Paranatural Starters, Chapter 3
“That is an awesome superpower!”
“I guess this makes me a hero now, huh?”
“There’s no history of superpowers.”
“That’s a math thing, [name], look it up.”
“Death cultists love math.”
“You’ll understand when you’re smarter.”
“Is that a friend, [name]?”
“It’s okay to have standards, you know.”
“Hey, how did you find my house? Did [name] send you?”
“Wait, what happened last night?”
“The context usually involves mortal peril.”
“Why isn’t every inch of the earth filled with the ghosts of dead bugs?”
“Your shortcut is downhill? [Setting-appropriate destination] is in the opposite direction! At the opposite elevation!”
“Watch those hair spikes! I don’t want gel poisoning!”
“What!? I broke my brooding persona for nothing!?”
“Do you assess the murderability of ALL your friends?”
“I, uh… don’t think I’m old enough for a symbiotic relationship.”
“Yes, you too can obtain rainbow… bubble… powers by allowing a monstrous, phantom ‘skelk’ to inhabit your genderless grey blob of a body.”
“How them bruises healing?”
“Doctor says to avoid fists.”
“Don’t point your hair at me you chump elf!”
“Don’t start fights so quick, [name].”
“There’s no cheeks more punchable than rich cheeks.”
“How is it you’re able to talk without saying anything? It’s like verbal moonwalking.”
“Here, [name], get on my shoulders and climb.”
“You sure attract some strange company, [name].”
“Pretty sure saints can’t be CEOs.”
“That’s really confusing. Just absolute terrible riddle construction.”
“[Name], I am picking up subtle hints that you are a huge ludicrous oaf.”
“I take it you still want to fight me?”
“Pretty sure I’m enlightened now.”
“We’re not being paid to tell the truth.”
“You nearly chipped my flippin’ skull!”
“I’m trying to help you find a new passion, [name].”
“A life without passion is like a fish without a bicycle in an alternate universe where fish ride bicycles.”
“I possess a plethora of popularity prerequisites. A natural aloofness, good taste in music, a lack of interest in school clubs.”
“Don’t pass out or something’ll come along and eat you.”
“Hey, you best pop off, bro. I’ve got a bad attitude and I know where your knees are.”
“Listen, we’re not so different, you n’ me. Like, our faces are very similar.”
“Can I have my scooter back?”
“I forget where I was going with this, but the takeaway is your parents don’t love each other.”
“He’s probably just unconscious?”
“What have you been doing this whole time?”
“So, um… what exactly happened here and should we call an ambulance?”
“Sports law says you’re dead!”
“To get a license to practice sports law, you have to pass the bar 30 times. With your chin.”
“I didn’t agree to anything!”
“The others will hear about this!”
“Does 911 work in [location], or is there some wacky and random alternative? Like, should I tap my heels together and ~believe~ in ambulances?”
“Hey, whoa, no amateur defibrillation!”
“You have seen the damage a lightning bolt can do. If you wish to be truly just, you must understand the destruction wrought by the shadow of a storm cloud.”
“Learn to appreciate darkness in its more subtle forms, lest its influence deny you the redemption you seek.”
“It is because your heart serves justice, [name], that such missteps as this torment you so.”
“The absurdity of this situation just hit me all at once.”
“I must discuss something serious with you, [name].”
“…I’ll half-swear all I want, you scallion!”
“Honestly, it’s bad enough seeing you in my dreams every night.”
“Ah, umm! That was… exactly what it sounded like, I suppose.”
“Considering the situation, running was a realistic, if not well-reasoned, reaction.”
“You two seem to be getting along. Friends already, I hope.”
“I will answer to the best of my considerably significant ability, and/or the limits of you significantly less considerable authorization.”
“No one will pay you to write about ghosts.”
“It’s a supernatural thing. I wouldn’t worry about it. About how it works, I mean. You should definitely worry about getting your head bitten off.”
“[Name], is that an injury?”
“We all felt the same way. Still do! You won’t find anyone more understanding of what you’re going through than us.”
“Yaaah! Ink on my eyeballs!”
“He’s been looking for an excuse to rub his face on the floor for a while.”
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