the clanging of his armored ass cheeks brought down the walls of many a castle
From The Book of Chivalry of Geoffroi de Charny (~1350), complaining about Knights These Days
And they are dressed in such an indecent way that that which everyone ought to be most ashamed to show is what they show all the time to those who want to look, for they cannot refrain from showing their backsides to whoever wants to see them.
What is more, it is not enough for them to be as God made them; they are not content with themselves as they are, but they gird themselves up and so rein themselves in round the middle of their bodies that they seek to deny the existence of the stomachs which God has given them: they want to pretend that they have not and never have had one, and everyone knows that the opposite is true.
