DEV or DEVON ,, he/she/they ⢠9TEEN. infj. division one procrastinator. writes whenever inspiration permits. currently watching the avatar movies. sfw & nsfw.
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sanemi doesn't even know if he can still scream. his throat's been stretched far too taut, like an elastic band torn at the seams by hands ravenous beyond belief. every fiber of his body aches, shrieking for release, the very fabric of his bruised skin set alight with the dark flames of bloodied exertion. the agony of it all burns into the mortality of his flesh. but nothing can possibly compare to the pain thrumming within his heart, pulling apart the tender, weeping muscle with its insatiable claws and tearing it open til he spills out the blasphemy of his emotions. he stares at his hands. horrid, disfigured clumps of scarlet flesh, robbed barren of his blade. he blinks dumblyâonce, twice, as if to truly try and absorb what he's seeing. there's blood.
but it's not his.
it's not his.
he's done everything he can. fought until the pain clouded his vision to a blinded lavender, slaughtered any demon that dared cross his path. he even prayed to the gods above, begging, pleading, for a sliver of their kindness, for a meager blessing that never came. how funny the image wasâa sinner who hadn't bothered to taste the bitterness of prayer even once in his life, and yet driven to his knees all the same.
with a breath that barely feels like it belongs to him, sanemi looks downâ
he sees the boy that's quietly endured every curse he's ever hurled and every ounce of poison he's ever spat, all the while his own tongue curled with the acidity of it all. the boy whose obstinacy cruelly rivalled his own, with gleaming sparks in wide eyes that were too young, too innocent, eyes that didn't deserve to witness the savagery of the corps. the boy whose perpetual warmth within outweighed the deathly gelidity sinking into his mangled, desecrated figure. the boy who, even now, had the kindness to bestow upon sanemi a title he'd sworn himself off to a million sunsets ago because the grief that consumed his heart was a curse he would carry alone.
"because. . my 'nemi is the nicest person ever."
sanemi's vision gets blurry at the edges again because, as his brother crumples into tiny little fragments of himself, carried by the indifference of the wind, and as he hopelessly, wretchedly tries to cling onto the pieces that are left, he realizes that the battle is now raging withinâ
and he realizes that he's already lost.
author's note : couldn't sleep so i wrote this instead. yeah. im back on tumblr!
summary: years after your messy breakup that broke up the band, you and mydei are forced back together for a reunion tourâand the public canât get enough of your chemistry. on stage, youâre electric, but backstage itâs all snide comments, heated arguments, and mydei slipping in petty lyric changes just to piss you off. youâre not sure whatâs worse: how much you still hate him or how much you donât.
⢠pairing: lead guitarist!mydei x lead singer!fem!reader
⢠contains: romance, angst, smut (oral sex, hate sex, angry sex, unprotected sex, wall sex, overstimulation, slight dirty talk), exes to lovers au, modern au, band au, profanity, alcohol consumption, slight toxicity from both parties, smoking, an amphoreus ensemble castâplease let me know if iâve missed anything!
⢠word count: 16.7k
⢠note: inspired by the honkai star rail official mydei art, olivia rodrigoâs get him back! & daisy jones and the six by taylor jenkins reid. read on ao3 here.
i). wait, is this the song with the drums?
Your first instinct, when Anaxa drops the news about the reunion tour, is to shake your head and vehemently say no.
âAbsolutely not,â you say, holding up a hand like that might somehow physically block the idea from reaching you. Anaxa simply raises an eyebrow and adjusts his glasses.
âItâs not a request,â he replies, flipping through the stack of papers he brought with him. âItâs happening whether youâre on board or not. Your contractâs airtight.âÂ
âThatâs impossible,â you scoff, folding your arms defensively. âI specifically remember agreeing to no future projects involving him.â
âYeah, well, when youâre in a band that makes millions, the label doesnât exactly care about your personal vendettas. Fans have been begging for this for years. You know how much money this is going to make?â
âI canât do this, Anaxa. You know what heâs like. Heâs gonna make this a living hell for me.â
Your managerâs eyes soften just enough to make you look away. âLook, I know itâs not ideal. But itâs just a tour. A few months, and then you never have to see his face again if you donât want to.â
You hesitate, teeth worrying your bottom lip. Anxiety coils inside your stomach like a live wire. Youâd thought youâd buried that part of your lifeâleft it to rot somewhere in the wreckage of what used to be your band and your relationship. Mydeiâs name still leaves a bitter aftertaste whenever it slips out of someoneâs mouth.
But the label wants it. The fans want it.Â
âSo, whatâyou just expect me to pretend we didnât break up in front of the entire world?â you snap, though thereâs less fire behind it this time.
Anaxa shrugs and sets the contract on your coffee table. âPretend, donât pretend. Hell, make it part of the show for all I care. As long as youâre both on that stage together, the crowdâs going to eat it up.â
You hate how practical he sounds. How it almost makes sense. You glance at the contract, at the neat, tidy letters spelling out your own name and Mydeiâs right next to each other, and feel something bitter curl up in your chest.
âIâm gonna kill him,â you mutter.
Anaxa pats your shoulder as he heads for the door. âTry not to do it on stage. Though that might actually sell more tickets.â
You flip him off without looking, and Anaxa just laughs on his way out. The contract sits there on the coffee table, and no matter what you do, you canât seem to look away. Your eyes blur over the words, and all you can think about is him.
Mydei.
Youâve spent months forcing yourself not to say his name out loud, not to think about his legs tangled with yours in bed or the rasp of his voice in your ear when he couldnât keep his hands to himself before a show. You donât let yourself think about the songs you wrote together. You definitely donât think about the way it all fell apart. It was easier when you could pretend that part of your life was overâwhen you didnât have to picture his face or hear his voice in your head, mocking you with every love song you swore youâd never sing again.
With a resigned sigh, you grab the pen Anaxa had placed next to the contract papers and flip to the last page. Your signature comes out a little shaky, but itâs done. You let the pen drop onto the table and lean back against the cushions.Â
The rehearsal studio feels too small. Itâs ironic, reallyâafter spending years crammed into dingy vans and shitty motel rooms together, youâd think it wouldnât bother you. Youâre the first person there (Anaxa had threatened to personally drag you out of your apartment if you didnât show up on time), and because you donât know what else to do, you set about adjusting your mic stand.
Itâs stupid. You know itâs already set to your height, but it gives your hands something to do. The room is way too quiet, the walls lined with soundproofing and a few faded posters from when your bandâthe Chrysos Heirsâwas at its peak. Thereâs a familiar, musty smellâstale air and old fabricâand it makes your chest ache just a little.
Without really thinking about it, you start humming one of the old songsâone that never made it to an album, just something you and Mydei had messed around with one night in the back of a bus. The melody flows out of you like muscle memory, soft and a little shaky at first, but gaining strength as you let the lyrics slip past your lips.
âKiss me once and call me baby,Lie to me and say Iâm crazyâCanât believe I let you take meââ
The door swings open mid-verse, and you stop singing so fast it almost gives you whiplash.
Mydei steps inside, and for a second, you canât move. Itâs like being punched in the gutâseeing him again after all this time. He looks almost the same, and thatâs what pisses you off the most. The same messy hair, the same worn leather jacket hanging off his shoulders, that same stupid, self-assured expression. The only real difference is the hint of stubble lining his jaw, like he didnât bother shaving before showing up. Typical.
He stops just inside the door, guitar case slung over his shoulder, and his eyes lock onto yours. His expression doesnât give away muchâjust a calm, uninterested look, like he couldnât give a shit about being here. Your stomach twists, anger simmering just under your skin. Youâd spent months convincing yourself that youâd moved on, that he didnât matter anymore, but seeing him here, right in front of you, makes all that effort feel pointless. You hate that he still looks good.Â
He doesnât say anything, just drags his gaze over you like heâs sizing you up. You force yourself not to react, keeping your expression as neutral as possible, even though your hands are shaking where they grip the mic stand. You canât let him know how much this is messing with you. You refuse to give him the satisfaction.
Mydei glances at the mic stand, then back at you, and thereâs a flicker of something in his eyesâannoyance, maybe, or just plain indifference. You donât know which is worse. You half expect him to make some smartass comment about your singing earlier, but he doesnât say a word. Just sets his guitar case down on one of the couches and starts unzipping it, still not acknowledging you.
The way heâs ignoring you grates on your nerves. Youâre tempted to snap at him just to get some kind of reaction. But you know how that game goesâhow heâs always been good at pushing your buttons and making you the one who loses their cool first. Youâre not giving him the satisfaction today.
You busy yourself with the mic stand again, even though thereâs nothing to fix. Itâs something to do with your hands, at least. The air feels thick, and your chest feels tight, and you canât stop your mind from wandering back to late-night songwriting sessions and whispered promises that ended up meaning nothing. You wonder if he thinks about those nights tooâor if heâs just moved on completely while youâre still stuck in the aftermath.
The door swings open again, and Castorice and Hyacine walk in, chatting and laughing about something. They both pause when they see you and Mydei, exchanging a quick look before stepping inside.
âHi,â Castorice greets, adjusting the hem of her faded purple band t-shirt. âEverything okay here?â
You force a smile that probably looks more like a grimace. âYeah. All good.â
Hyacine gives you a small smile, her pigtails swinging, and starts setting up her bass. Castorice nudges Mydei with her elbow as she passes by, but he just shrugs her off and keeps tuning his guitar. She rolls her eyes and grabs her drumsticks.
You canât help but glare at him, half-hoping heâll look up so you can throw something snarky his way. Maybe if heâd just stop pretending like youâre invisible, you wouldnât feel like your chest is caving in. Youâre caught between wanting to scream at him and wanting to leave before your hands start shaking too hard to hide.
Phainon slips in a few minutes later, his snowy hair wind-ruffled and his jeans ripped at the knees. âAlready at each otherâs throats, huh?â he mutters, mostly to himself, but you hear it.
âNah,â you bite out. âNo oneâs dead yet.â
Phainon chuckles and unslings his guitar case. Itâs forced, yes, and you know heâs just trying to lighten the mood. It doesnât help much. Mydei doesnât even acknowledge the comment; he just keeps strumming a few notes like heâs deliberately tuning you out. You look away.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: âChrysos Heirs: The Reunion Tour â Behind the Music. Episode One.â
[INT. STUDIO â DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]Soft lighting. Castorice sits on a stool, tapping her drumsticks against her knee absentmindedly. She grins when she notices the camera.
CASTORICE: The first practice? Oh, man. That was a nightmare. I mean, I know it was gonna be awkward, butâwow. I half expected the room to just spontaneously combust. (Laughs) They didnât even look at each other for the first half hour. I thought Iâd have to throw a cymbal at someone just to break the ice.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, sitting cross-legged on the floor, her bass leaning against her shoulder.]
HYACINE: Honestly, I wasnât sure if theyâd even show up. _____ got there first, and Mydei came just before me and Cas showed up. When we walked in⌠(Sighs) It was like stepping into a freezer. I kept looking at Castorice like, Are we really doing this?
[CUT TO: PHAINON, leaning against the wall with his guitar propped up next to him.]
PHAINON: You could cut the tension with a knife. I was just waiting for one of them to snap, honestly. ____ was messing with the mic stand like it owed her money, and Mydeiâ(snorts) he just acted like he didnât give a shit. Everyone knows he does, though. I could see his hands shaking a little while he was tuning his guitar.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, slouched on the couch, arms crossed.]
MYDEI: First practice? Whatever. I showed up, didnât I? (Shrugs) _____ was already there, singing something I wrote. I didnât say anything. Didnât feel like arguing. Didnât feel like⌠dealing with that. (Pauses) We got through it. Thatâs what matters.
[CUT TO: YOU, sitting on a folding chair, arms crossed, eyes fixed somewhere off camera.]
YOU: I didnât think heâd actually come. And when he did⌠(shakes head) I was just angry. At him, at myself. At the fact that he didnât even look at me. We used to be⌠I donât know. Better than that. He didnât say anything to me, and I wasnât gonna be the one to break first. We both have too much pride.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE AGAIN, twirling a drumstick between her fingers.]
CASTORICE: Eventually, I just started playing something random to break the silence. That usually worked back thenâget the rhythm going, and the rest will follow. I guess some things never change, because once I started up, Phainon joined in, and Hyacine just kinda jumped in too. ____ and Mydei just stared at each other like it was some kind of weird staring contest.
[CUT TO: HYACINE AGAIN, laughing softly.]
HYACINE: I thought one of them was gonna strangle the other before we even got to the chorus. But after a few minutes of us just messing around with the intro, _____ gave in and started singing. Mydei followedâstubborn assholeâbut it actually sounded good. Like, almost better than I remembered.
[CUT TO: PHAINON AGAIN, smiling with his eyes crinkled at the corners.]
PHAINON: It was a mess. A beautiful mess. Thatâs just how it is with us. Always on the edge of imploding but somehow making it work. They didnât say a word to each other the whole practice, but the music spoke for them. Itâs weird how that works, huh?
[CUT TO: MYDEI, still looking annoyed, but his jaw clenches a little.]
MYDEI: We got through the set. It wasnât⌠terrible. (Pauses) She still sings like sheâs got something to prove. Never really lost that passion. I guess thatâs one thing that hasnât changed.
[CUT TO: YOU, looking almost hesitant.]
YOU: The music was the only thing that didnât feel different. Thatâs the worst part. We still fit together on stage. I donât know how to feel about that.
ii). he had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye.
