Fantasyandshit

“What you got Reid?”

The man in question looks up from where his head had rested between his hands, “Hotch I got. I got nothing. This is- this makes no sense. Not even to me.” Spencer had never been so confused in his entire career, hell in his entire life. They had people dropping like flies all across this small town in no where Ohio but each MO was different, there was no pattern and the deaths were unlike any they’d seen before. The only constant was the victims being middle aged men who they had learned all had some history of abuse or infidelity.

Rossi walks into the room and right up to the board, hand pressed over his mouth as he scans the little bit of information they do have. “Ok so our first victim, Howard Hayes, he walks into his office bathroom in the middle of the day and never leaves. No one follows him in and when the autopsy report comes in he has two dozen razor blades in his stomach. Then two days later John drops dead whilst cheating on his wife with his mistress, something about poison we can’t identify. Then we have Gary who is seemingly impaled with a rebar pole. The list goes on but none of the killings make any sense at all. Feels like we’re dealing with something supernatural.”

“Like a monster? I think you’ve finally gone crazy old man.” Derek laughs as he teases the older agent.

“I’m telling you Morgan, they’re out there.”

“Sure. Sure.”

———

“It’s a textbook witch case. The only thing is finding the bitch and figuring out why she’s killing a bunch of dudes before we put a bullet between her eyes.”

“Damn Dean, that was a bit morbid even for you.” The man shrugs from his spot in the front seat at your words. You’d found your way to some tiny town in the middle of Ohio, the case was clearly a witch, normally no problem for the three of you. But of course this time the FBI had already been called in. You thank Bobby for the last minute call or else you would’ve ended up trying to convince the FBI you were one of their own and not just the feds from what you heard but some behavioral analysis unit. Profilers, the short year you spent studying criminal psychology told you enough to know you’d be busted before you even left your car if you weren’t careful here.

You pull into the dingy motel just as the sun sets, stepping out you stretch with a groan. “I’ll go get the room keys.” You nod at Sam as he moves to the front office space.

“So how careful you think we gotta be miss ‘I was gonna be one of them’?” You roll your eyes at your older brothers sass.

“Careful. It’s not a joke De. These guys will see right through any bullshit we spill, and then they’ll end up thinking we’re the killers, they’ll look into us and inevitably find the years of credit card fraud and identity theft and we’ll be in prison for life. No more hunting for us.” You look him up and down, “you’d definitely be somebody’s prison bitch.”

He scoffs, hand over his chest offended, “Would not!”

“Would too! You’re a total pretty boy.”

“She’s right Dean.”

“Shut up Sammy.” The two of you chuckle as Dean sulks on your walk to your room.

After dropping your bags off you collapse on a bed, a nasty mix of exhaustion and hunger filling your bones. “I saw a bar down the street as we were driving in. Could be a good place to try and get some info, plus Daddy needs a beer and a burger.”

“Ew. Never call yourself that again. I actually just barfed in my mouth.”

“It’s what the lady’s call me.”

“Oh my god shut up shut up shut up! You’re nasty! I’m going to shower and change before we leave.”

You ignore your brothers whines as you move to the bathroom with a change of clothes, slamming the door behind you with a sigh.

Once you’re ready the three of you walk to the car and start down the road to the old bar you passed on your way in. When you park you notice the parking lot is full, there’s a dim light that spills from the bar with the faint sound of music and drunk people laughing way too loud.

When you step inside it’s about what you expect, seventy percent old men standing around with beer bottles in their hands, thirty percent being younger people trying way too hard for a town like this. Your eyes settle on a booth in the back, two older men nurse glasses of whiskey, there’s two women, one blonde, she’s younger, perky but clearly her mind is somewhere else, and a raven haired women who’s closer in age to one of the older men, the tall burly one who’s face is set in what you can imagine is a permanent frown. There’s two more men as well, both younger, ones tall and muscular, his tan skin glows in the light as he laughs with too white teeth, he drinks from a bottle of beer. The other is the one who catches your eye though, you hate to admit he’s attractive in a sort of cute puppy dog way, he’s tall too but lanky, he has muscle, but it’s lean, stretched over long limbs, he has longer hair that he keeps tucking behind his ear. There’s a bottle in his hand but you can tell he hasn’t had a sip of it, probably got it because somebody else ordered for the table.

You continue to scan the man, his face is set in thought, clearly something is disturbing him because even as the rest of the group laughs he stares at his hands in concentration. You look over the whole group once again when the realization hits you, your eyes go wide and you turn quickly to your bothers, tapping furiously on Deans arm.

“Yeah yeah I know, while you were too busy ogling some dude I ordered you a bear and a barbecue burger with cheese fries just like you always get.”

“No De. That group over there,” you point vaguely to the table, “that’s the FBI.”

His brows furrow and Sam’s interest is peaked as he tries to discreetly look over at the table, “How do you know?” You look to your younger brother and really don’t want to go into the long analytic spiel that just played through your head.

“I just know ok. I don’t want to get into all the behavior analysis bull crap right now, just be careful about what you say when they can hear and don’t interact with them. And don’t be suspicious.” The boys nod, though Dean still looks slightly unconvinced.

You look back over, trying to be discreet. That plan is ruined when you meet a pair of brown eyes looking back at you, his gaze is curious, studying you the way you’ve studied him from as soon as you walked in. The other man next to him noticed, looking from him to you and then bumping his shoulder against him, laughing as he says something to him, pushing him to get up even as he declines.

“Here you go miss.” You look to the waiter as he drops your beer, burger, and fries in front of you. As the greasy smell hits you, you remember how hungry you are, beef jerky and a bag of sour patch kids was not enough food for the day. You turn your attention from the agent and too your food, digging in, eating in a -probably very unattractive- manner as you wash your great burger down with your not so great beer, quickly asking for another one.

Sam shakes his head, Dean gives you a smile, says something along the lines of “that’s my girl.” As he orders his second bottle of the night, turning to scope the bar for girls he can go flirt with. You feel the agents eyes burning into the back of your head, and you try your best to ignore them.

"I'm gonna go speak with the local wild life." Code for 'I'm gonna go scam a bunch of creepy old dudes in pool who have been staring at my ass all night while i try to get info about our witch out of them.'

"I think I'm gonna join you." Dean code for 'I'm gonna pretend I'm being helpful while flirting with hot chicks.'

You roll your eyes as Dean winks, moving purposefully to a pretty brunette across the bar. Sam does the same, muttering something about holding down the fort here as you jump off your stool and move to the pool table in the corner.

There's already a group of men, ranging from probably mid thirties to late fifty's, standing around the table, laughing with one another before you get closer. The group each let out various hoots and whistles, cat calling you as you move to join them. "Mind if I join you boys?" You have no interest in any of the creeps, you're easily ten years younger than the youngest one there, plus none of them are your type to say the least. But you do have a job to do which means 'putting on the charm'.

"You sure you want to pretty girl? We play a serious game, can't go easy on ya'."

You giggle, the sound is high and fake but it does the trick as you curl your hair around a finger. "Aw really? Can't take it easy on little old me?" You move closer, leaning across the pool table, "Guess one of you boys will just have to help me out then." You pout your lips, keeping your gagging to yourself as the men look you over, eyes obviously catching on your breasts.

"I think I can do that for you sweetheart." You look to the source of the voice, its a younger gentleman, probably in his early thirties. He's clearly cocky in himself, probably the 'heart throb of the town', which is easy when its you vs. grandpa over there. You'll give him the benefit of the doubt, he's attractive by societal standards, a shar jawline covered in a light stubble, light brown eyes and matching hair, muscle fills out his T-shirt, and he's decently tall. But again, not your type, your mind briefly flashes to the agent across the room before you snuff the thoughts out.

"Ahaha, ok." You pitch your voice up, giving your best 'clueless doe eyes' and move to touch his arm.

You spend the first two rounds playing stupid, laughing way too loud at everything the men say, missing shots, letting the man from earlier drape himself over you to 'help'. But it's during these two rounds you learn that all your vic's had been abusers, cheaters, or both, along with a bit more probably useless info on their personal lives. By the time the third round rolls around you decide you're tired of the act, bored and now with the information you needed.

"Need help sweetcheeks?"

"Haha, no I want to try it this time!" The men chuckle again but nod as you take your stance, lining up your cue perfectly with the ball and then 'pow'.

Four lined balls fall into the wholes one after another, perfect. You turn back around, painting the familiar clueless look across your face, "Was that good?"

Soon enough you’ve won another few rounds, wracking up money from betting pools. Now you're off to the side, waxing the end of your pool cue when someone steps up beside you, "You played them like a fiddle." You look up, met with two familiar faces, the two younger FBI agents. The one who spoke was the darker skinned man, he chuckles, looking you up and down.

You swallow down your fear, putting an innocent smile on your face. Play it cool, they don’t have to know anything, and you won’t give it to them.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Hah! I just watched you fool those men into buying you two rounds of beer and giving up like fifty bucks. You played 'em good girl."

You laugh despite yourself, not the fake sound from earlier, but real as you move to set all the balls, "Am I really that obvious?"

"I tell you what, play a game with my friend here, you win, ill double whatever those bozo's gave you and I'll cover your tab while we're here. Sound fair?"

"And what do you get if he wins?"

He shrugs, "Nothin' it's exposure therapy."

"You got a deal then." You shake his hand with a small chuckle.

"I'm Derek, this is Spencer." The other man waves, still silent where he stands.

"Yn." You step to the end of the table, gesturing to the long haired man who gets pushed up by his friend, "let's get this game going then shall we?"

You let Spencer break, one ball rolls into a slot, guess that means you're solids this time. "So pretty boy, you ever played pool before?"

His head shoots up as you set up your next play. "Well not exactly but I know the logistics of the game you see the momentum from..." He talks for several more minutes about the functions of the game, Derek laughs from where he watches the two of you as he takes a turn, back to you, then his turn again, then yours.

"You some kind of genius?"

"Well I have an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187 so yes I believe that is the category I-" He pauses, "Yes I am."

You nod, "Cool." Great. Now you not only have a team of profilers in your way but also a literal genius.

A couple more minutes pass and it’s back to your turn, leaving the game with one ball each before the eight ball. Its now that the rest of the team of agents make their way to the table, called over by Derek as 'Reid meets his match'. You assume that's the mans last name but refocus on the game in front of you as four more people join your space. Shit, that's a lot of FBI eyes on you all at once. Despite your worry you don’t let anything slip, it’s only more suspicious to be nervous.

"Hope you don't mid if we watch uh.." The blonde woman trails off as she speaks to you.

"Yn, and no I don't mind."

"Alright Yn, well I'm JJ."

You nod as the group introduces themselves one by one before focusing back on the man you're playing against. He took his turn, leaving you with one ball, he just has to get the eight ball to win. You shoot, landing your ball in its spot, it knocks the eight ball slightly, you pretend to wince but really it's exactly where you need it, you just need Mr. Reid here to miss...Seemingly high hopes judging by how the game has gone so far.

God must be on your side though as the white ball rolls just past its mark, you keep your face neutral even as you cheer on the inside. "Damn Spence, the only other thing I've seen you miss is the time on your physical test."

"Don't be mean Derek." The man chuckles and you focus, steadying yourself as you set up to win.

A deep breath, you line everything up, and then, 'knock' the ball rolls, knocking into the black ball you had already set up and...

"Sounds like you owe me a hundred bucks and a beer." You smile smugly at Derek, holding your hand out triumphantly as he nods with a laugh. The rest of the group disperses with various half hearted ‘congratulations’ or ‘sorry Spencer’s, leaving you and the man of the hour.

"Hey uh, good game."

"Thanks, you too. Think that's the closest match I've had in a while." You smile at the man, hands falling into your back pockets. Derek comes around with your beer and you accept it as you continue talking to Spencer, conversation flowing easily between the two of you. You find out the genius also had a knack for foreign films as you gush over some Russian black and white film you’d watched last week.

You don’t tell him the only reason you got into them was because you could only afford free pirated sites when you were younger, he doesn’t need to know that. You also find a shared love for chess and books meant to make you think deeply, for once you don’t want to stop talking to a man. Probably because he’s the only you’ve met able to hold intelligent conversation and not immediately ask for some ass.

"Yn! Let's go!" You turn to find Dean waving for you, stood by the door with Sam, you nod, shouting a loud 'ok!' before turning back to Spencer and now Derek.

