Formerly Marie

There is,,, a lobster. On the way

There is a lobster somewhere in the facility but we don’t know where

This is not a joke btw I was supposed to receive and acclimate a lobster today but I waited around in the lobby for an hour before finding out that the Lobster Deliverer went around back and gave the lobster to the aquarist and he went out on a diving trip without telling anyone where he put the lobster. There is literally a lobster here somewhere and we can’t find it. Lobster location unknown.

Update he put it in one of the lobster traps tied to the pier. Which is fine, that’s where it was gonna go anyway until we set up its display, but I would’ve preferred to acclimate it before plopping it into the ocean. But the hooligan has been contained. There will be no surprise lobster attacks today.

Oh my god happy anniversary to that time we misplaced Neptune!!!!

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

“if you love this character then you must make him happy in your fics, right?” wrong. the horror. suffering. internal hemorrhage. hospital. immediately

On the small soggy wet archipelago that makes up the modern day united kingdom, sunny days are a rare phenomenon. As such, the peoples of england cherish each and every one, even going so far as to write songs about them in their local music. With sunlight in such high demand, to block it deliberately is nigh unthinkable, hence their cultural confusion at the invention of the parasol.

every time i remember that photo of the little inuk girl with her puppy i engage in inconsolable hysterics

Comfy even

in another life robert sugden spent his childhood getting wrapped in bandages, covered in plasters and thermometers stuck in his mouth by his little brother

Here's the post that started it all! Chapter 1 of By Proxy, or Whatever Happened to Baby John? is now up. Thank you @medievalmiffy for the inspiration!

what you have to understand is that no one could ever truly love spongebob because hes broken on the inside hes not even a person hes an empty shell so no squidward doesnt love spongebob patrick doesnt love spongebob spongebobs mother doenst even love him they cant because hes tainted and inhuman

One could say that SpongeBob’s prime definition is sponge. He’s absorbent of other people; he isn’t a person himself but rather the amalgamation of others. He only truly exists when at the service of others, as a son, a friend, a neighbor, a pet owner and a fry cook. When these relationships are removed and we observe SpongeBob on his own, there’s nothing there. What people think they love about SpongeBob is actually their own reflection in the form of his absorption of their own personas; Narcissus. SpongeBob is unlovable because his true self is stagnation and ultimately hollow.

Hey…. Hey… Characters covered in blood, okay? You remember characters covered in blood?? You used to love characters covered in blood

no your honor I absolutely can make my case like an adult. first things first, fuck the defendant and fuck his family too. secondly,