The venue is packed, lights flashing in time with the beats of the opening song. Castorice is good. That hasnât changed, not even a little. The heat of the stage lights is already making sweat prickle at the back of your neck, but you force yourself to ignore it, keeping your eyes fixed on the dark mass of people in front of you. You can barely make out individual faces past the glare, but it doesnât matterâtheyâre all screaming, hands in the air, chanting your bandâs name like a war cry.
To your left, Hyacineâs fingers fly over the bass strings, head bobbing in time with the rhythm. Her eyes are focused and sharp, lips curved into a smile. Next to her, Phainon strums his guitar, sweat dripping down his temples. Heâs got that manic grin on his face, the one that always surfaces when heâs deep in the music.
Youâre trying to focusâkeep your voice steady, keep your hands from shakingâbut itâs hard when you know heâs right behind you, adjusting his guitar strap and dragging his pick over the strings just loud enough to be a distraction. You swear heâs doing it on purpose, plucking random notes like heâs got nothing better to do, just to see if he can make you crack.
You refuse to look back at him. Instead, you take a slow breath and lean into the mic, eyes half-lidded and voice low as you speak to the crowd.
âHey, everyone,â you drawl, and the noise swells, cheers and screams merging into a single deafening roar. You give them a crooked smile. âFeels good to be back. Did you guys miss us?â
The crowd roars. You can feel itâthe way theyâve been waiting for this, for you. You ignore the way it makes your throat close up a little, focusing instead on the setlist displayed on the prompter. The opening song is one of your older hits, the kind of thing that used to play on the radio at least once a day back when it was first released. Youâve sung it a thousand times before, but tonight, it feels different. Heâs right there, and you hate how you can feel his presence without even looking.
The drums kick in, pounding through your ribs, and you throw yourself into the first verse.
âBite your tongue âtil it bleeds,
Hide the bruises on your knees,
Say you never caredâ
I know youâre lying through your teeth.â
Your voice is steady, loud enough to carry over the instruments as the crowd sings with you. You almost lose yourself in it. The light pulses red and white, casting shadows across the stage, and you grip the mic stand tighter, putting every ounce of frustration into your performance.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Mydei move closer to his mic, his guitar slung low and his fingers dancing over the strings. You force yourself not to look at him, focusing on the rhythm instead, on keeping your breathing even as the verse transitions into the chorus.
âBittersweet vendetta,
Carved your name into my skin,
Kiss me like a secret.
Make me wish Iâd never let you in.â
You push your voice harder, practically shouting the last line, and the crowdâs response is instantaneousâvoices rising to meet yours, some of them screaming loud enough to rival the speakers. You finally risk a glance to your right, just in time to see Mydeiâs lips curve into a smirk, his head tilted like heâs daring you to acknowledge him.
He leans into the mic, and his voice slices through the air.
âShe lies like she means it,
Fake love on her lipsââ
You clench your jaw so hard it aches, but you donât miss your next cue, even though your mind is reeling. Thatâs not the original line. Heâs never changed it beforeânot in all the years you performed this song together. You shove down the surge of anger, forcing yourself to keep going as if nothing happened.
The audience reacts immediatelyâsome laughing, some whooping. You know they heard it. You know he did it just to get a rise out of you. You hate that itâs working, that your pulse is thrumming in your ears and your hands are shaking even as you keep your expression blank.
You donât look at him. Instead, you pour every ounce of your irritation into the next verse, voice dropping low and venomous.
âCut me down with your clever words,
Always knew how to make it hurt,
Fake your way to heaven,
But Iâd follow you through hell first.â
You swear you hear Mydei laugh under his breath, but he keeps playing like nothingâs wrong, his fingers moving over the strings like second nature. Your stomach twists, and you canât tell if itâs fury or something uglierâsomething that feels like regret buried under years of resentment.
The bridge comes crashing in, and you give it everything youâve got. Your voice is raw and unrestrained.
âSwore Iâd never write about you,
Guess I lied again somehow,
Made my bed on broken promises,
Tell meâare you happy now?â
The crowdâs roar almost drowns you out, but you donât let up, spitting out the words like theyâre poison on your tongue. Youâre breathless by the time the final chorus hits, and the last line comes out almost like a snarl.
When the song ends, the audience erupts, and you finally allow yourself a moment to breathe, wiping sweat from your forehead with your palm. Your ears are ringing, but you catch a glimpse of Mydei as he steps back from his mic, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He doesnât look at you. Nor does he seem to particularly care that he just tore through one of your most iconic songs with a cheap, unnecessary jab.
You force a smile and wave to the crowd.
The moment the stage lights cut out and the cheers of the crowd fade behind the heavy backstage door, youâre off. You donât bother thanking the crew or even stopping to catch your breathâyou just march straight to the green room, hands still trembling from the adrenaline and the anger. Your heartâs pounding so loud in your ears that you barely hear the door swing open behind you.
You whirl around just as Mydei walks in, still wiping sweat off his face with the hem of his shirt. The sight of himâsmirking like he didnât just pull that shit on stageâmakes your stomach twist with rage.
âWhat the fuck was that?â Your voice comes out harsher than you intended, but you donât care.
Mydei just raises an eyebrow, like heâs confused about why youâre yelling. âWhat was what?â
âDonât play fucking dumb,â you snap. âYou changed the fucking lyrics. You know exactly what Iâm talking about.â
He just shrugs and tosses his towel onto one of the chairs. âOh, that. Yeah, I thought it sounded better. More honest.â
You take a step closer, jabbing a finger at him. âYou donât get to do that. You donât get to just rewrite shit on stage without telling anyone. We practiced that song a hundred times, Mydei. What the hell is wrong with you?â
âYouâre really gonna get this worked up over one line?â He scoffs, running a hand through his sweat-damp hair. âCome on, itâs not that deep.â
âNot that deep?â You laugh, but itâs humourless and cold. âYou made it sound like Iâm some kind of manipulative bitch in front of thousands of people! How the hell am I supposed to not get worked up about that?â
âMaybe if it wasnât true, it wouldnât bother you so much,â he says, leaning back against the wall.
Your jaw drops. âExcuse me?â
Mydei shrugs again, his voice low and taunting. âYou always were good at faking itâfeelings, sincerity, the whole tragic frontwoman act. Sorry if I just cut through the bullshit.â
Something snaps inside you, and before you even realise it, you shove him backwards with both hands. Mydei doesnât stumble, but his smirk falls for just a secondâjust enough to make you feel a flicker of satisfaction.
âFuck you,â you spit out. âYou donât know a single thing about me.â
His face hardens, and he pushes off the wall to get right back into your space. âDonât I? I know you lie like itâs second nature. You get off on being the victim, pretending like youâre the one who got hurt. But we both know youâre just as guilty as I am.â
âYouâre a fucking asshole.â Youâre breathing hard now, fists clenched at your sides to keep from swinging at him. âYouâre the one who decided to leave the band first. Iâm not the one who bailed.â
âYeah, because sticking around and watching you sabotage everything we built together sounded like a blast. Youâre impossible to deal with. Always have been.â
âYou think Iâm impossible? Youâre the one who picks a fight every chance you get. Itâs like you canât stand if Iâm not miserable,â you shoot back. âNewsflash, Mydeiânot everythingâs about you and your bruised ego.â
âSays the girl who canât stand it when someone calls her out,â he says, lips curling into a mocking grin. âMaybe I hit a nerve because you know Iâm right. Youâre so used to being adored that the second someone questions you, you lose your shit.â
You shove him again, harder this time, and he doesnât moveâjust stays rooted to the spot, glaring down at you. âGod, I hate you,â you seethe, voice cracking despite yourself.
âFunny. Didnât sound like hate the last time you were screaming my name.â
You freeze, heat rushing to your face, and the anger bubbles into something darkerâsomething desperate and bitter. âYou think youâre so fucking clever, donât you? Always gotta have the last word, always gotta prove something. Youâre pathetic.â
âYouâre one to talk,â he grits out. âStill hung up on shit that happened years ago. Iâm pathetic? Youâre the one still singing about heartbreak like itâs gonna make people feel sorry for you.â
You want to hit him. You want to scream at him until your voice breaks. Instead, you shove him again, and this time he catches your wrists, yanking you forward until your chest brushes his. His face is inches from yours, breath hot against your cheek.
âAdmit it,â Mydei murmurs, low. âYouâre pissed because I called you out, and now you canât hide behind your lyrics like a coward.â
You wrench your hands free, but you donât move back. Youâre too close, breathing hard. âYouâre such a fucking asshole,â you whisper, voice tight.
His eyes bore into yours. âAnd youâre a goddamn liar.â
Before either of you can say anything else, Hyacine pushes the door open with a scowl. She takes one look at the two of you and shakes her head. âSeriously? Already? I knew this tour would be a shitshow, but I didnât think youâd try to kill each other on night one.â
You finally rip yourself away from him, swiping at your face like youâre trying to scrub the confrontation off your skin. Mydei doesnât look at you. He just picks up his towel and wipes his hands.
Castorice slips in behind Hyacine, still buzzing from the performance. âKephale, you two are like feral cats. Canât we just chill for five seconds?â
âWeâve got interviews in ten minutes,â Phainon pipes up from behind her. âYou guys need to get your shit together.â
Hyacine levels both of you with a glare. âI donât care what personal shit youâve got going on, but donât pull that crap on stage again. Mydei, you donât change the lyrics without telling us. _____, stop feeding into his bullshit. Youâre both being idiots.â
Neither of you says anything, but youâre still seething, trying to force down the bitter ache in your chest. Mydei rolls his shoulders and turns away, his shaggy hair falling down the nape of his neck. When you finally turn and leave the room, you can still feel his eyes on your back, and it makes your skin crawl. You tell yourself youâre just glad to be away from him, but the knot in your stomach says otherwise.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: âOpening Night â Sold Out.â
[INT. STUDIO â DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, her expression thoughtful.]
CASTORICE: Okay, look, Iâm not gonna go around pinning the blame on anyone. That doesnât do anyone any good. (Shifts slightly) I just think that weâre all adults here, and what Mydei and _____ were doing didnât do us any favours.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, scowling at the camera.]
HYACINE: Theyâre pretty f***ing immature, if you ask me. Sometimes I think Mydei and _____ forget that theyâre not the only people in the band. They founded it, sure, but what about me, Cas, and Phainon? This isnât just some petty high school-level battle of the bands shit. This is our f***ing careers weâre talking about.
[CUT TO: PHAINON, leaning back with a cigarette rolling between his fingers.]
PHAINON: Yeah, itâs real inspiring when your frontmen are trying to rip each otherâs heads off backstage. Real rock and roll. (Scoffs) Look, theyâre both stubborn as hell, and itâs not like we didnât see it coming. You put two people with that much history on the same stage, and itâs like throwing a match into gasoline.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, arms spread out on the back of the couch.]
MYDEI: Itâs not my fault she canât handle the truth. Weâre supposed to be putting on a show, arenât we? Guess whatâdramaâs a part of it. If she wants to get pissed because I added a little honesty to the setlist, thatâs on her. (Shrugs) Iâm not gonna apologise for making it real.
[CUT TO: YOU, visibly tense, gripping the edge of your seat.]
YOU: He didnât change the lyrics because it was real. He did it to hurt me. Thereâs a difference. Itâs not about the fans, or the show, or whatever bullshit excuse heâs telling himself. Itâs about control. He just couldnât stand the fact that I was getting through it without him, that I was⌠fine. (Pauses) Or at least trying to be.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE AGAIN, rubbing the back of her neck.]
CASTORICE: (Sighs) Youâd think that after all these years, theyâd have learned how to work together without turning it into a battlefield. Weâre not in high school anymore. Weâre on tour. If one of them messes up, itâs not just their mess to clean upâitâs all of ours.
[CUT TO: HYACINE AGAIN, looking more annoyed than before.]
HYACINE: Itâs exhausting. Weâre just trying to make music, not mediate whatever unresolved shit theyâve got going on. Half the time, I feel like Iâm babysitting. They either need to figure it out or shut the hell up and be professional for once.
[CUT TO: PHAINON AGAIN, giving a resigned laugh.]
PHAINON: Honestly, if theyâd just screw and get it over with, we might finally get some peace around here.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, AGAIN]
MYDEI: Phainon said that? Not a chance. Iâd rather set my guitar on fire.
[CUT TO: YOU AGAIN, rolling your eyes.]
YOU: Yeah, well, might be the most impressive thing Mydeiâs done in a while.
iii). do i love him? do i hate him? i guess itâs up and down.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: âThe Foundersâ Cut.â
[INT. STUDIO â DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: YOU, sitting upright with your arms crossed.]
INTERVIEWER (off-camera): Can you tell us about the bandâs early days? How did the Chrysos Heirs come together?
YOU: God, that feels like forever ago. (Pauses) It was just me and Mydei at first. We were⌠just kids, really. Weâd meet up after school in my dadâs garageâhim on guitar, me scribbling down lyrics on whatever scraps of paper we could find. It wasnât anything serious back then. We just wanted to make noise and piss off the neighbours.
INTERVIEWER: Did you always know it was going to be a band?
YOU: (Shakes head) Not at all. We didnât plan for it to be anything more than a way to kill time. Weâd play until our fingers ached or Dad came out yelling at us to cut it out. (Smiles a little) It was messy and loud andâfun. We didnât think much past that.
INTERVIEWER: When did it start to feel like more than just noise?
YOU: When Castorice came into the picture. She was incredible. She had this way of making everything tighter, more precise. Like she just knew what needed to happen to make the sound click. Mydei knew her from some music workshop thingâsaid she was the only drummer heâd met who wasnât full of shit. (Laughs softly) One day, she just showed up with this beat-up drum set and told us our timing was crap. And she was right.
