Hyperfixating Bunny @mentallyilllagomorph - Tumblr Blog

#sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police #correct quotes

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mentallyilllagomorph

Where sam goes after the inventory.

#sam and max #poker night 2

How to know if it's gonna rain?

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mentallyilllagomorph

Sam: The best security is to look like you don't need security.

Max: And Crossbows

Sam: And Crossbows

mentallyilllagomorph

Max: Hey Geek, I'm gonna put you on speaker for a second while I clean up the blood real quick-

Geek: Blood? Who's blood?

Max: oh, don't be so fussy. It's my blood.

Geek: where did this blood come from?

Max: a stab wound.

Geek: you were stabbed?

Max: Of course not.

Geek: where is the stab wound.

Max: on the stomach.

Geek: Your stomach?

Max: no.

Geek: how did this blood become yours?

Max: I stole his blood bank donor card.

#incorrect quotes #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police #darla gugenheek

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mentallyilllagomorph

Max: I love friends to lovers stories! I want a friends to lovers story where nothing changes when they become loves. They just kiss sometimes.

Sam: *Kisses Max* how's that?

Max: Hit me again, I like it.

#incorrect quotes #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police #freelance husbands #sam and max freelance husbands #gay pride #gay

mentallyilllagomorph

Max: Do you think drinking thirty-six cans of red bull consecutively would make my senses more heightened or would I just die?

Sam, snatching the can: Max No! You're legally not allowed to drink energy drinks anymore.

Sam: Let me test your theory. *chugs*

Max, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.

Sam, from the next room: Who the f-

#incorrect quotes #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police

Max: It's Kind of embarrassing to laugh at a joke that someone else makes.

Max: it's like, ooh~ I'm pregnant with your humour, i'm giggling and it's yours~

Sam:..... remind me, I need to refill your perscriptions.

#incorrect quotes #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police #freelance husbands #sam and max freelance husbands

Sam: I thought I was bisexual for a long time because I have a lot of reverence for women.

Sam: Now I know that's the gayest thing you can have. Straight men don't like women.

Max: No way! I never knew I was straight.

Sam: wait no.

#incorrect quotes #sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police #freelance husbands #sam and max freelance husbands

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*Sam is doing Yoga in the office*

Max: Since when do you work out.

Sam: I'm not, I've found relaxing my muscles helps me to crack my back easier to allow me to release the pent up farts from our poor diet.

Max: and that works?

Sam: *twists his left leg opposite his torso and as his spine cracks, Sam releases a 15 second long fart* oh thank god.

#sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police #incorrect quotes

Football.

#sam the duck

Max: there is an ancient evil inside of me and it will devour anyone who gets too close to me whole...

Sam: honestly your stomach was so cavernous to fit all your snacks I could probably live comfortably inside that gastro-interior condo.

Max: I don't think I'm prepared for pregancy at this time. Can we reschedule for winter when I don't have to compromise this Sexy beach bod?

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Sam, cooking: when you realize strawberries aren’t berries but bananas are and you’ve been lied to your whole life.

Max, handing Sam ingredients: Raspberries aren’t either, and kiwi are a bird.

Sam, slicing a kiwi: honestly they look like people in gunniesacks when they run.

#fruit or bird?#YOU DECIDE!#sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police #incorrect quotes

juneyybee

-drinkin

Max having a little drinky

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Sam: what are you doing?

Max: chugging cranberry juice before drinking a Dr. Dill's soda.

Sam: why?

Max: to keep my body guessing, I am to train my urinary track to shoot kidney stones like a machine gun!

Sam: Add asparagus for posion damage.

#sam and max #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #freelance police #incorrect quotes

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