The love of my life wants to run TOWARD the fireworks.

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occasionally subtle

Sade Olutola
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
untitled

izzy's playlists!
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

oozey mess
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if i look back, i am lost

romaā

#extradirty

Love Begins

shark vs the universe
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One Nice Bug Per Day
𩵠avery cochrane š©µ
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@meganxiety
The love of my life wants to run TOWARD the fireworks.

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There is intentional power when one stops reading a book they no longer are interested in.
Took me a long time to get there but uh, some things arenāt worth spending your precious time on.
Mary Catmas things
I would like to thank the Rose Siblings of Schitt$ Creek for their representation of grown(ish) millenials who:
live with their parents
have completely unwarranted and unshakable faith in the fact they are Better Then You
impeccable yet consistently situationally inappropriate fashion senseĀ
personally offended when things cost money because what even is money but a socially constructed capitalist tool of oppression and also I Do Not Have Any
completely counterproductive combination of desperately longing to be loved, intense aversion to vulnerability, and habitual avoidance of commitment
would 100% murder for each other but like are obviously gonna complain the whole ass time
literally useless at real lifeĀ
big gay
Itās really just reasonable solidarity but ok

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Comic from 12-15-2014
PATREON
If you donāt have means to a therapist or mental health professional
Check out therapistaid.com. Thereās worksheets there that you can download for free.
Of course it would be a lot more beneficial if you have a therapist to help you through it but not everyone has access to one.
Itās a free site where you can have free downloads of worksheets on many things.
If thereās something there that you think would be helpful, print it out and complete the worksheet on your own.
Itās hard to be accountable for yourself but at least thereās a way for you to have some insight and work on yourself.
Also if you use these in conjunction with the app Wysa
therapistaid is great, i get resources from there to use with my clients. here are some others
https://psychologytools.com/
https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/
https://www.actmindfully.com.au/free_resources_worksheets,_handouts_and_book_chapters
https://www.anxietybc.com/
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/
Thank you.
This website also has many workbooks:
https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself
I still think Moana deserved an Oscar for this part
To me, the moral of Moana is that only women can help other women heal from male violence.Ā
The movie starts with the idea that the male god who wronged Te Fiti must be the one to heal her. This seems to make a certain sort of intuitive sense in that I think we all believe that if you do something wrong you should try to make it right. But how does he try to right it? Through more violence. Of courseĀ that failed.Ā
It was only when another woman, Moana, saw past theĀ ādemon of earth and fireā that the traumatized Te Fiti had become (what a good metaphor for trauma, right?) and met her with love instead of violence that she was able to heal. Note that they do the forehead press beforeĀ Moana restores the heart, while Te Fiti is still Te KÄ. Moana doesnāt wait for her beautiful island goddess to appear in all her green splendor before greeting and treating her as someone deserving of love.
Moana is only able to restore the heart because Te KÄ reveals her vulnerability and allows Moana to touch her there. Maui and his male violence could only ever have resulted in more ruin.
@i-want-cheese
This is a touching anaylisis but itās extremely racist as not only have you completely ignored the whole point of Mauiās character, but have managed to incriminate a man of color on a tumblr wide scale.
First of all, Mauiās character does not represent male violenceāit represent human greed. Maui did not take the heart because he is a man, and Te-Fiti is a woman. He took it because the humans asked him to. The humans asked Maui to do everything for them, not caring how greedy or selfish their requests were and in the end it was Maui who suffered for it. Maui is supposed to show the flaw of humanity.
This has nothing to do with sexism, it has everything to do with the fact that Maui gave and gave to the humans who could never stop being greedy. Moana giving the heart back wasnāt supposed to be her āmaking upā for the male violence that Maui represents. It was her making up for the greed she and her people represent. It was touching however because yes it was an important moment between two women, but you missed the point and youāve come off racist and very disrespectful to a culture at that.
