DEV or DEVON ,, he/she/they ⢠9TEEN. infj. division one procrastinator. writes whenever inspiration permits. currently watching the avatar movies. sfw & nsfw.
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sanemi doesn't even know if he can still scream. his throat's been stretched far too taut, like an elastic band torn at the seams by hands ravenous beyond belief. every fiber of his body aches, shrieking for release, the very fabric of his bruised skin set alight with the dark flames of bloodied exertion. the agony of it all burns into the mortality of his flesh. but nothing can possibly compare to the pain thrumming within his heart, pulling apart the tender, weeping muscle with its insatiable claws and tearing it open til he spills out the blasphemy of his emotions. he stares at his hands. horrid, disfigured clumps of scarlet flesh, robbed barren of his blade. he blinks dumblyāonce, twice, as if to truly try and absorb what he's seeing. there's blood.
but it's not his.
it's not his.
he's done everything he can. fought until the pain clouded his vision to a blinded lavender, slaughtered any demon that dared cross his path. he even prayed to the gods above, begging, pleading, for a sliver of their kindness, for a meager blessing that never came. how funny the image wasāa sinner who hadn't bothered to taste the bitterness of prayer even once in his life, and yet driven to his knees all the same.
with a breath that barely feels like it belongs to him, sanemi looks downā
he sees the boy that's quietly endured every curse he's ever hurled and every ounce of poison he's ever spat, all the while his own tongue curled with the acidity of it all. the boy whose obstinacy cruelly rivalled his own, with gleaming sparks in wide eyes that were too young, too innocent, eyes that didn't deserve to witness the savagery of the corps. the boy whose perpetual warmth within outweighed the deathly gelidity sinking into his mangled, desecrated figure. the boy who, even now, had the kindness to bestow upon sanemi a title he'd sworn himself off to a million sunsets ago because the grief that consumed his heart was a curse he would carry alone.
"because. . my 'nemi is the nicest person ever."
sanemi's vision gets blurry at the edges again because, as his brother crumples into tiny little fragments of himself, carried by the indifference of the wind, and as he hopelessly, wretchedly tries to cling onto the pieces that are left, he realizes that the battle is now raging withinā
and he realizes that he's already lost.
author's note : couldn't sleep so i wrote this instead. yeah. im back on tumblr!
summary: years after your messy breakup that broke up the band, you and mydei are forced back together for a reunion tourāand the public canāt get enough of your chemistry. on stage, youāre electric, but backstage itās all snide comments, heated arguments, and mydei slipping in petty lyric changes just to piss you off. youāre not sure whatās worse: how much you still hate him or how much you donāt.
⢠pairing: lead guitarist!mydei x lead singer!fem!reader
⢠contains: romance, angst, smut (oral sex, hate sex, angry sex, unprotected sex, wall sex, overstimulation, slight dirty talk), exes to lovers au, modern au, band au, profanity, alcohol consumption, slight toxicity from both parties, smoking, an amphoreus ensemble castāplease let me know if iāve missed anything!
⢠word count: 16.7k
⢠note: inspired by the honkai star rail official mydei art, olivia rodrigoās get him back! & daisy jones and the six by taylor jenkins reid. read on ao3 here.
i). wait, is this the song with the drums?
Your first instinct, when Anaxa drops the news about the reunion tour, is to shake your head and vehemently say no.
āAbsolutely not,ā you say, holding up a hand like that might somehow physically block the idea from reaching you. Anaxa simply raises an eyebrow and adjusts his glasses.
āItās not a request,ā he replies, flipping through the stack of papers he brought with him. āItās happening whether youāre on board or not. Your contractās airtight.āĀ
āThatās impossible,ā you scoff, folding your arms defensively. āI specifically remember agreeing to no future projects involving him.ā
āYeah, well, when youāre in a band that makes millions, the label doesnāt exactly care about your personal vendettas. Fans have been begging for this for years. You know how much money this is going to make?ā
āI canāt do this, Anaxa. You know what heās like. Heās gonna make this a living hell for me.ā
Your managerās eyes soften just enough to make you look away. āLook, I know itās not ideal. But itās just a tour. A few months, and then you never have to see his face again if you donāt want to.ā
You hesitate, teeth worrying your bottom lip. Anxiety coils inside your stomach like a live wire. Youād thought youād buried that part of your lifeāleft it to rot somewhere in the wreckage of what used to be your band and your relationship. Mydeiās name still leaves a bitter aftertaste whenever it slips out of someoneās mouth.
But the label wants it. The fans want it.Ā
āSo, whatāyou just expect me to pretend we didnāt break up in front of the entire world?ā you snap, though thereās less fire behind it this time.
Anaxa shrugs and sets the contract on your coffee table. āPretend, donāt pretend. Hell, make it part of the show for all I care. As long as youāre both on that stage together, the crowdās going to eat it up.ā
You hate how practical he sounds. How it almost makes sense. You glance at the contract, at the neat, tidy letters spelling out your own name and Mydeiās right next to each other, and feel something bitter curl up in your chest.
āIām gonna kill him,ā you mutter.
Anaxa pats your shoulder as he heads for the door. āTry not to do it on stage. Though that might actually sell more tickets.ā
You flip him off without looking, and Anaxa just laughs on his way out. The contract sits there on the coffee table, and no matter what you do, you canāt seem to look away. Your eyes blur over the words, and all you can think about is him.
Mydei.
Youāve spent months forcing yourself not to say his name out loud, not to think about his legs tangled with yours in bed or the rasp of his voice in your ear when he couldnāt keep his hands to himself before a show. You donāt let yourself think about the songs you wrote together. You definitely donāt think about the way it all fell apart. It was easier when you could pretend that part of your life was overāwhen you didnāt have to picture his face or hear his voice in your head, mocking you with every love song you swore youād never sing again.
With a resigned sigh, you grab the pen Anaxa had placed next to the contract papers and flip to the last page. Your signature comes out a little shaky, but itās done. You let the pen drop onto the table and lean back against the cushions.Ā
The rehearsal studio feels too small. Itās ironic, reallyāafter spending years crammed into dingy vans and shitty motel rooms together, youād think it wouldnāt bother you. Youāre the first person there (Anaxa had threatened to personally drag you out of your apartment if you didnāt show up on time), and because you donāt know what else to do, you set about adjusting your mic stand.
Itās stupid. You know itās already set to your height, but it gives your hands something to do. The room is way too quiet, the walls lined with soundproofing and a few faded posters from when your bandāthe Chrysos Heirsāwas at its peak. Thereās a familiar, musty smellāstale air and old fabricāand it makes your chest ache just a little.
Without really thinking about it, you start humming one of the old songsāone that never made it to an album, just something you and Mydei had messed around with one night in the back of a bus. The melody flows out of you like muscle memory, soft and a little shaky at first, but gaining strength as you let the lyrics slip past your lips.
āKiss me once and call me baby,Lie to me and say Iām crazyāCanāt believe I let you take meāā
The door swings open mid-verse, and you stop singing so fast it almost gives you whiplash.
Mydei steps inside, and for a second, you canāt move. Itās like being punched in the gutāseeing him again after all this time. He looks almost the same, and thatās what pisses you off the most. The same messy hair, the same worn leather jacket hanging off his shoulders, that same stupid, self-assured expression. The only real difference is the hint of stubble lining his jaw, like he didnāt bother shaving before showing up. Typical.
He stops just inside the door, guitar case slung over his shoulder, and his eyes lock onto yours. His expression doesnāt give away muchājust a calm, uninterested look, like he couldnāt give a shit about being here. Your stomach twists, anger simmering just under your skin. Youād spent months convincing yourself that youād moved on, that he didnāt matter anymore, but seeing him here, right in front of you, makes all that effort feel pointless. You hate that he still looks good.Ā
He doesnāt say anything, just drags his gaze over you like heās sizing you up. You force yourself not to react, keeping your expression as neutral as possible, even though your hands are shaking where they grip the mic stand. You canāt let him know how much this is messing with you. You refuse to give him the satisfaction.
Mydei glances at the mic stand, then back at you, and thereās a flicker of something in his eyesāannoyance, maybe, or just plain indifference. You donāt know which is worse. You half expect him to make some smartass comment about your singing earlier, but he doesnāt say a word. Just sets his guitar case down on one of the couches and starts unzipping it, still not acknowledging you.
The way heās ignoring you grates on your nerves. Youāre tempted to snap at him just to get some kind of reaction. But you know how that game goesāhow heās always been good at pushing your buttons and making you the one who loses their cool first. Youāre not giving him the satisfaction today.
You busy yourself with the mic stand again, even though thereās nothing to fix. Itās something to do with your hands, at least. The air feels thick, and your chest feels tight, and you canāt stop your mind from wandering back to late-night songwriting sessions and whispered promises that ended up meaning nothing. You wonder if he thinks about those nights tooāor if heās just moved on completely while youāre still stuck in the aftermath.
The door swings open again, and Castorice and Hyacine walk in, chatting and laughing about something. They both pause when they see you and Mydei, exchanging a quick look before stepping inside.
āHi,ā Castorice greets, adjusting the hem of her faded purple band t-shirt. āEverything okay here?ā
You force a smile that probably looks more like a grimace. āYeah. All good.ā
Hyacine gives you a small smile, her pigtails swinging, and starts setting up her bass. Castorice nudges Mydei with her elbow as she passes by, but he just shrugs her off and keeps tuning his guitar. She rolls her eyes and grabs her drumsticks.
You canāt help but glare at him, half-hoping heāll look up so you can throw something snarky his way. Maybe if heād just stop pretending like youāre invisible, you wouldnāt feel like your chest is caving in. Youāre caught between wanting to scream at him and wanting to leave before your hands start shaking too hard to hide.
Phainon slips in a few minutes later, his snowy hair wind-ruffled and his jeans ripped at the knees. āAlready at each otherās throats, huh?ā he mutters, mostly to himself, but you hear it.
āNah,ā you bite out. āNo oneās dead yet.ā
Phainon chuckles and unslings his guitar case. Itās forced, yes, and you know heās just trying to lighten the mood. It doesnāt help much. Mydei doesnāt even acknowledge the comment; he just keeps strumming a few notes like heās deliberately tuning you out. You look away.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: āChrysos Heirs: The Reunion Tour ā Behind the Music. Episode One.ā
[INT. STUDIO ā DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]Soft lighting. Castorice sits on a stool, tapping her drumsticks against her knee absentmindedly. She grins when she notices the camera.
CASTORICE: The first practice? Oh, man. That was a nightmare. I mean, I know it was gonna be awkward, butāwow. I half expected the room to just spontaneously combust. (Laughs) They didnāt even look at each other for the first half hour. I thought Iād have to throw a cymbal at someone just to break the ice.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, sitting cross-legged on the floor, her bass leaning against her shoulder.]
HYACINE: Honestly, I wasnāt sure if theyād even show up. _____ got there first, and Mydei came just before me and Cas showed up. When we walked in⦠(Sighs) It was like stepping into a freezer. I kept looking at Castorice like, Are we really doing this?
[CUT TO: PHAINON, leaning against the wall with his guitar propped up next to him.]
PHAINON: You could cut the tension with a knife. I was just waiting for one of them to snap, honestly. ____ was messing with the mic stand like it owed her money, and Mydeiā(snorts) he just acted like he didnāt give a shit. Everyone knows he does, though. I could see his hands shaking a little while he was tuning his guitar.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, slouched on the couch, arms crossed.]
MYDEI: First practice? Whatever. I showed up, didnāt I? (Shrugs) _____ was already there, singing something I wrote. I didnāt say anything. Didnāt feel like arguing. Didnāt feel like⦠dealing with that. (Pauses) We got through it. Thatās what matters.
[CUT TO: YOU, sitting on a folding chair, arms crossed, eyes fixed somewhere off camera.]
YOU: I didnāt think heād actually come. And when he did⦠(shakes head) I was just angry. At him, at myself. At the fact that he didnāt even look at me. We used to be⦠I donāt know. Better than that. He didnāt say anything to me, and I wasnāt gonna be the one to break first. We both have too much pride.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE AGAIN, twirling a drumstick between her fingers.]
CASTORICE: Eventually, I just started playing something random to break the silence. That usually worked back thenāget the rhythm going, and the rest will follow. I guess some things never change, because once I started up, Phainon joined in, and Hyacine just kinda jumped in too. ____ and Mydei just stared at each other like it was some kind of weird staring contest.
[CUT TO: HYACINE AGAIN, laughing softly.]
HYACINE: I thought one of them was gonna strangle the other before we even got to the chorus. But after a few minutes of us just messing around with the intro, _____ gave in and started singing. Mydei followedāstubborn assholeābut it actually sounded good. Like, almost better than I remembered.
[CUT TO: PHAINON AGAIN, smiling with his eyes crinkled at the corners.]
PHAINON: It was a mess. A beautiful mess. Thatās just how it is with us. Always on the edge of imploding but somehow making it work. They didnāt say a word to each other the whole practice, but the music spoke for them. Itās weird how that works, huh?
[CUT TO: MYDEI, still looking annoyed, but his jaw clenches a little.]
MYDEI: We got through the set. It wasnāt⦠terrible. (Pauses) She still sings like sheās got something to prove. Never really lost that passion. I guess thatās one thing that hasnāt changed.
[CUT TO: YOU, looking almost hesitant.]
YOU: The music was the only thing that didnāt feel different. Thatās the worst part. We still fit together on stage. I donāt know how to feel about that.
ii). he had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye.
