Did I Shave My Legs For This

the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride

Ms Polygraph Test

$200 birthday

Yet when I asked my friend “what does your church do to make bigots feel unwelcome? is there any way in which your church explicitly calls out bigotry in a way bigots will recognize as referring to them?” he didn’t have an answer. When I asked him how the church arbitrated cases of a bigot making someone feel unwelcome in the community, he told me that the system required the victim to first bring the issue up with the instigator privately, then again with a mutual acquaintance as a mediator, and only then could they bring it to church authorities. (We had a loooooong talk about why that’s a problem). When I asked if the church explicitly invited marginalized members to give feedback on church authority’s conduct and assistance, he said no. Did his church do sermons on how to specifically be accepting and welcoming or merely say “love everyone”? It was the latter. Did my friend know of anyone who had been kicked out or otherwise reprimanded for not being welcoming of marginalized members? No, for domestic violence yes, but not for that.

What had they done? Well they’d preached the message of universal love very strongly, emphasized that god doesn’t hate anyone, and just generally not been discriminatory. 

So, I told my friend as gently as I could, you’ve done nothing. And you fundamentally do not understand the marginalized experience or, for that matter, the point of church. 

The point of church, I reminded my devout friend, as opposed to private study of the Bible, is community. I mean, that’s the point of any social space, but specifically in churches the point is unconditional community. It is meant to be a place where everyone can automatically assume that everyone else there will accept them, shelter them, and care for them. Celebrate your accomplishments, commiserate your problems, and just generally be interested in your life. Like, that’s The Point. It’s what holds churches together. 

But if you haven’t explicitly and without exception purged your church of bigoted members? (Yes, even “I love you and I’ll fight for your rights, even if I think it’s not God’s plan” members). If you haven’t done that, your church cannot offer unconditional community. That ceases to be a perk you can offer. At least not to marginalized members. When your flock is a potential landmine of people who will give you the cold shoulder if you mention your SO or narrow their eyes if you bring up a racial injustice you deal with, you don’t have an unconditional community. You have a conditional community at best, a social group you hold yourself at a remove from most likely, and an active threat to your safety at worst. 

This isn’t a function of what a church preaches, but what it curates. What it tolerates within its ranks. What it seeks out and puts a stop to. An inclusive church is not a church which says “everyone is welcome” but a church which is not afraid to lose bigoted members to protect marginalized members. 

Ian left the South Side to attend Juilliard in NYC and pursue a career in ballet. He is on a full scholarship but he still needs to earn money which he makes working as an exotic dancer in a Peep Show. Mickey and Mandy were adopted at a young age and grew up in Brooklyn with Italian immigrant parents who love them to the moon. Mickey is a hedge fund manager and Mandy manages a popular nightclub and restaurant in the city where Ian works. Sexy shenanigans ensue.

London Calling

Stories where Jared is in England for a significant and/or important portion of the story. Please heed the warnings where the stories are posted; there’s a deathfic in here, folks. Since most of these stories are posted on Ao3, please consider leaving Kudos and Commenting. It’s the only payment an author ever gets and, speaking from experience, it makes them very happy.

The Rake and the Footman by veronamay on A03. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Set in 1855, Jared is a footman and Jensen is the upper-class society member who falls for him.

Had We But World Enough And Time by Amberdreams on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Jensen Ackles had only fallen in love once in his life, and that was with someone he’d never met.Now in his twilight years, he tells the story of how he fell in love with Polish bomber pilot, Jared Padalecki. It is a tale of courage, loss, suppressed desires and ultimately, redemption. (no penetrative sex)

The Molly House by annie46fic on A03. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Under the rule of Charles II, Jared, a Puritan, is “given” to royalist Jensen.

The Hellfire Club by Annie46fic on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. In late, Victorian England, Jared is teamed up with American, bare-knuckle boxer Jensen to help solve the mystery of a new, Ripper-esque killer prowling the streets of London.

Innocent Fire by Fatebegins on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Jensen is a rich debauched Lord known for his wild parties and wilder ways. Jared is a shy country mouse. Due to a long standing agreement between their families, they are arranged to be married. (warning: contains non-graphic mpreg) (must be logged in to read)

Sitters by compo67 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. In 19th century, Victorian England, post-mortem photographs are taken of deceased relatives as commemorative pieces. Jared Padalecki is highly recommended as a photographer of the dead. It’s not the corpses that disturb him, but the living.

