ᯓ𑣲 MAYA .⟡ ݁⋆

Natasha unlocks the front door to the apartment she’d moved into with you five years ago. Your relationship had been going well at the time and you’d hinted more than once that you’d like to take things a step further. Eventually Natasha had relented, agreeing to move out of the Avengers compound into an apartment with you. It was small, none of the windows closed properly so there was always a draught, and every so often the shower randomly leaked with no rhythm or reason, but it had quickly become home. Natasha loved looking around and seeing pieces of you everywhere. Books strewn across the floor, the necklace you always wore left absentmindedly by the kitchen sink, your cardigan thrown over the back of a chair.

You’d gotten married two years ago, and Natasha couldn’t be happier. Marriage had always been something Natasha thought she wouldn’t experience. Even when she escaped the Red Room she’d figured, who could love someone as broken as her? You could, apparently. You were Natasha’s everything, and she was so glad she’d found you.

Maybe it’s because she’s been feeling so safe lately but Natasha doesn’t immediately notice anything out of place. It’s only when she’s kicked off her shoes that she notices the overturned coffee table, your plant pot broken with the soil spilt across the floor. You weren’t always the tidiest person around but Natasha knows if you’d bumped into it, you wouldn’t have just left it like that. This looked almost like-

“Baby?” Natasha calls out. “Are you home?”

There’s music playing in the living room and Natasha recognises it as Tchaikovsky, the ‘Swan Lake’ soundtrack. Why would you be listening to that? It’s playing loudly and it gets quieter as she creeps slowly down the corridor, and as the music quietens she begins to hear the sound of panicked sobs, and a voice calling her name. Your voice.

The moment Natasha steps into the living room someone kicks her in the leg, knocking her off her feet. Before she can react a series of punches get thrown on her, several to her face, and several to her stomach, disorienting her completely. Natasha tries to scramble to her feet, to reach for her weapon but two women grab her arms, pulling them behind her back. She squirms weakly in their grip, her alarmed gaze searching the room, finally landing on you.

You’re tied to one of the dining chairs, tears streaming down your cheeks, blood everywhere, your face battered and bruised as you let out pained pants through your tears. On either side of you stand two people Natasha remembers well, no matter how hard she wants to forget them. Madame B, her supervisor from the Red Room, and Dreykov, the man who’d put her there. Holding her back are presumably two Widow’s, and on either side of Madame B and Dreykov are four more Widow’s, each of them expressionless.

“What are you doing?” Natasha asks, thrashing in the grip of the women holding her. “What are you doing to her?”

Nobody answers her. Madame B turns back to you and you whimper, trying to squirm away from her touch as she presses a knife to your throat. Natasha thrashes harder, reaching desperately for you, “Don’t do this! Leave her alone, please, please, leave her alone-”

Natasha tries to scream but her words are coming out croaked, like her voice is slowly disappearing. She’s panicking now, so desperate to get to you. What are they doing here? How did they find her? Why are they targeting you? Questions fly through Natasha’s head but she tries to push them away, focusing on you, pulling desperately in the grip of the Widow’s but they hang on, and she’s still disoriented from the punches. For a moment she’s certain the Widow standing behind Dreykov is Yelena, when she blinks she turns into Melina, another blink and it’s Natasha herself. She shakes her head, mumbling desperately, “No, no, no, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening…”

Dreykov smiles, gesturing with his head, and Madame B drags the knife across your throat, blood beginning to pour out like a fountain. Your eyes are wide as you look towards Natasha, unable to speak as you cough and splutter, blood spilling out of your mouth. Natasha’s crying now, trying her best to scream over and over again, “No! No, please! Please! Not her! I’ll do anything, please! Please-”

But it’s too late and Natasha knows it. Your horrified gaze remains on her until your eyes glaze over, your expression stuck in permanent terror as your body slumps awkwardly in the chair, held up now only by the ropes. Dreykov turns to Natasha and she shakes her head, stammering over her words and her tears. You’re gone. Why did they do this to you? Natasha doesn’t care what happens to her now, you were her only reason for waking up in the morning, and now you’re gone, you’re gone-

Natasha bolts awake, sitting upright in bed and panting heavily. The bedroom is dark and for a moment she’s completely disoriented. Natasha reaches over to switch on the bedside lamp, her breathing coming out in erratic pants as she looks around the room. Finally her gaze lands on you and she chokes back a sob. You’re lying next to her, fast asleep, and before Natasha can think about what she’s doing she shakes your shoulder roughly, “Y/N! Y/N!”