The venue is packed, lights flashing in time with the beats of the opening song. Castorice is good. That hasnāt changed, not even a little. The heat of the stage lights is already making sweat prickle at the back of your neck, but you force yourself to ignore it, keeping your eyes fixed on the dark mass of people in front of you. You can barely make out individual faces past the glare, but it doesnāt matterātheyāre all screaming, hands in the air, chanting your bandās name like a war cry.
To your left, Hyacineās fingers fly over the bass strings, head bobbing in time with the rhythm. Her eyes are focused and sharp, lips curved into a smile. Next to her, Phainon strums his guitar, sweat dripping down his temples. Heās got that manic grin on his face, the one that always surfaces when heās deep in the music.
Youāre trying to focusākeep your voice steady, keep your hands from shakingābut itās hard when you know heās right behind you, adjusting his guitar strap and dragging his pick over the strings just loud enough to be a distraction. You swear heās doing it on purpose, plucking random notes like heās got nothing better to do, just to see if he can make you crack.
You refuse to look back at him. Instead, you take a slow breath and lean into the mic, eyes half-lidded and voice low as you speak to the crowd.
āHey, everyone,ā you drawl, and the noise swells, cheers and screams merging into a single deafening roar. You give them a crooked smile. āFeels good to be back. Did you guys miss us?ā
The crowd roars. You can feel itāthe way theyāve been waiting for this, for you. You ignore the way it makes your throat close up a little, focusing instead on the setlist displayed on the prompter. The opening song is one of your older hits, the kind of thing that used to play on the radio at least once a day back when it was first released. Youāve sung it a thousand times before, but tonight, it feels different. Heās right there, and you hate how you can feel his presence without even looking.
The drums kick in, pounding through your ribs, and you throw yourself into the first verse.
āBite your tongue ātil it bleeds,
Hide the bruises on your knees,
Say you never caredā
I know youāre lying through your teeth.ā
Your voice is steady, loud enough to carry over the instruments as the crowd sings with you. You almost lose yourself in it. The light pulses red and white, casting shadows across the stage, and you grip the mic stand tighter, putting every ounce of frustration into your performance.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Mydei move closer to his mic, his guitar slung low and his fingers dancing over the strings. You force yourself not to look at him, focusing on the rhythm instead, on keeping your breathing even as the verse transitions into the chorus.
āBittersweet vendetta,
Carved your name into my skin,
Kiss me like a secret.
Make me wish Iād never let you in.ā
You push your voice harder, practically shouting the last line, and the crowdās response is instantaneousāvoices rising to meet yours, some of them screaming loud enough to rival the speakers. You finally risk a glance to your right, just in time to see Mydeiās lips curve into a smirk, his head tilted like heās daring you to acknowledge him.
He leans into the mic, and his voice slices through the air.
āShe lies like she means it,
Fake love on her lipsāā
You clench your jaw so hard it aches, but you donāt miss your next cue, even though your mind is reeling. Thatās not the original line. Heās never changed it beforeānot in all the years you performed this song together. You shove down the surge of anger, forcing yourself to keep going as if nothing happened.
The audience reacts immediatelyāsome laughing, some whooping. You know they heard it. You know he did it just to get a rise out of you. You hate that itās working, that your pulse is thrumming in your ears and your hands are shaking even as you keep your expression blank.
You donāt look at him. Instead, you pour every ounce of your irritation into the next verse, voice dropping low and venomous.
āCut me down with your clever words,
Always knew how to make it hurt,
Fake your way to heaven,
But Iād follow you through hell first.ā
You swear you hear Mydei laugh under his breath, but he keeps playing like nothingās wrong, his fingers moving over the strings like second nature. Your stomach twists, and you canāt tell if itās fury or something uglierāsomething that feels like regret buried under years of resentment.
The bridge comes crashing in, and you give it everything youāve got. Your voice is raw and unrestrained.
āSwore Iād never write about you,
Guess I lied again somehow,
Made my bed on broken promises,
Tell meāare you happy now?ā
The crowdās roar almost drowns you out, but you donāt let up, spitting out the words like theyāre poison on your tongue. Youāre breathless by the time the final chorus hits, and the last line comes out almost like a snarl.
When the song ends, the audience erupts, and you finally allow yourself a moment to breathe, wiping sweat from your forehead with your palm. Your ears are ringing, but you catch a glimpse of Mydei as he steps back from his mic, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He doesnāt look at you. Nor does he seem to particularly care that he just tore through one of your most iconic songs with a cheap, unnecessary jab.
You force a smile and wave to the crowd.
The moment the stage lights cut out and the cheers of the crowd fade behind the heavy backstage door, youāre off. You donāt bother thanking the crew or even stopping to catch your breathāyou just march straight to the green room, hands still trembling from the adrenaline and the anger. Your heartās pounding so loud in your ears that you barely hear the door swing open behind you.
You whirl around just as Mydei walks in, still wiping sweat off his face with the hem of his shirt. The sight of himāsmirking like he didnāt just pull that shit on stageāmakes your stomach twist with rage.
āWhat the fuck was that?ā Your voice comes out harsher than you intended, but you donāt care.
Mydei just raises an eyebrow, like heās confused about why youāre yelling. āWhat was what?ā
āDonāt play fucking dumb,ā you snap. āYou changed the fucking lyrics. You know exactly what Iām talking about.ā
He just shrugs and tosses his towel onto one of the chairs. āOh, that. Yeah, I thought it sounded better. More honest.ā
You take a step closer, jabbing a finger at him. āYou donāt get to do that. You donāt get to just rewrite shit on stage without telling anyone. We practiced that song a hundred times, Mydei. What the hell is wrong with you?ā
āYouāre really gonna get this worked up over one line?ā He scoffs, running a hand through his sweat-damp hair. āCome on, itās not that deep.ā
āNot that deep?ā You laugh, but itās humourless and cold. āYou made it sound like Iām some kind of manipulative bitch in front of thousands of people! How the hell am I supposed to not get worked up about that?ā
āMaybe if it wasnāt true, it wouldnāt bother you so much,ā he says, leaning back against the wall.
Your jaw drops. āExcuse me?ā
Mydei shrugs again, his voice low and taunting. āYou always were good at faking itāfeelings, sincerity, the whole tragic frontwoman act. Sorry if I just cut through the bullshit.ā
Something snaps inside you, and before you even realise it, you shove him backwards with both hands. Mydei doesnāt stumble, but his smirk falls for just a secondājust enough to make you feel a flicker of satisfaction.
āFuck you,ā you spit out. āYou donāt know a single thing about me.ā
His face hardens, and he pushes off the wall to get right back into your space. āDonāt I? I know you lie like itās second nature. You get off on being the victim, pretending like youāre the one who got hurt. But we both know youāre just as guilty as I am.ā
āYouāre a fucking asshole.ā Youāre breathing hard now, fists clenched at your sides to keep from swinging at him. āYouāre the one who decided to leave the band first. Iām not the one who bailed.ā
āYeah, because sticking around and watching you sabotage everything we built together sounded like a blast. Youāre impossible to deal with. Always have been.ā
āYou think Iām impossible? Youāre the one who picks a fight every chance you get. Itās like you canāt stand if Iām not miserable,ā you shoot back. āNewsflash, Mydeiānot everythingās about you and your bruised ego.ā
āSays the girl who canāt stand it when someone calls her out,ā he says, lips curling into a mocking grin. āMaybe I hit a nerve because you know Iām right. Youāre so used to being adored that the second someone questions you, you lose your shit.ā
You shove him again, harder this time, and he doesnāt moveājust stays rooted to the spot, glaring down at you. āGod, I hate you,ā you seethe, voice cracking despite yourself.
āFunny. Didnāt sound like hate the last time you were screaming my name.ā
You freeze, heat rushing to your face, and the anger bubbles into something darkerāsomething desperate and bitter. āYou think youāre so fucking clever, donāt you? Always gotta have the last word, always gotta prove something. Youāre pathetic.ā
āYouāre one to talk,ā he grits out. āStill hung up on shit that happened years ago. Iām pathetic? Youāre the one still singing about heartbreak like itās gonna make people feel sorry for you.ā
You want to hit him. You want to scream at him until your voice breaks. Instead, you shove him again, and this time he catches your wrists, yanking you forward until your chest brushes his. His face is inches from yours, breath hot against your cheek.
āAdmit it,ā Mydei murmurs, low. āYouāre pissed because I called you out, and now you canāt hide behind your lyrics like a coward.ā
You wrench your hands free, but you donāt move back. Youāre too close, breathing hard. āYouāre such a fucking asshole,ā you whisper, voice tight.
His eyes bore into yours. āAnd youāre a goddamn liar.ā
Before either of you can say anything else, Hyacine pushes the door open with a scowl. She takes one look at the two of you and shakes her head. āSeriously? Already? I knew this tour would be a shitshow, but I didnāt think youād try to kill each other on night one.ā
You finally rip yourself away from him, swiping at your face like youāre trying to scrub the confrontation off your skin. Mydei doesnāt look at you. He just picks up his towel and wipes his hands.
Castorice slips in behind Hyacine, still buzzing from the performance. āKephale, you two are like feral cats. Canāt we just chill for five seconds?ā
āWeāve got interviews in ten minutes,ā Phainon pipes up from behind her. āYou guys need to get your shit together.ā
Hyacine levels both of you with a glare. āI donāt care what personal shit youāve got going on, but donāt pull that crap on stage again. Mydei, you donāt change the lyrics without telling us. _____, stop feeding into his bullshit. Youāre both being idiots.ā
Neither of you says anything, but youāre still seething, trying to force down the bitter ache in your chest. Mydei rolls his shoulders and turns away, his shaggy hair falling down the nape of his neck. When you finally turn and leave the room, you can still feel his eyes on your back, and it makes your skin crawl. You tell yourself youāre just glad to be away from him, but the knot in your stomach says otherwise.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: āOpening Night ā Sold Out.ā
[INT. STUDIO ā DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, her expression thoughtful.]
CASTORICE: Okay, look, Iām not gonna go around pinning the blame on anyone. That doesnāt do anyone any good. (Shifts slightly) I just think that weāre all adults here, and what Mydei and _____ were doing didnāt do us any favours.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, scowling at the camera.]
HYACINE: Theyāre pretty f***ing immature, if you ask me. Sometimes I think Mydei and _____ forget that theyāre not the only people in the band. They founded it, sure, but what about me, Cas, and Phainon? This isnāt just some petty high school-level battle of the bands shit. This is our f***ing careers weāre talking about.
[CUT TO: PHAINON, leaning back with a cigarette rolling between his fingers.]
PHAINON: Yeah, itās real inspiring when your frontmen are trying to rip each otherās heads off backstage. Real rock and roll. (Scoffs) Look, theyāre both stubborn as hell, and itās not like we didnāt see it coming. You put two people with that much history on the same stage, and itās like throwing a match into gasoline.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, arms spread out on the back of the couch.]
MYDEI: Itās not my fault she canāt handle the truth. Weāre supposed to be putting on a show, arenāt we? Guess whatādramaās a part of it. If she wants to get pissed because I added a little honesty to the setlist, thatās on her. (Shrugs) Iām not gonna apologise for making it real.
[CUT TO: YOU, visibly tense, gripping the edge of your seat.]
YOU: He didnāt change the lyrics because it was real. He did it to hurt me. Thereās a difference. Itās not about the fans, or the show, or whatever bullshit excuse heās telling himself. Itās about control. He just couldnāt stand the fact that I was getting through it without him, that I was⦠fine. (Pauses) Or at least trying to be.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE AGAIN, rubbing the back of her neck.]
CASTORICE: (Sighs) Youād think that after all these years, theyād have learned how to work together without turning it into a battlefield. Weāre not in high school anymore. Weāre on tour. If one of them messes up, itās not just their mess to clean upāitās all of ours.
[CUT TO: HYACINE AGAIN, looking more annoyed than before.]
HYACINE: Itās exhausting. Weāre just trying to make music, not mediate whatever unresolved shit theyāve got going on. Half the time, I feel like Iām babysitting. They either need to figure it out or shut the hell up and be professional for once.
[CUT TO: PHAINON AGAIN, giving a resigned laugh.]
PHAINON: Honestly, if theyād just screw and get it over with, we might finally get some peace around here.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, AGAIN]
MYDEI: Phainon said that? Not a chance. Iād rather set my guitar on fire.
[CUT TO: YOU AGAIN, rolling your eyes.]
YOU: Yeah, well, might be the most impressive thing Mydeiās done in a while.
iii). do i love him? do i hate him? i guess itās up and down.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: āThe Foundersā Cut.ā
[INT. STUDIO ā DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: YOU, sitting upright with your arms crossed.]
INTERVIEWER (off-camera): Can you tell us about the bandās early days? How did the Chrysos Heirs come together?
YOU: God, that feels like forever ago. (Pauses) It was just me and Mydei at first. We were⦠just kids, really. Weād meet up after school in my dadās garageāhim on guitar, me scribbling down lyrics on whatever scraps of paper we could find. It wasnāt anything serious back then. We just wanted to make noise and piss off the neighbours.
INTERVIEWER: Did you always know it was going to be a band?
YOU: (Shakes head) Not at all. We didnāt plan for it to be anything more than a way to kill time. Weād play until our fingers ached or Dad came out yelling at us to cut it out. (Smiles a little) It was messy and loud andāfun. We didnāt think much past that.
INTERVIEWER: When did it start to feel like more than just noise?
YOU: When Castorice came into the picture. She was incredible. She had this way of making everything tighter, more precise. Like she just knew what needed to happen to make the sound click. Mydei knew her from some music workshop thingāsaid she was the only drummer heād met who wasnāt full of shit. (Laughs softly) One day, she just showed up with this beat-up drum set and told us our timing was crap. And she was right.
