Who's this douchebag?

It's been 6 years, and yet I still can't have a normal relationship. 6 years of second guessing. 6 years of negative thoughts, doubting myself, where I stand, what I feel. You've destroyed my mentality, my life, and my positivity. I've gotten over everything, yet you still linger over my head. All the fucked up shit you've done has made me who I am today. I can't have a normal relationship without doubting something. Without feeling ignored, alone, or even unloved. You've caused me nothing but pain and suffering and I fucking hate every ounce of you. Fuck you for everything. I hope you're happy with yourself

Sometimes, I wish I didn't have IRLs on here. So I can vent and say exactly how I feel without anyone knowing who or what I'm talking about.

Thanks for breaking my trust. Thank you for doing the one thing you said you wouldn't. Thank you for doing what everyone else has done. Once again I'm left to wonder why I exist. Why am I treated like this every single god damn time. When is it my turn to be happy and enjoy life. Do I have to go through every single possible heartbreak to get there?

Just once, I'd love to have something meaningful. Instead of being lied to again and again. I'm tired of always feeling like a second option and being cast aside because I don't matter. My feelings are valid too.