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if i look back, i am lost
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Claire Keane
$LAYYYTER
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@memorytidex
#MEMORYTIDEX. a hoyo & kuro games various muse rp blog. independent. private. as written & interpreted by kiara. featuring muse is mualani from genshin impact. activity is sporadic. but will eventually get to threads & asks.
muse list . memes tag . open starters . permanent interactions call .
rules are under the read more.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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PROMPTS FOR SILENT ACTIONS THAT SAY A LOT * i wrote these with the implication that the sender doesn't say a word before they perform the action. adjust as necessary, send 'reverse' for the reversal of the prompt
[ tug ] sender tugs receiver behind them during a tense moment
[ pull ] sender pulls receiver out of harm's way at the last second
[ tuck ] sender stares at receiver and quietly reaches up, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind receiver's ear
[ yank ] sender yanks receiver closer to them, ending up in semi-suggestive close proximity
[ steady ] sender grabs receiver's arm to steady them before they fall over
[ walk ] sender moves around receiver and walks closest to the street as they travel down the sidewalk, keeping receiver away from any potential danger in the roadway
[ untied ] sender drops to their knee and starts tying receiver's shoe for them
[ spoon ] sender lifts a spoon towards receiver's mouth, encouraging them to eat
[ trace ] sender traces receiver's lips with their thumb
[ pin ] sender pins receiver to a tucked-away spot in the shadows to avoid being caught
[ neck ] without a word, sender dips down to receiver's throat and kisses them soundly
[ handheld ] sender slips a hand behind their back and grabs receiver's fingers as they stand behind them
[ carry ] without asking, sender takes receiver's heavy bags from them and carries them
[ lock ] sender and receiver lock eyes across the room
[ drink ] sender brings receiver a drink and holds it to their lips, insisting they take a drink
[ reload ] sender reloads receiver's gun for them in the middle of a fight
[ shelter ] sender uses their body to shelter receiver from an explosion or attack
[ carry ] sender picks up receiver and carries them off the battlefield and into a safe spot before running back to the fight
[ toss ] from a secret hiding spot only receiver and sender can see as they avoid an enemy, sender silently gestures to receiver to toss them (their gun, something valuable, etc.)
[ stairs ] sender offers out a hand to help receiver ascend or descend a staircase
[ cover ] sender covers receiver's eyes so they don't witness something gruesome
[ fix ] sender comes up to receiver and fixes their collar and/or tie
[ shake ] to convince receiver not to do something, sender hastily shakes their head from a distance
[ watch ] from a distance, sender taps on their watch to show receiver they're running out of time
[ i'll go ] sender gently pushes receiver back, taking charge and insisting they will handle the dangerous task
[ reach ] through a locked gate, sender reaches for receiver's hand
[ ship ] as receiver's ship takes off from the planet, sender waves to them from the ground and watches them leave
[ protect ] after someone threatens receiver, sender rushes over and gets right in their face to protect them
[ punch ] after someone attacks receiver, sender rushes over and punches them in retaliation
[ nip ] sender playfully nips at receiver's neck
[ knuckles ] sender kisses receiver's knuckles in a polite gesture
[ squeeze ] sender gives receiver's butt a playful squeeze from behind
[ danger ] as an all-powerful receiver is about to lose control of their powers and cause massive damage, sender finds their eyes and tries to talk them down
[ goodbye ] without saying a word, sender approaches receiver and kisses them goodbye
[ wipe ] sender wipes a tear from receiver's face
[ location ] without saying anything and giving away the surprise, sender takes receiver to a secret spot
[ hold back ] sender has to hold back receiver from attacking someone
[ game ] sender lets receiver win a game they're playing
[ shower ] sender joins receiver in the shower they're taking
he's so silly
the new yoimiya outfit... i'm crazyyyyyy she is soo prettty - 🐍
★ 【hari】 「 🎆🎇🎆 」 ✔ reposting permitted (9.2.25) ☆ follow btt’s fanart twitch stream!
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angst-y sentence starters
if you are sending to a multi-muse, remember to specify the muse that the sentence starters are being sent for .