INTERVIEWER: What was your reaction to her criticism?
YOU: Oh, I was pissed. I didnāt want some stranger telling us we were doing it wrong. But she wasnāt mean about itājust honest, I suppose. And once she started playing, we couldnāt really argue with her. She made us sound like an actual band.
INTERVIEWER: And Hyacine and Phainon? How did they join?
YOU: They came later. Weād been playing these tiny, shitty bar showsābarely getting paid, just trying to scrape together enough for gas and food. It was clear we needed a bassist. Castorice was the one who pushed for it. She said we sounded hollow without that low end. She knew Hyacine from some other band that had just implodedāsome drama I never got the full story on. Hyacine came in and just took over. She was relentless, always pushing for perfection. It drove me and Mydei crazy at first, but she made us sound good. Really good.
INTERVIEWER: And Phainon?
YOU: (Smiles fondly) Phainon was a surprise. Mydei found him at some underground gigāhe was up there shredding like it was the easiest thing in the world. Mydei practically dragged him to rehearsal the next day, and Phainon barely said a word. He just picked up his guitar and played like heād been with us the whole time. We didnāt even have to teach him the songsāhe just⦠knew. It was weird, but it worked.
INTERVIEWER: What was it like performing together back then?
YOU: Incredible. We werenāt perfect by any meansāweād f**k up chord changes and stumble over lyrics, but people didnāt care. There was this energy that made up for it. The crowd felt it too. Weād get off stage, drenched in sweat, hearts pounding, and just laugh about how much we almost screwed up. Those shows were something else.
INTERVIEWER: And what about you and Mydei? You two were already together by then?
YOU: (Pauses, glancing away) Yeah. It just happened. It wasnāt really something we talked aboutāit just made sense at the time. We were always around each other anyway.
INTERVIEWER: What changed?
YOU: (Exhales slowly) Success changed things. Suddenly we were everywhereātouring, interviews, non-stop shows. We didnāt have time to breathe, let alone talk about anything that mattered. It was just⦠go, go, go. And when things got tough, we didnāt know how to handle it. We didnāt talk. We just fought. About stupid shitālyrics, setlists, tempos. It wasnāt about the band anymore. It was about us, trying to hurt each other without admitting thatās what we were doing.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, leaning back in his chair with one arm thrown across the back of it.]
INTERVIEWER (off-camera): Can you talk about why you left the band?
MYDEI: (Exhales, looks away for a moment) It wasnāt⦠one thing, you know? People always want it to be simple, like thereās one big reason I just up and left. But it wasnāt. There was justātoo much shit piling up. Tension between all of us, pressure from the label, and I wasnāt in the right headspace to deal with it.
INTERVIEWER: Do you regret it?
MYDEI: Sometimes. Maybe. I didnāt really think about what it would do to the others at the time. I needed to figure out who I was without the band. It was selfish, I know, but I couldnāt keep pretending I was okay with how things were going.
INTERVIEWER: Were you unhappy with the band itself, or just the dynamics between the members?
MYDEI: Both, I guess. The band was everything to me at one point. It was the one thing I thought I could count on. But then it just got⦠complicated. We went from just being a bunch of idiots messing around to something huge, and I wasnāt ready for that kind of pressure. The music stopped feeling like oursālike mine. It was just what everyone else wanted from us.
INTERVIEWER: How did the others react when you told them you were leaving?
MYDEI: (Chuckles bitterly) Not well. Castorice tried to talk me out of itāsaid I was being impulsive and throwing away something weād built from the ground up. Hyacine was pissed. She didnāt say much, but I could tell she was angry. Phainon didnāt say anything at all. Just kind of⦠stared at me like Iād betrayed him or something.
INTERVIEWER: And _____?
MYDEI: (Stiffens) She didnāt take it well. She said I was running awayālike I always did. We fought about it for hours. Nothing we said made sense by the end of it. Just yelling for the sake of yelling. I think we both knew it wasnāt just about the band at that point.
INTERVIEWER: After you left, the Chrysos Heirs seemed to almost dissolve overnight. Can you talk about that?
MYDEI: (Breathes out slowly) Yeah, I heard about it a few months later. It wasnāt something I expected. I thought theyād keep going without me, honestly. I didnāt think I was that important. (Pauses) Turns out, though, that me leaving kind of pulled the rug out from under everything.Ā
INTERVIEWER: Did the others ever talk to you about it?
MYDEI: Castorice called me once. She didnāt say much, just that theyād decided to take a break, and that without me there, it wasnāt working. She didnāt blame me, exactly, but I could hear it in her voice. Like she was trying not to say that Iād screwed everything up. (Shakes his head) Phainon never reached out. I donāt know if he was angry or justādisappointed. Hyacine texted me some stuff, mostly updates, but nothing about how they felt about it.
INTERVIEWER: What about _____?
MYDEI: (Tenses visibly) We never spoke to each other after I left.
INTERVIEWER: Do you think that the band dissolving hurt her the most?
MYDEI: Yeah. I know it did. The band was everything to herāmore than it was to any of us, I think. She was always the one pushing us to go further, to make better music, to keep going even when it was hard. So when it all fell apart⦠I know she took it personally. Like she failed or something. Especially when I saw her trying to do solo stuff after that.Ā
INTERVIEWER: Did you listen to her solo work?
MYDEI: (Nods) Every track. It was goodādifferent, but good.
The studio lights beat down on you like a relentless sun, and you resist the urge to wipe at the thin sheen of sweat forming at your hairline. You force yourself to smile through it, shoulders squared and posture just right, even as your muscles ache from holding the same position for too long. Castorice mutters under her breath about how awkward it feels to act casual when thereās a giant lens pointed right at your face; you canāt help but agree. Itās been ages since the last group photoshoot, and the discomfort is hard to ignore.
Mydei stands at the far end, stiff and distant, hands stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket. Heās staring at some fixed point behind the photographerās head, looking like heās seconds away from bolting. It drives you insane how obvious heās being about not wanting to be here. You catch his eye once, and the look he gives you is so blank, itās almost insulting.
Castorice throws an arm across Phainonās shoulders, and the two lean into each other. Hyacine sits cross-legged in front of you, holding up two peace signs and grinning widely.
āAll right, good! Thatās enough for the group shots,ā Aglaea, the director of photography, calls out, clapping her hands together. āEveryone but Mydei and _____, take five. I want a few duo shots.ā
You stiffen. Castorice glances between the two of you with something close to worry, but when you shoot her a tight smile, she just shrugs and heads off with Hyacine and Phainon in tow.
Mydei hasnāt moved an inch, his hands still stuffed into his pockets, jaw tight. You take a slow breath and will yourself not to let him get under your skin. Not again.
Aglaea gestures you both forward, clearly sensing the awkwardness but too professional to comment on it. āAll right, you two. Letās lean into the chemistry a bit. I want intimate and rawālike the worldās finally looking at you both behind the professional masks.ā
Your lips press into a thin line. Mydei doesnāt react at all.
āFace each other,ā Aglaea instructs, waving a hand to adjust the lighting. It catches on the bright gold of her blouse, and you blink a little. āMydei, hands on her waist. _____, put your hands on his shoulders. Closer. I need to feel the tension. Like youāre caught between fighting and kissing.ā
You almost laugh at the irony. Thatās practically all youāve done since he showed up againāhovering somewhere between wanting to scream at him and wanting to grab his face and never let go. The thought burns. You squash it as you step forward.
Mydeiās hands settle on your waist, and itās as if electricity crackles through you, setting every nerve alight. His touch is hesitant, like heās not sure he has the right to be this close anymore. Your hands come up to his shoulders, fingers brushing over familiar leather and muscle, and you force yourself to look up at him.
His eyes catch yours. Neither of you moves. He looks at you like heās seeing something he thought heād lost, and it makes your heart twist painfully.
āCloser,ā Aglaea calls out, voice clipped. āMydei, lean in like youāre about to say something youāve been holding back for years. _____, tilt your chin upāgive him that look, like youāre angry but imploring.ā
You do as she says, your breath hitching when his forehead dips to rest against yours. Your fingers tighten against his shoulders, and his hands shift on your waist, thumbs brushing over the fabric of your shirt like heās trying to memorise the feel of it. Those strands of hair that he always braids because he claimed it made him look āedgyā brushes against the curve of your cheek. You can feel his breath fan across your face, warm and familiar, and it hurts how natural it feels.
When you look to the side, Aglaea is frowning. āCloser,ā she says again. āI need to see that longing.ā
You donāt bother hiding your scoff, muttering under your breath, āMaybe itād be easier if he didnāt look like heād rather be doing literally anything else.ā
His eyes snap to yours, defensive. āSorry Iām not putting on enough of a show for you,ā he mutters back, just loud enough for you to hear.
āMaybe if you actually gave a damn, it wouldnāt feel like pulling teeth,ā you hiss.
He narrows his eyes, tightening his grip just a fraction, enough to make your pulse jump. āThere you fucking go again. Acting like youāre the only one who cares about this.ā
You force yourself to keep the smile plastered on your face for the camera, teeth clenched. āOh, forgive me for thinking you donāt give a shit. Itās not like you havenāt disappeared for months without a word.ā
āYou think I wanted to leave?ā
āYou didnāt exactly try to stay,ā you snap, fingers digging into his shoulders. āYou left me to deal with the fallout while you got to play the tortured artist somewhere else. And now youāre back, and youāre acting like none of it mattered.ā
āYou didnāt want me to stay,ā he says, barely more than a whisper. āYou didnāt even ask.ā
The accusation slices through you, and your grip on his shoulders loosens. āHow was I supposed to ask when you made up your mind without me?ā you fire back. āYou made it clear that I wasnāt worth staying for.ā
His expression hardens, like heās trying to cover the hurt bleeding through his anger. āThatās not fair. You never once asked how I felt about it. You just decided I didnāt care.ā
You want to scream at him for being so obliviousāfor acting like you didnāt spend weeks waiting for a call that never came. Instead, you force your lips into a tight, brittle smile. āGuess you made it pretty damn convincing when you left even though I asked you to stay.ā
Something in his eyes cracks, just for a moment, but then Aglaeaās voice cuts through.
āYes! Thatās it!ā she crows. āKeep it up. Mydei, cup her face.ā
He doesnāt move at first, just stares down at you, his breath coming out in uneven bursts. Then his hand lifts, cupping your jaw, his thumb brushing over your cheek like itās muscle memory. The way he looks at you, then, makes your throat close up.
You want to push him away, but your hands stay where they are, like theyāre glued to him. Aglaea calls out more instructions, but her voice is distantājust noise behind the thunder in your chest.
When she finally calls for a wrap, you step back, your hands falling limply to your sides. Mydeiās arms drop away from you, his face shuttered and closed off again. You donāt look at him as you turn on your heel and walk off to the break room, every muscle in your body screaming with the urge to just get away from him before you say something even worse.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: āThe Membersā Cut.ā
The screen fades out into grainy footage from an old concert: Mydei and _____ on stage, harmonising, Mydei strumming his guitar while _____ sways with the mic. The audience sways as one, flashlights held up as they move in time with the song. The video fades out.
[INT. STUDIO ā DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: PHAINON, sitting cross-legged on a couch, an easy smile on his face.]
PHAINON: Back then? Man, they were something else. Youād think they were fused at the hip with how much time they spent together. Writing songs at three in the morning, huddled over some crumpled notebook, arguing about chord progressions one second and laughing the next. I donāt think Iāve ever seen two people make something so good while simultaneously wanting to strangle each other. It was weirdly sweet.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, sitting in a green room with her legs swung over the arm of a chair.]
CASTORICE: _____ used to steal Mydeiās hoodies every time we hit a new city. Didnāt matter how hot it wasāsheād be drowning in that thing, sleeves halfway covering her hands. Mydeiād just roll his eyes and mumble something about it smelling weird when he got it back, but he never complained. Theyād go on these stupid little coffee dates whenever we had downtimeājust the two of them, sneaking off like no one would notice. We noticed. Everyone noticed.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, sitting on the floor of the green room.]
HYACINE: Honestly? Their songs were the best ones we ever wrote. Together, they just⦠clicked. It was effortless. I think the first time I heard āAfter Midnightā, I kinda wanted to throw up from how sweet it was. But you could tellāevery word, every noteāthey put their whole hearts into it. It was like they were making something for just the two of them, and the rest of us were lucky to get a piece of it.
[CUT TO: PHAINON AGAIN, still sporting that easy smile.]
PHAINON: But, yāknow, things got complicated. Like they always do. Theyāre both stubborn as hell, and neither of them knows how to sit down and talk without throwing metaphorical knives at each other. Still⦠(Laughs softly) I stand by what I said. If they screw each other and get it over with, everyoneās gonna be okay.
iv). wanna kiss his face with an uppercut.
Youāre sprawled across the hotel bed, face buried in the pillow, when your phone rings. You groan, tempted to ignore it, but the screen flashes Anaxagorasā name, and you know better than to let it go to voicemail.