INTERVIEWER: What was your reaction to her criticism?
YOU: Oh, I was pissed. I didnât want some stranger telling us we were doing it wrong. But she wasnât mean about itâjust honest, I suppose. And once she started playing, we couldnât really argue with her. She made us sound like an actual band.
INTERVIEWER: And Hyacine and Phainon? How did they join?
YOU: They came later. Weâd been playing these tiny, shitty bar showsâbarely getting paid, just trying to scrape together enough for gas and food. It was clear we needed a bassist. Castorice was the one who pushed for it. She said we sounded hollow without that low end. She knew Hyacine from some other band that had just implodedâsome drama I never got the full story on. Hyacine came in and just took over. She was relentless, always pushing for perfection. It drove me and Mydei crazy at first, but she made us sound good. Really good.
INTERVIEWER: And Phainon?
YOU: (Smiles fondly) Phainon was a surprise. Mydei found him at some underground gigâhe was up there shredding like it was the easiest thing in the world. Mydei practically dragged him to rehearsal the next day, and Phainon barely said a word. He just picked up his guitar and played like heâd been with us the whole time. We didnât even have to teach him the songsâhe just⌠knew. It was weird, but it worked.
INTERVIEWER: What was it like performing together back then?
YOU: Incredible. We werenât perfect by any meansâweâd f**k up chord changes and stumble over lyrics, but people didnât care. There was this energy that made up for it. The crowd felt it too. Weâd get off stage, drenched in sweat, hearts pounding, and just laugh about how much we almost screwed up. Those shows were something else.
INTERVIEWER: And what about you and Mydei? You two were already together by then?
YOU: (Pauses, glancing away) Yeah. It just happened. It wasnât really something we talked aboutâit just made sense at the time. We were always around each other anyway.
INTERVIEWER: What changed?
YOU: (Exhales slowly) Success changed things. Suddenly we were everywhereâtouring, interviews, non-stop shows. We didnât have time to breathe, let alone talk about anything that mattered. It was just⌠go, go, go. And when things got tough, we didnât know how to handle it. We didnât talk. We just fought. About stupid shitâlyrics, setlists, tempos. It wasnât about the band anymore. It was about us, trying to hurt each other without admitting thatâs what we were doing.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, leaning back in his chair with one arm thrown across the back of it.]
INTERVIEWER (off-camera): Can you talk about why you left the band?
MYDEI: (Exhales, looks away for a moment) It wasnât⌠one thing, you know? People always want it to be simple, like thereâs one big reason I just up and left. But it wasnât. There was justâtoo much shit piling up. Tension between all of us, pressure from the label, and I wasnât in the right headspace to deal with it.
INTERVIEWER: Do you regret it?
MYDEI: Sometimes. Maybe. I didnât really think about what it would do to the others at the time. I needed to figure out who I was without the band. It was selfish, I know, but I couldnât keep pretending I was okay with how things were going.
INTERVIEWER: Were you unhappy with the band itself, or just the dynamics between the members?
MYDEI: Both, I guess. The band was everything to me at one point. It was the one thing I thought I could count on. But then it just got⌠complicated. We went from just being a bunch of idiots messing around to something huge, and I wasnât ready for that kind of pressure. The music stopped feeling like oursâlike mine. It was just what everyone else wanted from us.
INTERVIEWER: How did the others react when you told them you were leaving?
MYDEI: (Chuckles bitterly) Not well. Castorice tried to talk me out of itâsaid I was being impulsive and throwing away something weâd built from the ground up. Hyacine was pissed. She didnât say much, but I could tell she was angry. Phainon didnât say anything at all. Just kind of⌠stared at me like Iâd betrayed him or something.
INTERVIEWER: And _____?
MYDEI: (Stiffens) She didnât take it well. She said I was running awayâlike I always did. We fought about it for hours. Nothing we said made sense by the end of it. Just yelling for the sake of yelling. I think we both knew it wasnât just about the band at that point.
INTERVIEWER: After you left, the Chrysos Heirs seemed to almost dissolve overnight. Can you talk about that?
MYDEI: (Breathes out slowly) Yeah, I heard about it a few months later. It wasnât something I expected. I thought theyâd keep going without me, honestly. I didnât think I was that important. (Pauses) Turns out, though, that me leaving kind of pulled the rug out from under everything.Â
INTERVIEWER: Did the others ever talk to you about it?
MYDEI: Castorice called me once. She didnât say much, just that theyâd decided to take a break, and that without me there, it wasnât working. She didnât blame me, exactly, but I could hear it in her voice. Like she was trying not to say that Iâd screwed everything up. (Shakes his head) Phainon never reached out. I donât know if he was angry or justâdisappointed. Hyacine texted me some stuff, mostly updates, but nothing about how they felt about it.
INTERVIEWER: What about _____?
MYDEI: (Tenses visibly) We never spoke to each other after I left.
INTERVIEWER: Do you think that the band dissolving hurt her the most?
MYDEI: Yeah. I know it did. The band was everything to herâmore than it was to any of us, I think. She was always the one pushing us to go further, to make better music, to keep going even when it was hard. So when it all fell apart⌠I know she took it personally. Like she failed or something. Especially when I saw her trying to do solo stuff after that.Â
INTERVIEWER: Did you listen to her solo work?
MYDEI: (Nods) Every track. It was goodâdifferent, but good.
The studio lights beat down on you like a relentless sun, and you resist the urge to wipe at the thin sheen of sweat forming at your hairline. You force yourself to smile through it, shoulders squared and posture just right, even as your muscles ache from holding the same position for too long. Castorice mutters under her breath about how awkward it feels to act casual when thereâs a giant lens pointed right at your face; you canât help but agree. Itâs been ages since the last group photoshoot, and the discomfort is hard to ignore.
Mydei stands at the far end, stiff and distant, hands stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket. Heâs staring at some fixed point behind the photographerâs head, looking like heâs seconds away from bolting. It drives you insane how obvious heâs being about not wanting to be here. You catch his eye once, and the look he gives you is so blank, itâs almost insulting.
Castorice throws an arm across Phainonâs shoulders, and the two lean into each other. Hyacine sits cross-legged in front of you, holding up two peace signs and grinning widely.
âAll right, good! Thatâs enough for the group shots,â Aglaea, the director of photography, calls out, clapping her hands together. âEveryone but Mydei and _____, take five. I want a few duo shots.â
You stiffen. Castorice glances between the two of you with something close to worry, but when you shoot her a tight smile, she just shrugs and heads off with Hyacine and Phainon in tow.
Mydei hasnât moved an inch, his hands still stuffed into his pockets, jaw tight. You take a slow breath and will yourself not to let him get under your skin. Not again.
Aglaea gestures you both forward, clearly sensing the awkwardness but too professional to comment on it. âAll right, you two. Letâs lean into the chemistry a bit. I want intimate and rawâlike the worldâs finally looking at you both behind the professional masks.â
Your lips press into a thin line. Mydei doesnât react at all.
âFace each other,â Aglaea instructs, waving a hand to adjust the lighting. It catches on the bright gold of her blouse, and you blink a little. âMydei, hands on her waist. _____, put your hands on his shoulders. Closer. I need to feel the tension. Like youâre caught between fighting and kissing.â
You almost laugh at the irony. Thatâs practically all youâve done since he showed up againâhovering somewhere between wanting to scream at him and wanting to grab his face and never let go. The thought burns. You squash it as you step forward.
Mydeiâs hands settle on your waist, and itâs as if electricity crackles through you, setting every nerve alight. His touch is hesitant, like heâs not sure he has the right to be this close anymore. Your hands come up to his shoulders, fingers brushing over familiar leather and muscle, and you force yourself to look up at him.
His eyes catch yours. Neither of you moves. He looks at you like heâs seeing something he thought heâd lost, and it makes your heart twist painfully.
âCloser,â Aglaea calls out, voice clipped. âMydei, lean in like youâre about to say something youâve been holding back for years. _____, tilt your chin upâgive him that look, like youâre angry but imploring.â
You do as she says, your breath hitching when his forehead dips to rest against yours. Your fingers tighten against his shoulders, and his hands shift on your waist, thumbs brushing over the fabric of your shirt like heâs trying to memorise the feel of it. Those strands of hair that he always braids because he claimed it made him look âedgyâ brushes against the curve of your cheek. You can feel his breath fan across your face, warm and familiar, and it hurts how natural it feels.
When you look to the side, Aglaea is frowning. âCloser,â she says again. âI need to see that longing.â
You donât bother hiding your scoff, muttering under your breath, âMaybe itâd be easier if he didnât look like heâd rather be doing literally anything else.â
His eyes snap to yours, defensive. âSorry Iâm not putting on enough of a show for you,â he mutters back, just loud enough for you to hear.
âMaybe if you actually gave a damn, it wouldnât feel like pulling teeth,â you hiss.
He narrows his eyes, tightening his grip just a fraction, enough to make your pulse jump. âThere you fucking go again. Acting like youâre the only one who cares about this.â
You force yourself to keep the smile plastered on your face for the camera, teeth clenched. âOh, forgive me for thinking you donât give a shit. Itâs not like you havenât disappeared for months without a word.â
âYou think I wanted to leave?â
âYou didnât exactly try to stay,â you snap, fingers digging into his shoulders. âYou left me to deal with the fallout while you got to play the tortured artist somewhere else. And now youâre back, and youâre acting like none of it mattered.â
âYou didnât want me to stay,â he says, barely more than a whisper. âYou didnât even ask.â
The accusation slices through you, and your grip on his shoulders loosens. âHow was I supposed to ask when you made up your mind without me?â you fire back. âYou made it clear that I wasnât worth staying for.â
His expression hardens, like heâs trying to cover the hurt bleeding through his anger. âThatâs not fair. You never once asked how I felt about it. You just decided I didnât care.â
You want to scream at him for being so obliviousâfor acting like you didnât spend weeks waiting for a call that never came. Instead, you force your lips into a tight, brittle smile. âGuess you made it pretty damn convincing when you left even though I asked you to stay.â
Something in his eyes cracks, just for a moment, but then Aglaeaâs voice cuts through.
âYes! Thatâs it!â she crows. âKeep it up. Mydei, cup her face.â
He doesnât move at first, just stares down at you, his breath coming out in uneven bursts. Then his hand lifts, cupping your jaw, his thumb brushing over your cheek like itâs muscle memory. The way he looks at you, then, makes your throat close up.
You want to push him away, but your hands stay where they are, like theyâre glued to him. Aglaea calls out more instructions, but her voice is distantâjust noise behind the thunder in your chest.
When she finally calls for a wrap, you step back, your hands falling limply to your sides. Mydeiâs arms drop away from you, his face shuttered and closed off again. You donât look at him as you turn on your heel and walk off to the break room, every muscle in your body screaming with the urge to just get away from him before you say something even worse.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: âThe Membersâ Cut.â
The screen fades out into grainy footage from an old concert: Mydei and _____ on stage, harmonising, Mydei strumming his guitar while _____ sways with the mic. The audience sways as one, flashlights held up as they move in time with the song. The video fades out.
[INT. STUDIO â DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: PHAINON, sitting cross-legged on a couch, an easy smile on his face.]
PHAINON: Back then? Man, they were something else. Youâd think they were fused at the hip with how much time they spent together. Writing songs at three in the morning, huddled over some crumpled notebook, arguing about chord progressions one second and laughing the next. I donât think Iâve ever seen two people make something so good while simultaneously wanting to strangle each other. It was weirdly sweet.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, sitting in a green room with her legs swung over the arm of a chair.]
CASTORICE: _____ used to steal Mydeiâs hoodies every time we hit a new city. Didnât matter how hot it wasâsheâd be drowning in that thing, sleeves halfway covering her hands. Mydeiâd just roll his eyes and mumble something about it smelling weird when he got it back, but he never complained. Theyâd go on these stupid little coffee dates whenever we had downtimeâjust the two of them, sneaking off like no one would notice. We noticed. Everyone noticed.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, sitting on the floor of the green room.]
HYACINE: Honestly? Their songs were the best ones we ever wrote. Together, they just⌠clicked. It was effortless. I think the first time I heard âAfter Midnightâ, I kinda wanted to throw up from how sweet it was. But you could tellâevery word, every noteâthey put their whole hearts into it. It was like they were making something for just the two of them, and the rest of us were lucky to get a piece of it.
[CUT TO: PHAINON AGAIN, still sporting that easy smile.]
PHAINON: But, yâknow, things got complicated. Like they always do. Theyâre both stubborn as hell, and neither of them knows how to sit down and talk without throwing metaphorical knives at each other. Still⌠(Laughs softly) I stand by what I said. If they screw each other and get it over with, everyoneâs gonna be okay.
iv). wanna kiss his face with an uppercut.
Youâre sprawled across the hotel bed, face buried in the pillow, when your phone rings. You groan, tempted to ignore it, but the screen flashes Anaxagorasâ name, and you know better than to let it go to voicemail.