The Golden Cage by Phoenix1966 (me) on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Jared Padalecki was on the adventure of a lifetime before settling into the drudgery of life as a clerk in his father’s company. But as he traverses the Arabian Peninsula, his caravan is attacked and he ends up the property of Sheikh Ankour, forced to bend to the man’s every whim. (warning: contains non-graphic mpreg; must be logged in to read).

At the World’s End by geek_chic_girl on LiveJournal. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Alone in a foreign country, Jared searches for himself and finds love. (and a small timestamp Tapestry).

Somebody made you smile into their lens by the_milky_way on LiveJournal. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Jared Padalecki loves to spend his time buried in books. Jensen Ackles is the photographer everybody wants to hire. They are polar opposites but neither of them can help being drawn to one another whenever they meet - and Jensen doesn’t even believe in fate. So Jensen doesn’t really get why fate insist on throwing them together over and over again when it’s not him being crazy over the geek but Chris.

1978 by sonofabiscuit77 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  England, 1978: a time of strikes, class warfare, power shortages and institutional homophobia. At an elite boarding school, scholarship student, Jensen Ackles, grocer’s son and fly-half for the school’s Rugby First XV, falls in love with fellow boarder, Jared Padalecki, stockbroker’s son and aspiring artist. But the path of love never runs smooth, especially for two boys in 1970’s England with the world, and society, against them. (implied future bottom!Jared).

Your Money or Your Life by annie46fic on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Lord Jensen Ackles has everything, money, position and power. However, he does not believe in love. Will a close encounter with a Highwayman change his mind and will it be only his jewellery that is stolen?

Long Way Home by topaz on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  All Jared had to do was get in, find the treasure, and get out before everybody figured out the scam. Simple. Yeah, right.

To See the World in a Grain of Sand by princess_indira on LiveJournal. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Steampunk AU. Heartbroken and eager to prove himself, Jensen Ackles makes a bet: that he will be able to go around the world in 80 days, no matter what obstacles one could find along the way. With the aid of a man with many hidden talents who now acts as his valet and a young engineer with a dubious heritage and a disarming smile, Jensen embarks on the journey of a lifetime, not knowing that danger is always just one step behind him. Will he make it home in time? (no penetrative sex).

To Let My Heart Be Heaved by Exultant Motion by Rini and Saklani on LiveJournal. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Orphan Jared Padalecki gets a position as the groundskeeper of the great Thornhill Hall. His first meeting with the owner, Jensen Ackles, is not auspicious. And what lurks in the tower, screaming and sobbing at night?

Love Like an Icelandic Volcano by qblackheart on LiveJournal. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Apparently, when volcanoes erupt in Iceland, they not only throw the world into chaos, but once the embers burn themselves out and the dust settles, love rises from the ashes.  

Standard disclaimer regarding story links:

Hi nonnie!  Sorry this took so long — I tend to leave aside asks that I know will take awhile to compose an answer to (and boy, howdy if this isn’t one of those. lol), and shamefully end up forgetting they’re there for way too long. But I’m a teensy burnt on writing atm and came across this, so:

(This got wayyy longer than I intended, so it’s going under a cut. :D)

SPN Reverse Bang 2018

It’s that time of year again!

I’ll be updating and reblogging this at the end of each day, give or take (unlike the BB, I won’t be doing an Honorable Mention list; I’ll simply call out those stories that are non-explicit or have switching). No postings on weekends. Please consider leaving a comment if you read any of these stories, as it is the only payment the author ever receives. And, as always, head the warnings where the story is posted.

Nov. 5th - Beyond the Shore by lyryk(s_k) on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Age of Sail AU. Six years after Jensen left the Navy—and Jared—to become a pirate, Jared seeks him out. (no penetrative sex - implied bottom!Jared).