You wake up with a start, looking up at her with wide eyes, “Wha- What?”

“Oh- Y/N…”

Natasha pulls you upright and into her arms, crying into your shoulder. For a moment you’re irritated by the sudden wakeup call but when you realise Natasha’s crying you instantly soften, wrapping your own arms around her.  You know Natasha better than anyone but you’ve only seen her cry twice, and both times she’d left the room immediately so you wouldn’t see. This is the very first time she’s allowed herself to cry so openly. “I thought there was a house fire for a minute,” You tease softly, your own heart pounding in your chest. “But I guess there must’ve been another reason that you woke me up.”

Natasha doesn’t reply and that’s when you feel her shaking, her hands digging into the fabric of the baggy t-shirt you wear to sleep in. You try to pull back to look at her but she hangs on, desperate to hold onto you, so you relent, letting her just hold you if that’s what she wants. Her breathing is still coming out in erratic pants, so you rub your hand up and down her back, mumbling, “Hey... Nat, baby, it’s okay… Everything’s okay…”

Natasha can’t speak, letting out a gulping sob as she presses a shaky kiss to your forehead, letting herself feel that you’re safe and that more importantly, you’re alive. Eventually she pulls back to look at you, cupping your cheek in her hand, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I was just asleep. Are you okay?”

Natasha suddenly pulls away, grabbing her sidearm that she keeps in the bedside drawer and creeping into the hallway. You start to say her name but Natasha holds up a finger to silence you, so you quieten, letting her do whatever she feels she needs to do. Natasha checks every room of the small apartment, every possible hiding spot until she’s satisfied that there’s no one else there. She checks the front door is definitely locked before heading back to bed and pulling you into her arms again.

You reach up to gently wipe a tear on her cheek, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You were dead.” Just saying the words out loud makes Natasha sob again, and your expression softens, kissing her tearstained cheek. “I couldn’t do anything, I was- I couldn’t save you, God, I couldn’t save you-”

“I’m fine. Okay? Nothing happened, it was just a bad dream.”

“It was worse than a bad dream, it was… Fuck, it was so real. You were-” Natasha lets out a shaky breath, leaning her forehead against yours. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought I’d fucking lost you.”

You tilt your head to press a slow, loving kiss to her lips, and mumble, “I’m right here. Nothing’s gonna happen to me-”

“You don’t know that,” Natasha says urgently. “I wasn’t there to protect you and they got the upper hand and then I couldn’t- I couldn’t-”

“Nat, baby, it wasn’t real. I don’t know what happened but it was just a bad dream.”

“What if it wasn’t though?” Natasha sobs. “This apartment isn’t the most secure and I worry about you here all by yourself while I’m away on missions. Anything could happen and if I- If I lost you, I don’t know if I could- I wouldn’t be able to-”

You consider her words for a moment, your fingers gently running over her cheek, wiping away a tear that slips down, “What would make you feel better?”

Natasha hesitates, swallowing down another sob as she tries to get a hold of her emotions. What would make her feel better? “I- I want to teach you basic self defence.”

“Okay.”

“What, you’re going to agree just like that?”

“I’d agree to anything if it made you feel better. Besides, I’ve wanted to learn for a while, I’d rather get taught by you.”

“And I want to install a security system,” Natasha says. “I’m not even asking the landlord, I’m just gonna do it.”

“We’re not getting our deposit back, are we?”

“You’re more important to me.”