You pick up and press the phone to your ear. âYeah?â
âDonât sound so enthusiastic,â Anaxa deadpans. His voice is brisk, no-nonsense as always. âIâm just checking in.â
âFantastic,â you say dryly, sitting up and running a hand through your hair. âPhotoshoot went great. Almost fought Mydei. Twice.â
âGreat Kephale,â he mutters, and you can imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose. âAre you two still at each otherâs throats?â
âItâs kind of hard not to be when he acts like breathing the same air as me is a personal insult,â you snap. âAglaea made us take those stupid couple shots, and he looked like he wanted to die the whole time. Itâsââ You break off, clenching your jaw. âItâs annoying.â
Anaxa grunts, unimpressed. âYouâre letting him get to you.â
âYeah, no shit.â
âThen stop it,â he says, as if itâs that easy. âYou donât have to like him, but you do have to get through this. Itâs one shoot and a few public appearances. Youâve handled worse.â
âThatâs the problem. Itâs not supposed to be worse. Weâre supposed to be professionals, but heâsâheâs making it impossible.â
Anaxa doesnât answer right away, but when he does, his tone is firm. âLook, if he wants to act like a child, let him. You donât have to stoop to his level. Smile for the camera, grit your teeth if you have to, and donât give him the satisfaction of knowing heâs pissing you off.â
You hate that heâs right. âYeah. I know.â
âYou want me to handle anything?â
âNo,â you say quickly, shaking your head even though he canât see it. âIâll deal with it.â
He doesnât bother with goodbyes, just hangs up like always. You let your phone drop onto the bed and slump back down, staring up at the ceiling. You hate that itâs still gnawing at youâthe frustration, the hurt, the way Mydeiâs indifference feels like a punch to the gut every single time.
You tell yourself itâs fine. You can handle it. Youâve been through worse.
A knock at the door startles you out of your thoughts. You blink, wondering if you imagined it, but then it comes againâmore impatient, this time. You groan and push yourself up, dragging your feet as you cross the room. Your muscles still ache from the photoshoot, and your mood hasnât improved because of Anaxaâs call.
You pull the door open, expecting maybe Castorice or one of the others, but itâs Mydei. He leans against the doorframe, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his jaw set in that familiar way that makes you want to slam the door right in his face.
âWhat do you want?â you snap, not even attempting to sound polite.
He glances away, gaze fixed on some spot above your shoulder. âIâ Just wanted toââ
âOh, please,â you interrupt. âLike you fucking care.â
âDonât start.â
âIâm starting,â you snap back, âbecause you spent the whole fucking day making it perfectly clear that breathing the same air as me is unbearable, and now youâre playing concerned? Do you even look at yourself?â
âMaybe I do care,â he tells you, and you cut in again.
âYouâre the one who looked like heâd rather die than put his hands on me. Trust me, I noticed.â
âItâs not thatââ He cuts himself off, jaw clenched, and steps closer. âYou donât get it.â
âThen explain it to me!â you shoot back, shoving his shoulder. âYou canât just act like a dick and expect me to read your mind. Or are you still too much of a coward to admit anything out loud?â
That hits a nerve. His eyes flash, and he steps into your space, so close you can feel the heat coming off him. âMaybe if you didnât act so fucking righteous all the time, I wouldnât feel like Iâm losing my mind around you,â he spits out.
âYeah?â you challenge, shoving him again just to get him to react. âMaybe if you didnât keep running away every time something actually matters, we wouldnât be stuck in this stupid cycle!â
He grabs your wrist, yanking you even closer, and you can feel his breath on your face, warm and ragged. âIâm not running.â
âYes, you are,â you hiss, your voice cracking despite yourself. âYou always do. You think if you act like nothing happened, itâll just go away. Well, fuck you, Mydei, because it doesnât.â
He looks at you like he wants to argue, but his jaw works soundlessly, and youâre so sick of itâso tired of dancing around whateverâs been festering between you since the band split. Before you know it, your hands are gripping the front of his jacket, yanking him forward just as he crushes his mouth against yours.
Itâs not soft or carefulânothing about it is gentle. Itâs teeth and heat and frustration, like trying to punish each other for every stupid fight, every missed chance. He makes a low, frustrated noise, backing you into the room and kicking the door shut behind him.
Your hands are tangled in his hair now, and his grip on your waist is bruising, like heâs terrified youâll pull away. You bite down on his lower lip, and he groans against your mouth, pressing you back until your spine meets the wall.
âYouâre an asshole,â you mutter against his lips, barely catching your breath.
He just smirks, dragging his mouth down to your jaw, his voice rough and breathless. âYeah? Youâre not much better.â
Your fingers tighten in his hair, and he doesnât even try to hide the shiver that rolls through him. You hate himâyou hate him so much for making you feel like this, for pushing and pulling and never letting you breathe. But right now, with his mouth on yours and his hands on your body and heat pooling inside your stomach, the only thing you can think of is him taking you against the wall.
You barely register the way Mydei lifts you off the ground, your legs wrapping instinctively around his waist as he pins you to the wall. His mouth is hot and unrelenting against yours, like heâs trying to erase every insult youâve ever thrown at him. Youâre just as ruthless, biting at his lips and tugging his hair hard enough to make him growl.
He eases you down when you moanâembarrassingly loudly, but you donât give a fuck. His hand slides under the waistband of your jeans, and you donât stop him. You let him tug them down, the denim sliding down your legs and pooling at your ankles. Mydei lifts you up, just so you stand on your tiptoes long enough for him to kick them aside. Every brush of his skin against yours feels like an assaultâevery touch a reminder of all the hurt, all the angerâbut you donât pull away.Â
You hate him. You love him. You need him.
His hands slide down to your thighs, gripping tight enough to leave marks, and then he pulls back, panting, his eyes dark and wild. Youâre wet by now, enough that your underwear feels cool from where a damp spot has formed already.
âYou always have to have the last fucking word, donât you?â he grits out.
You scoff. âSomeoneâs gotta knock you off your high horse.â
He huffs a laugh, but itâs rough. Without warning, he drops to his knees, his hands slipping under your thighs to keep you steady as he buries his face between your legs.
You gasp, one hand flying to the wall to brace yourself, the other still tangled in his hair. Mydei doesnât waste any timeâheâs ruthless, licking you through the fabric of your panties. It makes your head spin. You choke on a moan, trying to squirm, but he just tightens his grip, keeping you firmly in place.
âMydeiââ you start, but his teeth graze your inner thigh, and your words dissolve into a shuddering gasp.
âShut up,â he mutters, yanking your underwear to the side and pressing his mouth against your folds with a fierce sort of hunger. His tongue flicks over your clit, and your head falls back against the wall, a keening sound leaving your throat.
âGod, youâre such an asshole,â you manage to choke out, even as your thighs tremble around his head.
He laughs against you, the vibrations making you bite down on your lip to stifle a whimper. âYouâre still running your mouth,â he taunts, giving your thigh a squeeze. âWonder if I can make you shut up.â
He doubles down, sucking your clit between his lips and flicking his tongue in a manner that has you seeing stars. Your nails scrape against his scalp, and he just groans in response, the vibrations sending another shockwave through you. Your hips jerk forward. He grips you harder, dragging his mouth down to lick at your folds like heâs starved for it.
Your fingers tighten in his hair. You canât help the way you tug him closer, grinding against his face despite yourself. Mydei merely hums approvingly, his hands sliding under your ass to lift you higher, pressing you harder against the wall.
When his tongue dips inside your clenching hole, your knees almost give out, but he holds you steady, refusing to let you escape the overwhelming, maddening pleasure. Youâre barely breathing, trying to swallow down the sounds threatening to spill out, but when he curls his tongue just right, you canât stop the loud, desperate moan that breaks free.
He pulls back just enough to smirk up at you, his lips slick and his eyes burning. âYou done being a brat now?â
You glare down at him, panting and still shaking. âFuck you.â
His smirk only widens, and before you can blink, heâs pressing his mouth against you againârough, merciless, relentless. It doesnât take long before your vision blurs and your head tips back, his name tearing from your lips as you come against his mouth.
He doesnât stop until your thighs are trembling and your grip on his hair has gone slack, and even then, he licks you through the aftershocks like heâs addicted to the taste of you. When he finally pulls back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he stands, and says, âYouâll give me one more, wonât you?â
Your breath comes out in shallow pants. You can barely muster the energy to glare at him, but his smirk only grows as he straightens up, dragging his hands up your sides and pushing your shirt higher until itâs bunched under your arms. Youâre still too dazed to protest when he lifts it over your head, tossing it to the floor before his hands find your waist again, pulling you flush against him.
He dips down to kiss you, and you taste yourself on his lipsâsweet and dizzying all at once. Youâre still recovering from your climax, but it doesnât matterâhe kisses you like heâs making up for every second he hasnât touched you, rough and a little desperate, his hands squeezing your hips.
His hands slide up your back, finding the clasp of your bra. You donât even have time to catch your breath before he unhooks it and slides and straps down your arms, tossing it aside without a second thought. His mouth is back on yours in an instant, but his hands cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples in a way that makes your back arch off the wall.
You donât even think before your fingers find the hem of his shirt, pushing it up and over his head, and he helps you get it off before crashing his mouth against yours again. Your hands roam over his bare chest, feeling the hard lines of muscle and the rapid beat of his heart under your fingertips. His skin is warm and slightly slick with sweat, and you canât resist scraping your nails lightly down his abdomen just to feel him shiver.
He bites down on your lower lip in retaliation, and you gasp into his mouth. It earns you a low chuckle. Youâre about to shoot back with something sarcastic when his hands slide up to cup your breasts again, rolling your nipples between his fingers, and your retort dies in your throat.
âThought you were gonna give me attitude,â he murmurs against your mouth, lips curving into a cocky grin. âGuess you can be good when you want to.â
âShut up,â you breathe out, but your voice comes out shaky. He laughs softly, bending down to take one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud. Your hands fly back to his hair, fingers twisting in the strands, and he groans the tug.
Your hips buck against his, and he grinds back without hesitation, the hard line of his cock rubbing against your thigh through his jeans. You can feel just how badly he wants you; the thought sends another wave of heat flooding through your veins. You tug at his hair hard enough to make him look up at you, his lips red and swollen.
âQuit teasing,â you pant. Mydeiâs eyes flash with something dark and hungry.
He doesnât bother replyingâjust scoops you up effortlessly, wrapping your legs around his waist. His mouth is back on yours, demanding, and you feel him fumbling with his belt between your bodies. You donât have the patience to wait, so you reach down to help him, your hands brushing against his as you yank the buckle open and shove his jeans and briefs down just enough to free his cock.
He groans in relief when your hand wraps around his cock, stroking it slowly and spreading his pre-cum across the length. He bites back a curse. His hands tighten on your thighs, and you donât miss the way his muscles tense under your touch. You give him a little smirk, but it falters when he presses his tip against your entrance, not quite pushing in yet.
âAre you sure?â he asks, eyes roaming over your face.
You roll your eyes, grabbing his face and pulling him down into a bruising kiss. âIf you donât fuck me right now, I swearââ
You donât get to finish because he thrusts into you all at once, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Your head tips back against the wall, and Mydei buries his face in the crook of your neck, groaning against your skin as he adjusts to the tight warmth of your cunt. His breath is hot and ragged, each exhale brushing against your collarbone. His fingers dig into your thighs.
âFuck,â he rasps, voice rough and strained. His hips pull back just enough to drag his length almost completely out before he slams back in, his pace brutal from the start. The force of it makes your back scrape against the wall, and you can feel every inch of himâthick and girthy, splitting you open in a way that has your body straining towards him.
Your hands scrabble for purchase, nails leaving crescents on his shoulders as he sets a relentless rhythm, each thrust hitting deep and perfect. Youâre clinging to him, your legs tightening around his waist as he drives into you. The wet, obscene sounds of your skin against skin echo through the room, mingling with your breathless mons and his low groans.
âFuckâso tight,â he mutters against your skin, his mouth dragging along your throat, teeth scraping and biting hard enough to leave a slight stinging in their wake. âYou feel so fucking good. Sâlike you were made for me.â
You whimper, your hips rocking against his instinctively, desperate for more. You canât stop yourself from moaning his name shakily. It spurs him on. He grins against your neck, pressing a sloppy kiss to your pulse point before sucking a bruise into your skin.
âYeah? That good, huh?â he taunts, his tone mocking but laced with genuine awe. One of his hands slides from your waist to cup your breast, squeezing just enough to make you gasp. His thumb grazes over your nipple, and the sensation has your back arching off the wall, pushing your chest further into his hand.
Your head is spinning, pleasure coiling tight and hot in your belly as he fucks into you hard. You can feel every ride and vein dragging against your walls, every thrust forcing sounds out of you that you didnât even know you could make.
His mouth finds yours again; his teeth nip at your bottom lip before he slips his tongue inside. Youâre so lost in him, so overwhelmed, that it takes you a second to realise his other hand has slipped between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit and circling it with almost punishing pressure.
âFuckââ Your hands are back in his hair, tugging hard enough to make him hiss, but he doesnât let up, the rough pads of his fingers rubbing insistently as his cock drives into you again and again. âI canâtâfuck, Iâmââ
âGonna come again?â he growls against your mouth, his pace never faltering. âYouâre gonna come all over my cock, arenât you? Thatâs it. Good girl.â
His words make your thighs clench. Your climax comes over you without warning, tearing a strangled cry from your throat. Your walls clench around him, pulsing and fluttering as pleasure blazes through every nerve ending. You feel your thighs trembling where theyâre locked around his waist.
Mydei doesnât slow down; he just keeps fucking you through it, each thrust coaxing another wave of sensation that leaves you gasping and boneless in his grip. Your mind is a haze, barely able to process how good it feels to be taken like this. Youâre dimly aware of his breathing getting rougher, his hips stuttering as your body milks him.
You drag his face back to yours, capturing his lips in a desperate, messy kiss, biting until you taste copper. He groans into you. You feel him shudder just before his rhythm falters. With one last, deep snap of his hips, he buries his cock inside you, spilling hot and thick as his body shakes with the force of his release.
His forehead presses against yours as he catches his breath, both of you panting and trembling. He stays inside you, like heâs not quite ready to let you go, his hands sliding up your sides to hold you close. Youâre still reeling, your pulse racing, but you manage a small, satisfied smile, brushing your lips over his with a gentleness that almost feels out of place after what just happened.
