bumbayah

"It will be a good thing," Benedict added, agreeing with Daphne’s opinion. "Not only for the two of you, but for everyone. I am sure that I’m speaking for the rest when I say that we cannot stand your petty arguments any longer."

Eloise’s loud groan meant she agreed with her brother, and everyone nodded their heads as well, a silent way of letting you and Anthony know that they, indeed, were absolutely done with your attitude.

It is understandable. After all, Anthony and you have known each other for over twelve years, and you’ve yet to find a way to get along, or at least have a pleasant coexistence. You and Anthony do nothing but argue, contradict each other, and find petty little things to fight about.

To Anthony, you were spoiled, insufferable, and annoying. He could not stand you, but... It would certainly be better to have someone to accompany him than to be alone, even if that ‘someone’ was annoying.

"Then so be it." Anthony said, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue, trying to avoid showing just how annoyed he was by this.

"Ugh…" you mumbled, knowing you would now be between sword and wall. You certainly didn’t want to accompany Anthony, but it would be rude not to after he partially accepted your company.

Anthony noticed your hesitation, and instead of using that as an excuse to travel alone, he used it against you, to make you angry.

"Or does my presence bother you that much, that you will not share a carriage with me?" questioned Anthony, with a little smirk that made your insides burn. "What is it that you hide from me, Lady Y/N, is it anger still? Or perhaps... other feelings?"

Your mouth opened wide as soon as you understood what he was implying, and everyone's eyes widened, attentive to what was about to happen.

"Do not think yourself so important, Lord Anthony," you said, with a fake smile that he knew well enough to recognize. "I was simply pondering whether you’re worthy of my presence after your attitude this week."

"If I– my attitude?" Anthony sounded almost offended, but you knew he was upset by the fact that you exposed his attitude in front of his entire family. "You are no better than me. Get off your high horse."

Violet, the Bridgerton's mama, let out a gasp at that, "Anthony! Be more respectful. She's a lady, I raised you better than this."

"Have her act like a lady, then."

"And you should act like a man, not a boy." you argued.

Everyone's gazes moved from Anthony to you, back to Anthony, and back to you again. These types of arguments were not new, so everyone hoped that someday, preferably soon, these silly arguments would have a... positive outcome.

Everyone knows that what you and Anthony feel for each other is not hatred... not exactly.

“As a man, I should not have to prove anything to you, but as a token of my sincerity, I cordially invite you to accompany me on my business trip," Anthony said as solemnly as he could, avoiding smirking as soon as your expression became annoyed. "Lady Y/N, you certainly would not turn down such a kind-hearted offer, would you?"

Son of a...

"Certainly not, Viscount Bridgerton," you said reluctantly. "It would be my pleasure to keep you company on your journey.”

The smirk on Anthony's face after his ungracious comment made you roll your eyes.

You regretted having said yes, having given in to accompanying him; but your pride wasn't going to let him get away with it, you were a decent lady, and of course you wouldn't turn down a gentleman's offer, even if that gentleman was one you felt like punching— in the most... ladylike way possible, of course.

When Anthony said the journey would be long, you did not believe him, for you supposed he was saying it to discourage you from accompanying him; but it was not so. It really was a long journey.

It had been three long hours sharing the same carriage and you hadn't even covered a quarter of the distance, the only thing you had managed to do was to argue.  Argue about the route, the clothing you were wearing, even about the shade of the grass outside... in other words, you argued about EVERYTHING.

As if dealing with an Anthony ready to infuriate you wasn't enough, it began to rain at the beginning of the fourth hour of the journey. And it wasn't the kind of rain that could have lulled you into calmness, no... it was a thunderstorm. A bad one, at that.

“Wonderful, could this day get any worse?” Anthony complained, looking through the window and observing the dark sky being adorned by lightning every few seconds.

“My lord?" Said the horseman through the front window. "I'm afraid we will have to make an immediate stop, it is impossible to continue the journey in these conditions, it is perilous."

If it had not meant that you were stuck with Anthony for longer than planned, you would have laughed, celebrated and danced at the sight of his frustrated, annoyed expression on his face.

His day was going badly, and you were enjoying it.

"All right," Anthony said reluctantly. "But we are halfway there, what proceeds in this situation? We cannot stay out here in the open."

"It seems to me that there’s an Inn a few miles from here, Lady Y/N and you could spend the night there, while the storm abates, and we will continue on our way tomorrow, when the weather is more amenable, my lord."

Anthony looked at you to be sure you were okay with this, he couldn't stand you and wanted you away from his presence, but he wasn't going to leave you here alone, and he wanted to be sure that at the very least you were on board with the plan.

"Sounds better to me than risking an accident." You agreed, trying to be as 'understandable' as possible.

“Alright then,” Anthony sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. “The INN it is.”

Getting out of the carriage in the midst of the storm had been a challenge. Anthony got out first, and almost slipped in the mud, you merely giggled at that, for which he refused to hold your hand to help you down, being as petty as he is.

You got out by yourself and almost slipped as well, thing is, Anthony reacted quickly and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you on your feet, which puzzled you both so badly, that the rest of the way to the INN you walked separately, so apart, that it didn't even look like you arrived together when you got in.

"Good evening, I would like to book two rooms." Anthony said to the burly man behind the counter.

"One room." said the man, checking his book.

"Two." corrected Anthony.

"One," said the man firmly, picking up the key and putting it on the counter. "INN full, storm. One room, yes or no?

“Good heaven..” Anthony said in exasperation, running a hand through his hair again. “One room will suffice then.”

Great. One room. ONE.

Anthony walked back to you and raised a finger before you even got the chance to open your mouth to protest. “I do not want to hear you complain, you heard me, I tried to get two rooms and I could not.”

“I thought you were a viscount.”

“I am, but I am not God to stop a storm, nor the Queen to order everyone to leave,” he said, starting to walk towards the room. “I guess you will be stuck with me for the night, Lady Y/N.”

Wonderful. Just magnificent. Expectacular.

"Do not look." you said firmly, sinking deeper into the hot water of the bath, trying to hide your body from Anthony, who was sitting on the bed, freshly bathed.

"You wish I was anywhere near interested." he replied, turning his head completely the other way, which is the only reason you were unable to see his expression.

You wouldn't be bathing now if it wasn't absolutely necessary to keep you from falling ill, but that didn't make it any easier. With Anthony in the room, bathing wasn't as enjoyable as it usually is, let alone now that your dress is soaking wet and you don't have anything to put on other than your corset and knickers.

"I will lend you my shirt, so you do not sleep so indecently tonight." he said, as if he had read your thoughts.

"What will you wear? Your jacket is soaked."

"I suppose no harm will come from sleeping without a shirt," he replied, still not looking at you. "Though if that makes you uncomfortable, then I can find somewhere else to stay."

"No, do not worry," you said, perhaps a little too quickly, making you more nervous than you already were. "You are being kind enough to lend me your shirt, and I will not not be so cruel as to send you away."

Anthony raised his eyebrows in surprise at your response, but didn’t say anything about it. “Fine then.”

You hurried out of your bath, put on your uncomfortable corset and knickers, and put on Anthony's dry shirt, buttoning most of the buttons to cover most of your body, although there were still parts that were exposed, such as your legs and part of your chest.

While you had stopped arguing because you were in a peculiar situation, the silence that enveloped the two of you was uncomfortable. The kind of silence that exists when there are so many things to say, but none of them are said.

“Why–” “How–” Anthony and you managed to interrupt each other after having spent around 10 minutes without uttering a word, an awkward coincidence.

“You first.”

“Well, since we are long past formalities…” Anthony began, signaling his lack of shirt and your indecent clothing. “Tell me frankly, why is it that you despise me so much?”

The question caught you off guard. You never thought Anthony cared what you thought of him, or why you chose to feel this way, but this question changes everything.

It was a good question, why indeed? Was it his insufferable attitude? His deadpan comments? The damn smirk he gave you when he knew he was getting on your nerves? The way he looked at you? The way he made you feel?

Why do you hate him at all?

"Would you believe me if I said I do not hate you?" you replied, not often do you get the chance to be honest with him.

"No,” he said bluntly and you raised both eyebrows in surprise. “Because you act like you hate me."

"I do not hate you, you just…” you sighed and looked down. “Anger me."

"Because you anger me first."

"Then it seems to me the proper question would be, why do YOU hate ME?" you questioned, raising your tone only slightly.

"I never said I hated you."

"You act like you do." you replied as he did, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

All calm seemed to leave Anthony's body with those words, he let out a growl fit for an animal and ran his hands through his hair.

"See what I mean? You are aggravating!"

"Because I act like you?" you questioned him, raising an eyebrow.

"You do not act like me!" Anthony raised his voice slightly, and took a step towards you. "You act like… like YOU! Insufferable, with that sharp wit of yours, those charming remarks that make me want to… to... UGH, you drive me crazy, woman!"

Anthony had been so focused on letting you know how much you despair him, and you on listening to him; that neither of you realized how close he was now to you.

You could feel his breath brushing against your lips, one more inch and his nose would touch yours, his chest yours, his lips yours.

“Show me you do not hate me, then.” you dated him one last time, looking at his deep brown eyes and down at his lips, then back at his eyes.

The moment your lips pressed against his, his partially calm demeanor faded away. It was all lips, teeth and tongue, a mess that quickly turned heated, your hand holding the back of his head as one of his hands found a place in your hip, pulling you closer to his body.

Out of impulse, you opened your mouth, allowing him in. And it seemed like he suddenly remembered he was arguing with you, because he bit your lower lip and pulled, to then run his tongue over it and push you away slightly.

Even though he pushed you away, he never let go. He kept his hands on your hips as he looked directly into your eyes, searching for the same feeling he felt. And he found it.

Without another word, you kissed again, but this time the kiss was unrestrained, filled with desperation, hunger, desire, passion and something more. Anthony held you as close to his body as he could, but it seemed to be insufficient to quench his thirst for you.

Slowly you began to walk to the bed, the back of your knees collided with the mattress, so you fell backwards and Anthony quickly followed, not taking his lips off yours for a second, even as your bodies begged for air.

From there, you lost all shame, your hands caressed his smooth back, his muscular arms, even ran down his chest, you wanted to feel him, to convince yourself that this was really happening and was not a dream.

His lips moved from your lips to your jaw, and he began to make a trail of kisses down your neck, slow, wet kisses that made you burn for him. He kept moving down and down, down your collarbone, and the part of your chest that wasn't covered by his shirt.

Through the open shirt, he found access to your abdomen and kept kissing, biting sometimes and licking after to ease the pain. He looked at you and asked quietly, you knew where he was going, and you wanted him there, so you nodded your head.

As he roamed your abdomen with kisses; he slid his hands under your shirt and grabbed the edge of your underwear, sliding it down your legs until he got rid of it.

You threw your head back as soon as he leaned over where you needed him most, his big soft hands squeezed your thighs while his lips left little bites and small kisses on the inside of your thighs.

He paused for a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, and you sighed nervously, waiting for his caresses. The tip of his nose brushed against your clit, causing you to inhale suddenly, and at this he continued his kisses on your area, getting more gasps from you than he could count.

“For future reference, I am not against being begged for and having my hair pulled, I like it.”

Your eyes rolled at his endless arrogance, though his arrogance itself made you realise that you need him more than ever. He began to kiss gently all over your thighs, clearly avoiding where you needed him most, to tease you one last time.

Without warning, Anthony wrapped his lips around your clit, and sucked. Immediately, and knowing you would react like this, his hands roamed up your body to hold your hips, as he moved the tip of his tongue in circles and up and down.

"I must admit, for the first time, I like what you are doing with your mouth." you dared to say.

Anthony gave you a little slap on the inside of your thigh, causing you to unconsciously tighten your legs around his head.

"Do not tempt me to stop, woman."

"As if you wanted to."

"No, I suppose I don’t really want to." he admitted, before continuing his ministrations.

You let out a small moan even though you tried to hold it back, as Anthony moved his lips and tongue skillfully up and down your centre, never neglecting your clit as he used his thumb to rub quick circles. The intensity, speed and rhythm of his tongue and thumb were giving you more pleasure than you had ever felt before.

Until he suddenly stopped.

"Anthony-"

"I will make you feel so good," he said, and you felt his breath on your pussy. "For the first time in your stubborn life, trust me."

He removed his thumb from your clit, so he could slide two fingers inside you. You let out a louder moan this time, and threw your head back. You heard a chuckle from him, but Anthony didn't move his fingers.

His hot breath against your area sent shivers all over your skin, as did his voice as he said. “I feel like I ought to teach you some manners.”

“Anthony, I swear to you by all the gods…”

“Beg for it, darling.”

Fuck your ego, you need this release.

Letting go of your bottom lip, you decide to surrender and murmur, "I need it. Please, Anthony.”

His tongue soon returned to your pussy, and this time, his fingers began to slide in and out of you slowly, menacingly slow. Desperate, you grabbed a handful of his hair and tugged lightly, causing Anthony to grunt and send vibrations into your sensitive body.

“Good girl.”

The rhythm of his fingers increased as your breathing quickened, you couldn't control the way the moans left your lips without shame, nor the way your hips rose steadily, trying to chase his face.

It was so erotic, downright filthy and forbidden, but still you felt that this is the place to be. With him between your legs.

The sounds that left your lips embarrassed you at times, but it seemed to only encourage him more, and you didn't know if the heat in your cheeks was from your rapid breathing or the way Anthony was looking at you. He smiled against your skin and began to leave wet kisses before speeding up the movement of his hand.

“Cum for me, my dove, do not hold yourself back, let go.”

And that's what made you come.

For a few seconds, you see nothing but black, as you closed your eyes as pleasure courses through your body, all while he cleaned up the mess. There is a moment's pause before he rises from between your legs, looking down at you with parted lips.

And of course— Anthony being Anthony— was going to keep teasing you. And he succeeds, by wiping the corners of his lips with his thumb, licking his lips and sucking your ecstasy from his fingers.

“As sweet as I imagined, truly.”

“You imagined?” you inquired, sitting on the bed to get a closer look at his face.

“Is my devotion not enough proof to you?” he questioned, licking his lips. “I have desired this for a long time, my lady.”

“Is that so?” you questioned, biting your lip.

“Allow me to enlighten you just how much I want this.”

He gave you a little push and you fell back to the bed, he helped you remove the corset from your body, leaving little kisses across the newly exposed skin, one of his hands travelled between your legs again, knowing full well what he had to do. His thumb circled over your clit, his fingers teasing your entrance.

"I think you are ready for me now," he assured, standing up to remove his trousers, leaving you puzzled at his size. "Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely."

He let out a little smirk and quickly got on top of you and without further ado, entered you.

“Bloody hell, Anthony..." you murmured, accidentally leaving scratches on his back, as his hips moved at a fast, rough and above all, deep pace.

Anthony said nothing, but gasped and left a nibble on your shoulder as you tugged lightly on his hair, and he sped up the movements even more, his dick hitting your spot with each and every thrust, the pleasure was almost uncontrollable, as he, who was insatiable. He couldn't get enough of you.

You knew that in addition to the sexual satisfaction this brought him, it was also feeding his ego to be on top of you, making you moan after fighting for so long.

And you certainly wouldn't let him win.

As best you could, you placed your hands on his chest and pushed him off you, causing him to pause for a second, when you pushed him back to lie down, and straddled him, that's when he understood.

You lined him back up with your entrance, and lowered your hips, making both let out a loud moan.

You began to move at a pace that was satisfying to you, but not satisfying enough for him, which was making him desperate and even more so when he knew you were doing it on purpose.

"Do not tease me."

"Oh, where is your playful spirit, Lord Anthony?"

"Here it is." Anthony placed his hands on your waist, also moving his hips up and down, intensifying the depth and speed.

The moan that left your lips did not go unnoticed as he increased the speed of his thrusts even more, hitting your spot again and again and again. Determined not to let him win, you began to clench your walls around him, just as he moved his hips down.

“I'm going to... I'm going to cum.” He said, tightening his grip on your waist.

One last wickedness, for the sake of the rest of the night.

You suddenly stopped moving, which made him look at you with confusion, and some anger too. Slowly, you began to move your hips in circles, causing his dick to have different sensations and reach even deeper, and that's what made him finish.

And the sensation of that, plus the sight, which was him closing his eyes and biting his lower lip, while the muscles in his abdomen tensed, was what ended up making you finish.

You fell exhausted a few seconds later, pulling him out of you and lying down next to him, aware that you must clean up, and above all... talk, but you were so tired that you didn't even want to move.

Anthony got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, taking a wet towel, wiping himself and then you, carefully. He threw the towel to the bathroom and returned to the bed, lying down next to you.

"Can we put this absurd enmity behind us? It seems pretty obvious to me how we really feel about each other," he commented calmly. "While it's fun, I do not want you to think of me and have it be a negative thing, Y/N. I am tired of it. I think it’s time we face our feelings as they are, would you not agree?"

“And what exactly are those feelings?”

“Quite the opposite of hate, it seems to me,” he said with a smirk. “There is adoration, admiration, certainly a bit of devotion, a sprinkle of exasperation, but lots of…”

“Love?”

“That precisely, my lady.”

“So, are you saying that—“

“Yes.” he confirmed, not quite saying it, but you knew what he meant.

“I love you too.” you blurted out, the truth that had been eating you alive for years now.