Yes, Moana is an empowering movie for women, especially women of color. But the last thing this is about is Maui being an abuser/rapist or whatever. That is not the point of Mauiās character.
And to assume so is racist. You are a white woman completely dehumanizing a man of color and ruining his image because of how you see him. And other white girls here on tumblr have happily picked up that image and interpretation and rolled with it. Mauiās character is now seen as an abuser or as someone who is violently because of white girls here on tumblrāwhich it doesnāt surprise me. (an in a historical context this is even MORE racist because white women would always make Mauiās people out to be savages and abusers etc., simply because of the color of their skin and their culture so yea, this is bad).
You can see the morality of the movie however you want, but do not be disrespectful toward a character and in this case a culture.
@i-want-cheese Please donāt write this off as another ābutthurt commentā or āmale guiltā, because this is really messed up. I see how youāre brushing off some other peopleās comments and I honestly hope that you donāt see mine the same way because this is an issue I think you need to face/realize. You are being racist and brushing it off isnāt going to change that. theĀ
@visibilityofcolor THANK YOU FOR THIS. As a Polynesian woman, reading that post and other replies painting Maui and even Tui as aggressive and violent men had me feeling some type of way, especially since White people have always regarded Polynesian men in such a manner.
Iāve thought about replying because Iām tired of seeing these kind of āMoana is a feminist movieā posts collect hundreds of notes despite the fact that these posts always conveniently fail to mention Pasifika people, but it always stressed me out, so thank you.
As an aside, Maui taking Te Fitiās heart and Moana restoring it was symbolic of environmental preservation. Because the people who inspired MoanaāPasifika people, not just Polynesianāare always affected first when the environment is threatened. Our way of life is greatly influenced by the ocean and we believe that if you take care of the ocean, she will take care of you.
Youāre very welcome.
This is insight for me as well (as I wasnāt aware that the movie also came fro the culture of the Pasifika people), and does give a very important perspective. I do agree with you, this movie is about environmental restoration, not some white fem bullshit.
I tried over and over again to explain to I-want-cheese about how she was being racist, but she responded by blocking me and other poc who called her out (even other polynesian people). People to this day are still trying to explain that she is being racist and culturally insensitive but she ignores us.
Iāve made a few posts about this, hoping that people realize how problematic it is to agree with i-want-cheese. Ā Explaining to her racist white ass that this was problematic was like explaining to a bird. She wouldnāt listen and neither would have of her racist friends.
Sorry youāve had to see this on your dash every so often, but Iām glad my portion of the post is starting to get around. (reblogged to the wrong blog at first lols)
dang reblogging this as a correction for the very first reblog. this why feminist analysis always needs to be intersectional
My heart just cried
the portrayal of Maui is super important here, the disney crew put a LOT of effort into getting him right because he IS a crucial figure to an entire culture- basically a cross between a central religious figure and superman so handling him poorly would be catastrophically disrespectful there are basically only two parts of Mauis legend that they flub- they only tell half of the story of when he was abandoned as a baby, and they skip over that stealing the heart of Te-Fiti so he could give it to humanity was the legend in which he dies yes, canonically Maui dies in his quest to give gifts to humanity, its an important element of why Maui is such a profound character, not just āman who hurt someoneā strawman it gets worse when you discover the OTHER legend they fudged, the story of his birth, reinforces this. Mauis mother had several (Hawaiians only say three, new zealand says five) sons, all named Maui, so when she had ANOTHER son she named him Maui as well, but then cast him into the sea for there was no way she could support another son. the gods did not save Maui, as Moana says, instead they return him to his mother and say she must give him a chance. to which his mother states that for her to take care of him this infant must remove the roof from her house by throwing spears at it. that is the story of Maui the skillful, abandoned as an infant and then immediately told that he must PROVE his worth, after which all he ever does is prove his worth
his brothers mocked him for being a poor fisherman, he crafts a fishook from a jawbone and proceeds to raise new islands from the sea the sky is so low the trees bend, maui raises it for everyone, then fills the new sky with wind
