Evaluating Parental Alienation
Nothing would make me happier than for a group of people who knew me very well during my years as Rachel’s mother to fill out the forms that apply to the parent, as created by Dr. Craig Childress:
http://drcachildress.org/asp/Site/ParentalAlienation/index.asp
It is draining to live with invisible grief as a constant underpinning of existence, wondering why I was despised and reviled to such an extent that my husband’s family would sacrifice our daughter’s well being in an attempt to obliterate me from her life.
Regarding Parental Alienation:
Every child has a fundamental right and need for an unthreatened and loving relationship with both parents. ... alienated children seem to have a secret wish for someone to call their bluff, compelling them to reconnect with the parent they claim to hate. Note that Peter would never consider challenging, or calling Rachel’s bluff. A product of unapproachable parents, Peter always practiced alienating behaviors at an insidious level. Now he enjoys and prefers keeping Rachel’s love and respect all for himself.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201304/the-impact-parental-alienation-children
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/caught-between-parents/201105/word-mothers-you-can-lose-your-children-parental-alienation
The natural tendency is to deny problems that are not “visible.” But love and concern must overcome this; family members must consider the possibilities of parental alienation and the profound harm that it causes a child, or children.
Dr. Richard A. Warshak wrote, “Mental health professionals who study and work with pathologically alienated children agree that they share characteristic behaviors, feelings, and thoughts. This does not mean that when a child acts, feels, and thinks in these ways we can assume that the primary cause is the influence of the parent with whom the child feels aligned. But when these characteristics are evident, we should be concerned with the child’s suffering, just as we would if a child suffered any other irrational aversion that interfered with the child’s happiness and well being.”
... “Irrationally alienated children learn to curry favor with one parent by echoing that parent’s complaints about the other parent. They learn that it displeases one parent when they show signs of connection and affection with the other parent. Often they refer to the rejected parent by first name or with a term of derision, rather than as Mom or Dad.”