You pick up and press the phone to your ear. āYeah?ā
āDonāt sound so enthusiastic,ā Anaxa deadpans. His voice is brisk, no-nonsense as always. āIām just checking in.ā
āFantastic,ā you say dryly, sitting up and running a hand through your hair. āPhotoshoot went great. Almost fought Mydei. Twice.ā
āGreat Kephale,ā he mutters, and you can imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose. āAre you two still at each otherās throats?ā
āItās kind of hard not to be when he acts like breathing the same air as me is a personal insult,ā you snap. āAglaea made us take those stupid couple shots, and he looked like he wanted to die the whole time. Itāsāā You break off, clenching your jaw. āItās annoying.ā
Anaxa grunts, unimpressed. āYouāre letting him get to you.ā
āYeah, no shit.ā
āThen stop it,ā he says, as if itās that easy. āYou donāt have to like him, but you do have to get through this. Itās one shoot and a few public appearances. Youāve handled worse.ā
āThatās the problem. Itās not supposed to be worse. Weāre supposed to be professionals, but heāsāheās making it impossible.ā
Anaxa doesnāt answer right away, but when he does, his tone is firm. āLook, if he wants to act like a child, let him. You donāt have to stoop to his level. Smile for the camera, grit your teeth if you have to, and donāt give him the satisfaction of knowing heās pissing you off.ā
You hate that heās right. āYeah. I know.ā
āYou want me to handle anything?ā
āNo,ā you say quickly, shaking your head even though he canāt see it. āIāll deal with it.ā
He doesnāt bother with goodbyes, just hangs up like always. You let your phone drop onto the bed and slump back down, staring up at the ceiling. You hate that itās still gnawing at youāthe frustration, the hurt, the way Mydeiās indifference feels like a punch to the gut every single time.
You tell yourself itās fine. You can handle it. Youāve been through worse.
A knock at the door startles you out of your thoughts. You blink, wondering if you imagined it, but then it comes againāmore impatient, this time. You groan and push yourself up, dragging your feet as you cross the room. Your muscles still ache from the photoshoot, and your mood hasnāt improved because of Anaxaās call.
You pull the door open, expecting maybe Castorice or one of the others, but itās Mydei. He leans against the doorframe, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his jaw set in that familiar way that makes you want to slam the door right in his face.
āWhat do you want?ā you snap, not even attempting to sound polite.
He glances away, gaze fixed on some spot above your shoulder. āIā Just wanted toāā
āOh, please,ā you interrupt. āLike you fucking care.ā
āDonāt start.ā
āIām starting,ā you snap back, ābecause you spent the whole fucking day making it perfectly clear that breathing the same air as me is unbearable, and now youāre playing concerned? Do you even look at yourself?ā
āMaybe I do care,ā he tells you, and you cut in again.
āYouāre the one who looked like heād rather die than put his hands on me. Trust me, I noticed.ā
āItās not thatāā He cuts himself off, jaw clenched, and steps closer. āYou donāt get it.ā
āThen explain it to me!ā you shoot back, shoving his shoulder. āYou canāt just act like a dick and expect me to read your mind. Or are you still too much of a coward to admit anything out loud?ā
That hits a nerve. His eyes flash, and he steps into your space, so close you can feel the heat coming off him. āMaybe if you didnāt act so fucking righteous all the time, I wouldnāt feel like Iām losing my mind around you,ā he spits out.
āYeah?ā you challenge, shoving him again just to get him to react. āMaybe if you didnāt keep running away every time something actually matters, we wouldnāt be stuck in this stupid cycle!ā
He grabs your wrist, yanking you even closer, and you can feel his breath on your face, warm and ragged. āIām not running.ā
āYes, you are,ā you hiss, your voice cracking despite yourself. āYou always do. You think if you act like nothing happened, itāll just go away. Well, fuck you, Mydei, because it doesnāt.ā
He looks at you like he wants to argue, but his jaw works soundlessly, and youāre so sick of itāso tired of dancing around whateverās been festering between you since the band split. Before you know it, your hands are gripping the front of his jacket, yanking him forward just as he crushes his mouth against yours.
Itās not soft or carefulānothing about it is gentle. Itās teeth and heat and frustration, like trying to punish each other for every stupid fight, every missed chance. He makes a low, frustrated noise, backing you into the room and kicking the door shut behind him.
Your hands are tangled in his hair now, and his grip on your waist is bruising, like heās terrified youāll pull away. You bite down on his lower lip, and he groans against your mouth, pressing you back until your spine meets the wall.
āYouāre an asshole,ā you mutter against his lips, barely catching your breath.
He just smirks, dragging his mouth down to your jaw, his voice rough and breathless. āYeah? Youāre not much better.ā
Your fingers tighten in his hair, and he doesnāt even try to hide the shiver that rolls through him. You hate himāyou hate him so much for making you feel like this, for pushing and pulling and never letting you breathe. But right now, with his mouth on yours and his hands on your body and heat pooling inside your stomach, the only thing you can think of is him taking you against the wall.
You barely register the way Mydei lifts you off the ground, your legs wrapping instinctively around his waist as he pins you to the wall. His mouth is hot and unrelenting against yours, like heās trying to erase every insult youāve ever thrown at him. Youāre just as ruthless, biting at his lips and tugging his hair hard enough to make him growl.
He eases you down when you moanāembarrassingly loudly, but you donāt give a fuck. His hand slides under the waistband of your jeans, and you donāt stop him. You let him tug them down, the denim sliding down your legs and pooling at your ankles. Mydei lifts you up, just so you stand on your tiptoes long enough for him to kick them aside. Every brush of his skin against yours feels like an assaultāevery touch a reminder of all the hurt, all the angerābut you donāt pull away.Ā
You hate him. You love him. You need him.
His hands slide down to your thighs, gripping tight enough to leave marks, and then he pulls back, panting, his eyes dark and wild. Youāre wet by now, enough that your underwear feels cool from where a damp spot has formed already.
āYou always have to have the last fucking word, donāt you?ā he grits out.
You scoff. āSomeoneās gotta knock you off your high horse.ā
He huffs a laugh, but itās rough. Without warning, he drops to his knees, his hands slipping under your thighs to keep you steady as he buries his face between your legs.
You gasp, one hand flying to the wall to brace yourself, the other still tangled in his hair. Mydei doesnāt waste any timeāheās ruthless, licking you through the fabric of your panties. It makes your head spin. You choke on a moan, trying to squirm, but he just tightens his grip, keeping you firmly in place.
āMydeiāā you start, but his teeth graze your inner thigh, and your words dissolve into a shuddering gasp.
āShut up,ā he mutters, yanking your underwear to the side and pressing his mouth against your folds with a fierce sort of hunger. His tongue flicks over your clit, and your head falls back against the wall, a keening sound leaving your throat.
āGod, youāre such an asshole,ā you manage to choke out, even as your thighs tremble around his head.
He laughs against you, the vibrations making you bite down on your lip to stifle a whimper. āYouāre still running your mouth,ā he taunts, giving your thigh a squeeze. āWonder if I can make you shut up.ā
He doubles down, sucking your clit between his lips and flicking his tongue in a manner that has you seeing stars. Your nails scrape against his scalp, and he just groans in response, the vibrations sending another shockwave through you. Your hips jerk forward. He grips you harder, dragging his mouth down to lick at your folds like heās starved for it.
Your fingers tighten in his hair. You canāt help the way you tug him closer, grinding against his face despite yourself. Mydei merely hums approvingly, his hands sliding under your ass to lift you higher, pressing you harder against the wall.
When his tongue dips inside your clenching hole, your knees almost give out, but he holds you steady, refusing to let you escape the overwhelming, maddening pleasure. Youāre barely breathing, trying to swallow down the sounds threatening to spill out, but when he curls his tongue just right, you canāt stop the loud, desperate moan that breaks free.
He pulls back just enough to smirk up at you, his lips slick and his eyes burning. āYou done being a brat now?ā
You glare down at him, panting and still shaking. āFuck you.ā
His smirk only widens, and before you can blink, heās pressing his mouth against you againārough, merciless, relentless. It doesnāt take long before your vision blurs and your head tips back, his name tearing from your lips as you come against his mouth.
He doesnāt stop until your thighs are trembling and your grip on his hair has gone slack, and even then, he licks you through the aftershocks like heās addicted to the taste of you. When he finally pulls back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he stands, and says, āYouāll give me one more, wonāt you?ā
Your breath comes out in shallow pants. You can barely muster the energy to glare at him, but his smirk only grows as he straightens up, dragging his hands up your sides and pushing your shirt higher until itās bunched under your arms. Youāre still too dazed to protest when he lifts it over your head, tossing it to the floor before his hands find your waist again, pulling you flush against him.
He dips down to kiss you, and you taste yourself on his lipsāsweet and dizzying all at once. Youāre still recovering from your climax, but it doesnāt matterāhe kisses you like heās making up for every second he hasnāt touched you, rough and a little desperate, his hands squeezing your hips.
His hands slide up your back, finding the clasp of your bra. You donāt even have time to catch your breath before he unhooks it and slides and straps down your arms, tossing it aside without a second thought. His mouth is back on yours in an instant, but his hands cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples in a way that makes your back arch off the wall.
You donāt even think before your fingers find the hem of his shirt, pushing it up and over his head, and he helps you get it off before crashing his mouth against yours again. Your hands roam over his bare chest, feeling the hard lines of muscle and the rapid beat of his heart under your fingertips. His skin is warm and slightly slick with sweat, and you canāt resist scraping your nails lightly down his abdomen just to feel him shiver.
He bites down on your lower lip in retaliation, and you gasp into his mouth. It earns you a low chuckle. Youāre about to shoot back with something sarcastic when his hands slide up to cup your breasts again, rolling your nipples between his fingers, and your retort dies in your throat.
āThought you were gonna give me attitude,ā he murmurs against your mouth, lips curving into a cocky grin. āGuess you can be good when you want to.ā
āShut up,ā you breathe out, but your voice comes out shaky. He laughs softly, bending down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud. Your hands fly back to his hair, fingers twisting in the strands, and he groans the tug.
Your hips buck against his, and he grinds back without hesitation, the hard line of his cock rubbing against your thigh through his jeans. You can feel just how badly he wants you; the thought sends another wave of heat flooding through your veins. You tug at his hair hard enough to make him look up at you, his lips red and swollen.
āQuit teasing,ā you pant. Mydeiās eyes flash with something dark and hungry.
He doesnāt bother replyingājust scoops you up effortlessly, wrapping your legs around his waist. His mouth is back on yours, demanding, and you feel him fumbling with his belt between your bodies. You donāt have the patience to wait, so you reach down to help him, your hands brushing against his as you yank the buckle open and shove his jeans and briefs down just enough to free his cock.
He groans in relief when your hand wraps around his cock, stroking it slowly and spreading his pre-cum across the length. He bites back a curse. His hands tighten on your thighs, and you donāt miss the way his muscles tense under your touch. You give him a little smirk, but it falters when he presses his tip against your entrance, not quite pushing in yet.
āAre you sure?ā he asks, eyes roaming over your face.
You roll your eyes, grabbing his face and pulling him down into a bruising kiss. āIf you donāt fuck me right now, I swearāā
You donāt get to finish because he thrusts into you all at once, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Your head tips back against the wall, and Mydei buries his face in the crook of your neck, groaning against your skin as he adjusts to the tight warmth of your cunt. His breath is hot and ragged, each exhale brushing against your collarbone. His fingers dig into your thighs.
āFuck,ā he rasps, voice rough and strained. His hips pull back just enough to drag his length almost completely out before he slams back in, his pace brutal from the start. The force of it makes your back scrape against the wall, and you can feel every inch of himāthick and girthy, splitting you open in a way that has your body straining towards him.
Your hands scrabble for purchase, nails leaving crescents on his shoulders as he sets a relentless rhythm, each thrust hitting deep and perfect. Youāre clinging to him, your legs tightening around his waist as he drives into you. The wet, obscene sounds of your skin against skin echo through the room, mingling with your breathless mons and his low groans.
āFuckāso tight,ā he mutters against your skin, his mouth dragging along your throat, teeth scraping and biting hard enough to leave a slight stinging in their wake. āYou feel so fucking good. Sālike you were made for me.ā
You whimper, your hips rocking against his instinctively, desperate for more. You canāt stop yourself from moaning his name shakily. It spurs him on. He grins against your neck, pressing a sloppy kiss to your pulse point before sucking a bruise into your skin.
āYeah? That good, huh?ā he taunts, his tone mocking but laced with genuine awe. One of his hands slides from your waist to cup your breast, squeezing just enough to make you gasp. His thumb grazes over your nipple, and the sensation has your back arching off the wall, pushing your chest further into his hand.
Your head is spinning, pleasure coiling tight and hot in your belly as he fucks into you hard. You can feel every ride and vein dragging against your walls, every thrust forcing sounds out of you that you didnāt even know you could make.
His mouth finds yours again; his teeth nip at your bottom lip before he slips his tongue inside. Youāre so lost in him, so overwhelmed, that it takes you a second to realise his other hand has slipped between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit and circling it with almost punishing pressure.
āFuckāā Your hands are back in his hair, tugging hard enough to make him hiss, but he doesnāt let up, the rough pads of his fingers rubbing insistently as his cock drives into you again and again. āI canātāfuck, Iāmāā
āGonna come again?ā he growls against your mouth, his pace never faltering. āYouāre gonna come all over my cock, arenāt you? Thatās it. Good girl.ā
His words make your thighs clench. Your climax comes over you without warning, tearing a strangled cry from your throat. Your walls clench around him, pulsing and fluttering as pleasure blazes through every nerve ending. You feel your thighs trembling where theyāre locked around his waist.
Mydei doesnāt slow down; he just keeps fucking you through it, each thrust coaxing another wave of sensation that leaves you gasping and boneless in his grip. Your mind is a haze, barely able to process how good it feels to be taken like this. Youāre dimly aware of his breathing getting rougher, his hips stuttering as your body milks him.
You drag his face back to yours, capturing his lips in a desperate, messy kiss, biting until you taste copper. He groans into you. You feel him shudder just before his rhythm falters. With one last, deep snap of his hips, he buries his cock inside you, spilling hot and thick as his body shakes with the force of his release.