You meet her gaze, seeing the way she’s looking at you. Her eyes are red, her eyelashes glistening as another tear trickles down her flushed cheek. It’s the most vulnerable you’ve ever seen her and you know it’s rare. A sign that she trusts you. It’s only taken her six years of being together, two of them in which you’ve been married. You kiss her teary cheek again, “You’re important to me too. Okay? And if I have to take all the self defence courses in New York, start carrying pepper spray, have the fanciest, most expensive security system that money can buy, then I will. Anything to make you feel better.”

Natasha sniffles, looking down at the bed, “I know I’m being a lot right now-”

“No, you’re being real, and I appreciate it. I love you.”

“I love you more,” Natasha replies without hesitation. “I still shouldn’t have cried.”

“It’s okay to cry, you know?” You say gently, tucking a strand of her red hair behind her ear. “It’s not a weakness, it’s just… Having a good cry makes me feel better. Do you know how many times a day I sneak to the bathroom at work to have a little cry?”

“That often? Do you like… Need help?”

“Okay, it’s not that often but sometimes things get on top of you and crying does help.” You cup her cheek with your hand again, your voice dropping quieter, “I know you didn’t cry as a kid. I know what they said to you, what they did to you if you cried… But you’re not there anymore, you’re here with me. And if you need to cry then you can just cry.”

“You’re my soulmate, you know that?” Natasha says with a small, tearful smile. “You’re the only person I fully trust.”

“What about Clint?”

“I trust Clint with my life but I trust you with my emotions.”

You smile, unable to resist kissing her cheek again. Her breathing has calmed somewhat and you run your fingers through her hair, before pressing a kiss to her forehead this time, “Do you wanna stay up a bit longer? We could put a movie on, just for some background noise and cuddle for a bit.”

Natasha hadn’t even realised that was what she needed until you suggested it. You know her even better than she knows herself sometimes. She nods mutely, cuddling into your side as you scroll through Netflix looking for something comforting to watch. Her arm snakes around your waist and she presses a kiss to your neck, “I’m sorry, I know you have work in the morning-”

“It’s one night of slightly broken sleep, I’m sure I’ll survive. Besides, I’d choose cuddles with you over sleep anytime.”

Natasha kisses you again as you finally settle on ‘Mean Girls’, an old comfort film you both enjoy. Natasha relaxes as the familiar opening begins to play and you wrap your arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She’s still on edge from her nightmare but the movie combined with your comforting presence helps to soothe her. You run your fingers through her hair and she sighs, loving when you do that. If anyone else tried to touch her hair she’d slap them, but you’re different. Your touch relaxes her and she feels a rush of love and gratitude for you.

“Maybe hook up with someone, have a one-night stand, y’know, to forget about her.” You scowled at her remark, choosing instead to down the half-empty drink you’d been nursing the entire night. It felt like the more you drank, the more you thought about her. Her annoyingly entrancing auburn hair that clung perfectly to her heated face when she was just a little ticked off. Her idiotic metal rings that wrapped deliciously around irritatingly immaculate slender fingers. Stupid, stupid, Wanda, and her stupid, stupid disgustingly charming personality. Your thesaurus of internally monologued insults was interrupted by a clink on the bar counter behind you. 

“Thank you,” you muttered to your friend, hands meeting the shot glass immediately. 

“It’s on me tonight. You know you need it,” she grinned, “I can’t remember the last time you came out drinking with us! Finally you’re free from that witch, and how she managed to keep you locked up for so long is beyond me.” Free is the last word you would choose to describe yourself right now. The only thing you’re free from is the physicality of said ‘witch,’ she still mentally plagued your mind and claimed your feelings. 

“Yeah, thank god,” you joked, lightly, trying to disguise your depressive yearning as irritation. You didn’t mean it, of course. You would trade everything in the world for one more night with her. Too bad you had snapped on your last 2 love-sick years and stormed out of the room with a “fine, we’re done.” Part of you blamed your friends; if they hadn’t ‘convinced’ you that your relationship was unhealthy, that Wanda was taking advantage of you, too old for you, isolating you, you wouldn’t have had the false bravado to blow up in her face. You didn’t want to think about that, or her, for any longer, swinging your head back to down your second drink, and first shot, of the night.