"Well, see you around then agents." You salute before turning to walk away.

"Wait how'd you? We never mentioned?"

You turn your head, a soft smile gracing your lips, "Oh come on, it's obvious. But don't worry," Your voice drops to a loud whisper, "Your secret's safe with me pretty boy." You leave it at that, walking to join your brothers, laughing to yourself at their faces.

———

Derek and Spencer stand still for several moments after you leave, mouths agape. Spencer’s brain is scrambled, for once there isn’t facts or statistics he can look at, it’s as if his IQ dropped just looking and speaking to you.

It was clear you were smart, smarter than you let on, from scamming the group of men before them, to somehow beating Spencer at a game, to knowing who they were despite being careful to not make it ‘obvious’ as you had said. There was something else too, something he couldn’t quite figure out why it was bugging him, maybe it was just because you were pretty, confident in a way he wished he could be as you moved with grace in a clearly familiar environment.

He doesn’t even realize him and Derek are back with the others at first, until he heard Morgan’s voice. “Guys that chick that smoked Reid? She knew we were agents somehow. It was totally out of a movie “See you around agents”. Just said it was obvious but man- she’s something.”

Hotch’s brow furrows, “That’s odd. We may need to put her on our suspect list, look into her, she could know who we are because she did her research, could be trying to insert herself into the case in a non-threatening way in order to seem innocent.”

Spencer shakes his head, “No I don’t think she’s our unsub.”

“Why not? I mean Spence she knew we were agents, don’t you think it’s odd how she kept looking at us, scanning us almost?” JJ’s voice rings with concern but Spencer is adamant in his doubt.

“No I think. I think she’s just smart.” The group looks confused as he continues, “she doesn’t sound like she’s anywhere from around here, she’s too young to fit our profile, and the way she scammed those men, it wasn’t something our unsub would likely even be able to do. I think she’s just- smart. Calculated sure, but I don’t think she had any ill intent.”

“I think Reid just has a crush on the pretty lady.” Derek bumps shoulders with the boy, despite the teasing, Spencer’s explanation did seem to ease the groups worry.

———

You collapse on the bed closest to the door as soon as you get into the motel room, groaning and stretching out like a cat before digging into your pocket to take out the wad of cash you’d gotten throughout the night.

“How many scams earned you that?” Sam looks at you suspiciously, eyebrow raised in accusation.

You roll your eyes softly at his implications, “only one. The rest I won fair and square.”

“Oh right. With those big scary FBI agents you told us to avoid?” Dean chimes in from across the room and if you had something in throwing distance you would’ve chucked it straight at his big head.

“It was different, they knew what I was doing, the kid I played is a genius apparently, still better than him at pool though.” You smile smugly thinking back on your glorious win. “Besides, I was careful.”

“Uh huh as in totally crushing on that little guy?” You again roll your eyes, only this time you muster up the energy to peel your boot off, throwing it towards your older brother, you don’t look to see where it landed, but get your satisfaction in the form of a loud ‘oof.’ And “Dammit!” That makes you and Sam chuckle.

—————

“Shit! Dean!” The man coughs violently, a wet, wheezing noise that terrifies you as he gurgles. Sam says something as you both lower your brother to the floor but you can’t process any of it, hands pressed against your head as you try to think.

“Ok. Think who did we bring the case up with? Who knew what was?” You mumble to yourself, pacing back and forth as you wrack your memories searching for faces.

“FBI! I need an ambo to our location now, young male in respiratory distress!”

Everything freezes as the room is flooded with the agents from the bar, the blonde woman moves to Dean and you panic. It’s all too much, too loud, you need to think, you can’t think.

“No! No back off get away from him!” The group is startled away from your seemingly random out burst.

“Yn. Yn honey you remember us? You knew we were the FBI. We just want to help ok? I think you could help us.” Spencers eye search your own, a had reaching out in an attempt to comfort you much like you would a small child.

You shake your head violently, “No he doesn’t- you don’t understand what’s happening right now. No hospital is going to save him and I need to think so I need you all to shut the hell up.”

“Explain it to me then.” You meet his gaze again, your eyes flit to Sam who simply nods lightly.

“You’re going to think I’m insane, but I just need you to try and listen. We- my brothers and I we hunt monsters.”

“Monsters?” Spencer looks at JJ in a way that says ‘shut up’ as her question cuts through the air like a knife.

“Like I said. Crazy. Everything you’ve been told are stories, nightmares kids think up, well they’re real. Ok they are all real and we hunt them. You’ve all probably been going crazy because all you have is a victimology right now. Right? No MO, no clear explanation how this is happening, deaths that make no sense? That’s because it’s a witch.”

“A what?”

“A witch. A witch who we’ve encountered because she hexed my brother.” You rack your memory again, and this time a memory sticks out and you pause, eyes going wide, “I know who it is.” You move before anyone can think, rushing for the door, “Sam watch Dean. Agents I promise I will explain better and you can throw me in a psych ward for the rest of my life for all I care but right now I need to save my brother.”

“Ma’am I can’t let you just leave-“

“Emily. Stop, let her go. Reid go with her.”

“Rossi what are you doing?”

“I’ll explain later, just let em go.”

They nod and allow you to step through, you don’t care to look back and see the agent behind you, bee lining for baby.

————

-3 hours earlier-

You step into the small shop in the middle of Main Street, most of these witch shops were bull crap, run by some scam artist lady who thought witchcraft was burning a stick of random herbs and lighting candles before bed. This shop looked just like any other one of those, not your usual stop. However after speaking to the ‘best friend’ of one of your victims wives, you found out she’d been cheating with the lady’s husband. Messed up I know, but she also told you that, his wife had mentioned something about this store a few days before he passed.

“Hi! How can I help you!”

“Oh nothing we’re just looking around.” The lady nods and you all continue searching, pretending to be shopping.

“So you uh, you heard about all the deaths around here?”

The woman flinches for just a fraction of a second, practically imperceptible and easily mistaken for fear and the mention of murder in such a small town.

“Yeah, terrible it happened to them.”

You decide to dig just a bit deeper, “yeah but you know, you think they deserved it? Just a little?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, weren’t they all cheating or beating their wives?”

Her face hardens, “that doesn’t excuse murder.”

“No no you’re right. My apologies.”

“Is someone hurting you maam?” Her voice rings again against a few moments later.

“Oh…” you want to see how this goes so you make the split second decision to lie, “uhm. No no I’m fine.” You fidget, look around nervously, really play the whole thing up, she nods slowly, unconvinced and then her eyes flick to Dean for just a moment.

You look around for another minute before leaving, “I didn’t notice anything suspicious, didn’t get a read on anything.”

You nod at Sam’s words, “Yeah but she, she seemed off when I brought up the murders. I won’t say she’s definitely our gal but she knows something, she’s definitely worth looking into.”

———

-present-

“So you’re telling me, it’s all real? Ghosts and werewolves and demons? They’re all real?”

“Yes Dr. they are, and you can do a whole psych eval and lock me up after this if you please but right now I need to focus on saving my brother.”

He nods, clearing his throat awkwardly, “Right, and how exactly does one stop a witch hex?”

“A special bullet.”

“Hold on your gonna kill her?”

“It’s her or everyone in this town. You can’t detain witches, can’t lock monsters in prison, the only way to save them is to kill them. Trust me, we’ve come across good ones of every species, but when they get like this, there’s no way to get out of it without some blood.”

Spencer looks skeptical and you really can’t blame him, you just told him monster were real and that you’re gonna go shoot a lady whilst speeding down a highway. But it doesn’t matter, whatever happens to you after this doesn’t matter as long as you save Dean.

You pull into the parking lot fast, tires skidding across the asphalt and you barely put the car in park before jumping out. Your gun is already loaded so you quickly move to the front door of the building, followed closely by a nervous Spencer.

You burst through the locked door, immediately moving to the curtain you’d notice leading to a back room. When you get inside you spot the witch on the ground, chanting incantations for yet another spell to murder yet another person.

“Stop what you’re doing lady! I know what you are!”

Her eyes fly open, she spots you, then the agent and quickly stands. Before you know what’s happening she’s already said a spell, and you’re launched into a wall, gun dropping from your hand with a yelp.

“I knew it. Winchesters, you always find a way to ruin everything.”

“You were killing people!” Your voice is strained as you gasp for air against an invisible force.

“It’s like you said. They deserve it.” You let out another gasp as your airways are constricted further.

“Let her go!”

“No Agent don’t!”

“And who are you?” She turns to him, “one of those stupid FBI agents who couldn’t figure it out? You team up with murderers now I see.”

“Agh!” A sickening cracking noise fills the room as your ribs are squeezed, her attention pulls back to you.

‘Bang!’

The spell drops and you fall to the floor, gasping for breath. It looks like Spencer shot her in the leg, but you know that won’t keep her down long so you dive for your gun just as said man is slammed against a book case with a thud.

“Stop it right now.” She whips to you, your gun now raised.

“Oh come one, you just saw that doesn’t work on me.” She’s right, she’s standing up already, likely some kind of regeneration or healing spell of some sort.

You smirk, staring her down, “No. His didn’t. But mine will.” You press the trigger, the bullet shoots straight to her chest and she lets out a strangled scream as the smell of burning flesh fills the air and she drops to the ground, along with Spencer as the spell is lifted. You crouch over her, putting your fingers to her neck and checking for a pulse, letting out a sigh when you find none.

You rip your phone from your pocket, quickly dialing Sam, “How is he?”

“He’s fine. You got her?”

“Yep, she’s out, I’ll uh- we’ll get back over there.”

“Hey. Don’t worry, found out this uh Rossi guy- well this isn’t his first run in with the supernatural, we’re gonna be alright.”

You let out a puffing laugh, thanking whatever God there was before hanging up. You turn to Spencer, he’s standing up now, bruised but otherwise fine.

“My bullet didn’t do anything.”

You laugh, “glad that’s what caught your attention. Not the invisible force shoving you across the room or breaking my ribs.” He laughs with you, moving closer now.

“You ok? Is it really broken, could I look?”

Your eyebrows pinch at his worry, “It’s just a broken rib, I’ve had worse.” He’s still hovering though, hands shaking a little and you can tell he needs this so you nod, moving to lift your shirt up. “Sure, take a look.”

He presses around your ribs, pausing when you wince, “yeah this one’s definitely broken, and I think you’ve got a few fractures.”

You nod, lowering your shirt, “Yeah sounds about right, they’ll heal fine soon enough.” You start walking towards the exit, just needing to get out of this damn room.

“You say that like someone with experience.”

“Because i am, this and much worse.” You slide into the drivers side of Baby, starting up the engine as Spencer joins you.

“It must be dangerous, hunting these things no one knows about.”

“It is. It’s a lonely life, and usually not a long one. But it’s worth it, I get to be like a hero at night you know? Plus I got my brothers, they’re all I need.”

“You do t ever see yourself settling down? Living a normal life?”

You pause at that, looking down for a moment, “I mean, sometimes I do, but if I don’t hunt these things who will? Plus I don’t know if anyone could out up with the stuff we’ve seen.”

He nods at that, his gaze full of understanding, “I think we’re similar in that way.”

You put the car in park and look at him, really look at him, “you’re a really cool guy Spencer. I think I could settle down with you.”

He looks shocked, face going pink at your words, “You’re pretty cool too.”

You chuckle, realizing you’d both started leaning in, “oh fuck it.”

You pull him in, lips pressing against his with a sigh.

“Oh come on! Not in my car man!”

Deans voice interrupts your moment, you flip him off before separating, stepping out of the car. “Oh come on you’ve fucked lord knows how many chicks in the back of that thing.” You walk up to him, “Plus, you gonna thank me for saving your life?”

You both laugh and he pulls you into a hug, he presses against your injured ribs which causes you to wince.

“What? What happened?” He pulls away, hands resting on your shoulder as he scans you over.

“Nothing, a broken rib or two.”

He nods, sighing in relief as he pulls fully away. “So uh, definite not crushing on the little guy.” Dean wiggles his eyebrows, looking between you and said ‘little guy’.

“Shut up.” Your fist connects with his arm, the- Grown ass man- pouts his lips, rubbing the spot you had hit.

You look around the group of agents, all in varying degrees of shock at the entire scenario that just unfolded. “So. What all happened here after I left?”

