Sir mech

Sudden fatigue rises in my body. Was I always this influenceable? I wonder if I want what you are insinuating. I don’t often try to resist, but I am now here, at this festival. It was hard to get tickets. These few short days have too much to do. I see the beautifully lit castle on the distant hill. I look at the spotlights of the artist alley and the merch shop next to the lasers of the music stage in the distance. I think of the show-and-tell that I hoped to attend in an hour, and of the friends that I only see for these few days each year.

I feel the slow, lazy desire that wants to do nothing more than follow your words. It is a conflict, but not a competition. It is day 1 of a multi-day festival, there is more to come, and I am tired. I feel that now.

“Perhaps” I send back. My pace slows. I think of the artists in the alley, and how fast they sell out. I wait for your next message as I pass hordes of people who don’t know what is battling in my mind.

"Your tent is calling you"

Fudge. That, I feel. The sounds around me dim. I feel my knees buckling, and I stop walking. I’m suddenly very conscious of the layout of the terrain, the distance to my tent in a straight line, and the shortest path to walk there.

"Let yourself feel the pull"

I feel the connection to my tent grow stronger. I have been fantasizing about being hypnotized here. I had been thinking about it each time I passed through the canvas flaps.

"You worked hard today, you have earned your rest"

I close my eyes, and steady myself. I take a breath, and let it out slowly. I feel a warmth, and a tiredness, mixed with pure excitement. I want this, no doubt. I turn in the direction of my tent, and I start walking again. I can"t resist this, and I don’t want to resist this.

I walk past the twinkling festoon lights, and let them guide me down, as you tell me. I barely see the artworks on display. The blue circus tent with the entertainment for the night has no appeal to me. I don’t notice the people walking past me more than I need to avoid bumping into them.

Your words mix seamlessly with the rhythm of my walking. I feel the pull of my tent, as I get closer and closer. I stay on the path, as that requires less effort. I’m so focused. Your words engulf me, as I feel less and less as myself, and more and more like a vessel for your spirit.

I stop before my tent, and zip it open. There is no hesitation left. I enter and feel ready for you. I grab my headphones and sit down. I feel the ground beneath the thin mattress, and I feel thoughtless, mindless. You tell me to undress, and in the intimate small blackout tent, I lie down, as naturally as breathing. The headphones let me only focus only on you.

You tell me to drop, and it feels like a trapdoor opens beneath me. All residual tension is pulled away, and I didn’t even know I was carrying so much. I feel so much more free now.

I can only say yes, feel yes, think yes. Only yes, and gratitude. I want this so much. Thinking is hard. But focusing on you is easy. The world has shrunk to this tent and your words. It feels so good; my eyes flutter. The amount of power you have over me should frighten me. But it doesn’t. I want more, and I trust you. You encourage me to be a better, more ambitious person outside these thin walls, and at the same time be a soft, relaxed, open, and deep for you.

You say something. The trapdoor opens again, and I fall even deeper. I don’t think, I just notice.

I notice my hand wandering. It grazes my lips, and they start to tingle. Your words keep coming, and my hand drifts lower. I forget everything except this moment. I notice nothing but you and me. It feels so good.

None of the thoughts in my head are mine. I can only say yes. I agree. I obey. I feel. I feel your hand on my chin. I cannot look away. My head, my mind, my whole body tingles. A finger entering me, and my eyes cross. All resistance flows away. My hips move. I want to moan, but your hand on my chin - I can’t. I surrendered everything to you.

I must be a sight to behold. There are only tingles. Only waves Only yes. Only you. Only this.

Yes.

---

It is time to float up. You help me come back. The headphones fall away, I don’t really know how. I feel awake, but I don’t want to move. I don’t really want to think right now. I feel… amazing. I tell you as much.

“Perhaps it is time to let yourself sink into that deep sleep, now. Sleeping, recovering, restoring.”

It would be nice to be empty headed and sleepy wouldn't it?

Thoughtless...

Glass eyes...

Drooling...

Drifting into dreamland

Dreaming good things

Dreams of hypnosis

So good to relax

Breathing deep

Rest

A worry free toy

Eyes closed now

Drifting away

A good sleepy toy

Set your alarm, then set phone aside...good job