His forehead presses against yours as he catches his breath, both of you panting and trembling. He stays inside you, like heās not quite ready to let you go, his hands sliding up your sides to hold you close. Youāre still reeling, your pulse racing, but you manage a small, satisfied smile, brushing your lips over his with a gentleness that almost feels out of place after what just happened.
For a long moment, neither of you moveāyou just breathe each other in, letting the remnants of pleasure tangle in the space between you. Finally, he pulls back enough to meet your gaze, his thumb brushing over your swollen lower lip.
āStill think Iām running my mouth?ā you whisper, still trying to muster some semblance of defiance.
Mydei simply nudges his nose against yours. āMaybe,ā he says, a little bit hoarse, ābut at least I finally shut you up.ā
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: āChrysos Heirs: The Reunion Tour ā Behind the Music. Episode Two.ā
[INT. STUDIO ā DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, sitting on a stool.]
CASTORICE: You want to know about the relationships? (Grins) Oh, man. Itās like a dysfunctional family reunion. Some of us slipped right back into old habits, and some of us⦠well, itās complicated. Mydei and _____? (Snorts) Donāt even get me started. You can feel the tension from three rooms away.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, sitting cross-legged on the floor.]
HYACINE: Thereās definitely still some⦠uh, unresolved stuff. We used to be so tight. All of us. I mean, we fought, sure, but weād always make up eventually. Now? I donāt know. Itās like everyoneās got their guard up. Phainonās doing his best to keep things light, Castorice just barrels through any tension like she doesnāt notice, but Mydei and _____⦠(Pauses) Itās like walking on eggshells around them.
[CUT TO: PHAINON, leaning back against the wall with his guitar across his lap.]
PHAINON: I think everyone kind of forgot how to be around each other. We spent years being everything to one anotherāfriends, family, bandmates, rivals. When the band split, it wasnāt just the music that fell apart. It was us. Now itās like⦠weāre all trying to figure out where we stand again. The way Castorice and Hyacine laugh like nothingās changed, while Mydei and _____ act like theyāre on opposite sides of a war zone. Itās exhausting.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, still slouched on a couch with his arms crossed.]
MYDEI: Iām not gonna sit here and pretend everythingās fine. Itās not. The band breaking up after I left? Iām sure that wasnāt just some decision they made over drinks. Castorice acts like weāre one big happy family again, but she knows itās not that simple. Phainonās always the peacemaker, trying to smooth everything over, but that just makes it worse sometimes. I donāt know.
[CUT TO: YOU, sitting on a folding chair.]
YOU: Itās frustrating. We used to be so close. All of us. And now it feels like every word has teeth. Castorice is trying so hard to keep us from falling apart again, and Hyacineās just⦠tired. Phainonās stuck playing mediator, and Mydeiā(shakes head)āhe still looks at me like itās probably my fault. Maybe it is. But it wasnāt just me who made it boil down to this.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE AGAIN, balancing her drumsticks on her finger.]
CASTORICE: Weāve always been a mess. Thatās kind of our thing. But it used to be that we were messy together. Now it feels like weāre just trying not to accidentally set each other off. I miss how easy it used to be. Back when Mydei and _____ could actually talk without biting each otherās heads off. Back when Hyacine would just crack a joke instead of staying quiet.
[CUT TO: HYACINE AGAIN, resting her chin on her hand.]
HYACINE: Sometimes it feels like weāre playing pretend. Like weāre trying to convince ourselves that weāre still friends when weāre really just⦠people who used to know each other. Cas keeps pushing for us to hang out after shows, but it never feels right. Everyoneās just waiting for someone to break the silence. I donāt know. Maybe itāll get better once weāve been on the road for longer.
[CUT TO: PHAINON AGAIN, eyes thoughtful as he fiddles with his guitar strap.]
PHAINON: I think everyoneās just afraid to be the one who cares the most. Back in the day, we knew each other better than anyone else did. Now, itās like weāre scared of stepping on each otherās wounds. Mydeiās carrying too much pride to apologise, and _____ is too stubborn to forgive. Castorice and Hyacine just want everyone to get alone, but no oneās talking about the elephant in the room. Weāre good at pretending on stage, though. Real good.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, his jaw clenched, his eyes hard.]
MYDEI: You donāt just come back from something like that. You donāt go from being everything to each other to nothing without it leaving a scar. Iām not saying itās all her fault. (Hesitates) Iām just saying that itās easier to be mad than to admit I mightāve messed up, too. Thatās why I keep my distance. Itās just⦠easier that way.
[CUT TO: YOU, looking almost weary.]
YOU: I never thought it would feel this hollow. I donāt know what I expectedāa clean slate, maybe? But it doesnāt work like that. Weāre still carrying the past with us, and itās dragging us down. I guess⦠I just wish heād talk to me. Even if itās to say he hates me. At least that would be something.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, shrugging with a half-smile.]
CASTORICE: Whatever happens, Iām not giving up. Weāre stuck with each other. Thatās just how it is. Even if we have to scream it out or throw things at each other, weāre gonna make it work. Because the way they look at each other sometimes? Thereās still something there. They just gotta get over themselves long enough to see it.
[CUT TO: PHAINON, adjusting his guitar.]
PHAINON: Theyāll figure it out. Weāre not just a bandāweāre more than that. And sometimes, being more means we break and put ourselves back together. Weāll get there.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, giving a faint smile.]
HYACINE: If we can just stop letting the past dictate everything, maybe we can start being friends again. Maybe more. I donāt know. But I do know thisāon stage, weāre still the same. Maybe the music will help us remember how to be us again.
v). so i write him all these letters and i throw them in the trash.
When you stir in your sleep, the mattress beside you is cold.Ā
Itās lateāpast midnight, probably. Your stomach grumbles; you sit up and shuffle tiredly over to the mini-bar and grab a bag of salted cashew nuts, tearing it open. Thereās no trace of Mydei. Itās as if he was never here, didnāt fuck you against the wall like it was all he could think of, didnāt lay down on the bed next to you and curl a strong arm around your waist.
You wish you could say you were just disappointed. The truth is, you had expected nothing else, but disappointment still curls around your ribs.
Itās stupid. You walk over to the glass table placed in front of the plush armchair towards the side of your bed. Thereās a notepad and a slightly blunt pencil placed on top of it. You sink into the armchair, popping a handful of cashew nuts into your mouth and chewing.Ā
The words should be flowing by nowāanger and frustration always make for good materialābut tonight, theyāre stuck somewhere between your ribs, buried under the feeling of his mouth on your skin.
It shouldnāt feel like this. You knew what you were getting into. You knew better than to expect anything else from him. But the way he kissed you, like he was trying to make you forget every fightāmade your chest ache. Youāre not surprised that heās gone. Youāre not even hurt, really. Just angry. Angry at him for leaving without a word, angry at yourself for caring that he did. You shove a few more cashews into your mouth and wipe your fingers on your sweatpants before picking up the pencil.
Your hand moves almost without thinking, words scrawling across the page faster than you can catch up with them.
You look at me like Iām your only song,
And I play the part even when it feels wrong.
Weāre always dancing on the edge of a goodbye,
But Iād risk the fall just to feel you by my side.
You pause, glaring at the lyrics. You should throw the notepad across the room, rip the page out, crush it in your fist. Instead, you just sit there, tapping the pencil against your knee. You can still feel the way his mouth moved against yours, the bruising grip of his hands on your hips. You take a shaky breath and force yourself to keep writing. Itās better than sitting here drowning in the memory of him.
Weāre tangled and twisted and never the same,
We love like it hurts and kiss through the pain.
Youāre poison and honey and everything wrong,
And I hate that youāre still the one I want.
The pencil scrapes harshly against the paper as you press harder than you mean to. The words taste bitter in your mouth, but at least theyāre honest. Maybe thatās why itās so hard to write them downābecause admitting that you want more than just his hands on you feels like exposing a wound youāve been pretending doesnāt exist.
You swallow down the knot in your throat and lean back, squeezing your eyes shut. It would almost be easier if you hated him. If you could just shove him out of your head and pretend he was nothing more than a bad decision. But itās not that simple. You donāt just want him; you want the old him, the one who used to light up when you walked into the room, who teased you until you were laughing so hard you couldnāt breathe. You want the Mydei who didnāt always look at you like youāre a problem he canāt fix.
You know youāre being unfair. Heās not the only one whoās changed. Youāre not the same eitherātoo guarded, too tired. Sometimes you wonder if youāre just setting yourself up for disappointment because itās easier than admitting you still love him.
Your chest aches, and the next words come almost like a confession.
You look at me like Iām the one youāve been missing,
Kiss me like Iām the dream you keep wishing
Would come true when the lights fade awayā
But you never stay.
You finish the verse and set the pencil down, pressing your fingertips to your lips like you can still taste him there.
You told yourself you wouldnāt do this again. But he looked at you tonight like he was starvingālike you were something he couldnāt resist. And you let him have you because a part of you needed it, too. Needed to feel wanted, even if it was just for a few hours. Even if he was gone before you woke up.
You shove the notepad away, letting it fall to the floor as you curl up in the armchair, knees pulled to your chest. The song lingers in your head, the lyrics clawing at your heart. You feel ridiculous for letting him get under your skin like this, like a bruise that wonāt heal.
The truth is, youād let him hurt you a thousand times if it meant heād look at you like that again. Like youāre the only thing keeping him alive. Maybe that makes you a fool, but you donāt know how to be anything else when it comes to him.
Shaking your head as though to dissolve it of its thoughts, you tear out the sheet of paper with your lyrics on it, fold it into a square hastily, and shove it inside the pocket of your sweatpants. You stand up and grab your lighter from your bag. You need a smoke.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: āThe Foundersā Cut.ā
[INT. STUDIO ā DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: YOU, sitting on a simple black stool, hands loosely clasped in your lap.]
YOU: Writing with Mydei⦠God, it used to be so easy. We didnāt have to think about it. (Smiles softly) Weād just be sitting on the floor of his shitty apartmentābarely any furniture, just the couch his neighbour was gonna throw out and that one rug we stole from Hyacineās place. One of us would pick up the guitar, start playing something, and it was like everything else just faded out.
INTERVIEWER (off-screen): Was it always that natural?
YOU: (Nods) Yeah. It just worked. Sometimes we didnāt even talk before starting a song. Iād be on the floor, writing down whatever came to mind, and heād be next to me, leaning against the wall with his guitar. Sometimes Iād hum something, and heād justāpick it up. It was like we were reading each otherās minds.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, sitting with his back slightly hunched, elbows on his knees.]
MYDEI: We wrote some of our best songs at 3 A.M, dead tired, arguing about lyrics while eating instant ramen. Sheād always overthink the wordsāhad to make sure they said exactly what she wanted. I didnāt care as much. I guess I figured the feeling mattered more than getting every word right.
INTERVIEWER: Do you have an example for the same?
MYDEI: There was this one song (pauses, shakes his head). We wrote it after this stupid fight. Iād stormed out, pissed as hell, but when I came back, she was sitting on the floor, scribbling lyrics like her life depended on it. I didnāt say anything. Just sat down and played along with whatever she was humming. Neither of us apologised, but⦠I guess that was our way of making up.
[CUT TO: YOU]
YOU: We never talked about it, you know? Weād write all these songs that were practically confessionsāabout each other, about how much it hurt when we fought, or how we couldnāt stand being apartāand then weād just⦠move on. Never acknowledged it.
INTERVIEWER: Do you regret that?
YOU: (Hesitates) Sometimes. But the songs made it pretty obvious. We were practically begging each other to figure it out without actually saying it.
[CUT TO: MYDEI]
MYDEI: She always wrote like it was her way of⦠bleeding out whatever she couldnāt say. We made something good out of it, though. Even if we never said it out loud. And⦠yeah. Sometimes I miss that. The simplicity of it. Just us and a guitar and whatever shit we were working through. I didnāt need anything else back then.
[CUT TO: YOU]
YOU: Itās funny. We used to write about heartbreak like it was this distant conceptāsomething that happened to other people. Never thought weād end up writing about each other.
vi). i want to get him back (and then?)
The rooftop is quiet at this hourātoo early for most and too late for the rest. The sky is more navy than blue, more shadow than light. You push the heavy metal door open with your shoulder, and it clicks shut behind you with a soft thud. You tug your hoodie tighter around you, retreating into the warmth, and dig around in your pocket for your cigarettes.
The lighter sparks on the second try. You inhale. Smoke fills your lungs, and something in you loosens. You hate how easy it still is to find comfort in bad habits.
Thatās when you notice him.
At first, itās just the faint glow of a cigarette at the far corner of the rooftop. But you know itās himāknow it in the shape of his silhouette, the way he leans forward with one elbow braced on the ledge, hoodie pulled low over his face. Mydei. Of course.
You hesitate for a beat, frozen halfway between the door and where he stands. It would be easier to leaveāpretend you didnāt see him, pretend you didnāt spend the night tangled up in him and then wake up to cold sheets and silence.
But you donāt.
Your steps are quiet as you cross the rooftop, stopping a few feet away from him. He doesnāt look at you, just exhales slowly, eyes on the horizon. You take a drag from your cigarette, watching the tip burn orange, watching the smoke curl upwards and vanish into the sky.
āWhyād you leave?ā you ask. You mean the hotel room, but not only that.
Heās quiet for a long time. You wonder if heās even going to answer.
āI didnāt want to wake you,ā he says eventually, still not looking at you.
