Too Quick For Groan Or Sigh

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

making a new playlist titled “they don’t make music like this anymore” and it’s just telephone by lady gaga twenty times

sorry to interrupt your scrolling but, i hope life gets better for you.

once i get taken out back and shot i'll be fine

you know what 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿 just in case

there's art inside me trying to get out

the thing about the met gala is that everyone remembers the 2018 heavenly bodies one and everyone is still trying to chase that high

sound off in the tags please what are everyone's favourite songs about divorce / lost love / Old Friends / empty houses / grief / death / other such miseries thank you

people who don’t watch sports are seriously missing out. You could all be so much angrier

they’re foreclosing on my mind palace

doing petplay and gunplay at the same time im a horse with a broken leg and you have to just shoot me