the sun flies so quickly there is not enough time in the day to do the labors for everyone, maui has to lay traps for each of the suns many feet, chase after it as it was slowed, and then threaten to chop its legs off if it would not slow down
he then due to the complaints of the now longer dark night creates the moon and is upset his creation will not please humanity for it does not make sufficient light, then shows it to the sun so that it may learn how to be bright maui was credited with having invented as gifts for humanity the outrigger canoe, stone tools, and seaworthy boats that had no mast or sails. he was credited with inventing tattoos as a gift to dogs, however humanity is still not content so maui descends to the land of the dead to ask the secret of creating fire from the grandmother, who kept it hidden in her fingernails. he dropped the fingernail in the water as he tried to return to the land of the living, came back for another, dropped it as well, and went through all ten fingers and toenails untill he had to then interrogate birds the grandmother had shared the secret with to tell him how
a monstrous eel tried to put the moves on his wife, and again maui had to prove his worth to reclaim her by breaking the monster eelās spine, shoving him into the ground to create the first coconut tree, the single most useful thing for polynesian life, as a gift to humanity yet again Maui, as a mythological figure, did nothing but give from the day he was born. he gave humans tools, land, fire, boats, light, the wind, everything except life itself and he even tried to give them that- and it killed him, he was bitten in two a crucial part of Maui as a legend is that he failed, its literally part of the point, also that he was driven to prove himself endlessly to the (during his life) ungrateful. do not try and drag Maui, its disrespectful on a level i cant express thank the man, you asshole Moana succeeded where he failed, for she saw that she did not have to prove herself. the whole movie up untill then she was trying to put on a brave face (there was literally a cut song āwarrior faceā where maui teaches her Haka), shout her courage, announce to the world at large that she WILL do the thing and fix the world and be the hero, just like Maui
its easy to miss, she stopped trying to prove who she was to anyone, there was nobody she needed to prove herself TO she just WAS herself, and that brought her peace
Oh manā¦this is why itās so important to hear the perspectives of the peoples actually represented. When I was reading through this, the first part seemed to make a lot of sense on the surface, but I could *never* have imagined how racist that perspective was. It makes so much more sense now. Thank you to the folks in this thread who were willing to take the time to share their perspective so that oblivious folks like me could do a little more to chip away at our own internalized racism.Ā
(Also the story of Maui is heckinā sad, gosh :( )
Iām not crying, YOUāRE CRYING
a gentle reminder that you did well this year. you met new people, learned new things and felt new feelings. you did so many things that made you scared. you picked yourself up off the floor after feeling completely defeated or heartbroken. there were some really tough nights but you survived them all. you made people happy just by existing. you accepted many goodbyes but the serendipitous meetings made up for them. it was your own hard work that paid off but you always downplay it or compare yourself to others. thatās not fair on yourself. youāve come so far from the first day of this year. you have more wisdom and strength now. yes, other people seem more āsuccessfulā but does that even matter? please donāt think so lowly of yourself to only think about your failures. 2018 was your year of growth. I hope you take a moment to be kind to yourself, and believe that 2019 will be even better.
yes: lived, loved, learned
By The Way, I Forgive You
A list of my favorite sections of Brandi Carlileās newest album:
By the way, I forgive you / after all, maybe I should thank you / for givinā me what I found / ācause without you around / Iāve been doinā just fine / except for any time I hear that song
Thereās no point now to judge him in vain / if you havenāt been there, you donāt know the pain
They can kick dirt in your face / Dress you down and tell you / That your place is in the middle / When they hate the way you shine
You are not an accident where no one thought it through / The world has stood against us, made us mean to fight for you / And when we chose your name, we knew that youād fight the power too
So they can keep their treasure and their ties to the machine / āCause I am the mother of Evangeline
There are days when I let the darkness rise / I donāt always choose to stay on the sunny side
If I donāt owe you a favor, you donāt know me
And I never said Iām sorry but I meant to / I never met a coward I donāt like
You should always let the sun go down on your anger / Let it burn you to sleep / Bring it closer to danger / to surrender and retreat / sing your sad soul to sleep
The devil donāt take a break