For a long moment, neither of you moveâyou just breathe each other in, letting the remnants of pleasure tangle in the space between you. Finally, he pulls back enough to meet your gaze, his thumb brushing over your swollen lower lip.
âStill think Iâm running my mouth?â you whisper, still trying to muster some semblance of defiance.
Mydei simply nudges his nose against yours. âMaybe,â he says, a little bit hoarse, âbut at least I finally shut you up.â
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: âChrysos Heirs: The Reunion Tour â Behind the Music. Episode Two.â
[INT. STUDIO â DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, sitting on a stool.]
CASTORICE: You want to know about the relationships? (Grins) Oh, man. Itâs like a dysfunctional family reunion. Some of us slipped right back into old habits, and some of us⌠well, itâs complicated. Mydei and _____? (Snorts) Donât even get me started. You can feel the tension from three rooms away.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, sitting cross-legged on the floor.]
HYACINE: Thereâs definitely still some⌠uh, unresolved stuff. We used to be so tight. All of us. I mean, we fought, sure, but weâd always make up eventually. Now? I donât know. Itâs like everyoneâs got their guard up. Phainonâs doing his best to keep things light, Castorice just barrels through any tension like she doesnât notice, but Mydei and _____⌠(Pauses) Itâs like walking on eggshells around them.
[CUT TO: PHAINON, leaning back against the wall with his guitar across his lap.]
PHAINON: I think everyone kind of forgot how to be around each other. We spent years being everything to one anotherâfriends, family, bandmates, rivals. When the band split, it wasnât just the music that fell apart. It was us. Now itâs like⌠weâre all trying to figure out where we stand again. The way Castorice and Hyacine laugh like nothingâs changed, while Mydei and _____ act like theyâre on opposite sides of a war zone. Itâs exhausting.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, still slouched on a couch with his arms crossed.]
MYDEI: Iâm not gonna sit here and pretend everythingâs fine. Itâs not. The band breaking up after I left? Iâm sure that wasnât just some decision they made over drinks. Castorice acts like weâre one big happy family again, but she knows itâs not that simple. Phainonâs always the peacemaker, trying to smooth everything over, but that just makes it worse sometimes. I donât know.
[CUT TO: YOU, sitting on a folding chair.]
YOU: Itâs frustrating. We used to be so close. All of us. And now it feels like every word has teeth. Castorice is trying so hard to keep us from falling apart again, and Hyacineâs just⌠tired. Phainonâs stuck playing mediator, and Mydeiâ(shakes head)âhe still looks at me like itâs probably my fault. Maybe it is. But it wasnât just me who made it boil down to this.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE AGAIN, balancing her drumsticks on her finger.]
CASTORICE: Weâve always been a mess. Thatâs kind of our thing. But it used to be that we were messy together. Now it feels like weâre just trying not to accidentally set each other off. I miss how easy it used to be. Back when Mydei and _____ could actually talk without biting each otherâs heads off. Back when Hyacine would just crack a joke instead of staying quiet.
[CUT TO: HYACINE AGAIN, resting her chin on her hand.]
HYACINE: Sometimes it feels like weâre playing pretend. Like weâre trying to convince ourselves that weâre still friends when weâre really just⌠people who used to know each other. Cas keeps pushing for us to hang out after shows, but it never feels right. Everyoneâs just waiting for someone to break the silence. I donât know. Maybe itâll get better once weâve been on the road for longer.
[CUT TO: PHAINON AGAIN, eyes thoughtful as he fiddles with his guitar strap.]
PHAINON: I think everyoneâs just afraid to be the one who cares the most. Back in the day, we knew each other better than anyone else did. Now, itâs like weâre scared of stepping on each otherâs wounds. Mydeiâs carrying too much pride to apologise, and _____ is too stubborn to forgive. Castorice and Hyacine just want everyone to get alone, but no oneâs talking about the elephant in the room. Weâre good at pretending on stage, though. Real good.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, his jaw clenched, his eyes hard.]
MYDEI: You donât just come back from something like that. You donât go from being everything to each other to nothing without it leaving a scar. Iâm not saying itâs all her fault. (Hesitates) Iâm just saying that itâs easier to be mad than to admit I mightâve messed up, too. Thatâs why I keep my distance. Itâs just⌠easier that way.
[CUT TO: YOU, looking almost weary.]
YOU: I never thought it would feel this hollow. I donât know what I expectedâa clean slate, maybe? But it doesnât work like that. Weâre still carrying the past with us, and itâs dragging us down. I guess⌠I just wish heâd talk to me. Even if itâs to say he hates me. At least that would be something.
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, shrugging with a half-smile.]
CASTORICE: Whatever happens, Iâm not giving up. Weâre stuck with each other. Thatâs just how it is. Even if we have to scream it out or throw things at each other, weâre gonna make it work. Because the way they look at each other sometimes? Thereâs still something there. They just gotta get over themselves long enough to see it.
[CUT TO: PHAINON, adjusting his guitar.]
PHAINON: Theyâll figure it out. Weâre not just a bandâweâre more than that. And sometimes, being more means we break and put ourselves back together. Weâll get there.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, giving a faint smile.]
HYACINE: If we can just stop letting the past dictate everything, maybe we can start being friends again. Maybe more. I donât know. But I do know thisâon stage, weâre still the same. Maybe the music will help us remember how to be us again.
v). so i write him all these letters and i throw them in the trash.
When you stir in your sleep, the mattress beside you is cold.Â
Itâs lateâpast midnight, probably. Your stomach grumbles; you sit up and shuffle tiredly over to the mini-bar and grab a bag of salted cashew nuts, tearing it open. Thereâs no trace of Mydei. Itâs as if he was never here, didnât fuck you against the wall like it was all he could think of, didnât lay down on the bed next to you and curl a strong arm around your waist.
You wish you could say you were just disappointed. The truth is, you had expected nothing else, but disappointment still curls around your ribs.
Itâs stupid. You walk over to the glass table placed in front of the plush armchair towards the side of your bed. Thereâs a notepad and a slightly blunt pencil placed on top of it. You sink into the armchair, popping a handful of cashew nuts into your mouth and chewing.Â
The words should be flowing by nowâanger and frustration always make for good materialâbut tonight, theyâre stuck somewhere between your ribs, buried under the feeling of his mouth on your skin.
It shouldnât feel like this. You knew what you were getting into. You knew better than to expect anything else from him. But the way he kissed you, like he was trying to make you forget every fightâmade your chest ache. Youâre not surprised that heâs gone. Youâre not even hurt, really. Just angry. Angry at him for leaving without a word, angry at yourself for caring that he did. You shove a few more cashews into your mouth and wipe your fingers on your sweatpants before picking up the pencil.
Your hand moves almost without thinking, words scrawling across the page faster than you can catch up with them.
You look at me like Iâm your only song,
And I play the part even when it feels wrong.
Weâre always dancing on the edge of a goodbye,
But Iâd risk the fall just to feel you by my side.
You pause, glaring at the lyrics. You should throw the notepad across the room, rip the page out, crush it in your fist. Instead, you just sit there, tapping the pencil against your knee. You can still feel the way his mouth moved against yours, the bruising grip of his hands on your hips. You take a shaky breath and force yourself to keep writing. Itâs better than sitting here drowning in the memory of him.
Weâre tangled and twisted and never the same,
We love like it hurts and kiss through the pain.
Youâre poison and honey and everything wrong,
And I hate that youâre still the one I want.
The pencil scrapes harshly against the paper as you press harder than you mean to. The words taste bitter in your mouth, but at least theyâre honest. Maybe thatâs why itâs so hard to write them downâbecause admitting that you want more than just his hands on you feels like exposing a wound youâve been pretending doesnât exist.
You swallow down the knot in your throat and lean back, squeezing your eyes shut. It would almost be easier if you hated him. If you could just shove him out of your head and pretend he was nothing more than a bad decision. But itâs not that simple. You donât just want him; you want the old him, the one who used to light up when you walked into the room, who teased you until you were laughing so hard you couldnât breathe. You want the Mydei who didnât always look at you like youâre a problem he canât fix.
You know youâre being unfair. Heâs not the only one whoâs changed. Youâre not the same eitherâtoo guarded, too tired. Sometimes you wonder if youâre just setting yourself up for disappointment because itâs easier than admitting you still love him.
Your chest aches, and the next words come almost like a confession.
You look at me like Iâm the one youâve been missing,
Kiss me like Iâm the dream you keep wishing
Would come true when the lights fade awayâ
But you never stay.
You finish the verse and set the pencil down, pressing your fingertips to your lips like you can still taste him there.
You told yourself you wouldnât do this again. But he looked at you tonight like he was starvingâlike you were something he couldnât resist. And you let him have you because a part of you needed it, too. Needed to feel wanted, even if it was just for a few hours. Even if he was gone before you woke up.
You shove the notepad away, letting it fall to the floor as you curl up in the armchair, knees pulled to your chest. The song lingers in your head, the lyrics clawing at your heart. You feel ridiculous for letting him get under your skin like this, like a bruise that wonât heal.
The truth is, youâd let him hurt you a thousand times if it meant heâd look at you like that again. Like youâre the only thing keeping him alive. Maybe that makes you a fool, but you donât know how to be anything else when it comes to him.
Shaking your head as though to dissolve it of its thoughts, you tear out the sheet of paper with your lyrics on it, fold it into a square hastily, and shove it inside the pocket of your sweatpants. You stand up and grab your lighter from your bag. You need a smoke.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: âThe Foundersâ Cut.â
[INT. STUDIO â DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: YOU, sitting on a simple black stool, hands loosely clasped in your lap.]
YOU: Writing with Mydei⌠God, it used to be so easy. We didnât have to think about it. (Smiles softly) Weâd just be sitting on the floor of his shitty apartmentâbarely any furniture, just the couch his neighbour was gonna throw out and that one rug we stole from Hyacineâs place. One of us would pick up the guitar, start playing something, and it was like everything else just faded out.
INTERVIEWER (off-screen): Was it always that natural?
YOU: (Nods) Yeah. It just worked. Sometimes we didnât even talk before starting a song. Iâd be on the floor, writing down whatever came to mind, and heâd be next to me, leaning against the wall with his guitar. Sometimes Iâd hum something, and heâd justâpick it up. It was like we were reading each otherâs minds.
[CUT TO: MYDEI, sitting with his back slightly hunched, elbows on his knees.]
MYDEI: We wrote some of our best songs at 3 A.M, dead tired, arguing about lyrics while eating instant ramen. Sheâd always overthink the wordsâhad to make sure they said exactly what she wanted. I didnât care as much. I guess I figured the feeling mattered more than getting every word right.
INTERVIEWER: Do you have an example for the same?
MYDEI: There was this one song (pauses, shakes his head). We wrote it after this stupid fight. Iâd stormed out, pissed as hell, but when I came back, she was sitting on the floor, scribbling lyrics like her life depended on it. I didnât say anything. Just sat down and played along with whatever she was humming. Neither of us apologised, but⌠I guess that was our way of making up.
[CUT TO: YOU]
YOU: We never talked about it, you know? Weâd write all these songs that were practically confessionsâabout each other, about how much it hurt when we fought, or how we couldnât stand being apartâand then weâd just⌠move on. Never acknowledged it.
INTERVIEWER: Do you regret that?
YOU: (Hesitates) Sometimes. But the songs made it pretty obvious. We were practically begging each other to figure it out without actually saying it.
[CUT TO: MYDEI]
MYDEI: She always wrote like it was her way of⌠bleeding out whatever she couldnât say. We made something good out of it, though. Even if we never said it out loud. And⌠yeah. Sometimes I miss that. The simplicity of it. Just us and a guitar and whatever shit we were working through. I didnât need anything else back then.
[CUT TO: YOU]
YOU: Itâs funny. We used to write about heartbreak like it was this distant conceptâsomething that happened to other people. Never thought weâd end up writing about each other.
vi). i want to get him back (and then?)
The rooftop is quiet at this hourâtoo early for most and too late for the rest. The sky is more navy than blue, more shadow than light. You push the heavy metal door open with your shoulder, and it clicks shut behind you with a soft thud. You tug your hoodie tighter around you, retreating into the warmth, and dig around in your pocket for your cigarettes.
The lighter sparks on the second try. You inhale. Smoke fills your lungs, and something in you loosens. You hate how easy it still is to find comfort in bad habits.
Thatâs when you notice him.
At first, itâs just the faint glow of a cigarette at the far corner of the rooftop. But you know itâs himâknow it in the shape of his silhouette, the way he leans forward with one elbow braced on the ledge, hoodie pulled low over his face. Mydei. Of course.
You hesitate for a beat, frozen halfway between the door and where he stands. It would be easier to leaveâpretend you didnât see him, pretend you didnât spend the night tangled up in him and then wake up to cold sheets and silence.
But you donât.
Your steps are quiet as you cross the rooftop, stopping a few feet away from him. He doesnât look at you, just exhales slowly, eyes on the horizon. You take a drag from your cigarette, watching the tip burn orange, watching the smoke curl upwards and vanish into the sky.
âWhyâd you leave?â you ask. You mean the hotel room, but not only that.
Heâs quiet for a long time. You wonder if heâs even going to answer.
âI didnât want to wake you,â he says eventually, still not looking at you.
You huff a breath. Itâs not quite a laugh. âYou didnât want to be there.â
He doesnât argue. The silence stretches again, but itâs not uncomfortable. Just tired. He glances at you. The wind picks up a little, brushing your hair across your cheek. He noticesâalways noticesâand shifts just slightly so heâs blocking the breeze. Neither of you says anything about it.