“Let’s dance, help me take my mind off her,” you shouted over the music, pulling yourself and your friend off the high-stools and into the kaleidoscope of lights. She giggled and joined you willingly, swaying with the melody. Whatever was in that glass she had ordered started to sink into your bloodstream, and the constant movement did not help. You weren’t a lightweight–at least you thought—but it had been a while since you had alcohol without Wanda, and she never let you have anything too strong. The shot forced a weird latency effect in your vision, the ends of it obfuscating as you turned. Movement blur, paired with the same hammering headache you arrived with did not make the dancing easier. You muttered something about needing another beverage for the ‘nerves,’ and your friend gladly complied.

After a while, you lost count of how many drinks you’d had tonight, but no matter how many you’d accept, the sluggish, surfacing feeling of missing your girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—kept rising. Knowing your friends would try to stop you if you told them about your ‘plan,’ you mumbled about needing to use the restroom, and slipped away quietly. Closing the bathroom door drowned part of the lyrics swimming through your mind, but the pounding bass line remained. Your phone had already met your palm when you paused; before you slammed the door in your face, Wanda had thrown a snarky, one-off line about how you’d “always need her,” and “wouldn’t last a day without calling her.” You had scoffed at her at the time, but right now, it couldn’t be more true; however, you had definitely had too much to drink, and your faux brazenness didn’t allow you to hit her contact—yet. It was for the better this way. You knew Wanda would laugh in your face if you had called her here, mocking you for your clinginess and want for her, even after she “treated you like she owned you” and “took away all your agency.” When you said those words to her, for the same second it takes someone to realize their hand is on a scalding pan, her face had crumbled; after that split-moment, she had given you an exasperated glare and built her mask back up. You couldn’t focus on the memory of what happened after, because the maddening music had seeped back in through the open door. The song plaguing the air had switched from the club EDM to a more pestilential rave scene vibe, and your friend had come looking for you. 

“Oh my god, why were you taking so long?” She questioned, dropping her bag on the sink counter and coming up to you. You grimaced at the loud clank of her belongings scattering on the surface.

“Shit,” she muttered, hurriedly picking up a round hand mirror making its way to a descent that would most certainly shatter it. You busied your hands by helping her clean up, mumbling a sorry at her previous comment. 

“I thought you had started your period, or something, that's why I brought all this,” she conceded, gesturing to her bag with various objects sporadically being placed back inside. You should be thankful for friends like her, willing to put up with your years of self-blackballing and rejection of plans extended for you. Here she is, still supporting you, paying for drinks. It’s not like you’d never accept their invitations; it’s just the times you would, Wanda would always pick you up early, or make up an excuse for why you couldn’t attend—with the amount of ‘doctor’s visits’ you had been at this past year, people should think of you as chronically ill with an incurable disorder. 

Speaking of Wanda, your lips pursed as you confessed, “No, I was going to sneak away and call someone.” You could practically feel her eyes rolling when you mentioned it. With both of you drunk, your friend had held an air of brashness, justifying her next remark. 

“She treated you like her little pet, you can’t be hung up on her anymore.” While this analysis of your relationship—past relationship—would have hurt you in any other context, tonight the only thing you wanted to be was ‘her little pet.’ Actually, the more you think about it, the more irritated it makes you. Your friend was right, how could you still be hung up on her? She’d control your outfits, relationships, and even jobs. You hadn’t lived for yourself these past 2 years. To be fair, it wasn’t that bad, she paid for anything you could have wanted, and you didn’t actually need to work since she handled your mortgage bills, student loans, and everything else. She loved you, cared for you, and never put anything above you. Wait. There it was again. That perpetual voice in your head that needed to defend her, always. It was almost like Wanda had planted a replica of herself in your own thoughts, always convincing you to submit to her, never disobey her, listen to her. Whatever; tonight that changed. You had already broken one of her “rules,” evident by the booze that tainted your breath and mind, might as well break them all.

