I think itâs pretty obvious that John had non-platonic feelings for Paul complicated by mental illness but thereâs not any actual evidence Paul had feelings for John beyond friendship.
I could write a 5,000-word essay about this lol, but I will try to be as brief as possible.
To me, this is a fascinating topic because most of the evidence used to show that John was "obviously" in love with Paul has a direct equivalent on Paul's side. The major difference in the narrative usually comes down to Yokoâs statement in Philip Norman's book (though that quote itself is somewhat problematic, as the author admitted to altering some of the wording and adding his own interpretation, like the whole "immovable heterosexuality" term he used to describe Paul). Still, it is treated as the most explicit evidence because it's John's wife discussing his feelings for Paul, alongside her mentioning that John was bisexual. On Paul's side, we have less explicit but highly suggestive statements from his ex-girlfriends, like Francie and Maggie, who implied they believed Paul had feelings for John too. Another major factor that, for many people, seals the evidence for John is his well-documented attraction to men, which he hinted at himself. While Paul is much more guarded, there are subtle details about him that could be interpreted the exact same way; we just don't get the same blunt statements or impulsive behavior that we saw from John. It is worth mentioning, however, that one of his exes called refered to him as closeted and said that he often didn't feel "manly enough", while another noted how defensive he was about his sexuality and how he hated being called queer (and believe it or not, there were plenty of rumours in the 60s about Paul being gay, even Paul himself said this to John Dunbar). We never see speculation about Paulâs sexuality in the media today (or back then either, at least publicly), yet Paul has, for decades, unpromptedly talked about how "completely ungay" and "secure in his sexuality" he is, to the extent that you have to wonder where that defensiveness stems from. None of this really proves anything though, I just thought this could add more nuance to the subject, as many people often claim that Paul's heterosexuality has never been put into question, in constrast to John.
When people point to the "obvious" evidence of John being in love with Paul, they usually compile specific things: John's intense jealousy of Paul's romantic partners; the whole "John never looked at anyone the way he looked at Paul" backed by photo compilations of him gazing at Paul; John expressing physical attraction to Paul ("I fell for his looks," "he looked like Elvis. I dug him"); John being very defensive of Paul and threatening to hit anyone who spoke badly of him; John writing love songs about him; John obsessing over and missing him intensely in the 70s; John rushing to marry Yoko as soon as Paul married Linda; John making sexual jokes about Paul; John moaning Paulâs name during a rehearsal tape; and John constantly using marriage language to describe their bond. But the thing is, we have "evidence" from Paul that has a parallel to every single one of those examples. We have ample instances of Paul being jealous of Yoko (with him reportedly looking disturbed whenever John would talk about how much he loved Yoko) and Stuart (with Paul's own girlfirend at the time mentioning how much Paul hated Stu because of his relationship with John). Interestingly, he didn't seem to be jealous of Cynthia, just as John didn't seem to be jealous of Maggie, Francie, or Dot, all of whom mentioned how well John treated them. We have videos and photos of Paul staring at John just as intensely and lovingly, if not more so. We have Paul using romantic and marriage metaphors even more frequently than John. We have Paul drunkenly murmuring John's name over and over in a studio in the late 70s. We have examples of Paul being fiercely defensive of John, with witnesses stating he would literally leave the room if someone spoke badly of him. Paul made suggestive jokes about him and John, wrote emotionally loaded, romantically coded songs about John, and people close to him in the 70s reported how deeply he missed John, calling it a "huge hole" in his life. Paul also made repeated comments about John's looks (often whenever he's talking about seeing John at the church fete) that seem to imply physical attraction: "He looks good. I wouldn't mind being in a group with him," or "He had beautiful hands" (Paul loved hands btw. A friend of his mentioned how he'd go on and on about Linda's hands). He even admitted to coming to love John's "beery breath" and recalled seeing him at the fete by saying, "I just thought, âWell, he looks good...â Of course, he had his glasses off, so he looked really suave." People dwell on John rushing to get married after Paul, but they forget that Paul himself admitted his own wedding to Linda was (at least partly) spurred by John being so close to Yoko that Paul felt left out and reacted by getting married ("we spurred each other into marriage"). You should also compare the way he talks about John vs the way he talks about any other of his friends. It could not be more different.
Ultimately, the thing that makes John's evidence stand out more to the public is simply that John was more blunt and direct, and his behavior was more impulsive and shocking, making the "evidence" from Paul's side appear more understated by comparison. But we do have plenty of people who knew them well talk about the intensity going both ways, and not one-sided at all. And, as I pointed out, for every piece of "evidence" used to argue that John was in love with Paul, there's often a comparable and compelling "evidence" that can be used to argue the same for Paul.