You huff a breath. Itās not quite a laugh. āYou didnāt want to be there.ā
He doesnāt argue. The silence stretches again, but itās not uncomfortable. Just tired. He glances at you. The wind picks up a little, brushing your hair across your cheek. He noticesāalways noticesāand shifts just slightly so heās blocking the breeze. Neither of you says anything about it.
āYou looked peaceful,ā Mydei says. āI didnāt want to mess it up.ā
āYou think not being there was better?ā
āI didnāt know what to say.ā
You nod. You donāt push. Youāve learned not to with him. āItās not just about tonight,ā you say quietly.
He nods, eyes dark and shadowed. āI know.ā
The sun starts to edge over the horizon, painting faint streaks of pink and orange across the navy sky. Itās beautiful in that fragile, fleeting way, like something youāre scared to touch because you know itās too delicate to last. You both watch in silence for a while, letting the smoke and the light fill the air between you. Thereās a comfort in it, strangely enough. The way the world keeps turning even when your heart feels like itās stuck. The way mornings come anyway.
You look at Mydei again.
Heās tired. You can see it in the curve of his mouth, in the slump of his shoulders. But heās here. Part of you wants to ask him why. Why he came up here. Why he didnāt leave the hotel entirely. Why he lets himself touch you but wonāt let himself stay. Instead, you say nothing.
He offers you his lighter when yours gives out, and your fingers brush when you take it. Itās a brief touch, barely there, but itās enough to make your chest ache in that too-familiar way.
You smoke the rest of your cigarettes side by side, not speaking, not needing to. Itās the kind of silence that used to exist between songs in the studio. When you stub the last bit out on the ledge, you take one last look at the sunrise. The light catches on his face now, gold and soft, and you want to say something. You donāt even know what.
So instead, you pull your hoodie tighter and nod. āI should go.ā
He nods too, but he doesnāt move. Doesnāt stop you either.
You turn back towards the door, and as you do, a folded piece of paper slips from your pocket. You donāt notice it fall, fluttering once before landing gently near his feet. You donāt notice it, because youāre too busy disappearing back into the stairwell, too wrapped up in keeping your shoulders straight and your breathing steady.
He doesnāt move for a while after youāre gone.
Then, slowly, Mydei leans down and picks up the paper. The handwriting is unmistakableāyour quick, slanted script, a few smudges where the pencil dragged.
He reads it once. Twice.
Then he folds it back up, holds it in his hand like it might crumble, and watches the sun break over the city, alone.
The lights shift from the vibrant spotlights of the previous set into something softer, slowerādimmed gold and dusky purple spreading like ink over the stage. Your mic is cold under your fingers. You roll the cord absently through your hand. You canāt see much beyond the footlights; only the sea of shadows, the faint outlines of swaying arms and cell phone lights blinking like stars.
But Mydeiās there, across from you. This next song is just you and him, after all.
Heās adjusting the strap of his guitar, head bowed, eyes hidden beneath the fall of his hair.
Itās the same stage. The same lights. The same song. Why does it feel so different?
The crowd doesnāt know what theyāre about to hear. Most of them donāt even know the song, youāre pretty sure. Itās some B-side from one of your earlier albums. You remember when you wrote it. The quiet of three in the morning, the late-night arguments that bled into music, the unraveling of two people who couldnāt speak to each other unless it was in chords and half-rhymed lines.
Here you are again. Older. Worse at pretending.
The intro begins with gentle chords, the kind that hurt more than they soothe. Your mic is already at your lips. You inhale like itās your first breath of the night.
āI told myself I wouldnāt care this time,
Said your name like it didnāt still taste like goodbye.
But you look at me like you never learned how to let goā¦ā
Your voice holds, though it feels like walking a tightrope. Every word comes out measured, like if you let it slip, your heart will come out tumbling too. You donāt look at him, not yet. You can feel his presenceālike gravityābut you donāt turn your head.
Not until he sings. Then, you do. He meets your gaze.
āI said we were fire meant to burn out fast,
But I keep finding you in every song Iāve written last.
You donāt ask me to stay, and I donāt ask you to tryā¦
But weāre still standing here, pretending weāre fine.ā
His voiceāGod, his voice. Itās rougher than it used to be, edges carved by years and distance, but it still wraps around your lyrics like it was always meant to. Heās not just singing. Heās looking at you like heās saying every word for the first time. It knocks the air from your lungs.
Your heartās pounding now, and you hate that it still reacts to him like this. Like your body remembers the way he used to hold you when no one else was watching.Ā
The chorus crashes over both of you.
āSo lie to me, baby, say itās still love,
Say the ending never mattered, that this beginningās enough.
We were smoke, we were stars, we were doomed from the start,
But tonight, just tonight, sing like you still mean every part.ā
Mydei steps closer. You do, too. Itās instinct, not plan. You donāt even realise it until youāre nearly toe-to-toe, voices tangling into harmony, eyes locked.
You wonder if the crowd can feel it. If they can hear the way your throat tightens, how the vowels tremble when he looks at you like that. Like heās trying to remember the shape of youānot just your face, but your soul. The bridge comes. You always dreaded it.
āMaybe weāll break like we always do,
Maybe weāll forget this in the morning too.
But for nowāGod, for nowā
You still feel like a home I never knew.ā
The line lands like a punch to the chest. Yours, and maybe his too.
You let it ring out, raw and full. For a second, it feels like the two of you are back in that tiny studio years agoābarefoot, angry, tired, in love. Writing a song you were both too scared to mean. But you meant it. You always did, and you do now.
The last chorus is quieter, a lullaby instead of a plea.
āAnd Iād sing this with you a thousand times⦠if youād let me.ā
You drop your hand from the mic, breath catching in your throat, and for a momentājust a momentāthereās silence. Just you and Mydei.
He doesnāt move. Heās staring at you with something unspoken lodged in his eyes, something that looks too close to regret.
You turn away first. Your heartās already too full. One more second and it might burst.
The crowd roars behind you, applause crashing in waves.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: āThe Membersā Cut.ā
[INT. STUDIO ā DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, lounging back on the couch.]
CASTORICE: It was just a fact. Mydei and _____. You didnāt say one name without the other. (Shakes her head) And the way they used to look at each other on stage? Insane. Like, weād be in the middle of a song, and Iād be watching them instead of playing because damn. The rest of us couldāve vanished into thin air, and they wouldnāt have noticed.
(Laughs lightly, rolling her eyes.)
CASTORICE (CONTāD): It was kinda funny, actually. Like, okay, we get it, youāre in love. Can we get through the set without you two making heart eyes at each other? (Pause) But, yāknow⦠it was also kinda nice. Seeing people that in sync. That kind of connection isnāt something you fake.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, sitting cross-legged on the floor, bass resting on her lap.]
HYACINE: They were disgusting. I mean that in the nicest way possible. (Grinning) Like, youād be tuning your guitar, and theyād just be standing off to the side, whispering to each other like they werenāt literally about to perform in front of thousands of people. And yeah, sure, couples sing duets all the time, but with them? It was different. Like they were letting us in on something private, something meant just for them. Even if it was a song theyād performed a hundred times before, it always felt like they were saying something new.
(Chuckles, eyes soft with nostalgia.)
HYACINE (CONTāD): They made you believe in that kind of love, yāknow? The all-consuming, this-song-is-about-you kind of love. You couldnāt want them and not feel it.
[CUT TO: PHAINON, sitting with his arms draped over the back of the chair, smirking lightly.]
PHAINON: Yeah, they were that couple. The ones who made you roll your eyes but also kind of wish you had what they had. Like, I remember this one showāMydei had just finished this crazy guitar solo, and instead of, I donāt know, reveling in the applause like a normal person, he immediately turned to _____ like she was the only one whose reaction mattered. And she just grinned at him, and I swear to God, he looked like he won the lottery.
(Shakes his head and scoffs.)
PHAINON (CONTāD): They were reckless with it. Loud about it. No hesitation, no holding back. They didnāt just love each other, they showed it. And thatās rare. You donāt get that kind of honesty on stage very often.
(His smirk fades just slightly.)
PHAINON (CONTāD): Ā ā¦Thatās why it was so hard when it ended.
vii). ācause i miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh.
The crowd is louder tonight. Not louder in volume, necessarily, but just⦠like theyāre expecting something. Like they know something you donāt.
You glance at the setlist as someone does your in-ear check. Your duet with Mydei is coming up nextāthe same one youāve done every night for years. Itās not your most popular song, but itās yours. It always has been. Something about it felt safe even now, when everything else between you and him was held together with duct tape and willpower.
You take a sip of water and step towards the side of the stage, waiting for the intro cues.
But when you hear the first notes, theyāre not yours.
Your stomach drops. The chord progression is soft, a little unfamiliar. Itās not one of your tracks, or a part of the agreed setlist.
Your gaze snapes to the center of the stage where Mydei standsāguitar in hand, face calm. Heās adjusted his mic, and heās⦠smiling? Not a grin. Nothing cocky. Just this small, quiet thing, like heās doing something that matters to him more than heās ready to admit.
āThis oneās not on the list,ā he says into the mic, casual, like this doesnāt upend everything. āI wanted to try something new tonight.ā
Your brow furrows. You step a little closer, careful not to draw a scene. Castorice gives you a sharp look from behind her kit, like, Did you know about this? You shake your head once.Ā
Mydei starts to sing.
āYou look at me like Iām your only song,
And I play the part even when it feels wrong.ā
It hits you like a punch to the ribs.
That lyric. That exact line. You know it because you wrote it, alone. In that hotel room weeks ago, scrawled in a burst of emotion you werenāt proud of, folded up and shoved into the pocket of your sweatpants. Youād thought it got tossed in the wash or lost somewhere in the shuffle between cities.
Apparently not. Apparently he found it. And instead of asking youālike a normal person wouldāhe set it to music. He built a melody around your bleeding heart and decided to sing it to a crowd of thousands.
āWeāre tangled and twisted and never the same,
We love like it hurts and kiss through the pain.
Youāre poison and honey and everything wrong,
And I hate that youāre still the one I want.ā
Itās a beautiful melody, and you feel something inside your chest twist, hard. He sings softly but unsteadily, like he wasnāt sure that youād hear itāor worse, that you would.
He doesnāt look at you while he sings. He scans the crowd, eyes on the horizon. But the meaning is clear. You can feel it in the tightness in your chest, in the hush thatās fallen over the audience, like they know this isnāt just a love song.
You fold your arms over your chest, more for grounding than anything. Castorice doesnāt play a beat. Hyacine and Phainon watch silently, hands loose on their instruments like theyāre ready to jump in if needed, but they donāt. Neither of you do.
This is his moment, and your words.
āYou look at me like Iām the one youāve been missing,
Kiss me like Iām the dream you keep wishing
Would come true when the lights fade awayā
But you never stay.ā
You exhale shakily. You feel exposed, as if youāre standing naked in front of an entire arena. The words werenāt just lyricsāthey were confessions. Grudges. Regrets. Things you never had the guts to say out loud. And here Mydei is, saying them for you.
No. Singing them.
Your fingers curl into your palms. You donāt know whether to be furious or deeply, deeply moved.Ā
He finishes the song in a whisper, almost. The last chord rings out like an unanswered question. The audience is silent for a beat too long. Then they eruptāwhistling, cheering, screaming. Itās a standing ovation for something they didnāt even know was a story.
And still, Mydei hasnāt looked at youāuntil now.
He turns, finally, just a little, and meets your eyes across the stage. You donāt smile. You donāt clap. You just stare at him, speechless and conflicted.
Then, Mydei steps back from the mic and gives the signal to move on with the set. You turn your face away before the next lights come up, blinking hard. Your heartās racing. You donāt know what happens after this; what this means; what youāre supposed to say.
You only know one thing: That song was yours, and now, itās his, too.
The hallway outside the dressing rooms is buzzingācrew rushing around, the muffled roar of the crowd still seeping through the walls, someone shouting about cords and lights and encores. But all you can hear is the blood in your ears and your name echoing in Mydeiās voice as he sang your lyrics.
His voice, but your words. Your heart on a scrap of paper you never meant for anyone else to see.
Your footsteps are harsh against the floor as you turn the corner and push the door open. The dressing room is too bright, too sterile compared to the intimacy of the stage. Mydei stands with his back to you, shirt clinging to his skin with sweat, hair pushed off his forehead like he ran his fingers through it too many times.
You close the door behind you with a click. Quiet, but final. He hears it.
āHey,ā he says, not turning around yet.
You stare at the back of his head. āDonāt do that to me.ā
Mydei pauses. Slowly, he turns to face you. āI figured youād be mad.ā
āMad?ā You laugh, breath catching somewhere in your throat. āYou think Iām mad?ā
āYou look mad.ā
āI am mad,ā you snap, taking a step closer, heart pounding. āYou sang a song you werenāt supposed to have. You didnāt even ask me, Mydei. You justājust stood there and threw it at me in front of ten thousand people like it meant nothing.ā
āIt didnāt mean nothing,ā he says. āThatās why I sang it.ā
Youāre both quiet. The silence stretches and tightens until itās almost unbearable.
āYou couldāve told me,ā you say finally, voice hoarse. āYou couldāve talked to me. About the song. About anything. But you donāt. You never do.ā
Mydei exhales slowly, resting his hands on his hips like heās bracing himself. āI didnāt know how.ā
You tilt your head, lips parting in disbelief. āThatās such bullshit, Mydei. We wrote songs together. We told each other everything through music. And now youāre justāstanding there, acting like itās some impossible thing.ā
He looks at you, then. Really looks. And for a moment, heās not the cold, distant version of himself heās been for months. Heās just him. The boy who used to fall asleep beside you in the tour van. The one who hummed half-finished melodies in your ear at midnight in whatever motel you were crashing in. The one who used to kiss you like the world might end before morning.
