nonsensical bullshit

Like yeah so ACTUALLY Vongola primo had ANOTHER bestest friend who was his REAL equal and he helped build Vongola with Primo. He’s got compass shaped pupils and is super strong and handsome. Also he’s got a new type of flame that isn’t from the sky, cuz he’s teh earth, and that’s the symbol that he and Vongola primo are like. Soulmates, but totally not in a gay way! But you’ve never heard of him cuz nebbia primo, who looks EXACTLY like infamous criminal Rokudo Mukuro, secretly BETRAYED primo and tried to have his best friend killed. So Primo and Cozart made a plan to trick him! And then they never saw each other again but their souls still remember and they have this super special awesome combo flame and and and—

Original oc DONUT STEAL and it’s just a picture of Enma with a smile photoshopped onto him and the brightness on his hair turned up

Class trip to Italy

Class reunion

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

it's hard to make a coherent argument for phonological changes because text-based website. lets ignore that one lol

from a morphological and vocabulary-based standpoint, there's a few. consider "glup shitto" and "blorbo", as well as generalized affix fuckery like -"ito" as a diminutive, as examples of morphemes originally from tumblr. we also have the concept of the Sexyman (derogatory)

most of the really interesting tumblrspeak comes from syntax though. there is of course the oft-mocked, parodied, and misunderstood Tumblr Prose, where someone just sticks words together in an order that sort of conveys an aesthetic-based meaning as long as you don't think about it too hard and realize it doesn't make a whole lot of sense together

it's obvious what is being conveyed here even though the words barely function together. beyond Tumblr Prose, we also have Emphasis And Nounification Through Capital Letters, and its inverse where everything is lowercase unless it's being emphasized, as well as using sentences that while easily parseable by a reader do lack a lot of punctuation that would be desired by stricter english speakers often commas and periods. this last trait is particularly despicable considering the high amount of neurodivergence among tumblr users makes us very prone to run-on sentences anyway

there is also using "lol" and "lmao" similar to STOP on a telegraph, though it's hard to say how exclusive to tumblr this is

He's been at work for exactly 0 minutes. 😭