He kissed the top of your head and sighed. Anthony remained silent for a few seconds but you knew he had something else to say.

“I cannot believe I got you to say it out loud first.”

“If it’s a game to you, I will take it back, for you have not said it back.”

“You were never and shall never be a game to me, my lady. And you cannot take it back now, it’s etched inside my mind.” he placed to fingers under your chin, softly lifting your head so he could look at you in the eye. “Also? I have loved you since I met you, since the very first time you challenged me, since you smiled at me for the first time. I just wanted to point that out.”

“Good. You ought to own and earn my love from now on, my lord, no more dick-ish behaviour.”

“No more, my lady, I promise.” Anthony pulled your body over his. “I shall treat you like you deserve.”

You smiled widely, proud of him and yourself. Anthony began to hum a song that, along with the rain, slowly lulled you into a deep sleep.

Who knew that an INN away from everyone would be the answer?

You’re the jealous type, and you hate it. You hate the feeling of your heart clenching in your chest and a sense of inadequacy. It’s an ugly feeling. It makes you feel like a terrible person whenever you get jealous of the people around you or someone that has passed on to the afterlife. You know she was his friend; they were nothing more than close friends. But why do you feel a raging fire pit forming in your gut when you know that there is an area in Liyue with their names combined? In your world, it’s a ship name. 

Zhongli has reassured you that he and Guizhong are nothing more than friends. Close friends. But would close friends form an alliance and name part of Liyue with their names combined? You think the fuck not. Perhaps they were not creative with naming that part of the region? Either way, you hate that it exists and wish you never feel this way. You’re brought out of your thoughts when the glass cup shatters before you. You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, rubbing your throbbing temples with your index and middle finger.

You look at Albedo. “Apologies for breaking another beaker. I was distracted with my thoughts,” you murmur, giving Albedo an apologetic smile. 

Albedo sweeps the shattered glass into the dustpan. “There’s nothing to apologize about, [Y/N]. If you need to take a breather, you can step out for a moment,” Albedo says.

Albedo is telling you to leave. Although, you don’t blame him for wanting you to go if that’s what he’s implying. Maybe you do need a breather, or else you’ll take your jealousy out on another glass beaker in the lab. After all, this is the fifth beaker you have broken within two hours of helping Albedo with his project.

You nod, letting out a long exhale through your nostrils. “You’re right, Albedo. I need to take a breather and collect my thoughts,” you said. 

Albedo squeezes your shoulders and continues to sweep the glass shards into the dustpan, throwing them into the trash bin. You take your lab coat off and hang it on the coat rack near the door. You leave Albedo’s laboratory and press your back against the wall, sighing for the umpteenth time today. You push yourself away from the wall and stomp down the stairs. You’re glad the stairs have a rug because you don’t want to put anyone in a negative mood because of the thoughts that are hounding you. 

Once you have reached the bottom of the stairs, Lumine perks up and waves at you. When did she get here? You give Lumine a smile and wave at her. 

“Lumine! What are you doing here at the abode? Babysitting Aether again?” You ask.

Aether scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “She’s not babysitting me, [Y/N]! And for your information, I invited Lumine over because I didn’t want to be alone when Zhongli drones on about the history of Liyue,” Aether jokes. 

You blink at Aether’s response, finally noticing the former Geo archon sitting across from Lumine and Aether. Zhongli sips on his tea, ignoring Aether’s comment about him droning on about Liyue’s history. You purse your lips and nod. As much as you would like to join them, Zhongli didn’t invite you, so why should you invite yourself?

Lumine rolls her eyes at Aether’s comment, nudging his side with her elbow. “Be nice, Aether!” She hisses. Lumine turns to you and smiles politely as if she wasn’t close to smacking her twin brother in front of you and the former Geo archon not too long ago. “Would you like to join us, [Y/N]? Zhongli was about to talk about Guizhong and the Guizhong ballista,” Lumine says nonchalantly.

Your eye twitches at the mention of her name. Oh, archons, her again? Do you even have the patience and courage to stay and listen to your boyfriend talk about a friend that has passed away thousands of years ago? No, no, you do not. Plus, Zhongli never invited you, so it would be rude for you to impose. He certainly did not invite you for a good reason, and for once, you’re glad he didn’t ask you to join the conversation.

You shake your head. “No, no, it’s fine. I was helping Albedo with his experiment, and now I’m taking a much-needed break,” you said.

“Aw! Come on, snookums! Why not join us?” Childe asks, walking into the room with a teapot in his hands. 

You raise an eyebrow. “Childe, I didn’t know you were part of Zhongli, Aether, and Lumine’s tea party,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“There are more audiences, but they’re currently on a bathroom break. We’ve been sitting here for almost two hours drinking tea and learning about Liyue’s history,” Gorou says, stretching his arms in the air as he walks into the room.

You prop your hands on your hips. “Is that so? And I wasn’t invited?” You ask lightheartedly.

You mask your hurt with a lighthearted tone. You’re conflicted on whether you should feel offended that Zhongli didn’t think once or twice to invite you. Or if you should feel relieved that you didn’t have to sit through almost two hours of Zhongli talking about Liyue and her. Archons, this feeling is so ugly. 

“I didn’t think you’d be interested in listening to the long history of Liyue. Besides, you were helping the chief alchemist with his experiment,” Zhongli says casually. 

Venti plops down in his seat beside Aether. “If we’re talking about the God of Dust, she looks a little similar to Lumine. Only, she has a rat tail like block-head over there, and her hair is gray,” Venti says casually. 

Venti’s comment makes you dread being in the presence of Zhongli and Lumine. If Guizhong looks a little similar to Lumine, could that mean that Zhongli may have felt some kind of attraction toward the blonde girl? What if Lumine was the reincarnation of Guizhong? No, it’s not possible because Lumine isn’t even from Teyvat. The raging fire pit in your stomach that is jealousy has grown after hearing Venti’s comment. 

Noticing your change of demeanor, Thoma nudges Venti and gestures for the anemo archon to keep his mouth shut. Venti’s eyes widen, and he makes an “oops” face. Thoma turns to you and gives you a smile.

“Do you want anything to eat? You have been helping the chief alchemist for a few hours,” Thoma says, getting ready to leave his seat. 

You give Thoma a strained smile and shake your head. “Oh, no, I’m not hungry. I’m about to go to Luhua Pool,” you said, pointing at the entrance of the estate.

You didn’t plan on going to Luhua, but now that you think about it, a change of scenery would be nice. Not only that, but you’re hoping the view of the blue waters would keep your mind off of Zhongli talking about Guizhong and how Lumine looks a little similar to Guizhong. The pit in your stomach grows when you see the light shade of pink on Lumine’s cheeks. To you, you see it as Lumine blushing at Venti’s comparison to the God of Dust. Still, in reality, Lumine was blushing from embarrassment and refraining from strangling the anemo archon for comparing her to the woman you envy. 

Lumine knows about your distaste and jealousy toward the deceased archon. You expressed your frustrations to Lumine a few days ago. The frustration was more directed toward yourself than the God of Dust and former Geo archon. She knew how much you hate feeling jealous over their friendship. Lumine prays that you won’t hate her or grow a dislike for her because she and Guizhong look a tiny bit alike.

“Why are you going to Luhua Pool alone? There is danger outside the abode,” Xiao says, standing behind you with his arms crossed over his torso, frowning at you.

You look at Xiao and smile at him. “I’m going to Luhua Pool to clear my mind, Xiao. I messed up on Albedo’s experiment because I was distracted,” you explain, tucking your hands into your pockets.

You weren’t wrong about that part. You were distracted by the overwhelming jealousy directed toward Zhongli and Guizhong’s friendship. You wanted to have someone that cared about you as much as he cared about her. You wanted to have someone that keeps the memory of you alive when you’re gone, like how he does with Guizhong and the past adeptis that were once by his side. Yes, your boyfriends love and care about you, and you acknowledge that! But does Zhongli care about you as much as the other men do? Does Zhongli care about you as much as he cares about Guizhong? Does he care about you more than he does for her, or is it the other way around?

So many questions ran through your mind, making your throbbing temples worsen. You close your eyes and rub your temples. The sooner you leave the abode, the sooner you can (hopefully) soothe your aching temples. 

Heizou approaches you, placing a light touch on your shoulder. “Do you want someone to accompany you? You don’t look too good,” Heizou murmurs.

You shake your head. “I’ll be fine, Heizou. Like I said before, I need to clear my mind,” you reply.

Before anyone can protest, you make your way to the entrance of the estate. Your throbbing temples are hurting almost as much as your heart. You end up finding yourself sitting at the top of the mountain in Luhua Pool, looking out at the bluest water you have ever seen. It’s nice and quiet. The only things you hear are the wind blowing, treasure hoarders conversing from afar, birds chirping, and the sound of your heart breaking. The last part is a little dramatic, but you can’t help it. 

