meal fit for a king

[Today, I believe that the libertarian position I took in these articles sprang from a painful family history that I was not ready or able to face. I grew up being terrorized by a violent father whose sexuality was an ongoing threat. I can't remember a single day when one of my siblings or I was not the target of my father's verbal and physical rage. After years of dealing with disturbing dreams and body memories, I am facing the possibility that I was sexually abused, probably as a preverbal child. My mother either froze me out, demonized me as a sexually precocious and uniquely sinful child, made use of me as a surrogate parent for her other children, or raised me to the special status of her best friend and platonic lover, depending on whether she was fighting with my father or not, and how active her religious addiction was. I can recognize this now as emotional incest. This history of child abuse, combined with my unconscious need to repress my own victimization, led me to normalize child/adult sex. The fantasy that such experiences could be loving or healthy protected me from feeling unloved, weak or violated.

“Ultimately, [Dean and Sam] are pathologically dishonest with each other because John Winchester was pathalogically elusive to them. They learned that the truth is this dangerous thing, and that you shouldn’t speak it. He even taught them to keep secrets from each other for strategic purposes.”