One of the older gentleman steps forward, a kind smile falling on his lips as he reaches for your hand in greeting, “I’m agent Rossi, and I’ve been doing this a long time, so I’ve seen a few things, knew the supernatural existed. As soon as I met you I knew what you were, I’m just sorry it came to what it did.”

You can tell his apology is sincere and you take it with a small bow of your head, “Thank you sir. Just, what happens from here?”

“Well, from what I heard, agent Reid followed a lead, it turned violent, and the unsub was shot by an agent in self defense.” The man winks and you can’t help the sigh of relief you let out.

For the next few minutes you and your brothers take time to explain everything that goes on in the night under everyone’s nose, what you all do. It ends with you exchanging contact info with Agent Hotchner in case something like this happens again, which it likely will.

Before the team leaves Spencer pulls you aside, “You know, there’s something I can’t quite place with you, some of the things you do, you say, it’s like you’re the profiler.”

You chuckle fondly before replying, “I was studying criminal psychology for a little while at UPen before I got roped back into this whole family business. I wanted to be a profiler actually.”

“That makes a lot of sense, why didn’t you ever go back?”

You shrug, “I guess I just knew I wouldn’t ever be able to fully leave this life behind so I might as well embrace it. Plus the skills are pretty helpful.”

You both laugh, taking in the moment while it lasts- which isn’t long- as Hotch calls for Spencer to get moving so they can fly back home.

He calls back before turning to you, “can I have your phone?”

“Uh sure?”

He takes the device, adding his contact information into your phone quickly, “Uh call me if you’re ever in Virginia or honestly I’d like to talk whenever. Maybe we’ll end up in the same place again. But uh yeah- text me.” He awkwardly waves before running off to join his team and you can’t help but laugh at his awkwardness.

You walk back to meet your brothers at Baby and you can already feel the comments bubbling up in your brothers throats, “Not a single word. Got it?”

They simultaneously throw their hands in the air in mock innocence before you all climb into the car and head on the road again.

—————

“What you got Reid?”

The man in question looks up from where his head had rested between his hands, “Hotch I got. I got nothing. This is- this makes no sense. Not even to me.” Spencer had never been so confused in his entire career, he’ll in his entire life. They had people dropping like flies all across this small town in no where Ohio but each MO was different, there was no pattern and the deaths were unlike any they’d seen before. The only constant was the victims being middle aged men who they had learned all had some history of abuse or infidelity.

Rossi walks into the room and right up to the board, hand pressed over his mouth as he scans the little bit of information they do have. “Ok so our first victim, Howard Hayes, he walks into his office bathroom in the middle of the day and never leaves. No one follows him in and when the autopsy report comes in he has two dozen razor blades in his stomach. Then two days later John drops dead whilst cheating on his wife with his mistress, something about poison we can’t identify. Then we have Gary who is seemingly impaled with a rebar pole. The list goes on but none of the killings make any sense at all.”

———

“It’s a textbook witch case. The only thing is finding the bitch and figuring out why she’s killing a bunch of dudes before we put a bullet between her eyes.”

“Damn Dean, that was a bit morbid even for you.” The man shrugs from his spot in the front seat at your words. You’d found your way to some tiny town in the middle of Ohio, the case was clearly a witch, normally no problem for the three of you. But of course this time the FBI had already been called in. You thank Bobby for the last minute call or else you would’ve ended up trying to convince the FBI you were one of their own and not just the feds from what you heard but some behavioral analysis unit. Profilers, the short year you spent studying criminal psychology told you enough to know you’d be busted before you even left your car if you weren’t careful here.

You pull into the dingy motel just as the sun sets, stepping out you stretch with a groan. “I’ll go get the room keys.” You nod at Sam as he moves to the front office space.

“So how careful you think we gotta be miss ‘I was gonna be one of them’?” You roll your eyes at your older brothers sass.

“Careful. It’s not a joke De. These guys will see right through any bullshit we spill, and then they’ll end up thinking we’re the killers, they’ll look into us and inevitably find the years of credit card fraud and identity theft and we’ll be in prison for life. No more hunting for us.” You look him up and down, “you’d definitely be somebody’s prison bitch.”

He scoffs, hand over his chest offended, “Would not!”

“Would too! You’re a total pretty boy.”

“She’s right Dean.”

“Shut up Sammy.” The two of you chuckle as Dean sulks on your walk to your room.

After dropping your bags off you collapse on a bed, a nasty mix of exhaustion and hunger filling your bones. “I saw a bar down the street as we were driving in. Could be a good place to try and get some info, plus Daddy needs a beer and a burger.”

“Ew. Never call yourself that again. I actually just barfed in my mouth.”

“It’s what the lady’s call me.”

“Oh my god shut up shut up shut up! You’re nasty! I’m going to shower and change before we leave.”

You ignore your brothers whines as you move to the bathroom with a change of clothes, slamming the door behind you with a sigh.

Once you’re ready the three of you walk to the car and start down the road to the old bar you passed on your way in. When you park you notice the parking lot is full, there’s a dim light that spills from the bar with the faint sound of music and drunk people laughing way too loud.

When you step inside it’s about what you expect, seventy percent old men standing around with beer bottles in their hands, thirty percent being younger people trying way too hard for a town like this. Your eyes settle on a booth in the back, two older men nurse glasses of whiskey, there’s two women, one blonde, she’s younger, perky but clearly her mind is somewhere else, and a raven haired women who’s closer in age to one of the older men, the tall burly one who’s face is set in what you can imagine is a permanent frown. There’s two more men as well, both younger, ones tall and muscular, his tan skin glows in the light as he laughs with too white teeth, he drinks from a bottle of beer. The other is the one who catches your eye though, you hate to admit he’s attractive in a sort of cute puppy dog way, he’s tall too but lanky, he has muscle, but it’s lean, stretched over long limbs, he has longer hair that he keeps tucking behind his ear. There’s a bottle in his hand but you can tell he hasn’t had a sip of it, probably got it because somebody else ordered for the table.

You continue to scan the man, his face is set in thought, clearly something is disturbing him because even as the rest of the group laughs he stares at his hands in concentration. You look over the whole group once again when the realization hits you, your eyes go wide and you turn quickly to your bothers, tapping furiously on Deans arm.

“Yeah yeah I know, while you were too busy ogling some dude I ordered you a bear and a barbecue burger with cheese fries just like you always get.”

“No De. That group over there,” you point vaguely to the table, “that’s the FBI.”

His brows furrow and Sam’s interest is peaked as he tries to discreetly look over at the table, “How do you know?” You look to your younger brother and really don’t want to go into the long analytic spiel that just played through your head.

“I just know ok. I don’t want to get into all the behavior analysis bull crap right now, just be careful about what you say when they can hear and don’t interact with them. And don’t be suspicious.” The boys nod, though Dean still looks slightly unconvinced.

You look back over, trying to be discreet. That plan is ruined when you meet a pair of brown eyes looking back at you, his gaze is curious, studying you the way you’ve studied him from as soon as you walked in. The other man next to him noticed, looking from him to you and then bumping his shoulder against him, laughing as he says something to him, pushing him to get up even as he declines.

“Here you go miss.” You look to the waiter as he drops your beer, burger, and fries in front of you. As the greasy smell hits you, you remember how hungry you are, beef jerky and a bag of sour patch kids was not enough food for the day. You turn your attention from the agent and too your food, digging in, eating in a -probably very unattractive- manner as you wash your great burger down with your not so great beer, quickly asking for another one.

Sam shakes his head, Dean gives you a smile, says something along the lines of “that’s my girl.” As he orders his second bottle of the night, turning to scopes the bar for girls he can go flirt with. You feel the agents eyes burning into the back of your head, and you try your best to ignore them.

……

“You wanna tell me what happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“I don’t know if you think I’m stupid and you’re trying to insult me but I know it wasn’t nothing. I mean you walk off and then all of a sudden the wind goes crazy and I look to the center of it and there you are clearly distraught and then before I can even get to you you’re running off. So no, respectfully it wasn’t ‘nothing.’ If you don’t wanna talk about it I get it but you aren’t gonna lie to me- terribly- might I add.”

Me and Lee were sat at a small restaurant towards the edge of the ring, coming here after I’d calmed down enough to not seem entirely out of my mind.

I set my cup of tea down, fingers lacing together and pulling at each other as I think. Then, before I even notice him moving, one of Lee’s hands is across the table, pulling one of mine away from the other and resting his own gently on top of it. His hand is warm in a way only a firebenders seems to be, the presence should throw me off but it’s somehow comforting, grounding me to the moment much like my meditation used to.

My cheeks heat up as I look back up to him only to see his already rosy, flushed up to the ears, despite that he makes no move to pull away just yet, instead he seems to be searching my eyes for any discomfort, only satisfied when he finds none.

“Uhm. You promise you won’t do any weird ‘honor restoring hunting’ thing if I tell you?”

His head tilts not unlike a puppies, “huh?”

I let out a deep sigh, “I saw my brother.”

His eyes widen for a moment before he settles, “Of course he’s here.” It’s his turn to sigh now, “which only means he’s brought trouble with him not far behind.”

“You mean your sister.”

He runs his free hand through his hair and I try not to focus on the fact his fingers had slowly tightened around mine, and mine had grabbed him back without either of us really realizing. “Yeah I mean my sister.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“Lay low. Im tired of constantly fighting for something I’ll never truly have. Plus knowing you, I don’t think I could kill your brother now.”

“Not funny.”

“Right. Right. Sorry.”

“Ok! I have two bowls of our famous noodles, extra spicy for the young man and no meat for the lady!” Our moment is interrupted by the loud waiter as he sets two steaming bowls in front of us, our hands jump apart and I try to shove down the part of me that misses the contact. “Is there anything else I can get this beautiful young couple tonight?” He practically sings as his hands clap together.

“Oh we’re not- he’s not my-“

“Oh no we aren’t- it’s not like that.”

Lee and I stammer at the same time, my face burns as the waiter simply nods, a knowing smile growing on his face, “right. Yes of course. Well enjoy your meals you two!”

Awkward silence falls over the table as we both start eating. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until the smell of broth floated in the air around me. “Mmm so good.” The soup warms my belly as I -probably very unattractively- slurp down my food.

“Nothing here is spicy.”

“Huh?”

Zuko sighs, eyes down cast as he sets his chop sticks down. “Nothing here is spicy. No matter how much extra I ask for, it’s not the same as home.”

I look into his bowl, his broth noticeably different, “Mind if I try? We never really had spicy stuff in the air temples.”

“Wait really? I couldn’t live if I didn’t have spicy food. The fire nation has the best fire cracker buns, I’ll have to take you to try them sometime.”

I pause at his confession, he didn’t just say I’d have to try them, no he said he’d have to take me, and for some reason that idea sends butterflies to my stomach. I don’t think I would mind sticking around him, traveling around with him. The thoughts hit me like a train that I choose to ignore, instead opting to take a spoonful of the boys broth.

I blow softly on the spoon, bringing it to my mouth. My mouth that is no on fire. The burn isn’t unpleasant per Se, there’s a deep flavor of the peppers used, in a way the feeling reminds me of the boy, it burns but when you look deeper it’s delicious, warm in a comforting sort of way.

But my mouth is still on fire. I let out a breath, reaching for any liquid I can get my hands on as I slurp down my tea.

“Hahaha. You should see your face!” Lee laughs, a joyful sound I hadn’t heard yet, even if it’s at my expense I can’t help but smile at it. “If you think this is spicy you’ll be in for a surprise in the fire nation.”

There he goes again, for a man who says he doesn’t wish to return home he keeps talking as if we’ll end up there together.

“Ok so not fair. I’ve been like trapped in an iceberg for a hundred years and I was never allowed to leave the air temple so of course I’m more sensitive to it.” My mouth sets into a pout as I glare at the boy.

“You’re right. You’re right. Sorry, you just should’ve seen how you looked.” He puckers his lips and widens his eyes in mockery and i throw a piece of onion from my own bowl at him.

———

The sky is dark as we walk slowly through the lantern lit streets of the town, Lee holds a bag with some food for Mushi along with majority of the groceries we gathered today, he would only let me cary a few light bags despite my insistence on taking more.

“It really is pretty here. It’s so weird seeing everything from down here, I was so used to the skies.”

“Yeah, it really is huh?” I don’t see that the boys eyes aren’t on the sky like mine, instead his head is turned to me.

“I should take you flying some day. It’s so… freeing.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah, it’s like no one can catch me, I can escape up there.”

We come to sit on the edge of a fountain, “I always used to fly to escape everything when I lived in the temple. I always had to take care of Aang, and I never really fit in with the other kids or the monks. They never really liked me.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t agree with everything they did. I was always ‘violent’, angry I guess. I mean I can’t disagree with them, I guess I am.”

“I don’t think you’re angry.” I look over to the boy as he speaks, “I think you were treated unfairly, I think no one was willing to listen to you.” His gaze meets mine, “I think you were in pain and ignored. That will make anyone ‘angry’.”

“You’re quite philosophical for a 16 year old boy.” I don’t notice that I’m crying until the tears are already a steady stream down my face, my hand goes to wipe my face as I sniffle. I look back up, trying to stop my emotion like I always have but it just won’t work. A warm hand grabs my face, pulling it to look towards Lee before he wipes my face softly, holding me there in a comforting grip.

“Let’s get home yeah?”

“Yeah.” My voice comes out shaky still but we move to stand, what I don’t expect is Lee’s hand moving from my face to grab mine, giving it a squeeze before me start walking.

———

“Ah you’re finally home! Good day I hope!”

“Yes uncle, we put all the ingredients for the shop downstairs. This is for you.” He passes the bag over to his uncle, and I can’t help but stare. He’s so soft with the man, and I don’t understand how he could be seen as any angrier than me. Maybe we’re more alike than either of us wants to admit.

“I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

“Goodnight Yn.” I move to hug the older man as he opens his arms, as I step into his embrace I sigh, the two men had shown me more comfort in the few weeks I’d been with them than I think anyone has my entire 116 years of life.

“I think I’m going to sleep too. Goodnight uncle.”

We both move to the room we share, stepping into the dark space and into our beds. The silence now is no longer awkward or filled with tension, instead just a steady, comforting presence. “Goodnight Yn.”

“Night Zuko.”

—————

Tag list:

While I was stuck figuring out what to do with all my newfound information, The old man- Iroh had apparently instructed his nephew to get me a change of clothes and a head band so I wouldn’t be noticed, I appreciated it, it’s best to stay on the down low until I find my brother. According to Zuko- or Lee for now, he had been hunting the avatar in order to return home until him and his uncle were banished, instead deciding to live a quiet life as refugees here in the earth kingdom. His crazy sister, Azula is now also after my brother and his band of friends. Leave it to Aang to somehow get both the royal siblings of the fire nation on your back yet still evade them.

However as dawn roles around two days after I woke up in Ba Sing Se,I pull myself from my small bed with a groan, echoed by Lee as he pushes himself up. Mushi had trusted us to open up the tea shop alone this morning so we quickly set out to do so. I sweep the floors, and wipe tables, cleaning up the front of the store while Lee prepares all the tea. We’re done shortly before the store even opens, and just as I’m moving to take a seat to rest for a moment, Lee comes from the back with a kettle of tea and a few cups, nodding his head to the table I’m by as we both take a seat.

“So, what do you think you’re gonna do about your brother?”

His question catches me off guard, I think for a moment, given his history who knows what he could be planning. But as I look up to meet his eyes, I can only see genuine curiosity, no bad intent and I choose to trust that. “Well I don’t really know honestly.I know I need to find him and part of me wants to help him, that’s what I need to do, no matter what he’s doing- but especially if he’s saving the world or whatever- but also, I don’t think I can look at him the same, I still.” I sigh, tears brimming in my eyes, “It’s his fault they’re all dead. I could’ve- we could’ve saved them. But he had to throw a tantrum so we couldn’t be there. I don’t know if that makes me the bad guy but I just can’t- I can’t do it.”

“I don’t think that makes you the villain. I think it makes you human.” I look up again, I hadn’t been able to meet his gaze again when I was talking but he looks sincere, understanding filling his gaze in a way that tells me he knows exactly what this feels like somehow.

“Thanks Zuko.” I look back towards the doors, pushing myself up, “well, seems it’s just about time to open up.” The boy nods, joining me as we move to open the large wooden doors for our waiting customers just as Mushi makes his way down the stairs.

———

“Why don’t you two go out to the market? Here’s a list of ingredients I need, and feel free to grab something for dinner while you’re out.” I nod, taking the stack of money from the man’s hand as Lee takes the list from the other, with a quick goodbye we set out to the night market towards the center of the “town” or level I suppose.

Me and the boy make small talk as we move through the streets, keeping the mood light even though there’s a clear weight hanging in the air neither of us wish to address. “Uhm ok, I can grab the mangos over there if you wanna get those spices here?” I point to the direction of a fruit stand as Lee looks over the herbs and spices on the table in front of us with a nod.

I bring a mango to my nose, smelling it before pressing lightly against the skin, doing it a few more times with different mangos until I have three in my little bag at my side. I pay the vendor before looking around for Lee in the now packed square.

Instead of the familiar pair of unique eyes, I’m met with ones that are now foreign but also all too familiar. The boy notices me just as I lock eyes with him, skidding to a stop where he stands, sounds of surprise leaving the three kids around him as another boy knocks into his back.

“Yn?” My heart pounds in my chest as he slowly steps forward, gaze a mix of shock, joy, and fear. “How I mean- you- you’re alive?”

“Aang?” The girls voice is calming as she looks between us, clearly unaware of the situation at hand.

“Wait Yn? You mean your sister that’s supposed to be dead? Of course she’s alive I mean that makes sooo much sense!” The boy from earlier throws his hands in the air with a humph.

Before much longer Aang runs towards me, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. I can’t do it. I can’t do this. Not now. Not- the girl seems to sense my fear as my breathing picks up, the wind around us no longer a light breeze, though luckily the towns people seem to think it’s simply a change in weather. My little brother only pulls back once he notices my hands still in the air, hovering as I try to comprehend what’s happening, try to get a rational thought to leave my brain.

“Yn?”

That voice again. Suddenly I’m no longer in Ba Sing Se, but instead chasing that voice through a stormy sky.

“Aang get back here!”

“No! Just leave me alone! Ugh I hate you. Go away.”

My glider shifts as I hit a patch of turbulence, “trust me if I could I would just leave you out here to wallow in your self pity! The monks need you Aang and I’m not taking the fall again when you don’t come back with me! I’m done taking the blame for all your crap!”

Rain pelts down on my skin as I continue chasing the small boy through the air, further and further away from home and deeper and deeper into this storm.

“Aang-“ I’m cut off by my own scream as I bolt of lightning strikes me hard, I shoot back, body flying as I slip from consciousness, the world going black.

I subconsciously touch the jagged scar at my side through my robes. “It’s your fault.”

“What?”

I step back, tears falling down my cheeks like the rain that night, “They’re all dead because of you. I should’ve been there. We should’ve been there. If you hadn’t-“

“Yn?” The young avatars eyes fill with tears as his voice wobbles looking at my shaking form.”

“If I hadn’t had to chase you. Then at least.” A shaky breath, “at least I wouldn’t be alone.”

“Yn wait!” I shake my head, turning around and darting into the busy streets, no longer worried about finding Lee. I just need out.

Out. I need out now.

There’s too many people and I can’t, I can’t breathe. It hurts. everything hurts and I can’t breathe.

I crash into a hard chest, barely registering I hit someone before I’m scrambling to get away as hands wrap around me. “No. No let me go!”

“Yn it’s me. It’s me Lee you need to calm down. You need to breathe for me.” I half register being pulled into a more secluded alleyway, struggling slightly in the persons hold. “It’s Zuko. I need you to breathe for me Yn.”

I look up, meeting familiar eyes and a sob tears itself from my chest as I bury my face in his, shaking as I cry. I feel myself lower to the ground, body being rocked softly back and forth, a soothing hand resting against my head as my breath begins to find me again, sobs shifting to small whimpers.

“There you go. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

—————

Sorry guys I know this one is shorter and it took me a lot longer to get out than I wanted but here we go, I hope you enjoy!

Tag list-

The group sits in a tense silence, a quiet that hasn’t settled over them since their teen years as Appa soars through the air. You sit at the back of the saddle, legs folded, body hunched over itself like you’re trying to make yourself impossibly smaller as you pick at the barely healing wounds on your hands. Katara and Aang are at the front of the Bison, steering and speaking in hushed whispers no one can make out. Sokka sits beside Toph, resting against the side of the saddle, and Zuko, oh Zuko, you’ve barely gotten yourself to glance up to figure out where he is, he’s laid on his back near the front of the saddle, chest bare to accommodate the wraps around his side. The wound may be closed but the wind whipping around you would surely irritate the delicate skin-you know it’s bothering the skin of your hands-, and infection is still possible at this stage.

“We’re gonna stop here for the night!” Aang calls from the front, it’s now you realize the sky is already growing dark as the sun sets behind the mountains. You look down, a small town shortly ahead as Appa begins his decent.

As you land, you plop softly to the ground, stepping back into the shadows of the animal, keeping distance between you and your friends- who you don’t notice looking at you in worry, particularly a certain fire lord.-

“Ok, got us all checked in! Uhm they only had three rooms, but they should all have two beds so who’s going with who?” Sokka bounds back from the small hostel, keys in hand.

“I call Sokka! I am not stepping between that happy relationship,” she motions somewhere towards Katara and Aang, the airbenders hand resting softly on the woman’s back, “or…whatever is going on here. You guys can work that out tonight.” You go rigid as Sokka shrugs in agreement, pressing the key into your frozen hands.

The group moves into the small hostel, walking up creaking steps to their respective rooms. You look down, 13, up at the sign on the door, yep it’s your room. You don’t dare look back at Zuko despite only being able to focus on the sound of his breathing behind you, he shuffles awkwardly as you push the door open and step into the room.

It’s humble, a table set on the side, a large fireplace is lit on the far wall, a door to a small bathroom is open on the side opposite the window, and lastly, in the middle of the room is the single, queen sized bed. Your heart stutters, of course, this is just your luck, knowing Sokka he probably knew one of the rooms only had one bed and instead of giving it to oh idk, the happy couple who would end up sharing a bed anyway, he gave it to you and your…Zuko.

“I uhm, I can take the floor.” The first words you’ve spoken to the man since you mutilated his body. You scratch the back of your neck, head bowed, unable to meet his gaze.

“Yn.” The pure desperation in his voice is what makes you look up to him, finally meeting his gaze. As your eyes meet, he relaxes for the first time, eyes softening. “Can we talk. Please.” He moves forward cautiously, hands reaching out before retracting as your whole body flinched away. He takes your silence as a yes and continues speaking. “What did I do wrong?” His voice breaks as he questions you and it feels like the world is stopping. What did he do wrong? Him? He’s worried about what he did? Why isn’t he screaming at you, cursing you, telling you that you’ll never be welcome in his life, his home again, that the wedding set for two months from now is off-

A violent, shivering sob escapes you before you can stop it, fat tears roll down your face as your body curls inward, gasping for breath as you finally break down. Zuko scrambles to follow you to the floor, more instinct than anything as he pulls your body into his, cradling you into his chest. You selfishly bury yourself into him, sucking in the last bit of warmth you’ll ever get from him as he rocks you much like one would a scared child.

“Tell me how I can fix this. Fix us. Please I can’t take this agony any longer.”

You pause at the soft tone of his voice, the feeling of wet tears hits your head and you look up to see a trail of tears flowing down his heated cheeks. It takes every bit of self restraint to not wipe the salty droplets from his skin, to kiss the scar on the side of his face until he finally calms like you have many times before.

The scar, you gave him another scar, hurt him in the same way his father did, you’re no better than that man.

The thought hits you hard, hard enough that you jump away, scrambling to escape the hold of the fire lord, another sob wracking your body. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.im sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.

“Love? Love what’s going on, why are you? What are you apologizing for?”

Another shuddering cry, “I hurt you. I scarred you the same way that man did.” You spit the words out, unwilling to call Ozai his father out loud. “I’m a monster, I hurt you in a way no one ever should be.”

A moment, you take a few breaths, collecting the next words in your mouth, “I swore I would never use my fire to harm you, to harm those I loved and I burned the love of my life.”

Zuko opens his mouth, closing it when you continue, “How can you look at me? You were begging for the pain to stop, you, I’ve never heard sounds like that before, I had to feel your flesh fusing, smell the burning skin against my hands as you wailed and prayed for the pain to go away. I did that to you.”

You finally close your mouth, any other words dying in your throat as you stare at your lap.

“You saved me.” His voice is somehow steady and your head whips up to look at him, “You endured something I don’t think anyone else ever could, I can’t imagine your pain. But you are no monster, you are an angel, you saved my life. Without you I would no longer be here, my life would have joined that forest had you not done what you did. I am forever in debt to you and I love you. I love you my beautiful bride.”

You hadn’t noticed him slowly crawling to you until he was gathering you back into his arms, shushing you as you weakly attempted to push him back. “I love you.”

“How?” The look in your eyes breaks him and he presses a slow kiss inbetween your brows.

“Because, I have always loved you, I will continue to love you till the end of time. and you saved my life. You did not scar me the way my father did, instead you gave me a reminder of your bravery.” Your cries quiet, silent tears still falling as you nuzzle impossibly closer to your lover.

“I love you Zuko.”

He smiles softly, things aren’t going to be perfectly fixed right away, but this is a step in the direction of showing you he still trusts you, that not all scars are evil. You sit in that silence for a few more minutes, the air warm and soft before he speaks again. “Can we please get your hands fixed up baby? Those can’t feel good.”

“No Katara.”

He sighs but nods, “no Katara.”

He scoops you up, bringing you to the bathroom and settling you on the sink counter, he leaves for a moment before returning with a few ointments and a roll of bandages. He sets the materials next to you, taking your hands in his before he begins his work, at every wince he shushes you, softly massaging his fingers into your hands. Once he’s done, your hands wrapped fully in the thick bandages, he brings them to his lips, pressing soft kisses across them.

“Do you want to help me.” You look timidly at him as he slowly unwraps his own bandages. The thought of seeing what you’ve done terrifies you, but you also want to help him however you can. Swallowing your fear, you nod and slowly reach to take his bandages- albeit clumsily as you struggle to close your fingers with the bandage wrapped around your palms.

If your pace bothers the lord he doesn’t say anything, only helping you slowly peel the material away. Once the last of the bandages fall, his scar is fully revealed, the skin around it red and irritated. You stare for a moment before your fingers tentatively move to press the dark skin softly, looking for any signs of pain but only met with an encouraging nod. You let your fingers lightly pass over the area, featherlight and barely there before you lean over, pressing the softest kiss right to the center of it.

Once the fire bender is re bandaged, he pulls you up, holding you against his bare skin, the scratchy material of bandages rubbing against your flesh. Hands grip your face carefully, pulling your lips to meet his, you melt into the kiss, lips moving against his.

———

You settle beside each other in the bed, relaxing for the first time in what felt like forever, you lay against Zuko’s chest, cuddled close as the heat of his body comforts you. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

With those final words, you drift into sleep, calm in the arms of your lover, and you know, time will heal, and maybe not all scars have to be formed by evil, but may serve as a reminder of a moment of life.

—————

Ok! I hope this one lived to expectations and you all enjoyed!

@clairealeehelsing

Smoke filled the air, trees set ablaze as the forest floor lit with the colors of the flames, you could hear distant shouts of your friends, fading as they moved further and further away, the sound of your own breaths and pounding heartbeat taking over instead. With a grunt you send the last of the Ozai sympathizers into a tree, he tumbles with a loud grunt before silence.

Quiet fills the air, only the cracking of flames left to accompany you as you move, trying to find any of your friends. You’d been attacked by a group who still believed in Ozai’s ways, and before any of you had realized it, their plan to separate you all had worked and the forest had been set ablaze. Coughing at the smoke you begin to move where it thins out slightly, calling out for your friends and squinting against the sting in your eyes.

A garbled gasp pulls your attention to a tree, and nothing could have prepared you for the gruesome sight in front of you.

Zuko lays slumped against the trunk of a large tree, hand pressed tightly to his side where dark red gushes to the forest floor through his fingers.

“Zuko!” You’re feet move faster than your mind and in seconds you’re by the fire lords side. Your hands shake so violently they’re practically vibrating as you desperately press the hot flesh of the man’s wounds, met with a sharp sound of pain. “I know, I know. I-I’m sorry I don’t- what do I-“

“I’m- I’m-“ another shaky breath. You moved to try and tear a piece of clothing but your fingers don’t seem to want to work as you fumble, eyes searching frantically for anything, for Katara, for- who knows anymore just something. “Yn. Look at me.” His voice is quiet, tired in a way that alarms you, “I love you.”

That line breaks you more than the red beginning to pool beneath the two of you and a wretched, garbled noise breaks from your lips. “Don’t. Don’t you dare say it like that. We’re gonna- Katara’s gonna get here and she’ll heal you and- or I’ll. I’ll figure something out.” The words blend into a sob as you dig your hands impossibly deeper into his flesh, desperately trying to ignore his gasps and small whimpers. Looking back to his eyes you watch his eyelids begin to droop, blinking as he fights for consciousness. You look back to the flames, far enough now they no longer concern you, instead you get an idea.

The thought is sick, you nearly wretch just picturing it, wracking your brain for any other option, when nothing comes up, and you fully realize no one is going to save you in time, you do what you must. “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” You cry as you begin to call that familiar flame to your hands, what normally felt like a rush of energy now a slow, impending doom that washed over you as it flowed to its destination.

“Wha-“ he’s cut off by his own scream, the sound rattling the forest, something you don’t just hear, but feel as it vibrates deep in your bones, accompanied by the hiss of skin melting and fusing. The smell of burning flesh, unlike anything you’ve smelt before, the kind of smell that will haunt you forever, meets your nose, eyes watering as you try desperately to keep your mind steady.

Wails and cries ring through the air, Zuko’s body goes rigid and convulses on the ground, gasping and sucking for air, body unable to figure out what to do, his nails dig into the skin of your forearm, clawing so hard red blooms at them he surface, something you don’t even feel as your hands press into his wound. It takes all your strength to keep going, if you stop now the wound won’t be fully closed, infection could set in, or worse,before that he could bleed out on the mossy floor. You’re eyes lock on the sky, unable to look at your love as his noises see to die to desperate whines and moans.

And after several long minutes, finally

Finally it’s done, your searing hands pull from his skin, smoke falling from the flesh of both your bodies, one final hiss slithering through the air.

You steal yourself enough to finally glance down, as Zuko gives one last violent shake before settling into the ground. You watch his chest rise and fall for several minutes, breath shaky as you pant beside him.

“I found them! Over here guys!” Sokka’s voice breaks through the tense air as he runs towards the wicked scene. “Are you guys o-oh. Oh no.” His words die on his tongue as he takes in the scene, the fire lord rests in a pool of red, you’re kneeled beside him, caked in the blood of the man you love.

“He’s alive.” The rest of the group comes to a halt in front of you, “you should get him back to camp so Katara can finish healing him. I need to- I need to make sure none of them got away. Patrol the area, make sure it’s safe.” Your eyes are empty as you lift your body from the ground, feeling heavier than you remember.

“You should come back too, you don’t look so goo-“

“I’m fine. Just get him back to camp safe. I’ll join you guys later.” Katara goes to argue but stops as Aang rests his hand on her arm. She looks up, nodding as she meets his gaze. Aang steps quickly to the now unconscious Zuko, carefully taking him into his arms jumping onto Appa’s back and slowly laying him down on the soft fur. You survey the man once more, eyes catching on the slow, shaky, rise and fall of his chest before you turn away, stalking slowly into the forest.

———

By the time you reach the camp night has fallen, stars decorate the sky and everyone lays asleep in their sleeping bags near the fire. You creep through the camp, grabbing a small rag and making your way towards the river to wash yourself, careful to not disturb any of the sleeping figures.

The rag scrapes against the delicate skin of your palms as your mind wanders, flashes of the blood pooling on the ground, of you sitting their useless, of zuko’s echoing wails and sobs, the feeling of his nails wracking against your skin, the smell of his flesh sizzling beneath your fingers. You shudder, scrubbing harder, your hands now raw and red, bleeding into the river but you can’t bring yourself to stop because no matter how hard you scrub, how deeply you scratch and peel, he’s still on you, his blood, his searing skin, it won’t leave. So you keep scrubbing, silent sobs escaping you without your knowledge as you loose yourself in nothingness.

The sound of steps slowly approaching causes you to become alert, body tugged but still faced away from the shore as Katara’s voice cuts through the night air. “Why don’t you come back to camp hon? I can patch you up.” You don’t spare Katara a glance where she stands on the shore, you can’t tell if she’s referring to your hands or the various gashes and bruises covering your body, whatever it is you can’t bring yourself to care as you keep scrubbing away at your palms.

“I’m fine. Just a few scratches. Go back to bed, I’ll be up in a minute.” She doesn’t take this as the invitation to leave that you had intended, instead she begins to speak again, her words making you flinch softly.

“Zuko’s ok. You saved him, he’s fine now, tired and sore, but he’s alive because of you.” You pause your movements briefly before they pick up again, mind flashing briefly to the haunting scene that got you here.

“He’s never going to look at me the same way again. I- I hurt him. I- I gave him a scar no one should have to bear. You weren’t there you didn’t hear the way he screamed, didn’t see the way he clawed at me, as he begged for the pain to stop. I did that to him. He’s going to hate me and I am going to deserve it. I’m a monster.”

Silence stretches for only a moment before Katara speaks again, “He asked for you. When he woke up.” A shuddering gasp leaves you as you sob into the river, shaking your head. He wouldn’t have, she’s just trying to make you feel better, how could he possibly still want you around after what you did.

The girl sighs as you simply stand there, back to her, eyes still fixated on a spot in the water as she begins to walk back to the camp. You hear her talk to someone in hushed whispers briefly before they lay back down to sleep.

After a few more minutes you dry off, ringing the rag out and hanging it to dry on a branch and make your way back to camp. You slowly unroll your sleeping bag, pulling it away from the fire, the though of the familiar heat nearly makes you throw up, almost able to smell the burning of flesh where you stand. You lay down, back facing the group as you curl in on yourself, shivering but falling slowly into a restless sleep.

———

You wake to the sound of voices and people shuffling around, slowly rising to see everyone awake, eating breakfast before you get moving again. Sokka is the first to notice you awake, “hey we made you a bowl!” His voice is forced, attempting to sound cheery but it’s pitched too high, too tight to be real. You nod, carefully taking the hot bowl into your hands, fighting the wince that leaves you as the material meets the raw wounds across your palms. Again, you sit further from the group, eyes blank as you shuffle your food around in your bowl, staring holes into the oatmeal.

“Why don’t you let me patch your hands up really quick. I’m sure that can’t feel good with how raw they are.” Katara’s voice is soft, as if trying to sooth a child, several pairs of eyes burning into your hands but you refuse to look up.

“I’m fine.”

“That looks pretty nasty too.” You finally look up to find Sokka pointing at the bruise blooming on your cheek, a deep purple against the skin swelling, forcing your eye to squint shut.

“I said I’m fine.”

The group looks between one another- minus Toph- worriedly, particularly Zuko who doesn’t know what to do, what’s wrong, how to fix it. What did he do? You won’t even look at him.

—————

Ok that’s it for now but uh. Should I do a part two???

“I can’t do anything. The fact is, each of you is so amazing and so special and I’m, not. I’m just the guy in the group who’s regular.”

I pause where I stand, stepping back into the shadow of the building. Is that really what Sokka thought of himself? My heart shatters at the confession, wondering just how much I had missed. Sokka was everything light and bright, he was strong and braver than anyone I had ever known, just because he wasn’t a bender didn’t mean he wasn’t special or amazing, in fact he was probably more so purely because he didn’t have those abilities.

———

Later in the evening I join Sokka near the fire, away from the rest of the group all sound asleep. The soft padding of my footsteps alerts him of my arrival as his head raises, eyes meeting mine, they still shine like the stars, the flames reflecting off of his irises, but the light inside him is dulled, heavy with thought. I tilt my head to the spot next to him in question and with a nod from him I take a seat.

We sit like that for a moment, soaking in the peaceful silence of the night, a quiet it feels like we haven’t had in a long time, not since we left the South Pole at least.

“You know. I think you’re more special than any of those guys.” His head whips around, eyes wide, eyebrows shot up in question. His mouth opens but before he can say anything I speak again. “I know it’s hard, with all this change and chaos, to believe in yourself or see you the way we do. The way I do. But you’re the most amazing guy I’ve ever met.”