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Theydies and gentlethem
I have just received my first ever unsolicited (or otherwise) dick pic.
Thank u tumblr for keeping me humble.
Already regret āalone and lonelyā as a hashtag
There is nothing weirder than a faceless stranger complimenting your selfies tryna hit you up.
At least try to catfish me first, have some goddamn respect!
Already regret āalone and lonelyā as a hashtag
Fwiw my hair looks lovely
Looks like Iām not going out tonight after all. Plans cancelled. I hate that it feels like such a big deal. I just donāt have a lot of fun anymore. About to just go buy myself a bottle of wine and cuddle with my cat at home I guess.

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My parents took me to dinner after they played cards yesterday and I only cried a little. They had me outline what was stressing me out the most. Always money, debt, insurance, debt, money.
Walked around the neighborhood in the dark for about 40 minutes while I listened to Brandi Carlileās entire album By the Way, I Forgive You. Saw some holiday lights and enjoyed the cool air outside.
Went to bed (before 2am!!) and I must have tossed and turned a lot more than I remember because my ass didnāt get up til noon. But I felt well rested, which is something.
Iāve been invited to a birthday dinner tonight and I braided my hair and shaved my legs before bed yesterday. Excited to just do something fun without thinking about it too much.
Finished reading another novel. Iāve been avidly reading again for a few months now and I still surprise myself with how quickly I go from one book to the next. Some things donāt disappear, even when left dormant for a while.
A BRAVE AND STARTLING TRUTH
by Maya Angelou
We, this people, on a small and lonely planet
Traveling through casual space
Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns
To a destination where all signs tell us
It is possible and imperative that we learn
A brave and startling truth
And when we come to it
To the day of peacemaking
When we release our fingers
From fists of hostility
And allow the pure air to cool our palms
When we come to it
When the curtain falls on the minstrel show of hate
And faces sooted with scorn are scrubbed clean
When battlefields and coliseum
No longer rake our unique and particular sons and daughters
Up with the bruised and bloody grass
To lie in identical plots in foreign soil
When the rapacious storming of the churches
The screaming racket in the temples have ceased
When the pennants are waving gaily
When the banners of the world tremble
Stoutly in the good, clean breeze
When we come to it
When we let the rifles fall from our shoulders
And children dress their dolls in flags of truce
When land mines of death have been removed
And the aged can walk into evenings of peace
When religious ritual is not perfumed
By the incense of burning flesh
And childhood dreams are not kicked awake
By nightmares of abuse
When we come to it
Then we will confess that not the Pyramids
With their stones set in mysterious perfection
Nor the Gardens of Babylon
Hanging as eternal beauty
In our collective memory
Not the Grand Canyon
Kindled into delicious color
By Western sunsets
Nor the Danube, flowing its blue soul into Europe
Not the sacred peak of Mount Fuji
Stretching to the Rising Sun
Neither Father Amazon nor Mother Mississippi who, without favor,
Nurture all creatures in the depths and on the shores
These are not the only wonders of the world
When we come to it
We, this people, on this minuscule and kithless globe
Who reach daily for the bomb, the blade and the dagger
Yet who petition in the dark for tokens of peace
We, this people on this mote of matter
In whose mouths abide cankerous words
Which challenge our very existence
Yet out of those same mouths
Come songs of such exquisite sweetness
That the heart falters in its labor
And the body is quieted into awe
We, this people, on this small and drifting planet
Whose hands can strike with such abandon
That in a twinkling, life is sapped from the living
Yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness
That the haughty neck is happy to bow
And the proud back is glad to bend
Out of such chaos, of such contradiction
We learn that we are neither devils nor divines
When we come to it
We, this people, on this wayward, floating body
Created on this earth, of this earth
Have the power to fashion for this earth
A climate where every man and every woman
Can live freely without sanctimonious piety
Without crippling fear
When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible
We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world
That is when, and only when
We come to it.