, each thinking the other was right

“i cannot perform basic household duties while other people are in my house” crowd make some noise

we can’t. there’s people in the House

animal crossing rules

auditory processing issues are like yes i can hear everything in this room no i didn’t hear what you said yes i will finish your sentence when you restart and no i will not know the answer to your question after all of this

hot girls stay up late just so they can finally have some alone time

wearing all black with lint as an accessory