Melbourne Aros

Welcome to the sixth edition of #AggressivelyArospecWeek!

#AggressivelyArospecWeek (#AAW) is a week-long event promoting the creation of arospec fancontent by arospec creators.

Our event aims to create a space where arospec creators are free to explore their identities through fanwork. We believe that fandom is a great way to share our passions, our interests and to empower one another in our arospec identities. All while having loads of fun!

Please join us from June 20 to June 26 2021 and enjoy a small explosion of arospec fancontent. You’re welcome to submit any type of content for the event, whether it be fanfic, headcanons, mixtapes, fanart,… Anything goes!

Any content you submit has to be centered around a character’s arospec identity (whether that character is canonically arospec or you headcanon them as so.) Content can be about any fandom whatsoever!

To submit, please make a new post during the event week and tag it as #AggressivelyArospecWeek, or submit your work directly to our blog through the ask and submission boxes. Your post will then be reblogged on the Aggressively Arospec blog.

We also have a Twitter account, so use the hashtags #AggressivelyArospecWeek and #AAW21 if you tweet about your work on there. You can also mention us in your tweet to be sure we don’t miss it and can retweet it. Do submit through tumblr if you can, however, since that is the best way to get your contribution archived with all the others.

Lastly, a collection will be opened on Archive of our Own to round up all the fanfics posted on there.

We can’t wait to see what you have in store for us this year!

Go and think about what kinds of relationships you want. Don’t think about labels like romantic or platonic or sexual, think purely about what relationships would make you happiest.

When I realized I was aromantic, I was asked things like “Would you still date? Would you have a QPR? Will you ever kiss?”

But the aromantic community didn’t ask that. Instead, they focused on “What do you want in a world where anything is possible?”

And I realized I want to be alone, surrounded by friends and family I love who are close enough, I can bring them fresh baked scones when I overbake.

They asked me “What do you want?” and the question was so broad, I could weigh labels in my hand like queerplatonic partner and nonpartnering and significant other. I could look at these and shrug and say, “What I want is to not worry about questions I don’t care about.” I could shelve these indefinitely. Maybe even forever. And just enjoy being myself.

The aromantic community celebrates exploration. Tells people asking if they are aromantic, “This is a personal decision. Your personal decision. If this label helps you, take it. If this community helps you, stay as long as you need. You don’t have to be labelled anything, aromantic or otherwise, unless it would bring you comfort. You don’t have to be anything you aren’t.”

Drop completely the concept that love is something that makes us human, that it’s something we need, that it’s something everyone wants.

Be very careful of thinking aros need to be more loving or love their friends more or anything like that to “make up for their aro-ness”. A. there’s nothing to make up for because aros aren’t lacking in anything, but also B. that just isn’t every aro person’s experience. Some aros do invest a lot in their friends, but not all. And they don’t have to. Not all aros are close to other people. These aros need to be remembered too.

Be aware that aro or not, some people have a hard time connecting to other people or even feeling love at all. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s especially common for neurodivergent people to sometimes have trouble connecting to other people or feeling emotions the way neurotypical people do. Sometimes people who are dealing with trauma also have trouble connecting with, or don’t feel like they love, other people.

On that note, be wary of the concept that there’s any kind of morality to how someone feels love. Morality comes from how we treat people and how we act, internal feelings we have no control over isn’t someone’s morality.

I haven’t seen this in a long time but it used to be common for ace stuff, especially outreach stuff to say ‘but we can still love’ to appeal to heteronormative sensibilities. This hurt all aros, but especially loveless aros. Definitely do not do that and push back against it when you see it.

So I’m not a loveless aro myself, and it’s possible there are more things that could be done to be inclusive that I either haven’t thought of or am not doing. I definitely encourage you to look up what loveless aros say on the subject as well and see if there’s other things you can adopt.

And just a note if anyone wants to know what loveless aro means, the lgbta wiki has an entry on it.

WE TOTALLY GOT THE TURTLES ANDANDAND!! A SNAIL TOO!!! (I love snails~!)

Also also!! For my ace followers out there, since I ALSO haven’t seen it pointed out: the turtle with the hat has the gray-ace flag on it!

I don’t even mean this for aspecs. Amatonormativity has taught us ALL that a relationship defines our happiness. A lot of arospecs, acespecs, and allos have put themselves into relationships that they did not want, simply because they were told that it would make them happy. You decide what makes you happy. If it’s not a relationship, that’s fine!

If you have family members nagging you to be in a relationship or friends constantly bugging you about being single or you feel pressured by society to be in a relationship, remind yourself that a relationship does not define you. Plenty of people are in bad romantic/sexual relationships, and maybe you don’t want to take that risk. Or maybe you’re prioritizing your education or your career and don’t want to bother with a relationship. Or maybe you’re arospec or acespec and sex/romance-repulsed and don’t want a relationship. Or you’re arospec/acespec and cannot physically find the Attraction™ to have a relationship. 

[ ID: A series of 10 images titled “Aro Facts” and numbered 1-10. There is an arrow pointing up on the right, and both the demiaro and aro flags at the bottom. Each image has the tiny text “Arospec Week 2020″ at the very bottom.  At the top left is the text on each image:

#01 Aro Facts: “All Aro people are not asexual. While many aro people also identify as ace, many of us do not. Allosexual aro people are completely valid and need more support from our communities. It’s okay for us to experience (and act on) sexual attraction without wanting a romantic relationship. We are not slutty and it’s not low self-esteem.”

#02 Aro Facts: “Aro people can feel love and other/intense feelings. Romantic love is not the only kind of love. There are many different kinds of love, and the love and other/intense feelings we experience are just as important and valid as romantic love.”

#03 Aro Facts: “Some Aro people don’t experience love or other/intense feelings. Some of us don’t experience any kind of strong emotions, and that’s okay. We are healthy and worthy of respect even if we don’t experience love or other/intense feelings. Our lack of these feelings does not make us broken and is not a mental illness.”

#04 Aro Facts: “Aro people can have friendships that include sensual/sexual intimacy. We get to decide what our friendships (and all our relationships) look like, and we may choose to have sensual or sexual elements in our friendships.”

#05 Aro Facts: “Aro people belong in the LGBTIQA+ community. We belong here. Our experiences as Aro people have commonalities with the experiences of alloromantic LGBTQIA+ people.”

#06 Aro Facts: “Aro people are not just bitter or jaded from bad relationships. Some Aros may have experienced bad relationships, but identifying as Aro is not out of bitterness from bad relationships. We don’t just need to ‘find the right person.’ We are whole and complete without romance.”*

#07 Aro Facts: “Aro people can be polyamorous. Being Aro can often mean operating outside of common ideas about relationships, and that includes monogamy. It’s totally possible for Aros to be involved in polyamorous situations and relationships.”

#08 Aro Facts: “Demiromantic people still experience stigma like Aro people. Our relationship with romance is different, but we still experience stigma, alienation, and the messages that we are abnormal or broken. It’s important for demiromantic people to have a place in the Aro community.”

#09 Aro Facts: “Demiromanticism is different than being alloromantic. Demiaros can experience romantic attraction after there’s a close, emotional bond. This might seem like the same thing as alloromantic people, but can actually be very different, especially when it comes to the order people expect in stages of a relationship.”

#10 Aro Facts: “Demiromantic people don’t think they’re better than alloromantics. Not experiencing romantic attraction until we have a close, emotional bond isn’t something we choose and doesn’t mean we think we’re better than other people. It’s just how we’re wired.”

*Note for #06 Aro Fact – It’s totally valid for someone to identify as Aro because of having a bad or traumatic romantic relationship.  This is only meant to say that all Aros aren’t Aro due to bad relationships, and that “good” relationships are not something Aros “need” in order to be “fixed” – because there is nothing wrong with us.  I just wanted to clarify because there’s not really enough room on the image, but I want to be sure that Aros who identify as Aro specifically because of bad/traumatic relationships know that you are valid and you belong in our communities.

me, misreading:

For our July weekend event, we will be having a broader version of “Christmas in July” online. Getting into the theme is encouraged :)

For our July weekend event, we will be having a broader version of “Christmas in July” online. Getting into the theme is encouraged :)

For our July weekend event, we will be having a broader version of “Christmas in July” online. Getting into the theme is encouraged :)