Art commission + Shop: OPEN

A friend and I spent a whole night doing Xiaoven dates uwu I want to upload the whole album somewhere bc it’s all pretty af!!

gfsklgjsd It started as one, but I ended up making 3 Genshin OCs ;;; First one is baby Ziyou ;w; I ended up giving her a massive backstory, but that’s something I really want to draw out >< Hopefully I’ll be motivated to do so..!

Small reference sheet for Ziyou! She’s an anemo vision holder!

If I had to describe 2020 in one word, it’d be “YIKES”.

Here in Australia, we started the year off with bushfires, then came in the pandemic straight after. And of course there were so many other issues that happened, including racism against POC, protests, numerous manmade and natural disasters, and of course, so many other issues that went unnoticed by the media. I know these issues happen continuously, but with the amount of negativity that happened in 2020, these issues are made more apparent ;;;

And it’s not just world issues. I noticed that people had many personal issues too. I know a couple of friends and customers who pretty much had a year full of bad luck. Even myself, I started the year with a sick pet, lost a pet, lost another pet, family issues, rejections and of course, the usual existential crisis.

Insert big sigh here.

And if I have to be honest, in my 2020, the negative outweighed the positive.

It was just a big heckle of a year. BIG YIKES everyday.

But with my personal issues, there was also some personal growth. Last year was a year of letting go. As someone who hates change and has separation anxiety, it’s hard for me to let go of anything. But it’s been getting better.

I learned how to let go of my childhood dream. I’ve always wanted to be a vet ever since I was young. With my reputation as the “animal lover” I unknowingly felt pressured into becoming a vet. Thinking back about it, my pursuit was pushed only by the expectations that were put unto me. I worked hard to pursue this dream, only to be constantly rejected. I still have an animal related degree under my belt, but I wasn’t satisfied. It wasn’t... vet. But... After meeting so many people and hearing about their experiences, I realised, the veterinary field really is not for me. Perhaps, becoming a vet nurse, tech or even an animal attendant would be fine, but to become an actual veterinarian? Hmm. And thus, after the last rejection I got in pursuing this dream, I am now pursuing another pathway. Will I be happy in this pathway? Will I become successful? I don’t know, but I’d like to think that when another door closes, another door opens. I still love animals, and I would still love to work with them! But I now know, there are so many other careers I can do involving them. 

I learned how to let go of loved ones. I don’t think I’ve ever really announced it officially here on Tumblr, but Sky ended up passing away in May. Hatched on the 21st of June, 2017, she passed on May 3rd, 2020. I grieved for so long, and if I have to be honest, I’m still grieving. Everything that reminds me of her, would make me tear up. However, instead of going into existential crisis mode, during my time of grieving, I have learned how to become grateful instead. I’m grateful that I was able to meet and take care of such a wonderful friend, and now, I have a duty to continue caring for her two sisters, Cloud and Storm.

I do have more examples of how I learned how to “let go” in 2020, but those are slightly a bit more personal uwu Also for the sake of shortening this post 

Now, if I have to be realistic, I can’t say that 2021 will be any better. Cases are increasing again here in Australia and with stupid people being stupid, who knows what will happen this year?

But that’s exactly it - Who knows what will happen this year? I have so many things I want to do this year, so many things I want to try and so many doors I want to open. Unlike last year where I sunk, procrastinated and moped around, I want to become more productive and more ambitious. With me currently pursuing another pathway, who knows what kinds of opportunities will arise? I can’t say that 2021 will be a much a happier year than 2020, but with the new year being here and all, it’s exciting. The future is scary, yes, and you may face so many disappointments in life. But it wouldn’t mean it’s game over. You’re still here. You can still keep playing and continue.

So with that said, again, I wish everyone a happy new year! Stay safe and healthy!