While the sun is beating down on your hot skin, you debate whether you should sit under a tree to cool off or just remain where you’re sitting. A twig snaps behind you, making you tense up and freeze where you’re sitting. You’re afraid that if you turn around, you will see Zhongli standing behind you. 

You keep your eyes on the waters in front of you. “Zhongli, if you’re here to scold me for leaving the abode so suddenly, I don’t want to hear it,” you sigh, resting your head on your chin.

“Huh. Last time I checked, my name’s not Zhongli,” you hear a nonchalant voice say.

The person sits beside you, leans back, and looks at the view before you two. You didn’t say anything. What are you supposed to say, really? Were you supposed to explain to Diluc why you left the abode to sit at Luhua Pool?

Diluc sighs and places his hand on his lap. “You don’t need to say anything. I’m here to keep you company, even if you want to be alone,” Diluc says.

You close your eyes and rest your head on Diluc’s shoulder. Diluc shifts beneath you and wraps his right arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You were tempted to tease him for being protective, but you don’t blame him for being that way. After all, he (and the other men) did witness you getting injured in many ways a few days ago. It was humiliating. You never want to live through that kind of stuff ever again, but knowing yourself and your luck, that’s not going to happen any time soon. You close your eyes and let yourself snuggle up against the pyro vision holder. 

“You know what I have always wondered?” You whisper, breaking the silence between the two of you.

Diluc hums in response, letting you know to continue.

“Ever since I arrived in Teyvat, I wondered if the people in my world know about my disappearance. I wonder if there are people that miss me or remember my existence,” you said, opening your eyes and gazing out toward Luhua Pool. “I know that he cares about me, but sometimes it feels like he cares about her more than he cares about me,” you murmur.

You are the present, and she is the past, but he’s keeping the memories of her alive. The people of Liyue and the adeptis are keeping the memories of Guizhong alive. Seeing how much people love and care about her, how they still think about her despite her perishing thousands of years ago, made you wish that you had friends like them. You don’t think your friends back in your universe are aware of your disappearance. Heck, you don’t think your parents or siblings care about your lack of presence in their world. 

Footsteps approach where you and Diluc are sitting, breaking the silence between you and the redhead. 

“So this is where you two have run off,” Dainsleif says, sitting beside you, sandwiching you between him and Diluc.

You sigh and lift your head. “How many of you followed me to Luhua Pool?” You ask, looking turning to look and seeing the other men trying to sneak up toward you, Dainsleif and Diluc.

Kaeya crosses his arms over his chest. “Are we not allowed to be worried about our significant other?” Kaeya asks.

“We noticed your change of demeanor when Zhongli’s friend was mentioned, and we wanted to check up on you to see if you’re okay,” said Kazuha. 

You give the men a tight smile and nod. Even though you feel like shit for being jealous of Zhongli’s deceased close friend, you might as well pretend to be okay. Maybe that will flip your emotions, and you’ll be okay! Maybe. You’re not entirely sure if it’ll work since you let your feelings get to you almost all the time.

You stand and brush the dirt off your clothes. “I’m fine, really! As I said in the estate, I needed to clear my mind. I was distracted by my thoughts, and it caused me to break a few beakers in Albedo’s laboratory,” you explain.

“We also want to inform you ahead of time that Zhongli wants to speak to you once you return to the estate,” Ayato interjects.

Oh. So now Zhongli wants to talk to you after not inviting you to join him and the others for tea? You huff and walk off.

“Why should I speak to him? Zhongli didn’t speak to me earlier today, nor did he think once or twice about inviting me to have tea with him. I think he can wait a little longer to speak to me,” you said.

Gorou’s eyes widen, watching you walk closer to the edge of the cliff. Gorou tugs the shirt of the person closest to him, too scared to even speak up. Kaveh rushes over to you and grabs you by the wrist, pulling you toward his chest and walking far from the edge. It’s like you’re intentionally trying to walk off the cliff and end your life. You let Kaveh drag you off, mentally cursing at Zhongli and the dead god. Actually, cross that off. You’re mentally cursing at yourself for being this way. Your jealousy stems from your insecurities and lack of confidence. Your lack of confidence is because of the people in your life that had put you down at every chance they get. 

Al Haitham gives you a slight glare. “Please don’t try to walk off the edge of the cliff. What if none of us are here to protect you?” Al Haitham scolds you.

Kaveh makes a face. “I think that’s what they intended on doing,” Kaveh mutters loud enough for Al Haitham to hear.

“I think you had plenty of time to clear your mind! Let’s head back to the abode! A nap can also help you clear your thoughts and distract the storm brewing in that pretty little head of yours,” Itto says, ruffling your hair. 

You shake your head stubbornly. “I’m not returning to the abode now. I barely had fifteen minutes of alone time to myself. I’m glad that all of you care about me and want to protect me, but….” you trail off, sighing in defeat.

“How about this: we let you sit here and clear your mind while we stand from a distance to give you some space,” Tighnari suggests. 

“I don’t think they want people to stare at them while they’re trying to collect their thoughts,” Cyno mutters to Tighnari. 

Tighnari gives Cyno a subtle glare and nudges the Mahamatra’s stomach with his elbows. Cyno holds back a grunt, clutches his stomach, and shoots a not-so-subtle glare back at the forest watcher. 

You end up taking Tighnari’s suggestion. The men stood ten feet from where you were sitting while you let your feet dangle off the edge of the cliff with your back pressing against the tree stump. You’re not mentally or emotionally prepared to face Zhongli. All you know is that Zhongli will most likely give you a lecture or scold you for acting like a child for getting jealous of his deceased friend. 

Other than not being mentally or emotionally prepared to face Zhongli, you’re not ready to unpack all of the explanations as to what made you insecure and jealous easily. Quite frankly, you don’t blame Zhongli if he does end up scolding you for feeling and acting this way. It’s childish, and you don’t have anything to worry about besides him scolding you soon. Sometimes you question what these men see in you. You’re not a knight, an Adeptus, an archon, a high-profiled figure, or anything for that matter. What made these men drawn to you other than being able to control them back in your world whenever you played Genshin Impact?

You soon find yourself drowning in self-doubt. Not only are you questioning Zhongli’s feelings for you, but you’re also beginning to question the other men’s thoughts and feelings for you. They can have anyone they want, and yet they choose you. Someone who doesn’t hold a vision and isn’t from their universe. You’re brought out of your thoughts when you feel someone zap your ribs. You let out a loud yelp and flinch so hard that you swore something in your head popped, sending waves of sharp pain through your head, causing tears to well up in your eyes. 

“We told you not to zap them,” You hear Baizhu scold Scaramouche as he walks over to you and helps you up from the ground.

Scaramouche shrugs his shoulders. “I tried getting their attention without zapping them, but after a while, I had no choice,” Scaramouche says defensively.

You clutch onto the back of your head and bury your face into Baizhu’s chest while he rubs your head and walks to the teapot that sits idly by. Pierro raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms over his chest. You let out small sniffles and wipe a stray tear that threatens to make its way down your cheek.

Pierro stops you and Baizhu in your tracks by holding his hand out in front of the two of you. “Did something happen?” Pierro asks, slowly looking over at Scaramouche.

You give Pierro a strained smile and shake your head. “Other than Scaramouche zapping me, nothing happened. Although I do believe that I should get my head checked out just in case,” you said softly. 

Dottore sighs beside Pierro and walks ahead of the group. “I’ll be getting the infirmary ready for the check-up. Doctor Baizhu and Tighnari, please make sure that [Y/N]’s condition doesn’t worsen before arriving at the estate.” 

The strange pop in your head was painful, and it felt oddly hot too. It was like a blood vessel had popped inside your head, and the heat that spread throughout that area was the blood oozing everywhere. You can’t describe the feeling specifically, but you have experienced this before, but it doesn’t happen as often. 

“Who died and put him in charge?” Pantalone mutters to Capitano, who shrugs in response.

Back at the estate, you stare at the familiar ceilings. You lost count of how many times you have visited the estate’s infirmary, and it’s pretty concerning. Albedo, Dottore, Baizhu, and Tighnari are quietly conversing with each other, looking over the notes and paperwork regarding your check-up. 

“What’s the diagnosis?” Capitano asks casually.

Your head snaps up, and you look at the masked (helmet?) man with wide eyes. “There’s no diagnosis, Capitano! Or, I hope there’s no diagnosis,” you said nervously. 

Dottore walks to you and gazes at you underneath his mask. “How’s your head feeling? Does it still hurt?” He asks.

You rub the back of your head where the pain was before returning to the abode. Thankfully, the pain isn’t there, but you do feel the phantom pain. You don’t feel the pain, but it feels like it’s still there. As if the pain is lingering.

You shake your head. “It doesn’t hurt, but it’s lingering. I don’t feel it, but I still remember what it felt like,” you trail off. “I can’t explain it. I’m terrible at explanations,” you chuckle bitterly.

“Well, from the descriptions you have given us at the start of the check-up, it’s an ice pick headache,” Baizhu says.

You stare at Baizhu owlishly. “It’s not serious, is it?” You ask.

Tighnari shakes his head. “It’s not a serious condition where we have to monitor you and have you go through treatments. The only time we have to do that is if it’s recurring,” Tighnari explains.

Albedo crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the counter in the infirmary. “How often do you get the ice pick headache?” Albedo inquires.

“I rarely get them. If I remember clearly, the last time I had the ice pick headache was when I was still in my world, but it was maybe two years ago,” you reply. 

Pantalone smiles and ruffles your hair affectionately. “Then you should be fine, and you have nothing to worry about,” Pantalone says.

You smile at him and nod in agreement. Pantalone and Tighnari are right; you have nothing to worry about. You’re glad you don’t get the ice pick headaches often and that it’s a rare occurrence for you. You leave the estate’s infirmary feeling a tiny bit better and less worried about your impending doom. Speaking of impending doom, there’s something you forget about, but you don’t remember what it was.

Here you are, sitting on the swinging bench in the back of the estate with a tub of ice cream on your lap and a giant spoon in your right hand. The estate is lively as ever, with the men running outside and yelling profanities at each other. Then there’s you, sitting from a distance in the shade, eating ice cream. You wanted to participate and join in on the fun, but the heavy feeling in your chest is weighing you down and is making it hard for you to join them.

You cross your legs and hug the tub of ice cream to your chest, scooping the ice cream into your mouth and letting it melt in your mouth. This heavy feeling in your chest gives you the sudden urge to want to cry. Perhaps it's because you can’t join the others and have fun with them, or it’s the heavy feeling of jealousy that continues to cling to you like a wet t-shirt. 

You sigh and stab the spoon into the strawberry ice cream. “Man, I feel like shit,” you said to yourself.

“And could it be because you’ve been avoiding Zhongli all day?” Aether asks, approaching you with Heizou and Venti by his side. Then there’s Thoma trailing behind the three of them as well, waving at you with a small smile. 

You roll your eyes and pull the spoon out of the ice cream. “No, it’s not because of that, Aether. You know why,” you said, eyes lingering over to where Zhongli, Baizhu, and Lumine were sitting while chatting and watching the others chase each other. “I need to come to an agreement with myself that I’ll always be second best. Or an afterthought,” you grumble.

“I don’t know if you know this, but Lumine has been giving Zhongli an earful after you left the estate to clear your mind at Luhua Pool,” Venti says casually. He plops down beside you and takes the tub of ice cream from your lap.

Heizou nods. “She’s been scolding him quite often. I think she’s scolding him right now because that’s what she was doing before we went over to where you’re sitting,” Heizou says.

You rub your stomach and furrow your eyebrows. You’re starting to get a stomachache, and you’re pretty sure that it’s the ice cream’s fault. You’re not lactose intolerant. You’re weak, but not that weak when it comes to dairy. 

Before Venti can eat the ice cream scoop, you snatch the tub from Venti’s hand and begin searching for the expiration date. The stomachache worsens, making you almost drop the tub. Your eyes land on the expiration date, and you smack yourself on the forehead.

“This thing has expired for three months now,” you deadpan. 

Thoma gasps a little bit too loudly. “Oh, crap! So, that’s what I forgot to throw out!” Thoma smacks his forehead.

Thoma takes the ice cream tub from your hand and the spoon discarded on the grass. You shake your head, get up from the swinging bench and jog back into the estate. You’re not going to visit the infirmary yet. That will be the last resort if the stomachache worsens and you have non-stop diarrhea. 

To be frank, you would rather blow up the toilet and have a stomachache than have to vomit. Not only do you hate throwing up, but throwing up is one of your worst fears, and you do not want to empty out your stomach all because you ate expired ice cream. Dammit! Why didn’t you check to see if the ice cream was expired before eating half of the tub?! You hope Thoma doesn’t blame himself for not throwing out the ice cream. It’s your fault for not checking the expiration date, not Thoma’s fault. 

You quickly go to your bathroom, slam the door shut, lock the door, and mentally and physically prepare to obliterate the toilet because, oh boy, you can feel it coming. Needless to say, it was horrendous. After using the bathroom, you have decided to check the expiration date for everything before ingesting it. 

You’re lucky that you only ate ice cream that expired three months ago and not many other expired foods. If it weren’t just ice cream, you would’ve been puking up your guts and literally shitting your pants simultaneously. It doesn’t sound pleasant, but that is the reality of ingesting expired food. That and you could potentially give yourself food poisoning or develop the symptoms of food poisoning. 

You leave the bathroom, walking funny. You collapse on your bed and clutch your stomach, groaning silently. You have never shitted your guts out like that before, and you don’t want to experience it ever again. On the bright side, your stomach doesn’t hurt anymore, and you’re pretty sure you have pooped out every last bit of expired ice cream you have eaten.

A knock at the door interrupts your thoughts. You lift your head and stare at the door, watching the door crack open and Gorou peeking his head into your room. Gorou gives you a nervous smile and enters your room when you gesture for him to enter. 

Itto peeks his head into your room after Gorou enters your bedroom, giving you a small smile. You wave at Itto weakly and motion for Itto to enter. You don’t want him to be standing at the door awkwardly while Gorou is conversing with you.

“I heard from Thoma that you ate expired ice cream. How are you feeling?” Gorou asks, standing at the foot of your bed.

You lay your head on your pillow and close your eyes. “At first, I felt okay. But then it hit me, and I was on the toilet for who knows how long. But right now, I’m feeling okay! My stomach isn’t hurting anymore, and I’m pretty sure I shit out my guts,” you mutter.

“That’s good to hear,” Itto leans on your desk, “everyone is downstairs checking the expiration date of every food in the kitchen and pantry right now,” Itto says.

You hear another knock coming from the door. You, Itto, and Gorou look at the door and see Childe pushing the door open after peeking his head into your room. You grab the nearest pillow and rest your head on it, watching Childe and Zhongli walk into your room. You’re kind of shocked to see Zhongli walk through the door holding a cup of tea in his hands, accompanying Childe. You sit and pat the empty spot on your bed beside you, gesturing for Childe (and maybe Zhongli if he wants to sit, but you’re not sure) to sit on the bed.

“Zhongli brewed you some tea for your stomach. You didn’t throw up or anything, did you?” Childe asks, sitting beside you.

You shake your head. “The only thing I did was shit my guts out, but that did help me with the awful stomachache I was feeling,” you answer, rubbing your stomach.

Zhongli hands the teacup over to you. “I brewed you some tea to drink that’ll help you with your stomachaches. Make sure to drink it all, alright?” Zhongli murmurs.

You reach for the teacup and quietly thank the former Geo archon. You take a sip of the tea and scrunch your face when the scorching hot tea touches your tongue. The tea didn’t taste too bad. From what you can tell, it tastes like green tea. You’ve had green tea many times back in your world, but it’s been a while since you’ve drunk it. The heat from the tea warms your stomach up, sending shivers down your spine. You made sure to drink the entire tea before handing back the empty teacup to Zhongli. 

“Knock, knock!” Kaveh sing-song, earning an eye roll from Al Haitham.

“Please don’t sing,” Al Haitham deadpans, “I would rather hear the Rishboland Tigers mate than hear you sing.”

Al Haitham’s comment earns an offended gasp from the blond man. Before Kaveh can respond to Al Haitham’s statement (and insult), Cyno shoves past Al Haitham and Kaveh. Cyno turns to look at the two men behind him, who narrowed their eyes at him. Cyno rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Now is not the time to bicker over something petty,” Cyno states before looking at you, “Tighnari wanted me to tell you to come down to the infirmary to get a check-up.”

You look at Cyno incredulously. You did not plan on revisiting the infirmary today over your accidental ingestion of expired ice cream. You planned on going to the infirmary if the stomachache continued and if you continued to shit your guts out, and if you ended up puking in the toilet for a while.

You exclaim, “Again?! But I left the infirmary a few hours ago!” 

Childe and Zhongli raise their eyebrows at you, simultaneously propping their hands on their hips. Oh no. Looks like you forgot to inform them about your brief visit to the estate’s infirmary after returning to the abode.

You quickly add, “The visit to the infirmary was brief! I’m okay; I didn’t get injured! Tighnari told me that it was an ice-pick headache. Since I rarely get ice pick headaches, I don’t need to go through treatments or be monitored.” 