āI didnāt know how to say I missed you,ā he admits. āSo I used your words instead. Because mine never come out right.ā
You donāt want to forgive him. You really donāt.
But the hurt in his voice is real. So is the way heās looking at youālike youāve always been the only person in the room, and heās just been waiting to see you again for real.
You take one shaky step forward. Then another.
When your lips crash into his, it isnāt careful or slow. Itās everything youāve been holding back: Rage, longing, grief, hope. His hands find your face, yours grip his shirt, and everything around you blurs until itās just him, just the warmth of his mouth and the softness of his sighs and the undeniable truth that this still feels like home.
You part, breathless.
Neither of you speaks at first. Youāre still close enough to feel his breath on your cheek, the heat of his skin under your fingertips.Ā
Your voice comes out quieter than you intend when you tell him, āI want to get you back.ā
Mydei doesnāt hesitate. āYou already have.ā
It hits you harder than the kiss did. Something cracks inside youāsomething small and soft and long-buried. You almost donāt realise youāre crying until he wipes your cheek with the back of his hand.
You let out a breath, something between a laugh and a sob. āIām still mad at you.ā
āI know.ā His thumb traces the edge of your jaw. āYouāre allowed to be.ā
You step back first, gently. He lets you go, but his eyes follow you like heās afraid youāll vanish if he blinks.
As you adjust your jacket and run a hand through your hair, something slips from your pocketāfolded paper, creased from being handled too many times. You donāt notice, but Mydei does.
He kneels to pick it up after youāre gone, quietly unfolding it to find another unfinished song. Lyrics in your handwriting. His name, half-crossed out and rewritten three times.
He reads the first line. Smiles.
He doesnāt hand it back to you. He tucks it into his jacket, like he already knows how it ends.
[CUT TO BLACK]
Text appears on screen: āChrysos Heirs: The Reunion Tour. THE END.ā
⢠a/n: as per usual, thank you to @lotusteabag for being my #1 cheerleader and supporter throughout the entire time i was writing this fic. thank you for reading & i hope you have a wonderful day!
imagine him holding your baby cousins or nieces and nephews and they all call him kuya hajimeā¦yeahā¦thatās good shit
always blesses
will dance cariƱosa and sayaw sa bangko with you even if heās bad at it (super excited on the inside. will have a heart attack every other second thoughā¦are his hands sweaty? is he smiling too much? is he not smiling enough? did he lift you too strongly? what if you fall off the bench?)
(he was worried about the wrong person falling off the bench. while he was thinking about this, he missed his footing and fell on his butt.) (heās fine)
youāll see him in his pambahay one way or another. ratty ass t-shirt or sando with basketball shorts and tsinelas that he flips up from his foot to catch and point at tooru for dramatics
legs of steel. definitely has those calves and thighsā¦sigh š
doesnāt really like eating whole fishā¦he likes the fish, donāt get him wrong, itās just the process of removing the meat from the bone and all. but if you donāt know how to/like taking the meat off the bone, heāll do it for you. likes the crunchies so if you like the belly or head meat you guys are perfect
before a party, the two of you are probably in a corner of the kitchen rolling lumpia and/or turon. heās really good at folding the rice paper
walis warrior! if you donāt like sweeping, heās the man for you
he DEFINITELY smells like katinko in the summer. barely has to put it on cuz he rarely gets bitten but never likes the feeling of even one itchy bite. drown that hoe in menthol!!
awkward pictures alllll the time. he can walk near a sign that says california or something and his mom will make him stand and smile in front of it
his mom also told her friends hajime plays volleyball and then told him to play volleyball for them. āmom itās notā huh?? i canāt play FOR them, itās not performative!ā
it might be a little annoying sometimes when he comes off as unnecessarily mean or overprotective when he tells you (in a harsh voice) to move away from the road or lock your car doors but he just cares and doesnāt know how to show it
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thereās a strange kind of tautness that pulls at GEPARDās shoulders. itās heavy, almost like a ton of bricks pressing down against his skin, suffocating him, but not quiteāitās more subtle, more dull. somehow that only makes him feel more uneasy. he swallows all of it down, tries his best to get rid of the feeling. itās the only thing he knows how to do. he reaches out to knock at your door. his movements are stiff. the thud of the wood is hollow. the weight on his shoulders only grows stronger as he waits for something and everything at the same time. finally he hears a faint sound.
his first instinct is self-preservation. his hand thoughtlessly moves to grip his weapon, before loosening its grip. perhaps his paranoia is entirely unjustified, irrational even. especially when the door opens to reveal you. the smile you give him is bright, and genuine, and gepard almost thinks itās misplaced. kindness was dangerous in such an unpredictable world.
still he wonders why his heart feels just a little bit warmer, why he tries his best to return your smile even though every part of him argues against it. it was such a meager, trivial action, and yet deep down heās not dense enough to overlook its significance. he canāt help but allow his hopes to soar just for a fleeting moment, glancing at the rosy version of reality those hopes offered. but then something seems to change. your smile disappears, and your brows furrow with palpable concern, and youāre opening your mouthā
ādo you mind if i come in?ā
the words spill from gepardās lips instead. theyāre messily strung together, accentuated with a slight tremble in his voice, and he hopes that he doesnāt come across as desperate. the sound of the wind drifting by suddenly seems all too loud. he has to stop himself from drumming his fingers against his thigh like an anxious child.
finally, you give him another smile. but this oneās differentāitās delicate, tender, yet almost perceptive, as if you know just how overwhelmed heās felt recently. there was just so much to worry about, so much to do, all in so little time. that and the fact that sometimes, on the darkest and coldest of nights, after heās finished cleaning up his wounds, he had to question whether each day would be the last. gepard watches, almost in slow motion, as you reach out, your fingers ever so gently intertwining with his. and, truly, he canāt remember a time when he was treated like thisālike he was delicate. normally he likely would have taken offense, would have reprimanded you in the unforgiving tone he uses with everyone else. it was blasphemy to treat the captain of the silvermane guards with such tenderness. or at least, it should have been.
but gepard doesnāt care. he lets his fingers wrap around yours, lets himself be pulled into the warmth of your home. outside, through the crack in your window, he can still hear the sound of the wind passing by. itās like a quiet song, humming softly, offering solace as the night sky surrounds the city of belobog.
authorās note: this was written out of sheer impulse but iām proud of it. title is based off the song āwhere we goā by p!nk. hope u guys liked this <3
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hello!! :) new follower here bc i literally just discovered your blog a few seconds ago š„“ i saw that your 100 followers event was closing today (congrats btw! š«¶) so i wanted to see if i could slide in a last minute requestāchocolate & karaoke!! tysm if you do this
VACATION (FT. MIYA OSAMU)
chocolate ā miya osamu
karaoke ā vacation
synopsis: the beauty of summers and vacations with miya osamu. post-timeskip, pre-established relationship, fluff
word count: 1280
they say falling in love is like falling asleep. it happens slowly, then all at once.
they also say summers are magical. thereās something about the wind in your hair, the light on your face, a cold treat in hand and an ethereal sunset that hits different. when you were little, summer was special because you didnāt have school the entire month of august. now, summer is special because thatās when you met miya osamu.
the first time you see him, heās tearing through the park as fast as he can, another guy who looks just like him running next to him. you donāt see him; youāre off in your own little world, only jerked back to reality when he slams into you. you yelp in surprise as youāre knocked down.
he slows to a stop and whirls around, eyes wide. āshit, iām sorry,ā he mutters, clumsily helping you up. āyou okay?ā
āyeah,ā you say breathlessly, the wind having been knocked out of you. you try for a joke. āwhy are you running so fast? escaping the cops?ā
he blinks in surprise, then laughs. itās a beautiful sound, you notice, as he reaches up to brush his sweaty hair out of his face. ānah, just my annoying brother. weāre practicing for volleyball. didnāt make it as far as we wanted to last year at nationals, but weāre going all the way this year.ā
you wish him good luck. if he regularly goes to nationals, he must be pretty darn good, you think. you turn around to leave.
āwait!ā he calls you back. ādāyou think i could get your number? let me apologize properly by taking you out sometime.ā
you blush heavily as you put your number into his phone. he flashes you a grin and thanks you earnestly, before taking off again--heās long been left in the dust by his brother by this point. true to his word, he takes you out on a picnic date a couple of days later; he brings homemade onigiri, which is the best thing youāve ever tasted, and you sit in the park for hours and just talk.
that was years ago. you were in high school when you met, young and carefree. now youāve recently graduated college and are trying to balance your hectic work life with your personal life with osamu. given his talent at cooking, itās no wonder he opened his own restaurant. times have been tough, for sure, especially when he was just starting up, but youāve stuck together through thick and thin. youāll make it through this rough patch in your life, too. you know it. sometimes it just doesnāt feel that way.
he notices youāre stressed, and--bless him--he does everything he can to take things off your plate. you come home and thereās always a hot, delicious meal waiting for you. he gives you back massages and always makes sure youāre tucked into bed nicely. but recently youāve been feeling stuck, cooped up in your house and your office.
āitās almost summer,ā osamu says one night when youāre laying in bed together. āletās go somewhere.ā
āgo somewhere?ā you frown. āwhere?ā
āanywhere. even if itās just for a weekend. just to get away. think we could both use it.ā
you donāt argue with that. you could get some time off at your workplace, and osamu was free to leave his restaurant in his employeesā hands whenever he felt comfortable. āletās go to a beach,ā you mumble into his shoulder. āsomewhere we can smell the ocean and see the sunset. we can have a picnic and you can make your onigiri. we used to do that all the time back in high school.ā
āyeah, high school. . .ā osamu murmurs. he doesnāt speak again, and soon soft snores fill the room. you close your eyes and fall asleep not long after.
a couple weeks later, you set out your picnic blanket on the sand of takeno coast, in toyooka. it wasnāt far--also in hyÅgo prefecture--and youād heard great things about it, so you had decided to go for a weekend getaway together.
as the sun starts to set, spreading a brilliant pink and orange glow over the world, osamu opens up the container of homemade onigiri he had brought. he hands you one and takes one for himself. you take a bite and lean against him, melting into his body. he wraps his arms around you as you curl up together, quietly enjoying each otherās company.
āāsamu?ā you whisper. he hums in response. ādo you ever miss high school?ā
āhigh school?ā he frowns, tilting his head. āsometimes. why, do you?ā
you shrug. āi miss the simplicity of it,ā you admit. āthe only thing i had to worry about was how well i was going to do on my calculus exam. i had you, and i had a bunch of friends and my parents. i didnāt have to worry about bills. life was pretty good.ā
āmaybe,ā he agrees. ābut i like life right now more. i get to do what i love and make money off of it. i get to spend more time with you. we get to live our own lives, make our own choices. aināt that the beauty of living?ā
you shrug, squinting your eyes at the sunlight. ādo you ever feel like youāre not enough? like when you were playing volleyball, or when you were just starting up the restaurant?ā
osamu thinks about this question seriously. āi did,ā he admits. āin both those instances. you know what kita-san would always say about volleyball, though?ā and when you shake your head, he tells you: āheād say that he was a mortal who stumbled upon a world of monsters, monsters who love volleyball day after day. he was talking about me, ya know, me and ātsumu, but i realized that in my world, iām not a monster. iām the mortal. ātsumu is the monster. and iām okay with that. i could never go professional like ātsumu, but thatās because iām not meant to. and i didnāt really want to, anyway. i took a chance on starting the restaurant because thatās what i wanted to do, and now iām having the time of my life doing it. it just takes a little patience and courage. you like your job, dontcha?ā
āi do,ā you say. āi guess it just feels like a lot since iām just starting out.ā
āeveryone feels that way at one point,ā he insists. āgive it some time, baby. soon youāll feel like thereās nowhere else you belong.ā
you nod, comforted by osamuās words. āthank you, āsamu,ā you whisper. āyou always know how to cheer me up.ā
he kisses you. ālove ya,ā he whispers.
ālove you too.ā
itās always the little things osamu does that makes your heart swoon. atsumu would do big, grand gestures: serenades in the street; large bouquets of flowers on every date; blowing kisses to you while heās onscreen at a volleyball game. osamu does the little things: cook for you; be there for you; take you for a quick vacation to ease your restless mind. everything he does speaks to you; you see the love and care he puts into everything he does for you and everything he says.
your relationship started out rather slow; you went on dates a lot, but you took your time getting into anything serious. that was, until, osamu blurted out that he loved you one day after winning a big game. then you picked up speed, never stopping or looking back.
they say falling in love is like falling asleep. it happens slowly, then all at once. and this summer, your beloved, magical summer, you fall in love again.
It's fanfiction it doesn't have to be perfect it doesn't have to be accurate this is a hobby you're doing this for fun it's okay if it isn't perfect and polished you're doing it for fun [talking to myself in the mirror]
Okay pretend this is like, when the 100-year war is about to start, so the Air Nomads are still around.
Kuroko: Non-bender from the Southern Water Tribe. He's really determined about stopping the Fire Nation and learns how to use long range weapons that are easy to carry. I really want to say Boomerang.
Kagami: FIRE-BENDER there is literally no other option. He's actually the son of an Fire Nation soldier and Earth Kingdom woman and was supposed to be from the colonies but his parents died, and he got adopted by Alex, who's an Air Nomad.
Kise: Waterbender from the Northern Water Tribe. He's not a prince but he's definitely nobility. He's mastered pretty much every form of sub-bending for waterbending; except the plant manipulation and blood-bending.
