Mike Driver
i don't do bad sauce passes
Cosimo Galluzzi

titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
d e v o n
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Misplaced Lens Cap
cherry valley forever

Origami Around
DEAR READER
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

PR's Tumblrdome
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
YOU ARE THE REASON

shark vs the universe

if i look back, i am lost
NASA
Claire Keane

seen from Malaysia
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from Germany
seen from Singapore
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Belgium

seen from Malaysia

seen from Canada
seen from Spain

seen from Finland

seen from United States
@mentallyilllagomorph

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The World of Ultimate Gaming
Where sam goes after the inventory.
How to know if it's gonna rain?
Tumblr loads for shit on mobile despite wifi connection
Sam: The best security is to look like you don't need security.
Max: And Crossbows
Sam: And Crossbows
Max: Hey Geek, I'm gonna put you on speaker for a second while I clean up the blood real quick-
Geek: Blood? Who's blood?
Max: oh, don't be so fussy. It's my blood.
Geek: where did this blood come from?
Max: a stab wound.
Geek: you were stabbed?
Max: Of course not.
Geek: where is the stab wound.
Max: on the stomach.
Geek: Your stomach?
Max: no.
Geek: how did this blood become yours?
Max: I stole his blood bank donor card.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Max: I love friends to lovers stories! I want a friends to lovers story where nothing changes when they become loves. They just kiss sometimes.
Sam: *Kisses Max* how's that?
Max: Hit me again, I like it.
Max: Do you think drinking thirty-six cans of red bull consecutively would make my senses more heightened or would I just die?
Sam, snatching the can: Max No! You're legally not allowed to drink energy drinks anymore.
Sam: Let me test your theory. *chugs*
Max, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.
Sam, from the next room: Who the f-
Max: It's Kind of embarrassing to laugh at a joke that someone else makes.
Max: it's like, ooh~ I'm pregnant with your humour, i'm giggling and it's yours~
Sam:..... remind me, I need to refill your perscriptions.
Sam: I thought I was bisexual for a long time because I have a lot of reverence for women.
Sam: Now I know that's the gayest thing you can have. Straight men don't like women.
Max: No way! I never knew I was straight.
Sam: wait no.

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*Sam is doing Yoga in the office*
Max: Since when do you work out.
Sam: I'm not, I've found relaxing my muscles helps me to crack my back easier to allow me to release the pent up farts from our poor diet.
Max: and that works?
Sam: *twists his left leg opposite his torso and as his spine cracks, Sam releases a 15 second long fart* oh thank god.
Football.
Max: there is an ancient evil inside of me and it will devour anyone who gets too close to me whole...
Sam: honestly your stomach was so cavernous to fit all your snacks I could probably live comfortably inside that gastro-interior condo.
Max: I don't think I'm prepared for pregancy at this time. Can we reschedule for winter when I don't have to compromise this Sexy beach bod?
Sam, cooking: when you realize strawberries aren’t berries but bananas are and you’ve been lied to your whole life.
Max, handing Sam ingredients: Raspberries aren’t either, and kiwi are a bird.
Sam, slicing a kiwi: honestly they look like people in gunniesacks when they run.
-drinkin
Max having a little drinky

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Sam: what are you doing?
Max: chugging cranberry juice before drinking a Dr. Dill's soda.
Sam: why?
Max: to keep my body guessing, I am to train my urinary track to shoot kidney stones like a machine gun!
Sam: Add asparagus for posion damage.
loveless marriage