“Remember what you mentioned earlier?” you goaded, looking up at your friend with a maniacal look. She grinned, quickly catching on to your, probably impractical, idea. The two of you left the bathroom, skipping with glee. 

It had been easy to get into bed with someone; perhaps your flirting skills needed work, yes, but their levels sufficed enough for a one-nighter. Was it a little irresponsible of them to let you leave with a stranger while absolutely hammered? Sure, but you had all been a little too intoxicated to think right, and you assured them you’d be okay. Drunken lips met, and your bodies folded into each other. There was a possibility, you thought as your hands gripped fiery strands, that you chose to approach this particular stranger because of her close resemblance to a certain someone. Your friend had eyed you and pointed out the resemblance, but you shrugged her off, calling her dramatic; maybe you should have listened to her at the time. Now, all you could think about were the similarities; her overzealous look, burgundy hair, and husky tone. Her hands on you, in you, lifting a haze over your mind. When you reached your peak, you were ashamed to admit how much it caused you to miss Wanda; thank god your face had been buried in a pillow, or else your mystery partner would’ve probably been disappointed to hear you moaning another’s name. 

You had left the bed as soon as you felt slow rises and falls in your mystery partner’s chest; you felt a little remorse for ditching, but it was a game both of you had signed up for: one-night, no questions, no feelings. Zipping up the same jean shorts that were hastily torn off of you just a few hours prior, and brushing your hair with her comb, you pried open the bedroom door quietly. Your eyes scanned the room, landing on the couch. You walked over to where you had lost your bra and top before you made it onto the mattress. That restless, expeditious hunger reminded you of Wanda, and you caught yourself smiling fondly. The drunken stupidity in your mind had nestled itself into a faint buzz, still leaving your head floating and a little empty. Before you could register your instinctual reflex, your hand started to dial a number you were all too familiar with. 

“Hello?” Her tone was sharp and annoyed. You froze. You didn’t expect her to answer so quickly, especially at 2 in the morning, and you also didn’t expect yourself to call her right after the event that was supposed to help you forget about her. Still, you tried to justify your own actions to yourself, blaming it on the bottomless drinks paid for by your friends. 

“Wan- mommy,” you whispered. You knew that title was her weak point, and she softened on the other line, but stayed persistent. 

“Why are you calling me this late?” She scoffed. She already knew the answer, of course. Wanda had been stalking your location all night, waiting for a call to appear on her phone; a few months ago she installed a GPS tracker on your phone, which you have since forgotten about. This was the type of controlling behavior your friends complained about, but you never took their warnings to heart. When you had mentioned it to her, Wanda told you they were just jealous, and what were you to do if not believe her? 

“‘m sorry.” The demeanor she held made your mind fuzzy; you never could stand to be bad when your mommy was disappointed in you. 

You could hear a sigh on the other line, and then finally, “Don’t go anywhere, I’m coming to pick you up.” Your body felt warm at her demand, humming a barely audible agreement. 

You had bundled yourself up in your jacket and a random throw blanket scavenged from the stranger’s apartment—hopefully they wouldn’t miss it—and fell asleep against a fire hydrant. When the familiar rumble of Wanda’s corvette approached the side of the street, you jolted awake. 

“I didn’t know mommy’s girl was this stupid. Why didn’t you stay inside, baby?” she chastised, coming around the front of her car to squeeze your chin up at her. As much as she hated seeing your blinking dot in some random apartment, she would’ve much preferred you stay warm. You sneezed in response, and blinked at her, dumbly. Her infantilization of you, paired with the high you were still coming off of, brought you to a space where only half your senses were present. 

“I can’t say I expected this of you, baby,” she murmured, pulling you into the car. “I thought my sweet girl would come straight back to mommy, especially after that big fit you threw.” 

Your head tilted a little, trying to wrap your head around what Wanda was saying to you.