“ I never asked you to save me - I asked you to stay. ”
“ You keep saying you’re fine, but I can still see the blood on your hands. ”
“ Don’t touch me. Everyone I love ends up broken. ”
“ I forgave you the first three times. There won’t be a fourth. ”
“ You weren’t there when I needed you most, so why are you here now? ”
“ I stopped counting the days since you left - turns out forever is shorter than I thought. ”
“ All those promises you made sound like lies when I say them out loud. ”
“ I kept your side of the bed empty for a year. It’s time to admit you’re not coming back. ”
“ You look at me like I’m a ghost, but you’re the one who killed us. ”
“ I would have burned the world down for you. You wouldn’t even cross the street. ”
“ Say it. Say you never loved me so I can finally stop hoping. ”
“ The worst part isn’t that you lied - it’s that I still believed you. ”
“ I practiced smiling in the mirror so you wouldn’t notice I’m falling apart. ”
“ You taught me how to trust again. Thanks for the lesson. ”
“ Every time you walk away, a piece of me goes with you. ”
“ I didn’t lose you. You threw me away the moment someone better came along. ”
“ Stop apologizing. The damage is already done. ”
“ I still reach for you in my sleep and wake up colder than before. ”
“ You said ‘forever’ like it was easy. ”
“ I keep replaying the last time you said my name, trying to hear love in it. ”
“ The silence after you left is louder than any fight we ever had. ”
“ I was ready to die for you. You weren’t even willing to live for me. ”
“ Tell me where it hurts, so I know where to stop touching. ”
“ You moved on so fast I didn’t even get the chance to miss you properly. ”
“ I built my whole world around you, and you just walked out the door without looking back. ”
“ The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves to survive loving you. ”
“ I finally deleted your number. My phone still autocorrects ‘I’m sorry’ to your name. ”
“ You weren’t the villain - you were just cruel with good intentions. ”
“ I hate that I still check if you’re okay when I’m the one bleeding. ”
“ We didn’t break up. We slowly tore each other apart until there was nothing left to save. ”
“ You said you’d never make me cry. Look at me now. ”
“ I keep the voicemail you left the night everything fell apart. I’ve listened to it so many times I know your pauses by heart. ”
“ Loving you feels like drowning in slow motion while you stand on the shore. ”
“ I wasn’t enough to make you stay, but I was enough to make you feel guilty about leaving. ”
“ You came back like nothing happened, but I’m still picking up pieces you don’t even see. ”
“ I stopped leaving the porch light on. You never noticed anyway. ”
“ The saddest part is I still defend you when people ask why I’m not over it. ”
“ You didn’t just break my heart - you broke my ability to believe anyone else. ”
“ I finally understand why you always said ‘don’t get attached.’ You never planned on staying. ”
“ Every happy memory we had now feels like evidence in a crime scene. ”
“ I wish I could hate you. It would hurt less than this. ”
“ You keep asking what you can do to fix this. Start by going back in time. ”
“ I smiled in all the photos so no one would know you were destroying me behind them. ”
“ The hardest part of letting go is realizing you let go first. ”
“ I still flinch when someone says your name like it’s a curse. ”
“ You weren’t a chapter - you were the whole book, and now it’s on fire. ”
“ I didn’t lose feelings. They were murdered, slowly, every time you chose not to choose me. ”
“ I hope one day you look for me in a crowded room and feel what I feel every single day. ”
“ You walked away like it was easy, but I’m still here trying to remember how to breathe without you. ”
“ I finally stopped waiting for you. That’s the closest thing to healing I’ve managed so far. ”
SUNSPRAY SUMMER 4EVER
I am redownloading WuWa, lets see how long my patience can last until I uninstall the game because of how bad the lag is.
I want to make a carrd soooo badly~~~
But.... I haven't done html coding in SOOOOO LONG~~~
𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝: a little assortment of prompts revolving around painful, bottled up affection and endless yearning, as well as the possible result of finally taking action. remember to tag your dark themes. add +reverse to swap the roles.
[ 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 ] : receiver notices sender looking at them longingly. [ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 ] : receiver hears sender calling their name while asleep. [ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐭𝐡 ] : sender drapes a coat / cape / etc. around receiver's shoulders. [ 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : receiver is hugging a coat / cape / etc. that belongs to the sender. [ 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦 ] : sender is helping the receiver through a panic attack / severe anxiety. [ 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 ] : sender takes a hold of receiver's both hands. [ 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are spooning for comfort and warmth. [ 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 ] : sender and receiver are finally about to kiss, but are interrupted. [ 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 ] : sender and receiver are finally sharing a passionate kiss. [ 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 ] : sender has just found the receiver who's been missing for weeks. [ 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬 ] : after being misinformed that the sender has died, receiver is grieving. [ 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝 ] : sender is expressing anger over receiver's constant recklessness. [ 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 ] : sender is voicing their negative opinion about a person who appears to be close with the receiver. [ 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 ] : sender has just told receiver "you belong to me". [ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 ] : sender has just asked receiver "why don't you love me". [ 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 ] : sender has harmed someone who threatened the receiver. [ 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐦 ] : sender has killed someone who threatened the receiver. [ 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 ] : sender has gotten injured protecting the receiver. [ 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 ] : sender is getting frustrated with their repressed affection and asks receiver to leave them alone. [ 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 ] : unable to handle their fondness towards receiver, the sender lashes out and they end up in a heated argument. [ 𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 ] : sender is apologising for appearing cold. [ 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 ] : sender is telling receiver they "deserve better than whatever this is".