Blood in His hands by sepherim_ml on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest.  Ruby and Crowley bring back Sam from hell, but Sam can’t remember anything after planning on killing Lilith. Poisoned by Ruby’s lies, Sam slowly descends into demon blood addiction until Dean intervenes. (no penetrative sex onscreen)

Nov. 7th - The Thing About Lotus Flowers by smalltrolven on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest.  The Men of Letters had a garden out back behind the bunker. Sam puts in the time to reclaim it, and there is a surprising reward that both Winchester brothers eventually discover. (no penetrative sex)

Heaven Has Denied Us by ellerkay on Ao3. Sam/Gadreel. Sadreel.  Months after his supposed death, Gadreel shows up at the bunker, badly injured but very much alive. Sam takes care of him, and they discover an affinity.  (no penetrative sex)

Nov. 8th - Take Anything You Want From Me by AmyPond45 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Jared is a newly-made guardian angel, Jensen’s his charge. Jensen is reckless and prone to accidents, so Jared has his work cut out for him, saving Jensen from burning buildings, dangerous falls, near-miss car accidents. Jensen just wants to see Jared, to hear his voice, to feel his touch. He might be a little in love. (warning: implied switching although only bottom!Jared onscreen)

Nov. 9th - We Don’t Share Well by FogsRollingIn on Ao3. Jared/Misha. Mishalecki. Jared, a ballet teacher, and Misha, a yoga instructor, mix about as well as oil and water. Lucky they rarely have much to do with each other at the Morgan Fitness and Wellness Center, as Jared’s studio is on the first floor and Misha’s is upstairs.Their luck runs out when the Morgans schedule second floor renovations that’ll last for three months in the fall, forcing Jared to share his studio with the impossible yogi.

The Claiming by TammyRenH on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest.  When Sam saves Dean rather than killing Michael, the hunters from the tear decide that he no longer deserves to be a leader, or an Alpha. Through magical means, two of the others painfully change Sam from an Alpha to an Omega. There is a claiming competition where several Alphas fight for the right to claim Sam, but at the last moment Dean (and Baby) come in and save the day - but he still has to claim Sam, or someone else will.

Have a great weekend! More stories starting on Monday.

Nov. 12th - Born Under a Bad Sign by wincest_whore on LiveJournal. Sam/Dean. WIncest.  While Sam is possessed by Meg, she learns a few interesting things about the young Winchester brother. Like his more than brotherly feelings for Dean. And what better way to break a couple of Winchester boys than to act on those feelings?

The Things I’d Do For You by jasmineisland on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest.  Dean’s gone- Michael has taken him and Sam has no idea where. Both brothers are fighting their own battles to find each other again. (no penetrative sex)

Nov. 13th - Something Worth Taking Away by Septembers_coda on Ao3. Sam/Castiel. Sastiel. Michael travels back to the year 2001 to try to convince a more vulnerable Dean to be his vessel, choosing the fraught time after Sam left for Stanford. When Castiel goes back to stop him, he has solid plans to dispatch Michael and confidence in Dean’s resistance…. but is utterly unprepared for the phenomenon of 18-year-old Sam.He didn’t plan to fall in love… but maybe he was always in love, and always would be. (the sex is ambiguous as to who tops and bottoms)

Nov. 14th - No Sam/Jared stories today.

Nov. 15th - Ride with you upon the wind by soy_em on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Jared’s been riding through the country for months now, unwilling to stop anywhere for more than a night. But when a thunderstorm forces him to accept shelter from a mysterious green-eyed man, he finds himself questioning his journey as well as wondering who Jensen really is.

Nov. 17th - The Lion and the Wolf by hunters_retreat on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. “Wave at your people, Husband,” the King said softly in his ear. “They will worship you if you treat them right. They will curse you if you abuse them. I prefer to keep them happy,” he said as he raised a hand and waved to the people.Jared looked at his new husband for a moment before he caught his sister’s eye. She had followed behind and was standing a step behind and to the left of the King. She looked more pleased than he liked, but he turned back to the people and waved as his husband asked.

One snuck in! More stories on Monday. Have a great weekend!

Nov. 19th - Zero by jessie_cristo on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Humans are a dying breed and the last in North America now live in Mega-City; a massive, fortress-like city made of metal and stone, surrounded by outpost towns that protect its borders.Jared is an inventor recruited by the Matriarchy to create a stronger and better weapon of war. Commander Jensen Ackles is his military advisor.With a cyborg dog, a love-struck sentient tank, and a highly advanced A.I. that considers itself a matchmaker on the side, what could go wrong? (brief allusion to potential switching)

Nov. 20th - Take Me to Church by storyspinner70 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  World traveler playboy Jared Padalecki wakes up to find he belongs to powerful wealthy business tycoon Jensen Ackles as a sub/pleasure slave and slowly discovers the place he truly belongs.

