with fat pussy comes fat responsibility

ppl in big cities be like "south side" "east end" "upper west side" "north beach" "southwest corner" "left area" "diagonal land"

in small towns we dont need all this specifity nonsense when giving directions. its either by the walmart or its on the opposite side from the walmart

My bf told me that I laugh almost every night in my sleep and I also slap him and deliver swift kicks regularly. Apparently I also put my fingers in his mouth but honey that’s all part of the package ❤️

In the 90s we would send companies “hate mail” by stuffing prepaid envelopes with things like ‘blanks’ (flat heavy metal pieces), a roofing shingle) and layers of other competitors’ mail or junk news. This is because the company would have to pay more upon recieving the junk mail. It eats into them. It actually somewhat reduced our junk mail returnables, I think.  Send that mail y’all. 

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day