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🐝 * ― 𝑵𝑶𝑵-𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺. ( some triggering content ahead. add " + " to reverse the action. )
[ wipe ] sender wipes away receiver's tears [ hurt ] sender hurts receiver with words [ lonely ] sender finds receiver alone in a dark room [ wounded ] sender patches up receiver's wounds [ crying ] sender finds receiver crying [ help ] sender runs to receiver when they scream for help [ nightmare ] sender wakes receiver up from a nightmare [ dying breath ] sender talks to receiver before dying [ hold on ] sender pulls receiver into their arms [ anger ] sender takes their anger out on receiver [ argue ] sender gets into a heated argument with receiver [ scared ] sender scares receiver [ sick ] sender cares for receiver while they are sick [ palm ] sender places a hand on receiver to stop them from doing something [ fight ] sender gets into a physical fight with receiver [ comfort ] sender tries to comfort receiver [ blood ] sender notices that receiver is bleeding [ collapse ] sender collapses into receiver's arms [ pressure ] sender puts pressure on receiver's wound [ slap ] sender slaps receiver in the face [ panic ] sender helps receiver through a panic attack [ lie ] sender catches receiver in a lie [ sobs ] sender sobs uncontrollably while receiver holds them [ hiding ] sender finds out that receiver has hidden an injury from them [ death ] sender just died, receiver finds out [ chin up ] sender lifts receiver's chin to stop them from hiding their tears [ fears ] sender talks to receiver about their fears [ scream ] sender screams at receiver [ coping ] sender teaches receiver some coping mechanisms [ loss ] sender is there for receiver after they've lost someone important to them [ needs ] sender asks receiver what they need [ bullet ] sender takes a bullet for receiver [ bruises ] sender finds bruises of unknown origin on receiver [ rainfall ] sender finds receiver out alone in the rain [ hospital ] sender wakes up in a hospital bed and finds receiver sitting by their bedside [ intrude ] sender walks in on receiver treating their wounds [ calming ] sender tries to calm down receiver [ inspection ] sender holds receiver's face while inspecting an injury they got [ rescue ] sender carries receiver to safety [ clean ] sender cleans blood off of receiver's body
No, no he didn't particularly enjoy the thought of w–! Surprised by the sudden approach of archon, the architect's thoughts came to a sudden halt there she, so warmly, offered to approve a travel permission for him. To the ocean. For the sake of search – Ah, the thought alone had Kaveh's head spinning.
"L–Lord Kusanali," he'd stutter under a gentle response, attempt to swallow the passing doubts he had expressed earlier. "That won't be necessary ... I – I have all the shallow ponds and reasonably sized rivers that I need here! I can appreciate those perfectly fine, there is no need to go through such hassle for... a travel permit to the... ocean."
He wouldn't even say unless you need me to, for there were limits as to what he'd do for their archon. There'd certainly be no conversing or studying sea creatures or underwater architecture on these parts!
Nahida smiles up at him, listening to him, as he assured himself of the 'safety' he feels with the waters Sumeru has to offer instead. She's glad he didn't take her moment of eavesdropping negatively. However... She brought a finger to her chin, elbow perched on her other hand as she tilts her head.
"Oh? I assumed you'd taken an interest."
She is sure, undoubtably, that there is some amazing architect he would find down below. But he gave her his reasonings inbetween his words, with the hesitation and stutter of his words. She then gave a reassuring smile, arms now returning to her sides, hoping to ease his anxiousness around the topic. "Perhaps a trip to Fontaine? The waters there are not as deep as the main ocean surrounding Teyvat. And it's very well lit, not a single ominous, dark corner of it."
"wow.... so, even the moon goddess can get grounded?"
[ earlobe ] a light nibble on the partner's earlobe [ teasing ] a light brushing of lips against a partner's skin without fully kissing [ neck ] a kiss or gentle sucking on the partner's neck
Kinich is kissing his girlfriend several different ways and he's not going to stop.
𝑫𝑰𝑭𝑭𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑰𝑺𝑺 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑶𝑵𝑬. ( @captivemuses )
When Mualani asks for kisses, she's so used to catching him off guard, to see the tint of pink that fights is way onto his cheeks. It was usually really, really cute. However, there were times he flusters her and this was one of those times.
Cheeks burning red as she thought he was going in for a hug, but he tricked her! Nibbling her ear has her lift her shoulder in a vain attempt to block the kisses. Her heart was pounding in her chest like the ipu playing during celebrations and parties in her tribe. Thankfully Ajaw was nowhere to be seen, unable to handle the teasing of the saurian.