âYou looked peaceful,â Mydei says. âI didnât want to mess it up.â
âYou think not being there was better?â
âI didnât know what to say.â
You nod. You donât push. Youâve learned not to with him. âItâs not just about tonight,â you say quietly.
He nods, eyes dark and shadowed. âI know.â
The sun starts to edge over the horizon, painting faint streaks of pink and orange across the navy sky. Itâs beautiful in that fragile, fleeting way, like something youâre scared to touch because you know itâs too delicate to last. You both watch in silence for a while, letting the smoke and the light fill the air between you. Thereâs a comfort in it, strangely enough. The way the world keeps turning even when your heart feels like itâs stuck. The way mornings come anyway.
You look at Mydei again.
Heâs tired. You can see it in the curve of his mouth, in the slump of his shoulders. But heâs here. Part of you wants to ask him why. Why he came up here. Why he didnât leave the hotel entirely. Why he lets himself touch you but wonât let himself stay. Instead, you say nothing.
He offers you his lighter when yours gives out, and your fingers brush when you take it. Itâs a brief touch, barely there, but itâs enough to make your chest ache in that too-familiar way.
You smoke the rest of your cigarettes side by side, not speaking, not needing to. Itâs the kind of silence that used to exist between songs in the studio. When you stub the last bit out on the ledge, you take one last look at the sunrise. The light catches on his face now, gold and soft, and you want to say something. You donât even know what.
So instead, you pull your hoodie tighter and nod. âI should go.â
He nods too, but he doesnât move. Doesnât stop you either.
You turn back towards the door, and as you do, a folded piece of paper slips from your pocket. You donât notice it fall, fluttering once before landing gently near his feet. You donât notice it, because youâre too busy disappearing back into the stairwell, too wrapped up in keeping your shoulders straight and your breathing steady.
He doesnât move for a while after youâre gone.
Then, slowly, Mydei leans down and picks up the paper. The handwriting is unmistakableâyour quick, slanted script, a few smudges where the pencil dragged.
He reads it once. Twice.
Then he folds it back up, holds it in his hand like it might crumble, and watches the sun break over the city, alone.
The lights shift from the vibrant spotlights of the previous set into something softer, slowerâdimmed gold and dusky purple spreading like ink over the stage. Your mic is cold under your fingers. You roll the cord absently through your hand. You canât see much beyond the footlights; only the sea of shadows, the faint outlines of swaying arms and cell phone lights blinking like stars.
But Mydeiâs there, across from you. This next song is just you and him, after all.
Heâs adjusting the strap of his guitar, head bowed, eyes hidden beneath the fall of his hair.
Itâs the same stage. The same lights. The same song. Why does it feel so different?
The crowd doesnât know what theyâre about to hear. Most of them donât even know the song, youâre pretty sure. Itâs some B-side from one of your earlier albums. You remember when you wrote it. The quiet of three in the morning, the late-night arguments that bled into music, the unraveling of two people who couldnât speak to each other unless it was in chords and half-rhymed lines.
Here you are again. Older. Worse at pretending.
The intro begins with gentle chords, the kind that hurt more than they soothe. Your mic is already at your lips. You inhale like itâs your first breath of the night.
âI told myself I wouldnât care this time,
Said your name like it didnât still taste like goodbye.
But you look at me like you never learned how to let goâŚâ
Your voice holds, though it feels like walking a tightrope. Every word comes out measured, like if you let it slip, your heart will come out tumbling too. You donât look at him, not yet. You can feel his presenceâlike gravityâbut you donât turn your head.
Not until he sings. Then, you do. He meets your gaze.
âI said we were fire meant to burn out fast,
But I keep finding you in every song Iâve written last.
You donât ask me to stay, and I donât ask you to tryâŚ
But weâre still standing here, pretending weâre fine.â
His voiceâGod, his voice. Itâs rougher than it used to be, edges carved by years and distance, but it still wraps around your lyrics like it was always meant to. Heâs not just singing. Heâs looking at you like heâs saying every word for the first time. It knocks the air from your lungs.
Your heartâs pounding now, and you hate that it still reacts to him like this. Like your body remembers the way he used to hold you when no one else was watching.Â
The chorus crashes over both of you.
âSo lie to me, baby, say itâs still love,
Say the ending never mattered, that this beginningâs enough.
We were smoke, we were stars, we were doomed from the start,
But tonight, just tonight, sing like you still mean every part.â
Mydei steps closer. You do, too. Itâs instinct, not plan. You donât even realise it until youâre nearly toe-to-toe, voices tangling into harmony, eyes locked.
You wonder if the crowd can feel it. If they can hear the way your throat tightens, how the vowels tremble when he looks at you like that. Like heâs trying to remember the shape of youânot just your face, but your soul. The bridge comes. You always dreaded it.
âMaybe weâll break like we always do,
Maybe weâll forget this in the morning too.
But for nowâGod, for nowâ
You still feel like a home I never knew.â
The line lands like a punch to the chest. Yours, and maybe his too.
You let it ring out, raw and full. For a second, it feels like the two of you are back in that tiny studio years agoâbarefoot, angry, tired, in love. Writing a song you were both too scared to mean. But you meant it. You always did, and you do now.
The last chorus is quieter, a lullaby instead of a plea.
âAnd Iâd sing this with you a thousand times⌠if youâd let me.â
You drop your hand from the mic, breath catching in your throat, and for a momentâjust a momentâthereâs silence. Just you and Mydei.
He doesnât move. Heâs staring at you with something unspoken lodged in his eyes, something that looks too close to regret.
You turn away first. Your heartâs already too full. One more second and it might burst.
The crowd roars behind you, applause crashing in waves.
[CUT TO BLACK SCREEN]
Text appears on screen: âThe Membersâ Cut.â
[INT. STUDIO â DOCUMENTARY INTERVIEW SETUP]
[CUT TO: CASTORICE, lounging back on the couch.]
CASTORICE: It was just a fact. Mydei and _____. You didnât say one name without the other. (Shakes her head) And the way they used to look at each other on stage? Insane. Like, weâd be in the middle of a song, and Iâd be watching them instead of playing because damn. The rest of us couldâve vanished into thin air, and they wouldnât have noticed.
(Laughs lightly, rolling her eyes.)
CASTORICE (CONTâD): It was kinda funny, actually. Like, okay, we get it, youâre in love. Can we get through the set without you two making heart eyes at each other? (Pause) But, yâknow⌠it was also kinda nice. Seeing people that in sync. That kind of connection isnât something you fake.
[CUT TO: HYACINE, sitting cross-legged on the floor, bass resting on her lap.]
HYACINE: They were disgusting. I mean that in the nicest way possible. (Grinning) Like, youâd be tuning your guitar, and theyâd just be standing off to the side, whispering to each other like they werenât literally about to perform in front of thousands of people. And yeah, sure, couples sing duets all the time, but with them? It was different. Like they were letting us in on something private, something meant just for them. Even if it was a song theyâd performed a hundred times before, it always felt like they were saying something new.
(Chuckles, eyes soft with nostalgia.)
HYACINE (CONTâD): They made you believe in that kind of love, yâknow? The all-consuming, this-song-is-about-you kind of love. You couldnât want them and not feel it.
[CUT TO: PHAINON, sitting with his arms draped over the back of the chair, smirking lightly.]
PHAINON: Yeah, they were that couple. The ones who made you roll your eyes but also kind of wish you had what they had. Like, I remember this one showâMydei had just finished this crazy guitar solo, and instead of, I donât know, reveling in the applause like a normal person, he immediately turned to _____ like she was the only one whose reaction mattered. And she just grinned at him, and I swear to God, he looked like he won the lottery.
(Shakes his head and scoffs.)
PHAINON (CONTâD): They were reckless with it. Loud about it. No hesitation, no holding back. They didnât just love each other, they showed it. And thatâs rare. You donât get that kind of honesty on stage very often.
(His smirk fades just slightly.)
PHAINON (CONTâD):  âŚThatâs why it was so hard when it ended.
vii). âcause i miss the way he kisses and the way he made me laugh.
The crowd is louder tonight. Not louder in volume, necessarily, but just⌠like theyâre expecting something. Like they know something you donât.
You glance at the setlist as someone does your in-ear check. Your duet with Mydei is coming up nextâthe same one youâve done every night for years. Itâs not your most popular song, but itâs yours. It always has been. Something about it felt safe even now, when everything else between you and him was held together with duct tape and willpower.
You take a sip of water and step towards the side of the stage, waiting for the intro cues.
But when you hear the first notes, theyâre not yours.
Your stomach drops. The chord progression is soft, a little unfamiliar. Itâs not one of your tracks, or a part of the agreed setlist.
Your gaze snapes to the center of the stage where Mydei standsâguitar in hand, face calm. Heâs adjusted his mic, and heâs⌠smiling? Not a grin. Nothing cocky. Just this small, quiet thing, like heâs doing something that matters to him more than heâs ready to admit.
âThis oneâs not on the list,â he says into the mic, casual, like this doesnât upend everything. âI wanted to try something new tonight.â
Your brow furrows. You step a little closer, careful not to draw a scene. Castorice gives you a sharp look from behind her kit, like, Did you know about this? You shake your head once.Â
Mydei starts to sing.
âYou look at me like Iâm your only song,
And I play the part even when it feels wrong.â
It hits you like a punch to the ribs.
That lyric. That exact line. You know it because you wrote it, alone. In that hotel room weeks ago, scrawled in a burst of emotion you werenât proud of, folded up and shoved into the pocket of your sweatpants. Youâd thought it got tossed in the wash or lost somewhere in the shuffle between cities.
Apparently not. Apparently he found it. And instead of asking youâlike a normal person wouldâhe set it to music. He built a melody around your bleeding heart and decided to sing it to a crowd of thousands.
âWeâre tangled and twisted and never the same,
We love like it hurts and kiss through the pain.
Youâre poison and honey and everything wrong,
And I hate that youâre still the one I want.â
Itâs a beautiful melody, and you feel something inside your chest twist, hard. He sings softly but unsteadily, like he wasnât sure that youâd hear itâor worse, that you would.
He doesnât look at you while he sings. He scans the crowd, eyes on the horizon. But the meaning is clear. You can feel it in the tightness in your chest, in the hush thatâs fallen over the audience, like they know this isnât just a love song.
You fold your arms over your chest, more for grounding than anything. Castorice doesnât play a beat. Hyacine and Phainon watch silently, hands loose on their instruments like theyâre ready to jump in if needed, but they donât. Neither of you do.
This is his moment, and your words.
âYou look at me like Iâm the one youâve been missing,
Kiss me like Iâm the dream you keep wishing
Would come true when the lights fade awayâ
But you never stay.â
You exhale shakily. You feel exposed, as if youâre standing naked in front of an entire arena. The words werenât just lyricsâthey were confessions. Grudges. Regrets. Things you never had the guts to say out loud. And here Mydei is, saying them for you.
No. Singing them.
Your fingers curl into your palms. You donât know whether to be furious or deeply, deeply moved.Â
He finishes the song in a whisper, almost. The last chord rings out like an unanswered question. The audience is silent for a beat too long. Then they eruptâwhistling, cheering, screaming. Itâs a standing ovation for something they didnât even know was a story.
And still, Mydei hasnât looked at youâuntil now.
He turns, finally, just a little, and meets your eyes across the stage. You donât smile. You donât clap. You just stare at him, speechless and conflicted.
Then, Mydei steps back from the mic and gives the signal to move on with the set. You turn your face away before the next lights come up, blinking hard. Your heartâs racing. You donât know what happens after this; what this means; what youâre supposed to say.
You only know one thing: That song was yours, and now, itâs his, too.
The hallway outside the dressing rooms is buzzingâcrew rushing around, the muffled roar of the crowd still seeping through the walls, someone shouting about cords and lights and encores. But all you can hear is the blood in your ears and your name echoing in Mydeiâs voice as he sang your lyrics.
His voice, but your words. Your heart on a scrap of paper you never meant for anyone else to see.
Your footsteps are harsh against the floor as you turn the corner and push the door open. The dressing room is too bright, too sterile compared to the intimacy of the stage. Mydei stands with his back to you, shirt clinging to his skin with sweat, hair pushed off his forehead like he ran his fingers through it too many times.
You close the door behind you with a click. Quiet, but final. He hears it.
âHey,â he says, not turning around yet.
You stare at the back of his head. âDonât do that to me.â
Mydei pauses. Slowly, he turns to face you. âI figured youâd be mad.â
âMad?â You laugh, breath catching somewhere in your throat. âYou think Iâm mad?â
âYou look mad.â
âI am mad,â you snap, taking a step closer, heart pounding. âYou sang a song you werenât supposed to have. You didnât even ask me, Mydei. You justâjust stood there and threw it at me in front of ten thousand people like it meant nothing.â
âIt didnât mean nothing,â he says. âThatâs why I sang it.â
Youâre both quiet. The silence stretches and tightens until itâs almost unbearable.
âYou couldâve told me,â you say finally, voice hoarse. âYou couldâve talked to me. About the song. About anything. But you donât. You never do.â
Mydei exhales slowly, resting his hands on his hips like heâs bracing himself. âI didnât know how.â
You tilt your head, lips parting in disbelief. âThatâs such bullshit, Mydei. We wrote songs together. We told each other everything through music. And now youâre justâstanding there, acting like itâs some impossible thing.â
He looks at you, then. Really looks. And for a moment, heâs not the cold, distant version of himself heâs been for months. Heâs just him. The boy who used to fall asleep beside you in the tour van. The one who hummed half-finished melodies in your ear at midnight in whatever motel you were crashing in. The one who used to kiss you like the world might end before morning.
