haha

two worms in love are soilmates

yall ever sleep from 1700-2200 and call it a nap bc

i thought this was about years. but yes

Nothing says self care like a 5,000 year long nap

im really sorry but thats 500 years

The camera turned on by itself I am no model

Special thanks to all the 10 year olds out there for making all those music lyric videos on Youtube

due to personal reasons I’m suing the entire human race

It’s only a matter of time until someone uses a drone to kidnap a child

“Middle of the night water” tastes so much better than normal water

Hello, staff? I’d like to report a murder.

“wish I could get away with wearing stuff like that” is shorthand for “I think you dress like a clown but I’m also aware that you’re cooler than me”