When his lips leave her ear, she finally releases the breath she was holding. The tingle that crawls under where his lips graze over her skin. Her breathing getting heavy, in another vain attempt to calm her beating heart. His lips have brought up a trail of goosebumps to form along the invisible trail he left on her skin.
Before he begins pressing kisses onto her neck, he holds her so tight against his chest. Her blush paints her cheeks deep orange, her heart pounding and she brings a hand up to rest at the back of his head. Mualani was rarely, if ever, left speechless; yet here she was caught under her boyfriend's affections. She can tell, just from him not letting go of her, he wasn't stopping and...
She doesn't want him to...
Nami theme:
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Nicole's Finances Headcanon
So we know the running gag of Nicole being in debt to a lot of people, including the Proxies, as well as almost going bankrupt six times. Everyone thinks it's because she's just bad with money, however it's a lot more deeper than that.
Nicole was an orphan as a child, and because of a certain friend she had, she found how just the act of Denny's can buy happiness. They didn't have enough for the suit for her friend, but with her thinking she was able to bring sunlight into her sick friend's window just as her friend wanted before dying.
I believe Nicole got adopted and ran away from a wealthy, but snooty and cruel, family. That'll be a headcanon for another day.
We can see from interactions with Billy and Anby ( I can't remember Nekomata's lines about it ) that they get paid rather well. Billy's able to invite the Proxies to a group dinner, Anby is able to go to the movies all the time, etc. So, they aren't being underpaid when in her group.
The real reason she's constantly in the red is because she donates a large portion of the funds to the orphanage that she grew up in. It comes out of her own part of the commissions, but she won't tell anyone about this deep, deep secret. Afterall, she can't be the Cunning leader that the world sees her, if they all knew how soft she is with orphans. That's a weakness opposing gangs will take advantage of.
She'd much rather have the reputation of a 'bad spender', 'bad with money', etc. so long as the orphange is well taken care of. And we see that when we find out in game that she buys a group of orphan kids ramen from Waterfall Soup.
She may be donating TOO MUCH, but all her part of the funds ends up going to the orphange. However, that's a secret she will take to the grave unless someone catches her in the act.
🐝 * ― 𝑫𝑰𝑭𝑭𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑻 𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑲𝑰𝑺𝑺 𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑶𝑵𝑬.
[ peck ] a quick, light kiss on the partner's lips or cheek [ french ] a deep, passionate kiss with the use of tongue [ forehead ] a gentle kiss on the partner's forehead, conveying care and affection [ spiderman ] an upside-down kiss, just like in the movie [ mistletoe ] a playful or romantic kiss under a mistletoe [ hand ] a chivalrous kiss on the back of the partner's hand [ lingering ] a long, slow kiss filled with emotion and desire [ neck ] a kiss or gentle sucking on the partner's neck [ nape ] a kiss placed at the nape of the partner's neck [ teasing ] a light brushing of lips against a partner's skin without fully kissing [ earlobe ] a light nibble on the partner's earlobe [ tango dip ] a kiss shared while one partner is dipped backward [ celebration ] a joyful and exuberant kiss to celebrate an achievement or milestone [ stolen ] a quick, stealthy, and impromptu kiss snatched in secret [ bite ] a playful kiss that involves some light biting [ goodbye ] a heartfelt kiss when parting, showing affection and fondness [ rain ] a romantic kiss in the rain [ scars ] a gentle kiss on the partner's scar(s) [ injury ] a careful kiss on a partner's wound to make it all better [ wedding ] a romantic kiss shared during a wedding ceremony [ comfort ] a tender kiss to provide comfort or reassurance [ sunset ] a kiss shared during sunset, often romantic and serene [ butterfly ] a light fluttering of eyelashes against the partner's skin [ seductive ] a deep, slow, and deliberately intense kiss filled with passion and desire [ shoulder ] a tender kiss on the partner's shoulder [ knuckles ] a kiss on each individual knuckle of the partner [ slow motion ] a kiss in slow motion, accentuating every moment and sensation [ reunion ] a longing kiss shared after being apart for a while [ passionate ] an intense and fiery kiss, expressing raw desire and strong emotion [ underwater ] a kiss shared while submerged in water [ wrist ] a tender kiss on the inside of the partner's wrist [ wake up ] a loving kiss to wake the partner up [ apology ] a kiss offered as a way to apologize or make amends [ hummingbird ] a series of light, rapid, and fluttery kisses on a small area [ trail ] a trail of kisses along the partner's jawline or collarbone [ blowing ] a kiss in the air and send of the gesture towards the partner [ surprise ] a sudden kiss to catch the partner off guard [ hickey ] a kiss that's supposed to leave a mark on the partner's skin [ single lip ] a sucking or nibbling of one of the partner's lips [ nose ] an affectionate gesture where partners rub their noses together