“You didn’t injure yourself, did you?” You hear Xiao ask.

You look at the door and see Xiao and Ayato standing at the entrance to your room, looking at you worriedly. You pursed your lips and shook your head. Ayato was there, so he could explain what happened to Xiao and the others (who weren’t at Luhua Pool). You’re not in the mood to re-explain the situation. 

“They’re fine. They need to get some rest, though,” you hear Diluc murmur from the hallways.

You furrow your eyebrows and flop back down on your bed. Why is the solution to many problems would be getting some rest? What if you’re feeling restless? Do you need to rest harder or something? 

You roll to your side and hug the closest thing to you. “What if I don’t want to get some rest? I assumed that sitting on the swinging bench in the backyard of the estate while eating ice cream counts as me getting rest,” you said.

“If you don’t want to get some rest, then what do you want to do?” Ayato asks, raising his eyebrows at you.

You hug the pillow to your chest tightly. “Well, I never got some alone time at Luhua Pool. Listen, I love all of you, I really do, but I never really got to clear my mind,” you murmur.

“Sometimes, it’s better to talk about it than sit in silence and clear your thoughts. I have an inkling feeling that whatever was occupying your thoughts earlier today is still in your mind,” Kaeya says, peeking from behind Xiao and Ayato.

You puffed your cheeks and exhaled through your nose. Kaeya is correct. Even if you claim that you were going to Luhua Pool to clear your mind, the thought of Zhongli and Guizhong continues to plague your thoughts. It’s driving you insane, and the pit in your stomach continues to grow with each passing minute. Venti throwing in the comment of how Lumine looks a tiny bit like Guizhong did something to you. You’re not upset with Lumine; you’re upset with yourself. You’re upset that you have this painful assumption that Zhongli is going to leave you for someone that reminded him of his deceased friend. It hurts, and you’re trying your best not to let your insecurities and jealousy create a rift between you and Lumine. 

After you had left for Luhua Pool, Lumine scolded Zhongli and Venti. She was close to hitting them with a pan, but Aether held her back. Instead, she gave them an earful. Specifically, Zhongli himself because she knows how much it has affected you and how you’re worried that he doesn’t care about you as much as he cares about someone that is long gone. 

You sit on your bed and begin running your fingers through your fuzzy blanket. “Can I write it down instead? I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about it without feeling frustrated with myself and bursting into tears,” you whisper, eyes trained on the blankets in front of you.

“As long as you tell us what’s wrong. We’re not mind readers, sweetheart,” Dainsleif says.

You didn’t question the number of people popping in and out of your bedroom. Instead, you kept quiet and let Dainsleif pull you into his arms, allowing you to bury your face into the crook of his neck. 

You whisper, “I hate feeling helpless. I’m trying my best not to let my feelings and insecurities get to me, but I can’t help it. It’s driving me insane, and I feel powerless against my thoughts.” You play with Dainsleif’s shirt, refusing to make eye contact with the men in the room. 

“It’s about the God of Dust and the God of Contracts relationship, isn’t it?” Scaramouche asks, breaking the silence in your room.

Dainsleif feels you tense in his arms, yet you don’t respond to Scaramouche’s question. While Scaramouche is correct, you wish he didn’t say that out loud in front of everyone. You would rather deal with this topic of conversation with Zhongli alone. This is between you and Zhongli, and everyone knows that.

“We’ll give you two some space,” Kazuha says slowly.

Kazuha and the other men start to trickle out of your bedroom one by one. Dainsleif unwraps his arms around you and presses a kiss on your cheek before getting up to leave your room. You nearly reach out to Dainsleif to prevent him from going, but seeing the look on Zhongli’s face makes you stop. 

Pierro nods to you before closing the door once everyone (except for Zhongli) has left your bedroom. You continue to stare at the door like a deer caught in headlights, too nervous to look at Zhongli. You can feel Zhongli’s gaze burning holes into your skull. You’re not sure who’s going to be the first one to break the silence between the two of you, but you know for sure that you won’t be the one to do that.

Zhongli walks over to where you’re sitting. The closer he got, the louder your heart was beating against your ears. You and Zhongli talked about this a few days ago. Yet, you can’t get it through your thick skull because of your jealousy and insecurity over his friendship with Guizhong. How many times does Zhongli have to reassure you so that you would not hold a grudge against someone deceased? At this point, you’re in need of therapy for all of the past traumas that led you to where you’re at right now. 

Zhongli sits beside you, keeping a small distance between the two of you. Zhongli doesn’t want to upset you any further by sitting close to you to the point where his thighs are brushing against yours. Your heart is thumping against your chest, and you feel nervous. If Zhongli is going to tell you that you have nothing to worry about, you don’t know what else to say. You love Zhongli as much as you love your twenty-four other boyfriends. You know they all love you, but sometimes you question if Zhongli cares about you at all. 

Zhongli breaks the silence between the two of you. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? I don’t want you to hide your feelings and worries from me,” Zhongli murmurs.

You press your lips into a thin line, unsure of how else to respond to him. You fear if you tell him about your concerns, Zhongli will roll his eyes and brush it off. Just like how every person you come across in your world. Your concerns mean nothing to them, and they never will. 

You shrug your shoulders and laugh sarcastically. “It’s something we talked about a few days ago, Zhongli,” you reply. 

You look at the bandages that are wrapped around your body. The burns you have gotten from the scalding hot water that was poured all over you. Dottore, Tighnari, Albedo, and Baizhu have been gradually healing your burns. They’ll wrap your (healing) burns gauze after applying ointment on the burns. You’re healing, it almost looks like nothing is there, nor did you have a burn in the first place. 

Zhongli shakes his head. “You and I didn’t talk it out. We as a group did, but I want it to just be you and I discussing this,” Zhongli replies, crossing his arms over his chest and turning to you.

You get up from your bed and begin taking your bandages off. The scars are barely there, and thanks to Qiqi, you almost look like your usual self! Perhaps two or three days from now, you should be completely healed of your injuries. You toss the bandages into the trash can and rub at the ointment. 

“What do you want me to say, Zhongli? That my behavior a few days ago at Guizhong’s abandoned abode was childish and unnecessary?” You ask, throwing your hands in the air out of frustration. “Because if you are, you’re correct. It’s childish and unnecessary,” you rub your temples.

You walk to your desk and collapse on the chair, running your fingers through your hair. You don’t want to talk about it, but it was inevitable. You would rather talk to a therapist about this than Zhongli because having to talk about it is embarrassing. 

“I hate getting jealous over your friendship with Guizhong. Yes, I know you two are just friends, nothing more and nothing less, but I can’t help but let my insecurity get the best of me. I tried to ignore it, but I can’t, and it’s very frustrating,” you look at the ground, swallowing the forming lump in your throat.

Fuck. You’re starting to tear up. You let yourself stare off into space, blinking away the tears pooling in your eyes. You try to distract yourself from the negativity that’s plaguing your mind: Zhongli constantly thinking about the woman that was once in his life, Zhongli possibly leaving you for someone that looks like the deceased God of Dust, Zhongli not caring about you as much as he does for the woman that had perished long ago.

A stray tear made its way down your cheek. “I know I shouldn’t worry or question everyone’s feeling for me, but my insecurity and overthinking makes me question everything,” you chuckle bitterly. You wipe your tears with the back of your hand. 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Zhongli says softly.

He gets up from your bed and makes his way toward you. You shake your head at Zhongli’s comment. What’s the point of stopping now when you have already started talking about it?

You gulp and attempt to hold back your tears, but the tears continue to roll down your cheeks.

“I never had anyone care about me as much as you care about Guizhong. Friend or not, you still care about her and keep her memories alive by talking about her and what she has done. I wish I have someone that cares about me as much as you care about her,” you rest your head on your knees, letting your tears stain your pants.

Your body shakes as you cry into your lap, refusing to sit straight when you sense Zhongli stopping in front of you. You dig your nails into your legs, trying to stifle your sobs, only for them to come out as sniffles and choked gasps. You feel Zhongli grab you by your biceps, carefully pulling you up and to his chest. You wanted to resist and pull away from his grasp, but you didn’t do it. You let Zhongli wrap his arms around your waist and wipe your tears away while you grip his shirt tightly.

“People never think about me in my world. I’m either their second choice, an afterthought, or they never think about me.” You rest your head against Zhongli’s chest, listening to his heart beating against his chest. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you care about Guizhong more than me. I would pick her over me if I can,” you mutter.

Zhongli grasps your chin and tilts your head, looking into your eyes. He’s glaring at you. Your bottom lip trembles as tears continue to slide down your cheeks. Archons, you most likely look like a mess in Zhongli’s eyes. 

“Guizhong is a close friend of mine. I hold her dear to my heart,” Zhongli says.

You feel your heart breaking after hearing Zhongli’s response. You try to look away from Zhongli, but he has a firm grasp on your chin. Zhongli shakes his head, sighing.

“But I don’t hold her close to my heart as much as I do with you,” Zhongli murmurs. “Yes, she is my friend, and I miss her, but I learned to accept that she’s no longer with us. You, on the other hand, are the present. You mean the world to me, and I would kill anyone and anything that harms you,” Zhongli says, cupping your face in his hands.

You sniffle and close your eyes, leaning your head on his chest. “That still doesn’t change that you care about her more than you care about me.”

Zhongli sighs and presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. “Stop saying that, [Y/N]. I care about you more than I care about Guizhong. You need to understand that, dearest,” Zhongli murmurs.

You close your eyes and whisper, “Then prove it. Prove to me that you care more about me than you care about Guizhong.”

You and Zhongli open your eyes and gaze at each other intently. Zhongli closes his eyes and presses his lips against yours. Your eyes shut, and you reluctantly kiss Zhongli back, feeling him hold your head in place. Zhongli backs you up toward your bed until the back of your knees hits the bedframe. You fall back and look at Zhongli, gulping when you see Zhongli start to tug and pull at his tie. If that’s not the most attractive thing you’ve seen today, then you don’t know what is. 

The first thing that came off was his coat, then his tie and button-up shirt soon accompanied his tailcoat that was discarded on the floor of your bedroom. Zhongli bites the tip of his glove and tugs it off while you stare at him with your mouth slightly ajar. Dammit! You’re supposed to be upset with Zhongli right now, not very horny for the ex-archon! Zhongli unbuckles his belt with one hand while pulling you to the edge of your bed by your ankles with his other hand. You feel yourself become flustered under his heated gaze.

Before you can say anything, Zhongli cages you between your bed and his body. Zhongli presses his lips against yours, his right hand sliding up your shirt before squeezing your breasts lightly. You tangle your fingers in Zhongli’s soft hair (he has really soft hair), your hand slowly snaking down to his ponytail and pulling on it. Zhongli groans into your mouth, pressing his erection against your core, causing you to jolt and whimper in his arms. 

Zhongli breaks the kiss before pressing his lips against your neck, licking, sucking, and lightly biting your neck. Zhongli kneels on your bed before sliding his other hand up your shirt, squeezing and fondling your breasts. You throw your head back, pressing your chest against Zhongli’s chest. The sound of your pants and small whimpers fill the quiet air between you and Zhongli. While you’re distracted by the feeling of Zhongli sucking on your neck and fondling your breasts, a loud rip echo in the room.

You lift your head to see Zhongli tossing away the fabric of your shirt over his shoulders, still occupied with leaving love bites all over your neck. You run your hands all over Zhongli’s torso, feeling his muscles ripple beneath your hands. This man is built like a god! Wait a minute. He is a god. How could that slip your mind? Zhongli pulls away from your neck and grabs onto your pants and panties, looping his fingers around the waistband before yanking both your pants and underwear down to your ankles.

“H-Hey! I can’t be the only one that’s naked!” You sputter, heat rushing to your cheeks as you try to cover your naked body from his eyes. 

Zhongli ignores your comment and continues to drop on his knees in front of your sopping-wet heat. Zhongli licks his lips at the sight, grabs your waist, and pulls you toward him. Zhongli latches his mouth on your entrance and begins swirling his tongue and lapping at your juices while gripping your thighs. If it weren’t for Zhongli holding your thighs, your thighs would’ve clamped over his head, trapping him between your legs.

Zhongli continues to devour you, letting his fingers ghost over the small ball of nerve. You twitch and grip Zhongli’s hair, whimpering and quivering in Zhongli’s hold. Zhongli pinches and twists the sensitive ball of nerve with his thumb and index finger, making you jolt and let out a choked gasp. Your toes curl, your back arches, and your tongue lolls out of your mouth when Zhongli penetrates his tongue into your entrance. 

“Zhongli~! Stop teasing me, and just fuck me already!” You whine, gently tugging at the roots of his hair.

Zhongli pulls away from your heat and chuckles, licking your juices off his lips before kissing the inside of your thighs. You take deep gulps of air, trying to catch your breath and process what had happened moments ago. Zhongli knows how to put his mouth to work. Literally, not just by talking about the history of Liyue and the Archon War. Zhongli stands up and unzips his pants, pulling his pants and boxers along with them.

You stare at Zhongli with wide eyes and mouth wide open. You point at Zhongli’s cock and shake your head. There is no way in hell he’s going to fit inside of you with one cock, let alone two huge cocks. Speaking of his two huge cocks, they’re both erect, red at the tips, pre-cum beading at the slit of his pretty cocks. You never thought you would consider calling dicks beautiful, yet here you are. You look away from the Liyuen man, face hot. You tap on your cheek and poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue.

“Zhongli, my love, I think you left out one key piece of information about yourself before we started dating,” you said casually. “I’m sure the men have one…. Dick…. But you, my dear, loving boyfriend… have two dicks,” you choke.

Zhongli strips what’s left of his clothes and climbs onto your bed, hovering above you. You didn’t look at Zhongli’s face, no. You’re staring at Zhongli’s two massive cocks that are pointed right in your direction, dripping with pre-cum and waiting to be inside of you. Oh, dear Archons, how in the world are you going to take two of his cocks?! Is he going to put both of them in one hole, or is he going to put one of his dicks in one of your holes and the other dick in your other hole? How is this going to work exactly? 

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when you feel Zhongli brush the tip of his nose against your jaws, his breath ghosting over your neck and jaws. 

“You’re not overthinking again, are you?” Zhongli murmurs, brushing his thumb against your jaws. 

You close your eyes and hold your breath, unsure of how to respond to Zhongli. First of all, yes, you’re overthinking, but not about Guizhong or Lumine looking a tiny bit like the God of Dust. Second of all, how can Zhongli act so casually when he did a meat reveal of a fucking lifetime? 

You gulp and laugh breathlessly. “I don’t think you’ll fit,” you mutter, peeking down at Zhongli’s angry red cocks. 

“Human bodies are capable of carrying babies and pushing an infant out from the uterus and birth canal,” Zhongli says casually.

You look at Zhongli, who looks back at you. While Zhongli is not wrong about that, birthing is pushing something out. This one, however, is Zhongli pushing two of his cocks inside of one (or two) holes.

“Do you not want me to….” you trail off, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

Zhongli cocks an eyebrow at you. “Do you want to try to suck on my cocks?” Zhongli asks, the corner of his lips curving up. 

You gape at Zhongli like a fish out of water. “I-I can try!” You squeak, eyes darting down to his two cocks. Dear archons, they look intimidating. “I can’t promise you I’ll do a good job at it, especially when there are two,” you clear your throat. 

Zhongli leans back against the headboard of your bed. You crawl toward Zhongli and kneel between his spread legs. Zhongli’s cocks are erect, throbbing for attention. You reach forward and grab onto the cock above the other, causing Zhongli to hiss softly. You quickly pull your hands back, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Did I hurt you?!” You ask.

Zhongli shakes his head, gritting his teeth. “No, dearest, you didn’t hurt me,” Zhongli grunts.

You take a deep breath and grab both of his cocks with your hands and begin stroking them. Zhongli’s eyes roll to the back of his head while he emits a deep groan from his chest. You stare at both of his cocks intently, debating which cocks you’re going to be sucking on and which one you’ll be pumping with your hands— the one on top or the one below that?

You lean down and take Zhongli’s cock into your mouth while pumping his second cock with your hand. Your tongue laps over the bulbous tip of his cock, coating the top cock in your saliva while gently squeezing and pumping the cock below it. Other than the sound of you slobbering all over Zhongli’s cocks (and occasionally switching between the two), the sound of Zhongli’s labored breaths and his quiet grunts is all you can hear. 

Zhongli pulls your hair into a ponytail, pushing your head down further until the tip of your nose is pressing up against his pubes. You squeeze your eyes shut, whimpering when the tip of Zhongli’s cock touches the back of your throat, almost making you gag. Zhongli lets out the loudest groan when he feels the walls of your throat tightening around his cock. Zhongli can feel his impending orgasm. Zhongli pulls you off his cock before he can reach his orgasm, panting.

You wipe your lips and the forming tears in the corner of your eyes. Zhongli reaches forward and pulls you toward his chest before flipping you over onto your back. You squeeze your eyes shut to process how your world suddenly turned upside down. Zhongli grabs your chin, tilts your head up, and you slowly open your eyes. Zhongli’s amber eyes are glowing; he gazes at you with lust, love, and desire. 

“Are you ready?” Zhongli murmurs, leaning his head toward your neck and planting gentle kisses. 

