I need to calm down.

$45/700 !

$160/700 ! huge thanks to everyone who's donated so far : )

$190/700 !

you could follow the genuinely funny poster who is going to be gone in 6 months, or you could follow me, the mediocre-to-okayish poster who's been on tumblr for 11.5 years and will be here until the flames finally reach and destroy the data center with our precious memories

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

I would let her kill me for sport

(no drinks in) who wants me

this is the vibe i bring to the party actually

"come snuggle bro"-ing my way into frotting our dicks together and silently but desperately breathing into each others mouths

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured