Brolias Boesersson

Little demon assholes! But----

my dead wife is boring as fuck and all of my flashbacks are of her farting loud

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature

and the funny thing is walter really WAS white

look down

hey pal while you're down there. this is awkward because you're a bear, and you're under my house and I feel like I shouldn't intrude, but. well I just hate the crawlspace so much and you seem to be fine with it. what I'm trying to say is can you just run this network cable over to the living room for me thanks

This is what Willem Defoe was writing on his detective pad

MY FUCKING LINUX THEMED RESTAURANT, THE DISTRO BISTRO, IS A FUCKING DISASTER!!! IM RUINED!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!!!

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT LINUX IS AND I HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT TO THEM EVERY FUCKING TIME THEY COME IN!!! "ohhh whats a distro? open source? what does that mean?" FUCKING GOOGLE ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

EVERY FUCKING DAY SOMEONE ASKS ME WHAT THE "TORVALD'S TORTELLINI" IS NAMED AFTER LIKE YOU HAVE A FUCKING PHONE JUST GOOGLE IT FUCK!

yo is this where I get the free as in free beer