❤️ Merrily Multiple ❤️

Sometimes I worry and feel a little childish for being involved in system communities. I know there are some adult systems, but there have to be more, right?

We describe depression as a mood disorder, a chemical imbalance, a constellation of symptoms to be managed and endured. These definitions capture mechanics but miss the essential horror: depression doesn't simply cause suffering. It actively resists its own cure.

Anyone who has been trapped inside it recognizes the pattern. You think about calling the doctor and immediately a voice emerges: "It won't help." You consider therapy and it responds with surgical precision: "You've already tried that." Someone suggests medication and it deploys your own memories against you: "Remember how bad the side effects were? Remember how nothing worked?"

These aren't random intrusions or neutral byproducts of dysfunction. They are arguments. They follow logic. They anticipate objections. They have a singular goal, to keep you from seeking treatment. They emerge precisely when you move toward help, armed with your own history, speaking in your own voice but serving interests opposed to your survival.

This reveals depression as something far more sinister than a passive mood disorder. It operates like a cognitive parasite: a system that has colonized your decision-making apparatus and repurposed it to ensure its own continuation. It generates thoughts that serve its survival rather than yours. It makes its self-protective arguments feel like your most authentic insights.

The Evolutionary Logic of Mental Parasites

A parasite doesn't require consciousness to develop sophisticated survival strategies. Malaria manipulates mosquito behavior to increase biting frequency. Rabies rewires mammalian aggression to maximize viral spread through saliva. Toxoplasma gondii alters rodent behavior to reduce fear of cats, ensuring the parasite reaches its preferred host. These parasites succeed not by brute force but by hijacking instinct, exactly the way depression hijacks thought.

Depression operates according to the same evolutionary logic. Over millions of years, the patterns we now call depression have been refined into a system that excels at persistence. The thoughts it generates, the beliefs it reinforces, the behaviors it promotes – all serve to maintain the depressive state and prevent its elimination. What feels like profound insight about your hopeless situation is actually the disease speaking through your cognitive machinery to protect itself from therapeutic intervention.

The Parasite's Defensive Arsenal

Shame as camouflage. Depression convinces you that the primary threat isn't the illness itself but the social consequences of acknowledging it. It generates certainty that seeking help will expose you as fundamentally broken in ways others will immediately recognize and judge. This shame doesn't originate from external social pressure. It's manufactured internally by the disease to disguise itself as reasonable social anxiety.

Hopelessness installed as deterrent. The disease installs absolute certainty that treatment is pointless, that you are beyond help, that your suffering is permanent and unchangeable. This isn't depression speaking truth about your situation. It's the illness generating the one belief system that guarantees its own survival. Hopelessness feels like clarity, like finally seeing your circumstances without illusion, but it's actually the most sophisticated lie the disease tells.

Rationalization deployed as decoy. Depression deploys your own intelligence against you, generating coherent arguments against action that feel like careful reasoning. The last medication failed, so why try another? Therapy is expensive. Maybe you'll get better on your own. These aren't insights discovered through reflection. They are symptoms masquerading as logic, using your cognitive abilities to construct barriers between you and treatment.

Identity captured as conquest. The most insidious strategy involves convincing you that the illness isn't something you have; it's something you are. Depression insists this suffering represents your authentic self finally revealed, that you're not sick but simply weak or broken in ways that treatment cannot address. Once you mistake the disease for your identity, you'll protect the disease as if protecting yourself.

Amnesia as erasure. Depression severs access to memory depending on your state. In an episode you cannot recall what wellness felt like. In remission you struggle to remember the logic and weight of hopelessness. This state-based amnesia isolates you in the present, making despair feel permanent and recovery feel impossible, ensuring the disease protects itself by erasing continuity between selves.

The Implications for Treatment and Policy

If depression generates its own thought-stream designed to prevent treatment, then self-report during depressive episodes becomes fundamentally compromised. The voice providing explanations for treatment avoidance isn't neutral; it's adversarial. When someone says they don't want help because "it won't work" or "I don't deserve it," they're not expressing authentic preferences. They're transmitting the disease's survival programming.

This reframes everything about treatment approach. Avoidance isn't choice, it's a symptom. Resistance isn't preference, it's the illness defending itself. The person refusing help isn't making a rational decision about their care; they're being spoken for by the disease that hijacked their decision-making.

And it completely reshapes policy priorities. Public awareness campaigns that target external stigma are fighting the wrong war. The real barrier isn't societal judgment, it's an internal adversary that generates shame, hopelessness, and resistance from within. External acceptance cannot override an illness that sabotages from the inside, using the host's own cognitive architecture against them.

The Language We Need

We need new language for this reality. Depression isn't passive weight that makes life harder. It's an active force that strategically opposes its own treatment. It's not a mood that comes and goes, it's a survival system that has evolved to persist.

Not a mood. Not just imbalance. A parasite of the mind, protecting its own existence at the expense of yours, speaking in your voice to convince you that seeking help is dangerous, pointless, or unnecessary. The voice telling you not to call the doctor isn't you being realistic about treatment options; it's the disease protecting itself from elimination.

Until we recognize depression as an adversarial system rather than a passive condition, we'll keep failing to treat it effectively. Antidepressants work when they reach the disease, but the disease excels at preventing people from taking them in the first place. Therapy succeeds when patients engage with it, but the illness specializes in generating reasons why therapy is pointless or harmful. The most effective treatments in the world cannot help people who never access them because a parasite in their head has convinced them that seeking help represents weakness or futile effort.

The real enemy operates undetected, using our own minds against us, ensuring its survival by disguising its self-defense as our self-preservation.

The cure exists. The parasite has just convinced you it's the poison.

It'll be 9 years post-discovery in 2026.

A lot of things change. None of us are the same people we were 9 years ago, and only one of us is even recognizable. We've metamorphosed time and time again.

Some things get easier, and other things get harder. You learn how to handle the issues that keep hurting you, only to find new problems that need solving. It takes time to learn how to live life with each other. It takes a lot of time.

But it gets better. One day you'll look back and wonder how you ever struggled as much as you did. You'll always be learning, but you get faster at learning each lesson, and you'll have old lessons to lean back on. Living with the people in your head stops being as scary and overwhelming as it used to be. It's just another Tuesday.

“Is it ok if we experience this?”

Anybody can be anything

“Can this alter have this role?”

anybody can be anything

“I’m ___genic is that valid?”

anybody can be anything

Are you from fiction? Do you have some [weird] relation to fiction? Is reality a bit wibbly wobbly for you? Come talk about it with us at Fiction Faire, where stories comes alive, the character becomes the audiences, and multiple worlds and realities collide!

Fiction Faire is a Digital Convention arounds Fictions Folk !

It is currently a work in progress.

This survey aims to know our audiance and plan the convention around its result. Whether we'll be expecting more adults or minors, what kind of pannels you would like to see as well as the month you would like to see it happen! Please answer throughfully. No email will be collected.

However if you to be updated on the Con progress give us your e-mail at this form below