My mind wanders back to home, to my memories of the brave boy in front of me.

…

“Hah! Got ya’!” Sokka huffs as he plummets back, a snowball stuck to his face.

“Not fair Yn!” He takes off running, chasing me as we giggle. Katara laughs from the side, hiding behind a pile of snow to launch a sneak attack on her brother.

But before much more can happen, the three of us all pause, faces turning to stair at the sky as what resembles black snow begins to fall. The men of the tribe begin to call out to one another as the shadow of a ship comes into view.

The fire nation.

“Katara go get mom!” Sokka is already moving, little feet padding through the snow as he takes my hand, leading me back to the rest of our tribe. “Yn you need to hide!” His little hands try to shoo me as he moves to help the older men who prepare for the attack.

“No! I’m not leaving you, come on!” I try to pull the stubborn child with me, hoping my mom is still safe in our home.

“I’m going to help Yn. I have to. But you have to hide, you can’t get hurt.” No matter how little he is, how tiny his voice sounds against the raging panic, I know he’s too stubborn to convince and too brave to do anything else. I pull him into a hug, sharp, quick, I feel his heart beat against mine, too fast, too loud. I pull away, eyes filling with tears that drip down my tiny face as I step back and run to my mom.

—

I crash to the front of the crowd, spear raised high as I walk to stand beside Sokka. That ship. That ship was back again with the black snow and this time I wasn’t a helpless child, I wasn’t going to run again. The boy glances sideways at me, probably about to argue but snapping his mouth closed at the look on my face. “Hand over the Avatar and we won’t hurt any of you.”

The Prince of the fire nation speaks as if it’s the simplest thing in the world, arguing back and forth with Sokka. I begin to think of a way out of this, of a way to get everyone out safely, but I’m cut off by the sound of Sokka charging, boomerang clattering off the princes helmet as he falls to the ground.

Soldiers move from either side of us, aiming at Sokka and I act before I can think as the boy is kicked back, using my spear as if it were a sort of staff, blocking the fire that comes towards us.

…

“I’ve always known how brave you are and well- I just thought you did too. Because you’re Sokka! You don’t need to be able to bend to save us. You’ve gotten us out of more sticky situations than I can count, you think fast and act faster. You are so smart, and you light up every room, you keep us alive in the ways that count. I think that makes you more amazing than any of those guys back there.”

I finish quietly, eyes shooting down to my fidgeting hands as my face goes red.

“You really think I’m brave?”

Sokka’s voice is soft, softer than usual, and when I look up his eyes are wet and glassy.

“I know you are, braver and stronger and more special and amazing than anyone else.”

We sit with that for all of two seconds before I feel his lips on mine, soft, joined by wet tears as they fall down his face . We pull apart and my hand moves to wipe at his cheeks. Just as i start to pull my hand away, his shoots up to grab me, pressing his face further into my palm and keeping it there.

“Your mom would be proud of you.”

Another quiet huff of a sob escapes the boy and my heart breaks just a little more as I move to pull him into me, cradling his head as it nestles into my neck.

“You really think so?”

“I know it.” I hush him, slowly raking my fingers through his hair and letting my lips touch his forehead softly. I look up to the sky, eyes finding the moon shimmering in the night, “and I know she would be too.” Part of me feels guilty at the thought of Yue, but something shines a little brighter after I speak, and I think it’s her way of thanking me for taking care of the boy we both came to love. “And I’m proud of you too.”

With a final sniffle the boy rises, wiping his face furiously. “I think I love you.” My heart stutters at his confession, and my eyes go wide staring at him.

“I think I love you too.” We kiss for the second time that night, soft, slow, hesitant.

“Aristos Achaion!”

“Aristos Achaion!”

Cheers filled the beach as another, and final, ship docked onto the island. Cheers that meant only one thing, prince Achilles was here, the golden boy blessed by his goddess mother. I of course couldn’t deny my curiosity, I hadn’t yet met the charming prince of Pthia, but I chose to keep my face neutral, remaining rooted where I stood beside Odysseus.

As the sea of people parted, two boys came ashore, Achilles, who even without his mothers tricks of pulling his god side out, shone brighter than anyone else, his golden hair flowing in the light breeze, tan skin stretched over muscle unlike those on Ajax, no his were not bulky or rough, they were long and smooth, carved-literally- from the gods.

Of course he was followed by Patroclus, his closest confidant and friend…from what I’d heard-and seen even in those short moments- even hidden lover.

I hadn’t realized my eyes had unfocused until Odysseus moved forward just a step, looking I realized he was ready to get involved in a showdown between our young prince and Agamemnon, he stops only when Achilles speaks, earning cheers from the crowd of soldiers but a steely glare and tight jaw from the king. It is at this moment I notice the familiar feeling of eyes on me, only to turn and meet Patroclus’ studying gaze. I don’t mind, all have heard of me, but a woman in war is unsightly, unheard of, near dishonorable if not for my god-given prophecy.

However he did not look with malice, merely curiosity, such as that of a small child, a gave a polite nod, the corner of my mouth crooking up slightly. His cheeks heated red and he let his head fall quickly after, I nearly laugh at another show of his almost childlike behavior.

I compose myself quickly however, as everyone begins to disperse to finish setting up camp for the night before dinner.

———

I sit between Odysseus and Achilles at dinner, Odysseus doesn’t mind sitting with a woman even as she prepares for war, nor has he ever seemed to look at me as the others do, but rather as another general and leader, and Achilles seems to be as curious about me as I am him.

“Prince Achilles. I don’t believe I ever got the chance to properly introduce myself. I am Yn Princess and general of(idk insert kingdom of Greece I can’t think rn I’m sorry)” I let a practiced smirk fall on my face, stretching a bad toward him smoothly.

“Ah- it’s is a pleasure, I’ve heard much about you.”

“And I you.”

And with that we turn back to eat in silence.

———

Later, I wake in the middle of the night, not to noise, but to an unatural stillness, sweat clings to my skin and I stick sickly to my pallet. I push up, wiping my eyes and stepping out of my tent only to realize the night air is even worse, not refreshing at all, it’s still and hot, there is no wind, no solace from the heat. I stretch and look around, padding around camp for a moment, taking a slow walk towards the water, praying it’s cooler than the stifling air around me.

Just as I reach the sandy shore, I spot a figure crouching down, splashing the sea water onto his face and once I get closer I recognize Patroclus. I continue to approach, he finally hears me and lifts his head, giving a polite greeting as he sits back onto his ankles.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

We sit in silence for several minutes, looking to the sky and dipping or toes and fingers in the water to try and find some bit of relief.

“Do you ever wish you hadn’t been the chosen one?”

I turn my head to him then, my brows furrow as I try hard to think.

“I mean, do you ever wish you could have just been a normal princess? Get married, live peacefully in a castle.”

“No.” My answer is simple and final and the silence comes again for several more minutes before I decide I might as well continue. “That life always seemed like a prison to me.” A pause as I sit back up, fiddling with the grains of sand. “Even before the prophecy I hated the typical princess things as you might say. I hated dressing up, hated learning how to be proper, hated every lesson but dancing.”

“Dancing?” The shock is evident in his voice causing a short laugh to bubble up and out of my mouth, the sound also seemingly shocking to the boy.

“Yes. Dancing, I loved that, still do. I think it’s because combat is similar to a dance, a dance of death of course. It can be graceful and fluid, it feels like a performance. But I remember sneaking off to watch the boys of our kingdom learn to fight, I’d stare from my place hidden behind a wall, picking up whatever information I could and I’d practice it in my room at night.” Another sad laugh, memories fill my mind as I stare out at the still sea.

“It’s- I am a disgrace, the only reason I am forgiven is because the gods have bent me to their will. But one-one man, one general he- he caught me one day, I thought I was done for. I’d be exiled or married off early or executed for all to see. Instead he took me under his wing, he taught me in secret how to fight, each night I got better, that’s when Athena made her appearance, blessing me and revealing my destiny. ‘I was to be the greatest lioness there ever was. But I was be lonely in my den and lonesome in my death as no man wanted a lioness and there is only one lion. One whose destiny did not align with mine.’ So of course my secret couldn’t be kept, my father found out, he dint speak to me again until three years later, but you cannot deny the will of the gods so I trained, became the warrior they wanted of me. The general was executed two days after the news came out, and I began private lessons with someone else, hidden, because for someone to see a woman out of her place was a horror.”

“I’m-I’m sorry.”

“Do not be. It is my life, my fate, we all have our paths set out for us, and this is mine.”

More minutes of silence before I stand slowly, “I think it’s time I try to get more rest. You should as well, I’m sure prince Achilles will have notice your absence by now.” I wink as he can only gape up at me. “Your secret is safe with me.”

He scrambles to his feet, “how did- I-i know nothing of what you are talking about.”

“As I said, your secret is safe with me. I know what it’s like to be different in this world and who am I to harm another for no wrong doing.”

I turn before he can speak again, trailing slowly back to my tent, “goodnight Patroclus.”

———

It all started when that spherite came around. I hadn’t seen my twin in long enough to almost forget him…hahaha..then that freak dipshit came around and suddenly I have to see that assholes face again.

“Sis!! long time no see ahaha!” I glare as Jabber jumps on his toes like a toddler.

A smirk slowly pulls at my lips, growing until I’m in a fit of laughter. Soon I hear my brothers own join mine in a sinful tune, eerily the same. I can see Zanka from the corner of my eye, realization dawning on him in real time. Shit. I knew not telling him about my brother would get me in trouble one day and now here we are.

I’m the first to jump, neurotoxins seeping from my claws as they slowly grow in size- it’s a purple similar to the color of Jabbers clothes- a fact that makes me sneer.

“Ooh sis this is just gonna be so fun don’t ya think! Family bonding and all…”

He’s fast as ever on his feet and I can’t help the twisted smile on my face. “You know after you ran off with the janitor crew I didn’t think I’d ever see you again!”

“Oh brother how I’ve missed you.” Another jump, another dodge, “Really- I love being reminded I’m the prettier twin! I forgot how fun it is.”

A laugh, a dance- one we’ve played one too many times. We continue like this, with me ensuring he never gets closer to Zanka…oh Zanka, he’s seeing my wild side come out- oh the fun..

“You know sis- I think you’re getting rusty, the poo crew really ain’t doing you any good are they.” I narrowly missed a swing from him as my head swung back to ensure Zanka was where I left him.

“Ooh hoo hooooo found your weak point sis.” My smile drops- oh no he doesn’t.

But I’m slow

Too slow

I watch him dash- a blur of his locks as he swings by claws nicking my side on the way. I gasp a short laugh bubbling up before I can stop it. But what I will stop? Is him getting his hands on my grump.

I move, before his poison has fully taken affect- I shouldn’t have been able to but sheer will gets me going. Soon im in front of him- staring at my own face in his, a perfect mirror of each other. Identical twins.

He realizes a second too late my hand is halfway in his abdomen and he laughs, an ugly gurgling sounds I can’t help but mimic for some sick reason. “Oh ou played good sis! I miss that- missed ya haha.”

“Ah- ahahaha!” I don’t miss his hand in my own stomach but it finally hits as blood bubbles past my lips dripping down my teeth and chin. We drop at the same time, another twisted mirror of one another.

——

Someone picked Jabber from the ground, I was too busy tripping to realize.

“Yn! Hey- hey look at me!” Someone’s hand is on my face, I can now feel the smile stretched too wide across it laughs uncontrollably bubbling out with spurts of my own blood. “Oh love.. oh love it’s ok.” I seemed to have missed the slow stream of tears also flowing down my face. Whipped my the mystery hand.

“Hey! Zanka what’s going on!” Enjin clambers over followed by the others. My eyes are unnaturally wide still, stuck in between reality and my imagination as my body spasms uncontrollably.

“He-Jabber- the guy he. Oh god. Some toxin- they were fighting and I couldn’t- and.”

“Slow down kid. It’ll be ok. Let get her back to hq and you can tell me what happened once you’ve calmed dow-“

“AHAHAHAHHHAHAAA AHH!” Their heads snap to face me, my life sending a shiver down Zankas spine- it’s unnatural, not me and all too like my apparent brothers.

“Hey- shh shh love it’s ok. It’s ok.” His full attention is back to me, hands back to my face, wiping tears and blood alike. Something in my body somehow- someway relaxes, eyes falling slightly, mouth relaxing just a tiny bit, but enough that Zanka notices, he always notices.