âI didnât know how to say I missed you,â he admits. âSo I used your words instead. Because mine never come out right.â
You donât want to forgive him. You really donât.
But the hurt in his voice is real. So is the way heâs looking at youâlike youâve always been the only person in the room, and heâs just been waiting to see you again for real.
You take one shaky step forward. Then another.
When your lips crash into his, it isnât careful or slow. Itâs everything youâve been holding back: Rage, longing, grief, hope. His hands find your face, yours grip his shirt, and everything around you blurs until itâs just him, just the warmth of his mouth and the softness of his sighs and the undeniable truth that this still feels like home.
You part, breathless.
Neither of you speaks at first. Youâre still close enough to feel his breath on your cheek, the heat of his skin under your fingertips.Â
Your voice comes out quieter than you intend when you tell him, âI want to get you back.â
Mydei doesnât hesitate. âYou already have.â
It hits you harder than the kiss did. Something cracks inside youâsomething small and soft and long-buried. You almost donât realise youâre crying until he wipes your cheek with the back of his hand.
You let out a breath, something between a laugh and a sob. âIâm still mad at you.â
âI know.â His thumb traces the edge of your jaw. âYouâre allowed to be.â
You step back first, gently. He lets you go, but his eyes follow you like heâs afraid youâll vanish if he blinks.
As you adjust your jacket and run a hand through your hair, something slips from your pocketâfolded paper, creased from being handled too many times. You donât notice, but Mydei does.
He kneels to pick it up after youâre gone, quietly unfolding it to find another unfinished song. Lyrics in your handwriting. His name, half-crossed out and rewritten three times.
He reads the first line. Smiles.
He doesnât hand it back to you. He tucks it into his jacket, like he already knows how it ends.
[CUT TO BLACK]
Text appears on screen: âChrysos Heirs: The Reunion Tour. THE END.â
⢠a/n: as per usual, thank you to @lotusteabag for being my #1 cheerleader and supporter throughout the entire time i was writing this fic. thank you for reading & i hope you have a wonderful day!
imagine him holding your baby cousins or nieces and nephews and they all call him kuya hajimeâŚyeahâŚthatâs good shit
always blesses
will dance cariĂąosa and sayaw sa bangko with you even if heâs bad at it (super excited on the inside. will have a heart attack every other second thoughâŚare his hands sweaty? is he smiling too much? is he not smiling enough? did he lift you too strongly? what if you fall off the bench?)
(he was worried about the wrong person falling off the bench. while he was thinking about this, he missed his footing and fell on his butt.) (heâs fine)
youâll see him in his pambahay one way or another. ratty ass t-shirt or sando with basketball shorts and tsinelas that he flips up from his foot to catch and point at tooru for dramatics
legs of steel. definitely has those calves and thighsâŚsigh đ
doesnât really like eating whole fishâŚhe likes the fish, donât get him wrong, itâs just the process of removing the meat from the bone and all. but if you donât know how to/like taking the meat off the bone, heâll do it for you. likes the crunchies so if you like the belly or head meat you guys are perfect
before a party, the two of you are probably in a corner of the kitchen rolling lumpia and/or turon. heâs really good at folding the rice paper
walis warrior! if you donât like sweeping, heâs the man for you
he DEFINITELY smells like katinko in the summer. barely has to put it on cuz he rarely gets bitten but never likes the feeling of even one itchy bite. drown that hoe in menthol!!
awkward pictures alllll the time. he can walk near a sign that says california or something and his mom will make him stand and smile in front of it
his mom also told her friends hajime plays volleyball and then told him to play volleyball for them. âmom itâs notâ huh?? i canât play FOR them, itâs not performative!â
it might be a little annoying sometimes when he comes off as unnecessarily mean or overprotective when he tells you (in a harsh voice) to move away from the road or lock your car doors but he just cares and doesnât know how to show it
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thereâs a strange kind of tautness that pulls at GEPARDâs shoulders. itâs heavy, almost like a ton of bricks pressing down against his skin, suffocating him, but not quiteâitâs more subtle, more dull. somehow that only makes him feel more uneasy. he swallows all of it down, tries his best to get rid of the feeling. itâs the only thing he knows how to do. he reaches out to knock at your door. his movements are stiff. the thud of the wood is hollow. the weight on his shoulders only grows stronger as he waits for something and everything at the same time. finally he hears a faint sound.
his first instinct is self-preservation. his hand thoughtlessly moves to grip his weapon, before loosening its grip. perhaps his paranoia is entirely unjustified, irrational even. especially when the door opens to reveal you. the smile you give him is bright, and genuine, and gepard almost thinks itâs misplaced. kindness was dangerous in such an unpredictable world.
still he wonders why his heart feels just a little bit warmer, why he tries his best to return your smile even though every part of him argues against it. it was such a meager, trivial action, and yet deep down heâs not dense enough to overlook its significance. he canât help but allow his hopes to soar just for a fleeting moment, glancing at the rosy version of reality those hopes offered. but then something seems to change. your smile disappears, and your brows furrow with palpable concern, and youâre opening your mouthâ
âdo you mind if i come in?â
the words spill from gepardâs lips instead. theyâre messily strung together, accentuated with a slight tremble in his voice, and he hopes that he doesnât come across as desperate. the sound of the wind drifting by suddenly seems all too loud. he has to stop himself from drumming his fingers against his thigh like an anxious child.
finally, you give him another smile. but this oneâs differentâitâs delicate, tender, yet almost perceptive, as if you know just how overwhelmed heâs felt recently. there was just so much to worry about, so much to do, all in so little time. that and the fact that sometimes, on the darkest and coldest of nights, after heâs finished cleaning up his wounds, he had to question whether each day would be the last. gepard watches, almost in slow motion, as you reach out, your fingers ever so gently intertwining with his. and, truly, he canât remember a time when he was treated like thisâlike he was delicate. normally he likely would have taken offense, would have reprimanded you in the unforgiving tone he uses with everyone else. it was blasphemy to treat the captain of the silvermane guards with such tenderness. or at least, it should have been.
but gepard doesnât care. he lets his fingers wrap around yours, lets himself be pulled into the warmth of your home. outside, through the crack in your window, he can still hear the sound of the wind passing by. itâs like a quiet song, humming softly, offering solace as the night sky surrounds the city of belobog.
authorâs note: this was written out of sheer impulse but iâm proud of it. title is based off the song âwhere we goâ by p!nk. hope u guys liked this <3
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hello!! :) new follower here bc i literally just discovered your blog a few seconds ago 𼴠i saw that your 100 followers event was closing today (congrats btw! đŤś) so i wanted to see if i could slide in a last minute requestâchocolate & karaoke!! tysm if you do this
VACATION (FT. MIYA OSAMU)
chocolate â miya osamu
karaoke â vacation
synopsis: the beauty of summers and vacations with miya osamu. post-timeskip, pre-established relationship, fluff
word count: 1280
they say falling in love is like falling asleep. it happens slowly, then all at once.
they also say summers are magical. thereâs something about the wind in your hair, the light on your face, a cold treat in hand and an ethereal sunset that hits different. when you were little, summer was special because you didnât have school the entire month of august. now, summer is special because thatâs when you met miya osamu.
the first time you see him, heâs tearing through the park as fast as he can, another guy who looks just like him running next to him. you donât see him; youâre off in your own little world, only jerked back to reality when he slams into you. you yelp in surprise as youâre knocked down.
he slows to a stop and whirls around, eyes wide. âshit, iâm sorry,â he mutters, clumsily helping you up. âyou okay?â
âyeah,â you say breathlessly, the wind having been knocked out of you. you try for a joke. âwhy are you running so fast? escaping the cops?â
he blinks in surprise, then laughs. itâs a beautiful sound, you notice, as he reaches up to brush his sweaty hair out of his face. ânah, just my annoying brother. weâre practicing for volleyball. didnât make it as far as we wanted to last year at nationals, but weâre going all the way this year.â
you wish him good luck. if he regularly goes to nationals, he must be pretty darn good, you think. you turn around to leave.
âwait!â he calls you back. âdâyou think i could get your number? let me apologize properly by taking you out sometime.â
you blush heavily as you put your number into his phone. he flashes you a grin and thanks you earnestly, before taking off again--heâs long been left in the dust by his brother by this point. true to his word, he takes you out on a picnic date a couple of days later; he brings homemade onigiri, which is the best thing youâve ever tasted, and you sit in the park for hours and just talk.
that was years ago. you were in high school when you met, young and carefree. now youâve recently graduated college and are trying to balance your hectic work life with your personal life with osamu. given his talent at cooking, itâs no wonder he opened his own restaurant. times have been tough, for sure, especially when he was just starting up, but youâve stuck together through thick and thin. youâll make it through this rough patch in your life, too. you know it. sometimes it just doesnât feel that way.
he notices youâre stressed, and--bless him--he does everything he can to take things off your plate. you come home and thereâs always a hot, delicious meal waiting for you. he gives you back massages and always makes sure youâre tucked into bed nicely. but recently youâve been feeling stuck, cooped up in your house and your office.
âitâs almost summer,â osamu says one night when youâre laying in bed together. âletâs go somewhere.â
âgo somewhere?â you frown. âwhere?â
âanywhere. even if itâs just for a weekend. just to get away. think we could both use it.â
you donât argue with that. you could get some time off at your workplace, and osamu was free to leave his restaurant in his employeesâ hands whenever he felt comfortable. âletâs go to a beach,â you mumble into his shoulder. âsomewhere we can smell the ocean and see the sunset. we can have a picnic and you can make your onigiri. we used to do that all the time back in high school.â
âyeah, high school. . .â osamu murmurs. he doesnât speak again, and soon soft snores fill the room. you close your eyes and fall asleep not long after.
a couple weeks later, you set out your picnic blanket on the sand of takeno coast, in toyooka. it wasnât far--also in hyĹgo prefecture--and youâd heard great things about it, so you had decided to go for a weekend getaway together.
as the sun starts to set, spreading a brilliant pink and orange glow over the world, osamu opens up the container of homemade onigiri he had brought. he hands you one and takes one for himself. you take a bite and lean against him, melting into his body. he wraps his arms around you as you curl up together, quietly enjoying each otherâs company.
ââsamu?â you whisper. he hums in response. âdo you ever miss high school?â
âhigh school?â he frowns, tilting his head. âsometimes. why, do you?â
you shrug. âi miss the simplicity of it,â you admit. âthe only thing i had to worry about was how well i was going to do on my calculus exam. i had you, and i had a bunch of friends and my parents. i didnât have to worry about bills. life was pretty good.â
âmaybe,â he agrees. âbut i like life right now more. i get to do what i love and make money off of it. i get to spend more time with you. we get to live our own lives, make our own choices. ainât that the beauty of living?â
you shrug, squinting your eyes at the sunlight. âdo you ever feel like youâre not enough? like when you were playing volleyball, or when you were just starting up the restaurant?â
osamu thinks about this question seriously. âi did,â he admits. âin both those instances. you know what kita-san would always say about volleyball, though?â and when you shake your head, he tells you: âheâd say that he was a mortal who stumbled upon a world of monsters, monsters who love volleyball day after day. he was talking about me, ya know, me and âtsumu, but i realized that in my world, iâm not a monster. iâm the mortal. âtsumu is the monster. and iâm okay with that. i could never go professional like âtsumu, but thatâs because iâm not meant to. and i didnât really want to, anyway. i took a chance on starting the restaurant because thatâs what i wanted to do, and now iâm having the time of my life doing it. it just takes a little patience and courage. you like your job, dontcha?â
âi do,â you say. âi guess it just feels like a lot since iâm just starting out.â
âeveryone feels that way at one point,â he insists. âgive it some time, baby. soon youâll feel like thereâs nowhere else you belong.â
you nod, comforted by osamuâs words. âthank you, âsamu,â you whisper. âyou always know how to cheer me up.â
he kisses you. âlove ya,â he whispers.
âlove you too.â
itâs always the little things osamu does that makes your heart swoon. atsumu would do big, grand gestures: serenades in the street; large bouquets of flowers on every date; blowing kisses to you while heâs onscreen at a volleyball game. osamu does the little things: cook for you; be there for you; take you for a quick vacation to ease your restless mind. everything he does speaks to you; you see the love and care he puts into everything he does for you and everything he says.
your relationship started out rather slow; you went on dates a lot, but you took your time getting into anything serious. that was, until, osamu blurted out that he loved you one day after winning a big game. then you picked up speed, never stopping or looking back.
they say falling in love is like falling asleep. it happens slowly, then all at once. and this summer, your beloved, magical summer, you fall in love again.
It's fanfiction it doesn't have to be perfect it doesn't have to be accurate this is a hobby you're doing this for fun it's okay if it isn't perfect and polished you're doing it for fun [talking to myself in the mirror]
Okay pretend this is like, when the 100-year war is about to start, so the Air Nomads are still around.
Kuroko: Non-bender from the Southern Water Tribe. He's really determined about stopping the Fire Nation and learns how to use long range weapons that are easy to carry. I really want to say Boomerang.
Kagami: FIRE-BENDER there is literally no other option. He's actually the son of an Fire Nation soldier and Earth Kingdom woman and was supposed to be from the colonies but his parents died, and he got adopted by Alex, who's an Air Nomad.
Kise: Waterbender from the Northern Water Tribe. He's not a prince but he's definitely nobility. He's mastered pretty much every form of sub-bending for waterbending; except the plant manipulation and blood-bending.
Midorima: Earthbender, like, what else? He's the son of an Earth Kingdom nobleman who's ruling a Fire Nation colony, therefore he's sort of friends with Fire Nation royalty.
Aomine: Waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe. His mom is chief and he's a bit of spoilt brat. He's the best bender they have and he's itching for adventure outside of their home to really test out his waterbending skills. He joins Kuroko when Kuroko heads out to check wtf is going on with the Fire Nation recently.
Momoi: Non-bender scholar, trained in hand-to-hand. Though she isn't a bender, she observed the waterbender healers and figured out how to do chi-blocking. She joins Aomine and Kuroko when they head out to ensure they don't do anything extremely stupid and die at sea.
Murasakibara: Airbender who sticks to the the Air Temple he was born in. Hella chill, very mellow, he's an expert in pulling pranks whenever he's bored and very good at baking pies.
Akashi: Prince of the Fire Nation, Firebender. He's mastered lightning-bending and is extremely obedient to his dad. He used to be friends with kids from the other nation(*ahem* GoM) when he was around 10 but his dad cut off all connection because he was, ya know, planning on starting the 100-year war.
Haizaki: Waterbender from the Northern Water Tribe. He's not a noble and is highly competitive with Kise, whom he can never defeat. Their training was very similar and they're both some of the best benders but Haizaki is heavily focused on combat and never even attempts healing(which is why he can't reach Kise's level, Kise figured out newer techniques because of the healing thing).
Kiyoshi: THE AVATAR!!! No it's not just because his name sounds like 'Kyoshi'. He's from an Earth Kingdom town and knows he's the Avatar pretty early but he doesn't make a big deal about it. Then the Fire Nation starts decimating the Air Nomads and RIko urges him to start learning. Kiyoshi is honestly the only person who can be trusted with this amount of power and is closest in temperament to Aang. He's froma humble background and just wants to ensure everyone gets to live peacefully.
Riko: Non-bender who's a student, she learned about all sorts of bending styles out of curiosity and even trained with a sword on her own time with her dad. She's the one who plotted the training regimen for Kiyoshi's Avatar training.
Hyuuga: A Fire Nation, non-bender soldier who Kiyoshi and Riko run into on their travels to find a firebending teacher. Hyuuga is getting very suspicious about his new orders about conquering Earth Kingdom territories, but is initially reluctant to defy. But then he sees Kiyoshi and Riko, and the three get into some trouble and Hyuuga decides to join the two, having realized that the Fire Nation is getting ready for an all-out-war against the Air Nomads.
Himuro: He's the illegitimate child of a Northern Water Tribe noblewoman. She had met a Fire Nation soldier and the two had an affair. She had Himuro but abandoned him, and he was taken away by sailors to be raised in the Earth Kingdom. Himuro grew up on the streets and on pirate ships, with only a betrothal necklace from his mom to know of his heritage which was given by the soldier. He hates the water tribe for abandoning him, and is later taken in by Alex. So he sorta grows up with Alex and he later realizes Kagami's dad is actually also his dad, and that his dad was chased away from the NWT and began another life with Kagami's mom.
Nijimura: Earthbender who's from a downtrodden background. His dad works in crystal mines but is growing weaker. Nijimura had to take over his dad's work and while mining, he became an expert in bending crystals and other non-generic forms of earth.
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I feel like a fic about Atsumu, Oikawa, and Bokuto finding their s/o reading fanfic about them would be hilarious
(You donât have to do it if you donât want to <3)
Have a lovely day and thank you if you end up doing this request <33333
a fantasy world
content info â gender neutral! reader, fluffy hq!! drabbles with some crack & hurt/comfort (sounds weird but bear w it, all separate). a teeny tiny bit suggestive in atsumu's part cuz he's a little shit.
word count â 1.9k words.
authorâs note â holy HELL this is so late đ anon i hope ur still here, i made this pretty long so that's my way of apologizing. im also praying that atsumu is in character because this is only the second time ive written him. anyway, tysm for requesting!! hope u all like this <3
MIYA ATSUMU
your eyes are obstinately glued to your phone, wholly transfixed by the words that were typed across the screen. not a single soul knew about your little hobby and quite frankly, it was likely better that they remained oblivious. you wouldnât know how to react if anyone found out, but really, there was one particular person who absolutely had to stay unaware.
as it turns out, they were also the very subject of the story youâre currently readingâof course, none other than your sweet, beloved boyfriend, atsumu. not that the term âsweetâ was an especially fitting term for him. ooh, that was a sick burn.
now, obviously you loved the boy. atsumu was bold, intelligent, thoughtful, hardworking, and affectionate to the point where osamu and the rest of his team often complained about how shameless he was in front of them. his spirit burned bright with fiery ambition, glimmering red and orange and yellow, and he introduced a kind of light into your life that you had never quite experienced before. at first you were a little wary at first, a little blinded by how much he shone, but because you were just as stubborn as he was, you soon grew used to it.
if anything, you came to learn that atsumu was undoubtedly one of the most inspirational people out there. motivating his peers was like second-nature to him, and even if he didnât consciously put in the effort to inspire them, he still ended up doing so anyway. his love for volleyball was blatant in its authenticity, in its obsession. so when coupled with his charisma, and, yes, his boyishly good looks, atsumu developed a serious kind of gravitational pull. it was no wonder so many people were drawn inâyourself included.
but, inevitably, something had to be sacrificed. your boyfriendâs devotion to the game often meant that you two didnât get to spend much time together. if atsumu wasnât practicing at the gym, then he was either thinking about doing it, on his way to doing it, orâthis happens only under the direst of circumstancesârecovering from doing it. he was, in every sense of the word, a workaholic.
you were fine with it for the most part, mostly because you had a busy schedule to deal with yourself. if you werenât doing homework or studying for an upcoming exam for the sake of staying on top of your classes, then you were either fulfilling your duties as a student council member, playing your respective sport, or taking care of things at home.
regardless, there were still times when you wished atsumu was with you. it didnât matter if he was spewing volleyball jargon, or forcing you to pepper with him, or anything like that. you just wanted to spend time with him, to actually see him and his stupid face and his stupid smile that you want to kiss so badly.
maybe thatâs why youâre so zeroed in on the fanfiction youâre readingâto try and make up for what youâve been deprived of for days on end. a very palpable twinge of sadness tugs at your heart. you push the unwanted sentiment to the depths of your mind, trying to focus on reading the story again.
god, what sentence were you even on? and why was the door suddenly openingâ
âhey baby, did ya miss me?â
your soul leaves your body.
before you even have time to think, a shrill scream rips from your throat as you scramble to hide your phone underneath the covers. atsumu's jaw drops, completely and utterly befuddled by your behavior. after a moment he raises his hands in mock surrender. "jeez, darlin', it's just me. your boyfriend, remember?" atsumu says, brow raised. there's a mixture of emotions written across his faceâslight concern, palpable amusement, even some suspicion. "what are ya hidin' there on your phone, anyway?"
finally, you seem to find your voice. "n-nothing important," you mumble, clearly and very intentionally avoiding the intensity of atsumu's hawk-like gaze. "i didn't even know you'd be visiting today.. thought you would be busy with practice again."
maybe it's because your boyfriend knows you so well by now, but he catches the hint of bitterness in your tone. his face softens, and he takes one, two, three steps toward you until he's taking up the space on your left. "coach called in sick, so mister perfect decided to just cancel practice for today," atsumu shrugs. you're still somewhat upset, but you can't help but smile at the setter's nickname for his captainâkita shinsuke, the closest embodiment of perfection that anyone's ever seen.
"i'm pretty sure i texted ya that i would be dropping by," your boyfriend adds, glancing over at you. cautiously, you pull out your phone again and open up the messages app. lo and behold, he did in fact text you, but you were too busy with your fanfiction to notice.
your face burns with the weight of your embarrassment.
a small chuckle escapes from atsumu's mouth. "wow, i haven't even done anything and you're already blushin' for me," he teases. you hit his chest halfheartedly, muttering about how mean he's being. you fail to notice the calculating glint in his eyes. you also fail to notice his hand wandering.
a second later, atsumu grins smugly, your phone held securely in his grip.
"what the hell, 'sumu?!" you screech, trying to retrieve the object in vain. "how did you evenâ"
"i'm good with my hands," he winks, and you don't even have time to scold him for the clear innuendo because he's typing in the password to your phone. all you can do is accept your fate as atsumu discovers the story you were reading.
as expected, he laughs. loudly. it's almost like the laugh he lets out whenever he wins a bet against osamu. you turn away, shame and humiliation gnawing at your chest. there's nothing more you want than to be swallowed by the floor beneath you.
however, when atsumu's laughter dies down a few moments later, you feel him wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "baby," he begins, voice still a little breathless from all his cackling, "why are ya reading this when ya got the real thing right here?"
you look up at him, a confusing mess of emotions swirling within your stomach. "because we don't seem to spend much time together anymore," you admit, lowering your eyes to the ground. "laugh all you want, but these stories are there for me whenever i need them. you probably think it's stupid, or pathetic, or whatever, but.. i miss you, 'sumu."
you close your eyes, preparing to hear another round of thunderous laughter. it never comes.
"open yer eyes for me, babe," atsumu's voice is unexpectedly soft, tender. hesitantly, you do, and your gaze meets his. your boyfriend reaches out, resting a calloused hand against your cheek. his touch is so familiar, so comforting, that you can't do anything else but lean in and welcome it. "i didn't know that ya were feelin' this way, and i'll admit that it's my fault for not noticing. but hey, you wanna know somethin'?"
"what is it?" you whisper.
"i miss ya too," your boyfriend confesses. he leans in, placing a soft kiss against your lips. "and tomorrow, i'm taking ya out on a date."
OIKAWA TOORU
"oh my god, this is so cute," you sigh dreamily, swinging your feet in satisfaction as you indulge yourself. it was fanfiction, for crying out loudâcan you really be blamed? this particular story practically reeked of fluff. you had just received flowers from the male lead, with you two having confessed just a few days ago. now you were on the first date, entering the doorway to a beautiful relationship that made every reader jealous.
the fact that the male leadâthe infamous setter of aoba johsai, fanboy of iwaizumi hajime, hater of ushijima wakatoshiâalso happened to be your boyfriend was just a minor detail.
you continued reading, the outside world completely irrelevant as you immersed yourself in the story. soon another squeal leaves your lips as oikawa, the male lead, bends down to kiss your hand. he says something swoonworthy, causing you to giggle like a madman. "that's it, i'm marrying you," you say, as if he can hear you through the story.
"marrying who?"
you let out a defeated sigh as your boyfriend pops his head into your room. there's a pout on oikawa's face, his mocha eyes filled with mock betrayal. still there's a part of you that knows he actually is a little bit jealous; he just doesn't know that technically, he's jealous of himself. "who are you marrying, babe?" he asks you somewhat accusingly. "i think it's a bit too early forâ"
"shut up please," you groan, a bit sad that your reading session got interrupted. "i'm reading this fanfiction of you, and in the story, you're actually nice to me."
you immediately hear an indignant gasp from your boyfriend. he puts a hand to his chest, his pout now even more prominent. "excuse me, i am nice to you," oikawa scoffs as he walks over, squinting at the story you're reading. "i'm way better than him!"
"you are him," you deadpan.
"exactly! why are you reading that when i'm right here? i'm hurt," oikawa says in disapproval, shaking his head at you. "now move over."
you blinkâonce, twice. "wait, what?"
"i wanna read too," oikawa says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "so i can list all the things they got wrong about me."
BOKUTO KOUTAROU
maybe reading fanfiction about your boyfriend wasn't the best idea. it's not that the story wasn't great because it really wasâthe characterization was on-point, the writing style was smooth and elegant, and the plot was creative. it's more about your boyfriend himself. particularly the way that he reacted when he found out.
"am i not good enough?" bokuto asked you quietly as he stared up at you. his golden eyes were absolutely despondent, his shoulders were slouched, and even his owlish hair looked like it was deflated. you didn't need akaashi to understand that those were all signs of an emo bokuto.
and it was all because of you.
man, the guilt was unbearable.
"koutarou," you say softly, reaching out to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. "baby, you are more than enough for me. you're amazing, okay? you're my anchor, and you make me smile when no one else can. compared to you, this fanfiction means nothing." you pause, placing a tender kiss against his warm cheek. "seeing you sad makes me sad, you know?"
"i'm sorry," bokuto mumbles, burying his face in the crook of your shoulder. "i thought i'd let you down or something, like i wasn't being a good boyfriend. it scared me."
his words make your heart hurt even more. you pull away from the hug, letting your earnest gaze meet his. "from now on, you don't have to be scared," you tell him seriously. "i'll stop reading fanfiction, and every day, i'll remind you of how much you mean to me. is that fair, kou?"
bokuto nods, and it's at that moment that you start to see the gloomy aura around him disappear. "i love you," he says, and you can tell that he means it. he always does.
you pull him closer, your fingers combing through his hair soothingly. he hums quietly, enjoying the feeling. "i love you too, koutarou," you smile. "and no story will ever change that."
you let a few moments pass by, simply listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. slowly, you let your eyes close, your boyfriend's strong embrace lulling you to a light rest. after a few moments, though, bokuto's voice breaks through the silence. "can i ask you a question, babe?"
you open your eyes. "anything."
he pulls away, his expression completely serious as he looks at you. "can we get something to eat?"
im back with another idea to pester you with đ i looked in my hellhole of drafts & noticed that i had a several month old blurb of this batman! iwaizumi fic, so hereâs the question. . should i continue it?? itâs pretty much a dc au featuring iwa & the reader but superhero stuff is my weakness soooo