FINAL REFLECTION
The time has come.
For the past few years, the CAS programme was a central part of my life, whether I liked it or not. It has been of tremendous importance to me - at first, this was due to my will to finish, or at times, survive the IB programme. I was often terrified of failing CAS to the point of not actually being able to do anything for it - a cruel example of irony, certainly. But Iāve come a long way since, and Iāve learnt a lot.
Iāve learnt that all it takes to get to your destination is a first step.
For my Creativity, Iāve generally centered on developing my talents for music and graphic design. While starting the CAS programme, I knew immediately this was going to be my strength ā Iāve made music and did design since I could remember, so I could focus on broadening my horizons in these fields. And so, through my Creativity activities, Iāve realised the first Learning Outcome - identifying my own strengths and developing areas for growth. Iāve learnt about the importance of communication in both of these fields, and thought a lot about how these could be used for charitable endeavours, considering the ethical implications of my decisions - per the seventh Learning Outcome. This was, in my experience, the most rewarding part of my CAS experience - finding a practical application for my talents. The intersection between practical things and creativity has, however, also presented a challenge frequently, as was the case when I initiated and organised concerts and parties.
Creativity is largely is about self-expression, and thatās a skill Iāve developed as well. Iāve come from just producing music to creating full-bodied pieces of art which included visual components and lyrics. Performing and recording these was my favorite part of doing CAS, and the most enjoyable - pouring my heart out in front of an audience had a great feeling of honesty to it, one I would describe as euphoric at times, even if it was a major form of risk-taking for me. While playing new songs, I never knew what reaction to expect. I often feared embarrassment, and sometimes, felt plenty of it if something didnāt quite go as Iād like. The pleasant experiences, however, outweighed these.
Ā Ā Ā Risk-taking was a major part of my Service work as well. Firstly, I tried to utilize my creative talents as much as possible - I organized and performed at charity events and created posters for these, did graphic design for the Katowice Model United Nations conference. These were rewarding experiences, in that they allowed me to communicate my principles and ethical stances, as well as presented me with an opportunity to work collaboratively. However, as I got used to risk-taking, I decided to take more direct steps - working at an animal shelter and eventually taking in a puppy named Telma to my house. My time with Telma helped me become more caring - I could look into the eyes of a living, breathing being, whose life was dependent on my actions. Caring for her required sacrifices, learning and patience. But by the time she arrived at my house, I felt I was already mature enough to take this weight on my shoulders. I knew challenges paid off, and I knew that from my CAS experience. How, one might ask?
Ā Ā Ā My most challenging work within the CAS programme was certainly Activity ā in my case, swimming and cycling were my main forms of work within that component, both of which Iāve basically had to re-learn from scratch. And, as Iāve written in my reflections before, it has never come to me easily. I was petrified the first time Iāve heard about this part of the IB programme, and Iāve felt if anything was going to lead to my failure, it was going to be either this or the Maths curriculum (both came close). And now I feel honest, full-bodied pride. In taking the first step, in taking the second step, in taking the thirdā¦ and so on. Until Iāve reached what I thought was unreachable for me - a regular physical exercise regimen. One that makes me feel eerily good, physically and mentally. Iāve realized an important thing, as much as it might be a cliche - my limitations, ones I thought were inherent, could be overcome. I could change. I could do anything. And so, Iāve become much more open-minded. After all, if I was wrong about the importance of physical activity, I might have been wrong about much other things Iāve never tried!
Ā Ā Ā And so, the paralysing fear of commitment and change disappeared without a trace. Day by day, I found myself having more energy, willing to leave my bed in the morning, willing to walk Telma, make music and live a fulfilling life. And this allowed me to commit to the things Iāve always believed were the most important in life, as well. Self-care was the first step on a path to empathy. And I was never this way.
Being completely honest - while starting my CAS experience, my main goal was to survive. I was absolutely unaware of what to expect, and everything seemed extremely complicated. As I continued partaking in my CAS activities, my main goals became developing my industriousness and overcoming the paralysing stress Iāve come to associate with new activities, especially - physical activities. I believe that not only have I achieved these goals, but Iāve completely changed the mindset which led to these things seeming challenging to me. And, to be absolutely and completely honest, this has come as a surprise to me. While starting CAS, all it seemed to me was a necessity, a mere academical requirement. Iāve come to see it as much more since, a useful tool in becoming a mature, responsible person. I now regard the presence and balance of its three components in life as a sort of key to success. And frankly, three years ago, I couldnāt imagine myself writing these words.
Ā Ā Ā It was especially my Activity work that I believe changed my outlook the most. Realizing the importance of physicality on my general well-being was insanely, and I cannot stress this enough, important. I believe overcoming my fear of it will be the most important result of my CAS experience for my entire adult life. But Iāve gained more, much more through my CAS work. My commitment to making music has paid off, and leading cultural publications such as Dwutygodnik and Trzy szĆ³stki have written about my album. Iām being invited to play shows all over the country. And recently, Iāve collaborated on a series of songs with my one-time idol, MiÅosz Cirocki of the cult band ZÅota JesieÅ. I couldnāt be happier about the state of things in my lifelong journey to play music. My cuisine work has paid off as well, and Iām starting work as a sous chef in Klubojadalnia MÅodsza Siostra, a favourite hangout spot of Warsawās art world. But what certainly had the largest impact on my future life was my caretaking of Telma the dog. What was supposed to be a couple of months spent on helping a good cause turned into a lifelong commitment - I fell in love and, after much thought, decided ā yup ā to adopt her.
Ā Ā Ā My CAS journey was a strange one, marked with stress, mental barriers, and Iāve frequently asked myself ā why am I doing this? And now, nearly three years later, I couldnāt be happier.
Life really does work in mysterious ways.