“Ok then- so let’s get crazy chick-“ Zankas up to his feet in a flash, hand around Enjins throat before he can continue, “woah! Sorry man!”

The boy drops him, turning back to my body, carefully picking me up with quiet shush’s as he begins moving to the entrance, not caring to ensure everyone followed him, everyone looks back and forth in confusion before going along in silence themselves. Who knows what happened down here- whatever it was set Zanka off that bad, they’ve never seen him like that- and that’s all they needed to know.

——-

I stare at my hands in silence, no one knows I’m awake and I relish in the quiet, turning to stare out the window of the infirmary. They’re all gonna hate me aren’t they.

Oh god and Zanka

Oh Zanka

I don’t know how he’s going to look at me ever again.

My question is answered when the door creaks open and a familiar head pops in. “You-you’re awake!” God I can’t help but stare as his cheeks slowly tinge pink and he stumbles to my side. “How are feeling? Do I need to go get the nurse? The boss? Water? A pillow? Is it too hot- or or cold?”

He stops himself abruptly, eyes meeting my own that are already welling with tears, his eyes soften as he takes my trembling hand in his. Yet again he somehow just understands.

“I love you. You know? Seeing you like that- it scared me. Like whole body terror that left me debilitated kind of fear. And when you jumped in to save me and I saw you fall and oh there was so much blood. God I’m so glad you’re ok. Oh baby. And I hope you know I don’t blame you for not telling me. you would’ve. I know you would’ve. Just- when the time was right.”

I make the move to pull him into a hug in order to stop his rambling, our body’s melting together as his hand moves to stroke my head. My tears finally slip free, I’m too tired to hold them in.

——

Zanka ends up cuddled up on my bed, our bodies tangled in sleep. Semiu is the first to spot us, slipping out quietly at the sight, warning the others of the two of us.

—————

I shiver, the air is crisp this time of year, nipping at my face and making my fingers hurt even in the short distance from my car to the FBI building in front of me. With one last shake of my head to clear my thoughts, I open the door with shaking hands. inside I'm met with a kind but clearly tired receptionist behind the main desk, fingers typing away groggily at her keyboard before she looks up to face me where I stop before her.

"uh, hello. I'm Agent, L/N. I'm transferring here from our Special victims unit." I attempt a confident smile, but it wobbles on my face and my hands tremble where they sit on the counter. My fingers scratch at my skin. a bad habit I'd developed in my youth and had never quite kicked.

"Ah yes, welcome agent. The BAU is on the second floor, Agent Hotchner will be waiting for you." She passes my new badge to me with a small smile and I nod before moving to the elevator doors.

I try to compose myself in the seconds of my elevator ride, I can't seem unsure in my interview. I'd always been a nervous person but after everything that had happened with my old team, joining this one felt like a larger step than I could take. No. I quickly remove the thoughts from my brain and take a deep breath, flattening my blouse where it stretches uncomfortably over my biceps and shoulders before brushing any stray hairs from my face. The elevator dings and step off into a large room, there's a large area of desks, people sitting and some, others simply piled with what I assume is extra paper work no one wants to do, there's a set of stairs and a balcony leading to private offices on one side of the space and an open doorway leading to another room on another.

The sound of my heels clicking against the flooring sounds like drums through my body and I pray it's not as loud as I feel it is. Some heads turn to face me as I step up the stairs, reading each door plague for Hotchner's. Eventually finding it at an open door, I knock on the frame and the man inside lifts his head, nodding for me to come inside.

I take one, long, steadying breath, composing myself as I step inside and take seat at his desk. "Agent Hotchner, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." My hand shakes his and I pray he doesn't notice the trembling that seems to be a constant in these past months.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well agent L/N." He clears his throat before speaking again, asking simple questions he already knows all the answers to in order to hear them from myself I'm sure. After our conversation, I follow him back out of his office to meet the rest of the team. We walk back down the steps, towards the desks I saw earlier, except this time there's a group of six people standing there. I scan them, picking at my hands as we come to a stop in front of them.

"Everyone, this is Agent Y/n L/n, she's our new transfer from the Special victims unit based in New York. L/n, this is agents, Rossi," he points to the older gentleman who smiles and waves warmly, "Jareau," he points to the blond woman next.

She leans forward, taking my hand with a bright smile, "You can call me JJ, it's nice to meet you."

"Emily," A slightly older, dark haired woman takes my hand as well, giving it a polite shake. "Morgan," A dark skinned man, broad with muscle waves with a smirk and wink that makes me cringe internally. "Garcia," he barely finishes getting her name out before the colorfully clothed woman springs forward with a bright smile, taking my hand in both of hers.

"Hello, it's so nice to finally meet you! I'm Penelope, you're local tech whizz and hot mama! I've read some of your files and I can just tell we're gonna be best friends!" I wish I could tell her no, tell her that I made that mistake once as her hands leave my own.

I offer the best smile I can, "It's nice to meet you as well."

"And lastly, Dr. Reid." I turn to the last man, taller than the other, but thin, with long limbs hidden under khaki pants and a button down, a vest layered on top. A strand of his long hair falls in front of his face, a small, awkward smile sat on his lips. He males no move to shake my hand but offers a small wave instead.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you all, I'm excited to begin working with this team." My hands still scratch at themselves as I smile shyly.

"You don't have to seem so scared sweetheart, we don't bite. Unless you want us to." My direction is brought back to Morgan who sends me another wink, and this time I can't hide the small twinge in my face as he does so, he catches it with a small pout forming on his lip as everyone laughs.

"Don't worry, he's like that with everyone, eventually he'll catch the hint and lay off ya a bit." JJ smiles at me before Hotchner speaks again.

"Reid, why don't you show her around for a moment? We have a new case so be to the conference room in thirty everyone.

We all nod and I turn to Dr. Reid who's already looking at me. "Uh hi, so this is our main desk area but I'll show you your desk later. So, this is the server room...and lastly the break room. We exit the little kitchenette area, stepping back into the main area and he leads me to an empty desk. "So, you'll be here, if you need anything feel free to let any of us know."

"I will, thank you Dr."

His face flushes softly, "Oh, you can call me Spencer, or Reid, no need for formalities."

"Oh uh yeah of course, thank you Reid." I check my watch, deciding I have enough time to set myself up before the briefing. I don't have much, a set of old pens and pencils that go in the small cup left on the edge, some other stationary, and lastly an old photo, sitting in a small frame that I place softly at the corner of my desk space.

I sigh, facing my old team, before everything happened. I remember the night we took the picture, all buzzed slightly, hanging off each other with bright smiles in a small pub back in New York, the flash of light from the camera causing a twinkle in everyone's eyes.

(I'm to lazy to come up with a case rn sorry guys)

-----

The plane ride back from Ohio is a long one, the sky is dark as we fly, everyone spread throughout the space, sleeping or listening to music quietly. I sit at an empty table, staring out the window as I unconsciously itch at my right hand.

"Yo Y/n?" I turn at Derek's voice, ringing far too loud this late at night, "What's your gym routine?" I simply blink in confusion, "I just mean, you're like ripped, almost as strong as me." He chuckles at the end of his sentence.

"What I think Derek is trying to say is, he jealous of your muscles and so are the rest of us."

"Oh-uh thanks? I just- well I've been working out since my early teens so I guess- well I don't know uh-" A nervous chuckle, the only time my mass get's brought up is in a negative light, from high school bullies, to men saying the 'can't date another man'.

"ignore them, they're just nosy, like to pick at everything, they mean it as a good thing though. I promise." Spencer slides into the seat in front of me.

"Hey!"

"Of course, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable. Truly."

JJ and Morgan speak at the same time and I nod to JJ, letting out a small thank you.

It's quiet again, Reid still hasn't left his spot with me, reading his book, occasionally biting at his finger nails. "You're causing sores."

His voice shocks me even if it's soft. My head whips up and he continues, "You're scratching, you've been doing it all day. It's a common stress response, often people with anxiety have pain stims like it."

"oh-uh yeah, I've been doing it since I was a kid, was never really to stop it. i know it's a bad habit but uh," I trail off and he nods in understnading.

"I didn't mean to criticize in any way, I understand. After a really bad case a few years back, I've uh- I've done similar, not so much anymore, but I still bite my nails."

I nod, smiling softly as he goes off on a tangent about ticks and habits picked up in childhood which lead to another tangent and another and another. I didn't mind, listening in the silent of the night.

----------

“Hey! Bring this to the room while I get things cleaned up out here will you?” Dean tosses his duffel at me without waiting for an answer, making me roll my eyes but chuckle softly.

“Sure, uh- what, what room are we in again?” I swear he just told me, but I can’t remember, it’s like I can’t pull the memory out from where it’s stuck in my brain.

“Seriously? I just said” he sighs and laughs softly, “room 115 kid.”

I shake my head, deciding I’m just tired and grin at my brother, taking everything and heading to the room with Sammy.

———

“Hey Sammy? What’s that uh- the stuff that we use on the vampires?” We’re currently hunting a vampire nest in Oklahoma, we’ve tracked them down and plan to move in the morning, currently I’m sitting at the table reading up on anything we can last minute in our dingy hotel room; I can’t seem to remember what we are using on the vampires, which is something I need to know for a VAMPIRE hunt.

Sam’s eyes fill with concern as he looks my way, brows creasing, “you ok kid? We’ve hunted plenty of Vamps, you know this. Dead man’s blood.”

I try to laugh it off, chuckling nervously, my hand finds the back of my neck, “haha- uh yeah I’m good, just didn’t sleep well last night I guess.” That’s not all a lie, I’ve not been sleeping lately, maybe three hours a night the past few days when I’m lucky and it’s starting to catch up to me, I’m paranoid, and more than a hunter normally should be.

“Ok, but you can tell me if something else is going on ok? Why don’t you go lay down?”

I nod, slipping into the bed even though I know it will be another restless night.

———

I feel someone’s hand on me from behind, I scream, twisting around and pulling my arm back.

“Woah kid, calm down it’s just me.” Dean chuckles as I lower my arm, panting as goosebumps paint my skin.

“Not funny Dean.” My brows furrow, his do too, we always scare each other like that, but lately I’ve been so jumpy it’s not even fun anymore.

“Ok, ok. Sorry kid, didn’t mean to scare you too bad.”

———

The motel room is dimly lit by the lamp in the corner, I’m laying on my side, facing away from my talking brothers so they can’t tell I’m still not asleep even though I laid down two hours ago.

“Dean. I’m worried, something is wrong with her.” I freeze at Sam’s voice.

“I know, I just- what could it be? We haven’t been on a witch hunt recently, so she hasn’t been hexed, she hasn’t run into anything new right?”

Sam’s head shakes softly, “no, no but something not right. I mean forgetting what we use dead man’s blood for? Never being able to remember our room number? Dean the other day she asked me if it was Iron or nickel that we used on ghosts. She’s been hunting ghosts for like eight years now.”

“You’re right, and I know she hasn’t been sleeping much lately, she’s exhausted and so jumpy. I wasn’t even trying to scare her, I mean I walked in the room loudly so I didn’t and she jumped and tried to punch me when I touched her the other day.”

I feel two pairs of worried eyes on me, fighting the urge to shrink into myself as my brothers watch my “sleeping” form. They’re right, that’s what scares me. Something is wrong and I don’t know what.

———

“Hey kid, time to get up.” A few weeks have passed since my brothers first addressed the elephant in the room, but still none of us can’t put our fingers on what’s wrong. Of course I say I’m fine but recently everything’s getting worse, my hands are constantly shaking, I feel weak, but the worst thing was when I forgot who Bobby was for a second when he called me. I stalled to pick up the phone trying to remember if I knew a Bobby.

I fall out of bed and practically crawl to the bathroom to wash up before we leave, and a man walks into the door “I’ve got breakfast! Dean I got you a heart attack on a plate, and I got you some waffles kid.” I pause, who- who is that?

Dean clearly knows him, and something deep down, screaming in my gut says I do too. I try desperately to recognize the face, the tall build, the long hair and sparkling eyes. I- I can’t. I shakily exhale, my hands practically vibrating as I subconsciously scoot closer to Dean.

The two men in the room clearly notice, worry washing over their faces. The man I can’t recognize sets the bags of food down, stepping closer to me with a frown, and Dean turns to look me in the eye. As the man moves closer I take a step back without thinking, grabbing deans sleeve softly, tears gather in my waterline and I fight to keep them from falling. I jump at the sound of a car in the parking lot.

