Me Eat Cookie!

"Me know. Me have problem. Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies."

THE GOOD BATCH. aka THE BEST BATCH.

Instructions:

Dude. Go to Smorgasburg. Walk your Saturday afternoon hangover ass over to the stand that looks like this: 

Order that GOODWICH. Get ready for a life-changing ice cream cookie sandwich. 

The vendor will put your rock-solid frozen ice cream cookie sandwich from a cardboard box on the table. Don't ask questions. Hold that baby up to the sunlight for 60 seconds. 

Let the pretty Venezuelan lady you're with take a bite first, because chivalry is not dead...

BUT THEN SNATCH IT AND TAKE A BITE FOOL.

And holy sh*t. This is possibly the top-rated ice cream cookie sandwich in the Me Eat Cookie blogroll. The cookie itself is perfect, salted with the sea, made of oats which keeps the frozen cookie chewy (ingenius), and full of chunks of chocolate which aren't nearly as frozen through as the little semi-sweet morsels you often crunch on. 

And the ice cream is indeed plain vanilla, but is drizzled with a layer of fudge...warms up nicely to the ideal temperature, and really doesn't make a mess. COOKIE BLISS.

YOU MUST GET ONE (in fact, they're huge, so you should split it with a friend) 

How happy can a bunch of drunk twenty-somethings be at the sight of a pre-packaged cookie? 

Well...very. 

Here's Noelle proving my point. Pepperidge Farm strawberry thumbprint cookies are damn good.

...and watch this moment happen: 

whoa all the way in, okay. 

wait for it 

  oh god 

Madison Square Eats is a really delicious time if you find your way past the invisible force field at 23rd Street. 

Momofuku, Macaron Parlour, and Melt all have stands that are open from morning to evening, if you've got your vices prioritized. 

MELT Bourbon ice cream between butterscotch cookies* (pls correct 'cuz I can't really remember) 

and the remains of the company's Classic: 

There's nothing about a daily pastry that qualifies as too good to be true. But when it sucks, boy does it suck hard. 

Cookie Month day 2 brought me to the Union Square Greenmarket, and I took no heed in my mother discarding the plastic-wrapped, potentially poisonous baked goods that old ladies handed out in lieu of candy on Halloween. 

THIS COOKIE WAS FUCKING AWFUL. 

Dry, spongey, almost plastic-like in its flavor and consistency. INCONSISTENCY.  I've had cookies that are more like cake or more like brownies, crispy, crunchy, and everything in between. I'm appalled and frankly surprised that this was the way I'd experience this new, forsaken construction of something sacred. DESECRATION. 

Granted, this cookie was a day old by the time I came around to photographing it, analyzing the texture, then being utterly upset with the sensation it impinged on my virgin tastebuds. 

But I feel betrayed. How can something that looks so pleasant offer such a bad experience? If something is this unhealthy for you, shouldn't it (in the least, in the very least) balance out the good-to-evil ratio?

Whatever. Here's a cross-section:

Honestly, I can't keep up. 

But on day 1 of National Cookie Month I was captured by the paparazzi stuffing my face full of Momofuku cornflake-chocolatechip-marshmallow, and I'm sure glad not a damn thing's changed. 

Here's Winslow pictured with a cookie we split during a West Village outing to Doughboy Bake Shop. I believe this was the peanut butter cookie? Or was it ginger? Ah, MOLASSES. I think they're kind of famed for this molasses cookie, so I highly recommend nabbing one when they're fresh. They also have great coffee. 

BRIGHT-ening things up: 

Ah, to consume a cookie after a long day's shopping excursion in SoHo with a bunch of girls looking for the perfect pair of sunshades... After nearly killing myself while we explored the options of protection from the ultra-violet rays that will eventually burn through the remaining layer of ozone and deep fry our brains in hot, tasty radiation oil, we decided to lighten the mood at Ground Support. Super cool cafe, and they serve their sandwiches for half price after 5pm, like a happy hour for the broke college kid and/or the gluttonous. 

BUT THEM COOKIES. 

Mei Mey and I opted to split a triple-chocolate cookie (which I basically ate on my own)...

...while Eleni finished the raspberry filled lemon cookie-thing faster than I could take a photo. 

And for the food porny close-up: