find something better

If you have a clap light in the bedroom, rough sex becomes a rave party

willy wonka’s chocolate factory

Jesus Christ if you read it in a book you’d say it was too on the nose. What the fuck.

Republicans make confectioners donate all their candy to them while the democrats pitch in to pay for the candy are you fucking kidding me…I had to read the article myself and it’s somehow worse than I thought

in times like these people say things like “we need to throw it all out and start over” which is absolutely true but we also need to divest of all this whimsical shit in its entirety. if I saw, with my eyeballs, a congressperson like, vote against raising minimum wage or whatever and then take a handful of literal candy from a communal candy desk and then hop on the Magical Senator Train to Clown Town I would be in prison for murder.

Hearing your favourite song on the radio is always better than hearing it on your playlist