What is going on?

What is happening to me?

“Kid, what’s going on?” Dean leans further to my level, sensing my unease and blocking my sight from the unknown man.

“Who-who is that Dean?” He freezes, turning to the man, before back to me, “him?” He points to the only other person in the room, who’s now frozen with a look I can only call horror on his face. I nod, to scared to speak, “That’s Sammy kiddo. You know Sam he’s our brother. Come on kid what’s going on? Are you trying to play a prank?”

Suddenly memories start to come back to me. Sam. I just forgot my own brother. I just- what the hell is going on with me?

“I don’t, Dean I don’t know what’s going on.” Tears fall freely now as I go to hug Sam, “I remember you, I remember now. I’m so sorry.”

He hugs me back tightly, shushing me as he pats my hair, “shh kid, it’s ok, it’ll be ok.”

“You really didn’t remember him did you?”

“Nuh uh, something’s wrong, I mean I didn’t- I didnt know who you were when you walked through that door. Like something in my body told me I did but I couldn’t place who you were or how I knew you. You were a stranger.”

The boys both let our sighs of their own before Dean speaks up, “Well, Cas is MIA, have you run into anything new? Different? Something that could have caused this?”

I think, but shake my head softly, nothing.

Sam speaks up slowly, cautiously, “I did some research, looked into the not supernatural possibilities,” he clears his throat, “ uhm. Everything is pointing to something called Frontotemporal dementia.”

“Dementia?! She’s sixteen, she can’t have dementia! Isn’t that like for old people?”

“It’s the one kind that can affect teens. Dean everything she’s going through, it matches perfectly with the explanation.”

“No. No that’s not possible. No.”

“Dean.” My voice is soft, “he’s right, it could be this.”

“My baby sis can’t get dementia.” Tears are in his eyes and I can tell he’s just as scared as I am. I hug him softly, gripping his shirt softly.

“We should take her to a hospital, they can do tests and see what it is.” Dean pulls away from me and nods at Sam’s words.

“Ok, ok well then, let’s go.”

He grabs his keys, quickly fleeing the room, we follow.

———

I sit patiently in the hospital room, gown letting the air hit my body, causing goosebumps to crawl over my skin. I’m hooked up to a heart monitor and a couple other small machines, a medical bracelet scratching at my wrist as I twist it around my finger.

“It’s ok, it’s gonna be ok, it’s probably not dementia, it’s something simple. We can fix it and go home and everything will be fine. Ok kid?” I nod at deans words, but I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince me or himself at this point.

Dean has always taken care of me and Sammy, he’ll he raised me, more than John ever did. I’m terrified, something is going wrong in my brain and for once I don’t have a supernatural explanation for it. It’s not something I can burn or hunt.

But Dean. God he’s gotta be petrified, I can see it in his stiff shoulders, the way his eyes, now dull, refuse to meet mine, in the way he grips my hand so tightly; like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go.

Or forget him.

I forgot Sam.

I forgot Bobby.

I- is there someone else I’ve forgotten? Someone that just erased from my memory and I didn’t know? There could be a whole other person, someone I spent my life with, someone I’ve known for years and… and they could be gone. The memories could be ripped from my head.

I try to say everyone’s names every day, practice words that I struggle with, my voice lagging behind sometimes. But what if I’m missing someone and don’t even realize.

I’m pulled from my spiral as a nurse knocks on the door before entering with a clip board in hand. “Hey sweetheart. We have to bring you in for the MRI now ok?” I nod, standing slowly, shakily. My brothers brace themselves, like I’m a baby deer learning to walk, like my body could fail at any moment. “Brothers, you can wait in here and we’ll be back as soon as the scanning is done.

Dean opens his mouth, likely to protest as his face contorts in anger, but Sam cuts him off. “That’s perfect. Thank you. Good luck kid, we’re right here, everything will be ok.”

Dean pulls me into a shaking hug, pressing his face into my hair, “I love you kid. We’ll be right here ok, I’ll see you as soon as you get back ok.”

I nod, taking in a breath before separating from my brother and following my nurse down the bland hallways.

———

I’m back in the room, sitting in tense silence, my brothers sitting on either side of my bed. The TV is on, audio playing lowly, but no body watches it as we wait for someone to come back with the results and my fate.

I’m yet again startled by a knock, the doctor that took those scans, his name plate reads as “Dr.Murray”

His face is solem as he clears his throat, coming to stand in front of us. “Well. It’s a good thing you brought her in. I’ll say that.” A deep sigh leaves his mouth as my brothers grips on my hands get impossibly tighter, “We are seeing some deterioration of the pre-frontal cortex. Everything is pointing to frontotemporal dementia.”

“So what-what can we do?” Sam’s voice is water, quiet.

“Well, there’s not a lot, there’s no cure. We have treatments to lessen some symptoms, and other than that we can keep her comfortable and around familiar faces.”

“You’ve got to be kidding!” Deans voice is loud as he stands, moving closer to the poor doctor, “no! No there has to be something you can do! You can’t be that freaking worthless! I’m not letting my sister forget everyone and die here man. You are the doctor you have to do something!” His voice continues to escalate, now pointing an accusing finger at Dr. Murray who looks nothing but sympathetic, maybe a hint of pity.

“Dean. Dean you need to calm down.” It’s Sam’s voice that cuts him from his stupor- well, somewhat. Not really actually, his focus just shifts to our brother.

“No sam! You’re saying you’re ok with him saying we just have to let her continue to forget everything? Let her continue to deteriorate in front of us?! Hell no!”

“Dean. Dean it’s ok, im going to be ok.” He finally seems to calm as I speak, sorting back in his chair.

“Listen, I understand this is a lot to take in. I’ll give you guys some space, some time. We’ll get miss Winchester started on some IV medications, and proceed with further testing. We’ll have her moved to a long-term stay room, and we can have accommodations set for you to stay with her if that is what you wish.”

“That would be amazing. Thank you Dr.” Said doctor nods tightly before leaving, the door shutting softly behind him.

———

I’m settled into a bed in the “long-term stay” room, played back with pads on my chest, something attached to my head, and needles slowly dripping into my arms. I stare at the ceiling, the room is dark, and Dean is still gripping my hand, folded uncomfortably over my bed despite the cot the hospital provided. Sam is passed out on the couch, snoring softly.

“Dean.”

“Yeah kid.”

“I don’t know if I wanna die.” He flinches softly, “I guess I’m not scared of dying. But I’m scared of what comes before. I don’t wanna forget you guys. I heard people go crazy, they change personalities. One girl forgot her own son, tried to attack him anytime he entered the room, he was just a kid. I don’t wanna be mean to you Dean. I don’t wanna forget you.”

“Hey, hey kiddo. Hey. Everything is going to be ok. You’re not gonna die. Ok? We’ll figure this out.”

“No dean. You heard the doctor, there’s no cure, I don’t know how long I have till I can’t function, till I forget everyone important to me. Till I become a different person.”

“No kid. You listen to me. We are Winchesters ok? We’ve literally fought through hell and came out alive. Ok? We’ll figure it out. I’ll figure it out.”

I decide to let myself listen to my brother, even though we both know there’s nothing we can do. There’s no monster we can kill, no object we can burn or hex bag we can throw away. This is real. This is something that I can’t get rid of. Something not supernatural.

—————

I fidget nervously as I wait for my cue to go on stage, Chan’s vocals the background of my growing panic, only causing it to be worse of course as it brings me back to last night.

(Im on my phone so I can’t italicize)

*Earlier*

Chan groans low in his throat as I try my vocals again, “You’re doing it wrong.” He snaps, voice quiet but his tone is harsh enough he doesn’t need to yell.

“What do you mean I’m doing it wrong?” I throw my hands up in air quotes around the word “wrong” my voice more strained than usual.

I’m tired, he’s tired, we’ve been at this for hours, perfecting our surprise duet for the fans, almost obsessively. A glance to the clock would show the blaring 2:00 am, but neither of us care to- or dare to acknowledge the outrages time in the studio.

“You can’t seem to do anything right! The fans are gonna be disappointed and it’s your fault! The dance earlier-“

I cut him off, “I stumbled ONE time Chan!”

“And now you can’t even get your voice high enough- hell I can go higher!” He continues ranting, voice growing in tension and volume as he goes, stepping closer to me slowly.

“Maybe this is a mistake then!” He knows I don’t just mean the song, knows the depth behind the words.

“Maybe it is!” He rips his hands from their place in his hair, panting softly. “we’re done for the night. Get home safe.” He grumbles lowkey as he storms from the room.

I breathe in as stead as I can, sinking to the floor as I try to calm down. Blinking, I notice the tears falling down my face. “This is ridiculous.” I pick myself up from the floor, starting a new track (idk music stuff) and singing my lines again, I’ll get it right.

——

“Have you seen Yn noona?” Jeongin speaks, swallowing a mouthful of egg.

“Come to think of it no. Not since last night. Channie Hyung?”

“Huh?” He picks his head up from the table at the sound of Felix’s voice, eyes tired and red.

“When you came home, was Yn with you?”

“Ye-“ he cursed himself off as he thinks, no, she never followed him out. “No.”

“What do you mean no! You always leave together, how late were you there anyway!”

“I- we had an argument, I left at two. I guess I was so angry I didn’t stop to think if she followed me out or not.”

“Chan!” Everyone around the table exclaims, Minho even snaking him upside the back of his head softly.

Just as the panic begins to set in, the front door to the door opens and soft footsteps approach the kitchen. “Sorry I’m late, I missed my alarm.”

Yn looks worse than Chan, eye bags deep and dark, eyes red and puffy. She makes her way to the table slowly, freshly made cup of coffee in hand, thank you Changbin. She plops in a chair unceremoniously, taking an apple from the bowl in the center of the table. “I got those vocals re-recorded. They should be right this time.”

The words, whilst calm, tear through Chan. “How late were you out noona?” Jisung’s voice pulls him from his thoughts

Her head falls back as she thinks, “uh, I think like 4. I don’t, I don’t know.”

Again, sounds of protests fill the dining room, and Chan nervously looks to the girl, regret filling him even further than the night before.

———

(Now)

“You’re my forbidden fruit- forbidden fruit.”

Chans voice fades as the ring carrying me slowly comes to the stage, my voice filling the stadium, fog flowing out and covering the stage, the lights harsh and soft all at the same time.

“I had a taste, there’s nothing sweeter. On my lips I’ve kissed the reaper.”

I step down, dress trailing behind me as I step forward, making my way to a huffing Chan, who stands perfectly poised. I can’t help but admire the way the light hits his white suit, ruffled lightly from the effort of his performance. Our voices begin again, together this time as I continue my path, “it’s so much stronger than you know.”

I meet him finally, hand falling into his, my face desperate as my voice, “Temptation, I can’t escape you. Escape you.” Tears fall from my eyes unwillingly as we spin, reminding me of a scene from phantom of the opera or some other movie similar.

We part dramatically again, “clawing” to each other.

“Oh- temptation, I can’t escape you. Escape you. Desire, you’re my forbidden fruit, forbidden fruit.” The song ends with his hand softly rested on my face, thumb whipping at the tears as the music fades and the lights dim.

——

Screams erupt from the stands, fans yelling and shrieking at our performance. Did I do good? Did I do it right this time? I don’t realize I’ve spoken the words out loud until I hear Chan, softer than I think I’ve ever heard, “yes. Yes you did everything right, you did it perfect, you always do it perfect.”

We can’t seem to pull ourselves apart until we are forced by staff, the one taking my grumbling at the moisture on my face, ushering me to the makeup station for a touch up before we’re rushed back out with the rest of the members this time.

We all speak, closing the concert for the night, thanking Stay, hoping they enjoyed the surprise song as we duck back behind stage with a collective sigh.

———

“Damn. Channie hyping and Yn are going crazy viral. Everyone loves you guys.”

“Yeah! You’re being shipped harder than before!”

“I agree with Stay on this one, the chemistry out there was crazy. And you’re tears- amazing touch noona!”

I blush as the boys continue to go on about the performance and the reaction from it, stays are going crazy.

They liked it. I did it right. I did good.

I still refuse to talk to Chan about what happened, anytime he tries to bring it up I find a way to leave, I’m too scared about what it means. About what else comes after that.

—————