Artist Daniel Rarela creates âLetter from a Birmingham Jailâ memes to stop people from whitewashing MLK
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Artist Daniel Rarela creates âLetter from a Birmingham Jailâ memes to stop people from whitewashing MLK
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Idris Elba
By Charlie Gray (via x)
HUNTSVILLE, ALâScanning his mind for any minority groups he could have demonized more forcefully, Alabama Senate candidate and secret Democratic operative Roy Moore admitted Tuesday that he wasnât sure what else he could have done to destroy the Republican Partyâs reputation. âWhen Nancy [Pelosi] sent me here, I was convinced that revealing myself as a pedophile would be more than enough, but now Iâm just at a loss,â said Moore, who admitted he thought DNC chair Tom Perez was going over the top by suggesting he say gay marriage had made the U.S. the source of all evil, but that didnât even budge the polls. âI mean, I stood on a stage and wistfully recalled the era in which slavery existed in this country. What else am I supposed to do? Iâve been really digging deep to vilify the GOP and make myself unelectable, but I still might win.â At press time, Moore was kicking himself for not sabotaging himself more egregiously by claiming he supported a ban on assault weapons.
Okay, but listen, Star Wars where everything is the same, but Luke and Leia are replaced by Jean-Ralphio and Mona Lisa Saperstein.
which Michael from The Good Place are you today?
today, the last one

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THE GOOD PLACE MEME âş [2/8 gags] The curse filter âł âIf youâre trying to curse you canât here. I guess a lot of people in this neighbourhood donât like it, so itâs prohibitedâ
Bonus:
i feel like iâm already tired tomorrow
this.
The Signs as Witches
Aries:Â uses bodily ingredients such as hair or teeth or nails, wild and free and howling at the moon, fire tells them what they want to know, embraces all but does not tolerate betrayal, gifted in the use of poppets and curses, full of energy and static and power
Taurus: a collector of many things, uses crystals and herbs, proficient in kitchen magic, has an inner strength that knows no bounds and no true master, a home full of colored glass and jars filled with anything you could ever need, rooted and able, wears robes with many many pockets
Gemini: a card reader and game changer, spoken spells fill the very air with magic and potential, an avid learner and sharer of their craft, books and tomes and candles fill their space, knows the power of words and names, tattoos sigils and spells all over their body and they seem to move when you arenât looking, vast and uncontainable
Cancer: rests under the moon and whispers magic in their sleep, uses astral projection to explore and learn and play with ghosts, elaborate and detailed dream diary, deep understanding of astrology, somehow already knows what youâre going to say, mysterious and soft but only on the surface, a knower of secrets, sleepy eyes, lives in a tree in a misty forest and makes friends with the plants and spirits there
Leo: strongest in the day and has eyes that light up the night, mighty voice and skilled hands, breath carries a spark, animalistic energy you can feel when they look at you, makes their own spells borrows their own power, incredible visualization makes their dreams realities, difficult to look at directly for reasons you donât really understand, wild hair and adorned in gems
Virgo: techno witch, weaves magic into code and text, keeps a blog as their book of shadows and altar, urban magic, has a restless mind and busy hands, deletes negativity out of their life, has much information to share despite their hollow look, eyes are lit from the inside, their phone is full of pictures that keep moving and notes only they can read
Libra: covered in veils and breathes perfume to hide themselves and confuse you, summons creatures and demons to do their bidding so their hands remain clean, almost transparent at times like a ghost or vision, is stronger than they look and delights in you not knowing their power, their mouth is almost always moving but you canât hear what they say, soft to the touch but their skin is cold, trinkets and charms and chains adorn them and their home
Scorpio: eyes and nails are dark and caked in black, frequents graveyards and learns from the ghosts and crows, solitary witch who makes friends with bones, will help you learn what you want to know for a price, is afraid to sleep, quiet and haunted, is reborn each new moon, is full of knowing and fog and promise, takes a lock of hair from all they help, you feel them in your core
Sagittarius: rides their broom with reckless abandon, plays with the children on Halloween and shows them magic is real, their home has legs and never stays still, keeps many familiars and most are birds, gifted in charms and potions and sells their work with a smile, you can hear them laughing with the moon at night, chapped lips and wide eyes, magic is erratic and spontaneous and they couldnât control it if they wanted to
Capricorn: loose black and gray clothing that flows when they walk, keeps a pouch of salt around their neck at all times, face is often covered or hard to see, protection spells and sigils are their innate ability, the floor trembles when they are angry, always watching watching watching, lives in a stone cottage covered with moss and scrawlings and carvings, other witches are silent around them out of fear and awe
Aquarius: hermit, storm witch, plays with rain and dances with lightning and shouts thunder, keeps trinkets and mementos in small jars around their bed, asks favors and learns from the clouds, raw and swift and ready to act, soft as a summer rain and cold as hail, hair is full of leaves and wind, feet are dirty but their mind is clean and sharp
Pisces: smells of salt and dressed in rags and burlap and pearls, misty eyes that look through you and deep deep down in you, water witch with a soft face and an ocean for a heart, thing of the sea, empath who sometimes knows you better than you do, bottles own tears and keeps them for spells, witch of all trades master of none, head is full of crashing waves, overflowing with magic and wonder
what a difference a good supervisor makes. my last job was the worst i ever had. i had no respect from the faculty and my boss was the absolute worst. non-communicative. passive aggressive. rude. didnât ever give me the information i needed. in response i worked like shit, and everything just got worse and worse. quitting was the best thing ever, even though my new job didnât start for five months.Â
not everyone should be a manager. iâve been thinking about this a lot for the past few months, because my 2 years at that department were horrible, and no one even noticed for months that i was gone--they kept emailing me for help. i guess it wasnât a good fit overall, but i really think the blame lies with my crummy boss, who never introduced me to my colleagues or took me to lunch or even responded when i said hi or bye to her. my husband was in the office once when i said bye to her and she ignored me and he couldnât believe it.Â
all this to say, my new job is very different but the best thing about it is having a good boss.Â
Jeff Goldblum ŠDylan Coulter // ShortList
@strawb3rry-witch
I love him. Heâs such a perfect angel.
The heavens have smiled upon us!

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Sexy Young Dude Chiwetel Ejiofor for Dujour
âTwas Hubris Led Me Here,â Thinks Naked Woman Sitting On Public Toilet With Romper Around Her Ankles
PROVIDENCE, RIâRealizing the depths of her mistake far too late, local woman Alicia Cohen quietly admitted to herself, âTwas hubris led me here,â as she sat naked on a public toilet with her romper around her ankles, sources said Wednesday. âWhat hath my conceit wrought but ruin as I sit naked and discomfited upon this most unclean privy,â said Cohen, shivering upon the womenâs restroom toilet with her one-piece garment pooled at her feet. âVanityâs fool am I! Brought low as dust by folly, low as the once fine fabric that now lies crumpled before mine eyes.â At press time, Cohen was cursing a broken shoe heel and the âcredulous newborn babe undone by faith foul misplaced in an outlet mall.â
Babbling, Grinning Mitch McConnell Demands EMTs Loading Him On Stretcher Vote Yes On Healthcare Bill
WASHINGTONâA crazed grin spreading across his face as his eyes darted wildly from one paramedic to another, sources said Tuesday that a babbling Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell demanded that the EMTs loading him onto a stretcher outside the Capitol vote âYesâ on the Graham-Cassidy healthcare bill. âObamacare is collapsing under its own weight, and the American people have suffered enough under its tyrannyâwe must take action!â shouted McConnell, launching into a speech he had reportedly planned to make on the Senate floor but was now delivering to the two medical technicians strapping his arms to a gurney and preparing to administer an IV. âThe time is now to repeal the Affordable Care Act and replace it with a plan that will cost less and restore freedom to the states! We cannot delay any longer! We cannot delay!â At press time, McConnellâs motion for a roll call vote was muffled by the oxygen mask being placed over his mouth.
New print in the store.
FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZâIn celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaioâs family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally. âWhen we heard the good news, we just knew we had to treat Joe to one of his absolute favorites,â said Arpaioâs wife Ava, who added that the family had made sure to feed only rotten and contaminated food items to the apprehended individual while he was held in a small room in their basement where the temperatures regularly exceeded 100 degrees, explaining that the special little touches were âjust the way Joe likes it.â âIf we had the time, we would have rounded up a few more Latinos who were driving around the area to make it a real tightly packed party down there, but the presidentâs pardon was just so fast and unexpected we had to move quickly. Regardless, I just know Joeâs face will light up when he sees that Mexican guy being kept there indefinitely. Heâs going to be so excited!â At press time, the family was attempting to rouse the weakened and malnourished detainee to have him join them in shouting âsurprise!â

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Disgusted Robert Mueller Eats 2 20-Piece Chicken McNugget Meals In One Sitting In Attempt To Get Into Trumpâs Mind
WASHINGTONâFighting the urge to vomit as he gorged on the deep-fried, processed meat, disgusted special counsel Robert Mueller reportedly ate two McDonaldâs 20-piece Chicken McNugget meals in one sitting on Tuesday in an attempt to get into President Trumpâs mind. âTo understand him, I must become him,â said Mueller, retching as he peeled back the lid of his eighth BBQ sauce container and dipping his 29th consecutive McNugget in the tangy condiment, an ordeal he said was the only way to truly inhabit the psyche of Donald Trump and discover âwhat makes him tick.â âI just have to keep pushing myself if Iâm to have any hope at all of comprehending this manâs thought process. However unpleasant it may be, no matter how nauseated I may feel, I have no choice but to dunk another wad of French fries into this M&M McFlurry.â At press time, a infuriated Mueller was pounding his fists and shouting, âWho are you, dammit!â as he drank down another large KFC gravy.
Rufus Sewell
By Bryan Adams
(via x)