Midorima: Earthbender, like, what else? He's the son of an Earth Kingdom nobleman who's ruling a Fire Nation colony, therefore he's sort of friends with Fire Nation royalty.
Aomine: Waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe. His mom is chief and he's a bit of spoilt brat. He's the best bender they have and he's itching for adventure outside of their home to really test out his waterbending skills. He joins Kuroko when Kuroko heads out to check wtf is going on with the Fire Nation recently.
Momoi: Non-bender scholar, trained in hand-to-hand. Though she isn't a bender, she observed the waterbender healers and figured out how to do chi-blocking. She joins Aomine and Kuroko when they head out to ensure they don't do anything extremely stupid and die at sea.
Murasakibara: Airbender who sticks to the the Air Temple he was born in. Hella chill, very mellow, he's an expert in pulling pranks whenever he's bored and very good at baking pies.
Akashi: Prince of the Fire Nation, Firebender. He's mastered lightning-bending and is extremely obedient to his dad. He used to be friends with kids from the other nation(*ahem* GoM) when he was around 10 but his dad cut off all connection because he was, ya know, planning on starting the 100-year war.
Haizaki: Waterbender from the Northern Water Tribe. He's not a noble and is highly competitive with Kise, whom he can never defeat. Their training was very similar and they're both some of the best benders but Haizaki is heavily focused on combat and never even attempts healing(which is why he can't reach Kise's level, Kise figured out newer techniques because of the healing thing).
Kiyoshi: THE AVATAR!!! No it's not just because his name sounds like 'Kyoshi'. He's from an Earth Kingdom town and knows he's the Avatar pretty early but he doesn't make a big deal about it. Then the Fire Nation starts decimating the Air Nomads and RIko urges him to start learning. Kiyoshi is honestly the only person who can be trusted with this amount of power and is closest in temperament to Aang. He's froma humble background and just wants to ensure everyone gets to live peacefully.
Riko: Non-bender who's a student, she learned about all sorts of bending styles out of curiosity and even trained with a sword on her own time with her dad. She's the one who plotted the training regimen for Kiyoshi's Avatar training.
Hyuuga: A Fire Nation, non-bender soldier who Kiyoshi and Riko run into on their travels to find a firebending teacher. Hyuuga is getting very suspicious about his new orders about conquering Earth Kingdom territories, but is initially reluctant to defy. But then he sees Kiyoshi and Riko, and the three get into some trouble and Hyuuga decides to join the two, having realized that the Fire Nation is getting ready for an all-out-war against the Air Nomads.
Himuro: He's the illegitimate child of a Northern Water Tribe noblewoman. She had met a Fire Nation soldier and the two had an affair. She had Himuro but abandoned him, and he was taken away by sailors to be raised in the Earth Kingdom. Himuro grew up on the streets and on pirate ships, with only a betrothal necklace from his mom to know of his heritage which was given by the soldier. He hates the water tribe for abandoning him, and is later taken in by Alex. So he sorta grows up with Alex and he later realizes Kagami's dad is actually also his dad, and that his dad was chased away from the NWT and began another life with Kagami's mom.
Nijimura: Earthbender who's from a downtrodden background. His dad works in crystal mines but is growing weaker. Nijimura had to take over his dad's work and while mining, he became an expert in bending crystals and other non-generic forms of earth.
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I feel like a fic about Atsumu, Oikawa, and Bokuto finding their s/o reading fanfic about them would be hilarious
(You donāt have to do it if you donāt want to <3)
Have a lovely day and thank you if you end up doing this request <33333
a fantasy world
content info ā gender neutral! reader, fluffy hq!! drabbles with some crack & hurt/comfort (sounds weird but bear w it, all separate). a teeny tiny bit suggestive in atsumu's part cuz he's a little shit.
word count ā 1.9k words.
authorās note ā holy HELL this is so late šĀ anon i hope ur still here, i made this pretty long so that's my way of apologizing. im also praying that atsumu is in character because this is only the second time ive written him. anyway, tysm for requesting!! hope u all like this <3
MIYA ATSUMU
your eyes are obstinately glued to your phone, wholly transfixed by the words that were typed across the screen. not a single soul knew about your little hobby and quite frankly, it was likely better that they remained oblivious. you wouldnāt know how to react if anyone found out, but really, there was one particular person who absolutely had to stay unaware.
as it turns out, they were also the very subject of the story youāre currently readingāof course, none other than your sweet, beloved boyfriend, atsumu. not that the term āsweetā was an especially fitting term for him. ooh, that was a sick burn.
now, obviously you loved the boy. atsumu was bold, intelligent, thoughtful, hardworking, and affectionate to the point where osamu and the rest of his team often complained about how shameless he was in front of them. his spirit burned bright with fiery ambition, glimmering red and orange and yellow, and he introduced a kind of light into your life that you had never quite experienced before. at first you were a little wary at first, a little blinded by how much he shone, but because you were just as stubborn as he was, you soon grew used to it.
if anything, you came to learn that atsumu was undoubtedly one of the most inspirational people out there. motivating his peers was like second-nature to him, and even if he didnāt consciously put in the effort to inspire them, he still ended up doing so anyway. his love for volleyball was blatant in its authenticity, in its obsession. so when coupled with his charisma, and, yes, his boyishly good looks, atsumu developed a serious kind of gravitational pull. it was no wonder so many people were drawn ināyourself included.
but, inevitably, something had to be sacrificed. your boyfriendās devotion to the game often meant that you two didnāt get to spend much time together. if atsumu wasnāt practicing at the gym, then he was either thinking about doing it, on his way to doing it, orāthis happens only under the direst of circumstancesārecovering from doing it. he was, in every sense of the word, a workaholic.
you were fine with it for the most part, mostly because you had a busy schedule to deal with yourself. if you werenāt doing homework or studying for an upcoming exam for the sake of staying on top of your classes, then you were either fulfilling your duties as a student council member, playing your respective sport, or taking care of things at home.
regardless, there were still times when you wished atsumu was with you. it didnāt matter if he was spewing volleyball jargon, or forcing you to pepper with him, or anything like that. you just wanted to spend time with him, to actually see him and his stupid face and his stupid smile that you want to kiss so badly.
maybe thatās why youāre so zeroed in on the fanfiction youāre readingāto try and make up for what youāve been deprived of for days on end. a very palpable twinge of sadness tugs at your heart. you push the unwanted sentiment to the depths of your mind, trying to focus on reading the story again.
god, what sentence were you even on? and why was the door suddenly openingā
āhey baby, did ya miss me?ā
your soul leaves your body.
before you even have time to think, a shrill scream rips from your throat as you scramble to hide your phone underneath the covers. atsumu's jaw drops, completely and utterly befuddled by your behavior. after a moment he raises his hands in mock surrender. "jeez, darlin', it's just me. your boyfriend, remember?" atsumu says, brow raised. there's a mixture of emotions written across his faceāslight concern, palpable amusement, even some suspicion. "what are ya hidin' there on your phone, anyway?"
finally, you seem to find your voice. "n-nothing important," you mumble, clearly and very intentionally avoiding the intensity of atsumu's hawk-like gaze. "i didn't even know you'd be visiting today.. thought you would be busy with practice again."
maybe it's because your boyfriend knows you so well by now, but he catches the hint of bitterness in your tone. his face softens, and he takes one, two, three steps toward you until he's taking up the space on your left. "coach called in sick, so mister perfect decided to just cancel practice for today," atsumu shrugs. you're still somewhat upset, but you can't help but smile at the setter's nickname for his captainākita shinsuke, the closest embodiment of perfection that anyone's ever seen.
"i'm pretty sure i texted ya that i would be dropping by," your boyfriend adds, glancing over at you. cautiously, you pull out your phone again and open up the messages app. lo and behold, he did in fact text you, but you were too busy with your fanfiction to notice.
your face burns with the weight of your embarrassment.
a small chuckle escapes from atsumu's mouth. "wow, i haven't even done anything and you're already blushin' for me," he teases. you hit his chest halfheartedly, muttering about how mean he's being. you fail to notice the calculating glint in his eyes. you also fail to notice his hand wandering.
a second later, atsumu grins smugly, your phone held securely in his grip.
"what the hell, 'sumu?!" you screech, trying to retrieve the object in vain. "how did you evenā"
"i'm good with my hands," he winks, and you don't even have time to scold him for the clear innuendo because he's typing in the password to your phone. all you can do is accept your fate as atsumu discovers the story you were reading.
as expected, he laughs. loudly. it's almost like the laugh he lets out whenever he wins a bet against osamu. you turn away, shame and humiliation gnawing at your chest. there's nothing more you want than to be swallowed by the floor beneath you.
however, when atsumu's laughter dies down a few moments later, you feel him wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "baby," he begins, voice still a little breathless from all his cackling, "why are ya reading this when ya got the real thing right here?"
you look up at him, a confusing mess of emotions swirling within your stomach. "because we don't seem to spend much time together anymore," you admit, lowering your eyes to the ground. "laugh all you want, but these stories are there for me whenever i need them. you probably think it's stupid, or pathetic, or whatever, but.. i miss you, 'sumu."
you close your eyes, preparing to hear another round of thunderous laughter. it never comes.
"open yer eyes for me, babe," atsumu's voice is unexpectedly soft, tender. hesitantly, you do, and your gaze meets his. your boyfriend reaches out, resting a calloused hand against your cheek. his touch is so familiar, so comforting, that you can't do anything else but lean in and welcome it. "i didn't know that ya were feelin' this way, and i'll admit that it's my fault for not noticing. but hey, you wanna know somethin'?"
"what is it?" you whisper.
"i miss ya too," your boyfriend confesses. he leans in, placing a soft kiss against your lips. "and tomorrow, i'm taking ya out on a date."
OIKAWA TOORU
"oh my god, this is so cute," you sigh dreamily, swinging your feet in satisfaction as you indulge yourself. it was fanfiction, for crying out loudācan you really be blamed? this particular story practically reeked of fluff. you had just received flowers from the male lead, with you two having confessed just a few days ago. now you were on the first date, entering the doorway to a beautiful relationship that made every reader jealous.
the fact that the male leadāthe infamous setter of aoba johsai, fanboy of iwaizumi hajime, hater of ushijima wakatoshiāalso happened to be your boyfriend was just a minor detail.
you continued reading, the outside world completely irrelevant as you immersed yourself in the story. soon another squeal leaves your lips as oikawa, the male lead, bends down to kiss your hand. he says something swoonworthy, causing you to giggle like a madman. "that's it, i'm marrying you," you say, as if he can hear you through the story.
"marrying who?"
you let out a defeated sigh as your boyfriend pops his head into your room. there's a pout on oikawa's face, his mocha eyes filled with mock betrayal. still there's a part of you that knows he actually is a little bit jealous; he just doesn't know that technically, he's jealous of himself. "who are you marrying, babe?" he asks you somewhat accusingly. "i think it's a bit too early forā"
"shut up please," you groan, a bit sad that your reading session got interrupted. "i'm reading this fanfiction of you, and in the story, you're actually nice to me."
you immediately hear an indignant gasp from your boyfriend. he puts a hand to his chest, his pout now even more prominent. "excuse me, i am nice to you," oikawa scoffs as he walks over, squinting at the story you're reading. "i'm way better than him!"
"you are him," you deadpan.
"exactly! why are you reading that when i'm right here? i'm hurt," oikawa says in disapproval, shaking his head at you. "now move over."
you blinkāonce, twice. "wait, what?"
"i wanna read too," oikawa says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "so i can list all the things they got wrong about me."
BOKUTO KOUTAROU
maybe reading fanfiction about your boyfriend wasn't the best idea. it's not that the story wasn't great because it really wasāthe characterization was on-point, the writing style was smooth and elegant, and the plot was creative. it's more about your boyfriend himself. particularly the way that he reacted when he found out.
"am i not good enough?" bokuto asked you quietly as he stared up at you. his golden eyes were absolutely despondent, his shoulders were slouched, and even his owlish hair looked like it was deflated. you didn't need akaashi to understand that those were all signs of an emo bokuto.
and it was all because of you.
man, the guilt was unbearable.
"koutarou," you say softly, reaching out to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. "baby, you are more than enough for me. you're amazing, okay? you're my anchor, and you make me smile when no one else can. compared to you, this fanfiction means nothing." you pause, placing a tender kiss against his warm cheek. "seeing you sad makes me sad, you know?"
"i'm sorry," bokuto mumbles, burying his face in the crook of your shoulder. "i thought i'd let you down or something, like i wasn't being a good boyfriend. it scared me."
his words make your heart hurt even more. you pull away from the hug, letting your earnest gaze meet his. "from now on, you don't have to be scared," you tell him seriously. "i'll stop reading fanfiction, and every day, i'll remind you of how much you mean to me. is that fair, kou?"
bokuto nods, and it's at that moment that you start to see the gloomy aura around him disappear. "i love you," he says, and you can tell that he means it. he always does.
you pull him closer, your fingers combing through his hair soothingly. he hums quietly, enjoying the feeling. "i love you too, koutarou," you smile. "and no story will ever change that."
you let a few moments pass by, simply listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. slowly, you let your eyes close, your boyfriend's strong embrace lulling you to a light rest. after a few moments, though, bokuto's voice breaks through the silence. "can i ask you a question, babe?"
you open your eyes. "anything."
he pulls away, his expression completely serious as he looks at you. "can we get something to eat?"
im back with another idea to pester you with š i looked in my hellhole of drafts & noticed that i had a several month old blurb of this batman! iwaizumi fic, so hereās the question. . should i continue it?? itās pretty much a dc au featuring iwa & the reader but superhero stuff is my weakness soooo