ME~!

who are u in a group of friends like what’s your Role

I’m clay

pushing back against oldest child stereotypes by making unwise choices and not being dependable

*guy looking down at you after beating the shit out of you* hey i really wanna commend you for being the bigger person here and not stooping to my level. You’re such a better person than me

If you be the bigger person enough then once you die every evil person in your life will bestow a “bigger person award” on your corpse that they’ll throw in a ditch

Hey I’m god right now you just died. I see you refrained from doing something bad to an evil person because you’d be “just like them”. Great job man even though that persons mind didn’t change and no one really benefitted and you kept suffering and that evil person kept hurting people Atleast you were the bigger person. That was the secret key man welcome to heaven

a guy shoots at me with a sniper rifle and I catch the bullet in my teeth and eat it, but he saw that coming and put poison in the bullet, but I saw that coming and drank an antidote ahead of time, but all those weird chemicals still give me a really bad kidney stone a few days later and I pass out from pain and crash my car into, by pure coincidence, the sniper

a chainsaw is a lot like a hot glue gun

when you have one in your hands you start to get Ideas about your surroundings

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

i m a normal girl who has normal thoughts all yhe time

they should give me landmines