Music that Would Flow over My Bitter-Tainted, Trembling Lips by whispered_story on Ao3. Sam/Dean. Wincest.  Sam hasn’t heard from Dean for weeks - ever since he left for Stanford. Then he finds an envelope with a mixtape in his mailbox. A series of texts, phone calls and a couple more mixtapes follow, and Sam’s plan to finally get over Dean comes crashing down. (one scene could imply top!Sam, but this is only bottom!Sam onscreen).

Nov. 21st - Three Parts Of the Same Soul by Padackles31719 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen/JDM. J3 AU.  Jared Padalecki knew how lucky he was when he found out that not only did he have one soulmate, but two. He had the perfect life, until he didn’t. (warning: switch!Jared, bottom!Jensen).

sounds like The Days You Choose from the

Backdrifting series.

Imagine that. Just take a moment. You’ve won some ridiculous sum of money. All your problems are over. 

And then the phone calls start.

This is why you CONTACT A LAWYER. A lawyer from a LARGE, NATIONAL FIRM, no juniors or associates, you want a full-blown partner. Don’t use anyone local or anything. You want somebody who has no clue who you are, and somebody who works in ‘Trusts and Estates’.

Play dress-up when you go to collect your money if there is any possibility of photographs. Been wanting to change your hair drastically? DO IT AFTER. Now is the time for all that foundation that doesn’t match and the makeup you hate! Wear the stupid hat that makes you look like a flower pot! Wear the clothes that make you look like you have a totally different body shape! Grow the douchebeard! Just change what you look like. You don’t want to be recognized. There was a lottery winner who was forced away from his favorite eating spot because financial stalkers would lurk and demand cash or ‘suggest’ ways to spend his money, and these weren’t people interested in job interviews or anything. When he had to stop going there, they figured out where he lived and started intimidating and accosting family members.

See if you can get them to write your name differently if there’s a giant cheque, too. Instead of Alyn Tony Jones or something, see if they’ll just put A. T. Jones. Now, I’m fucked because my last name is pretty unique, but you might not be!

Collect your prize in a locale that is as far away from your home area as possible. By this point, you should have already made your plans for all of this shit and where the money is going, read ahead for that. Then? Vanish. For a month. Take a cruise or just take off in your car or go rent a beachfront. Roleplay Carmen Sandiego or Where’s Waldo. Wait for everyone to calm their tits.

Take the lump sum. You take a tax hit but you also have access to all the cash, and no, you won’t be beating inflation somehow by taking the annuity.

Decide, RIGHT FUCKING NOW, how much you are going to give to your family and friends. Inform your lawyer of that amount. Don’t talk to your family about this or you get into endless arguments over how much you gave to who, and who influenced you to do that, which– no joke– may result in a lawsuit. Because people are greedy, ignorant, and sue-happy.

Worth noting. Do not buy them sweet fuck all, and do not under any circumstances hand out cash (you will never be able to stop without being labeled a stingy bitch). No houses. No cars. Set up trusts. These trusts should not total more than 15-20% of your new worth. Then dictate what they can do with that trust. Higher education? Sure! Down payment for a house? Eh… should they be buying a house if they can’t even afford the down payment without help? It’s another thing entirely if something in the house that wasn’t their fault catastrophically failed. You’ve already set up a trust for them that is massively generous.

Put like 30% of your cash in a Swiss bank account and buy some municipal bonds, Swiss bonds, an S&P 500 doodah. These are your safety nets. Unless the world economy gets drop-kicked into the toilet, you are now taken care of for life solely off of these. So you could go nuts on whatever remains and buy eight thousand spinning wheels or something. With your lawyer (LAWYER) you should be protected from most lawsuits, and the trusts ensure your family is taken care of because those trusts cannot be touched. However, don’t put all your money in these– invest in some real estate, stocks and bonds, whatever. But learn about it all and figure out how this shit works. Do not sign ANYTHING until you understand exactly what is going on, and ask every stupid question before signing and get second opinions. You do not want to be snookered out of your cash.

So. You should also have: changed your phone numbers to unlisted ones, gotten a PO box and immediately switched all mail delivery to the PO box. Shred any mail that turns up that is not from somebody you know.