You nod, wrapping your arms around Zhongli’s neck. “Please be gentle with me, Zhongli,” you whisper.

Zhongli presses one last kiss on your neck before spreading your legs apart. Zhongli starts rubbing both his cocks between your legs, the tip of his dick brushing against your throbbing bundle of nerves. You dig your nails into Zhongli’s back when you feel the tips of his cocks penetrating your entrance. 

Zhongli slowly sinks into your wet cavern, clenching his jaws when your walls wrap tightly around his cock. You shut your eyes and bite down on your lips, trying to hold in your whimper. The feeling of being stretched out by both of Zhongli’s cock is painful. Zhongli clutches onto the back of your neck with his right hand and wraps his left arm around your waist before pressing his hips against yours.

Your mouth opens in a silent scream, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, a strained groan and whimper coming from you. You wrap your legs around Zhongli’s waist, clawing his back and leaving angry red marks in its wake.

“Z-Zhongli! Be gentle!” You whine, digging your heels into his ass cheeks.

Zhongli stays still, both of his cocks twitching inside of you. Zhongli massages your scalp, pressing kisses all over your neck and face while you’re trying to adjust to having both of his cocks inside of you. Your chest is heaving, your eyebrows are furrowing, and occasional whimpers can be heard coming from you.

Zhongli feels you shake your head.

“I don’t think I can take it, Zhongli,” you whisper, unintentionally tensing your legs.

Zhongli shushes you, pressing a kiss on the side of your head. “You’ll be okay. Just relax and don’t tense up. If you tense up, it’ll only make it painful for yourself,” Zhongli murmurs. 

Zhongli shifts, stretching your hole wider. You whimper and tighten your legs around his waist to stop him from moving and stretching you when you haven’t adjusted to his size yet.

“Ow, ow! Zhongli!” You hissed.

Zhongli mutters an apology, pressing his lips on the crown of your head. Both you and Zhongli stay still for a few minutes, letting you adjust to having both of his cocks inside you. You gradually let your legs relax around Zhongli’s waist, feeling yourself getting used to the size and feel of his dicks inside you. Zhongli slowly moves his waist against yours, rubbing his pubic bone against your sensitive ball of nerves. You grunt and squeeze your thighs around Zhongli’s hips, thighs quivering.

You gently squeeze his biceps. “You can move now,” you whisper.

Zhongli props himself on his biceps, caging you between his arms and your bed. Zhongli slowly pulls out from your entrance. You whimper, your hole tightening when Zhongli pulls his cock out from your heat. Zhongli pauses, leaving only the mushroom tip of his cocks inside of you. Zhongli looks at where the two of you are connected, then looks at you. You nod, signaling him to start. Zhongli slides his cocks back into you, emitting a loud, choked gasp from you. You clutch onto his bicep with one hand and your bedsheets with your other hand. Zhongli begins with a steady pace, his cocks hitting the deepest part inside of you. 

You pull Zhongli down, making him lie on top of you. You and Zhongli trade kisses, teeth clashing against each other. Zhongli breaks the kiss and forces your mouth open before spitting into your mouth. You stare at Zhongli with wide eyes, mouth ajar. You close your mouth and swallow, earning a smirk from the man above you.

Zhongli grabs your hair and proceeds to press his lips against yours while plunging his cock in and out of your sopping entrance. The sound of skin slapping, Zhongli’s grunts, your breathless whines, and your bedframe hitting against the wall is all you can hear. You roll your hips against Zhongli’s hips while he is mid-thrust, allowing the tip of his cocks to hit your cervix.

“Fuck!” You whine, your back arching and your entrance fluttering around his cocks.

You continue to roll your hips against Zhongli’s hips while he hammers his dicks in and out of your wet heat. Zhongli reaches for your right leg and throws them over his shoulder. The new position lets Zhongli’s cocks kiss your cervix. Zhongli slams his hips against yours, and you writhe beneath Zhongli, no longer able to contain your whimpers, whines, and gasps.

The more Zhongli continues to thrust his members in and out of your entrance, the closer you get to your orgasm. A tight coil begins to form in your lower abdomen, making you tighten around his cocks. Panicking, you tap on Zhongli’s shoulders.

“Zhongli, Zhongli. I’m about to cum,” You whine, rubbing your groin against Zhongli’s pubic bone.

Zhongli quickens his pace when he hears you telling him how close you are to cumming. Zhongli’s orgasm is near; he can feel it. Zhongli presses his nose against where your neck and shoulders meet, breathing in your scent. Zhongli purrs and latches his mouth to that area, biting down hard. You cry out in pain and pleasure, the velvety walls of your entrance clamping down on Zhongli’s cock. Your vision goes white, your ears ring, and you become limp in Zhongli’s arms.

Zhongli’s cum shoots deep inside your hole, filling you to the brim. Zhongli slowly removes his teeth from where your neck and shoulder meet, lapping his tongue at the blood that oozes from the bite mark. Zhongli collapses beside you. Zhongli wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you to his chest without pulling his cocks out from your hole, plugging his and your cum with his cock.

You mumble incoherently, rubbing your eyes sleepily when you come to your senses. Zhongli props himself up with his right arm and gazes at you worriedly, caressing your face. You blink up at Zhongli sleepily and smile at him shyly, your face heating up with embarrassment. You lost consciousness for a few seconds when you had an earth-shattering orgasm. 

“Are you okay, dearest?” Zhongli murmurs, stroking your cheek.

You nod and snuggle against him, shuddering when you feel his cocks inside you. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sleepy, though,” you reply.

Zhongli kisses your temples, reaching for your blanket and throwing it over your and his body. “You should get some rest. I think I pushed you past your limit,” Zhongli says. 

You close your eyes, getting ready to fall asleep in his arms while he lies beside you. Zhongli’s chest is pressing up against your bare back. Zhongli is gently rubbing your hipbone while your head is resting on his biceps, slowly dozing off. Before you can fall asleep, someone pounds on your closed bedroom door, startling both you and Zhongli.

“Hey! We left the room to give you two some privacy to talk it out! Not fuck each other’s brains out!” Childe screams from the other side of the door.

You and Zhongli hear Itto groan. “Why does Zhongli always get the first dibs?!” Itto groused. 

You snort and continue to snuggle against Zhongli. Zhongli kisses the back of your head and continues to rub your hipbones. You adjust your position and wince when you feel your and Zhongli’s mixed cum oozing from your entrance and spilling onto the bedsheets.

“Looks like I’ll be cleaning the bedsheets after my nap,” you mumble, reaching for Zhongli’s hands and lacing your fingers with his, and closing your eyes.

Zhongli chuckles and pulls you up against his chest, his hands slowly snaking up to your breasts, squeezing them gently. You crack your eyes open and look at Zhongli from the corner of your eyes.

“You’re not hoping for a round two now, are you?” You ask.

Zhongli doesn’t respond. Instead, he keeps his eyes closed before lightly thrusting his hips against yours. You groan when you feel the tip of his cocks nudging your cervix. Looks like you won’t be getting that nap you were hoping for. 

Note: And here is the first smut of 2023! Not the best, but you know what, it's good to attempt it again after almost two months. There is this one request that I got that can be turned into another smut series like Crave, only it's different... kind of. I might get started on that soon, but since it's a request that involves all of the Genshin men, it will most likely turn into a smut series like Crave. Taglists are officially closed! I might make an updated version of the taglist sometime in the future, but I'm not entirely sure when exactly. I'm not checking Tumblr as often, but I will try to check it more once I (hopefully) open up my ask box. Another thing I want to add is that I'm not accepting requests at the moment. I'll let you all know when I am, but right now, requests are closed. Anyway, to my new or returning readers, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Taglist for my Isekai'd!Reader one-shot series and my overall taglist: @xyji, @chirikoheina, @yoru-trash, @kwelibeeery, @deartoru, @luminarymoonlight, @toobytub, @ins4nebish, @bokuto-kinnie, @honeybedo, @exhaustedcommunist, @jadedist, @mompt2, @chalksdreams, @thelost-in-time, @ventisweetheart, @hispasian-otaku, @juuuuuj101010, @alteeeeyang, @samarill, @testsubject0012, @irisxiel, @emilymikado, @mabie, @vinnie-w, @n8mareee, @bajifairyy, @heyimkay, @milkpeanuts476, @eliciana, @blesstosuisen, @goldeneclipsedragon, @jjvr4yxc, @sovermike-21-blog, @vox34, @wynncrites, @skyyyyackerman, @undecidingfate, @nightlysunn, @faeryminnyx, @simpcreator, @lucifarts-boxers, @urlocalheizousimp, @sunlightstarr (Accounts that I was unable to tag have been removed. Those who don't want to be tagged in certain stories are not tagged in this particular post. Remember to check your settings if you're allowing people to mention you/tag you in posts or not)