“Is this who my little girl is now, hmm?” Her condescending stare, eyes narrowed as if she were scolding a child, make you melt even further into yourself. “A drunk slut, whoring yourself out to some random bitch, and then having to call mommy to clean up your mess?”

“No, mommy, please,” you begged for her forgiveness, wrapping your body around her free arm. You hadn’t stopped to question how she knew the details of your night. She yanked her arm out from you with such startling force, causing your head to hit the wheel. 

“Mommy,” your eyes welled up, "I'm sorry, please, I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

“Don’t go around making promises you can’t keep, baby.” 

“Please, anything,” you bat your eyes at her. At this point, you were just saying anything to get her to soften up, pawing at her arm again. This time she let you fit your fingers between hers, rubbing circles into the back of your hand, while her other hand turned the wheel.

“The first thing you’re gonna do is shut that whiny little mouth of yours. Then, when we get back home, you’re gonna take a nice long bath and go to sleep.” Even when she was mad at you, she could be so considerate. You should’ve never listened to your friends when they told you Wanda was bad for you. How could she be, when she took such care for you? You decided, on your own, that you were going to cut them off as soon as you woke up in the morning. When you verbalized this to Wanda—to the best of your ability—she cooed and stroked your thigh. 

“I knew my good girl was still in there.” Your face heated at her compliment, and you buried your face in her shoulder. It was quiet on the way home with you half-asleep and Wanda at the wheel. She occasionally peppered little kisses on your hand, murmuring words you couldn’t make out.

When you got home, the porch light had been left on—proof of Wanda’s hasty actions. She had been so worried about you, watching your location move to a foreign building. It had been a miracle that she hadn’t driven immediately there, but she knew her little girl would come back to her; you just got lost along the way. Getting you in the house had been easy, but getting you in the shower was another story. When she managed to haul you over to the tub, you fell limp against her, unhelpful and unmoving. 

“Baby. Mommy’s very mad at you right now. Don’t make it worse.” You huffed at her, opening one eye against the bright fluorescent light of her bathroom. Sluggishly, you climbed in the tub, still fully dressed. You still couldn’t believe that she had answered your call, without a second thought; you take her for granted too much. 

“Strip,” Wanda ordered, raising an eyebrow. You pouted at her, raising your arms for her. She rolled her eyes at your childishness, pulling your shirt over your head and your shorts down your legs. When she unclipped your bra, you covered your arms over your chest, bashfully. Wanda slapped them away. 

“How many times have I seen you naked, sweetheart?” she lectured, moving on to shimmy your panties down your thighs. Your cheeks glowed. As she slid them down, she could see a pool of want string down with them. 

“Fucking slut,” she said, biting her lip. You whined at her words, crossing your legs to hide yourself. You were ashamed; ashamed at your choices from earlier, and ashamed at how much you craved her inevitable punishment.

“I’ll deal with you in a bit,” Wanda said pointedly. The way she spoke to your pussy like you weren’t there made the pressure in your thighs grow, uncomfortably so. 

“Mommy,” you groaned, rubbing your legs together. 

“Stop that,” Wanda scolded, squeezing your thigh to freeze your movements. She started the shower, with her still fully dressed. It made you flush even more, knowing you were fully exposed for her. 

“Can you shower by yourself, or do you need your mommy to do that for you too?” She mocked, manhandling you into the cold water. You gasped out the title you had been repeating all night, jumping at the sudden cold. Your nipples pebbled when the droplets met them, a reaction that Wanda did not miss. She slid her hand from your thighs, trailing them up your body to your breasts. Her hand squeezed and tightness of her grip made you whimper. Her other hand, now free after turning on the water, floated to the body wash, pumping the silky product onto her palm. 

“Mommy needs to make sure my sweet girl is all clean, okay?” she spoke, condescendingly, “stay still, baby.” She brought her palm down to your icky center, and using the body wash as lube—not that you needed any help in that department; you were soaking wet, and not from the shower—Wanda pushed three fingers into you at once, causing you to gasp and stand on your tippy toes to get away from the stretch. She pushed you down with her free hand, until your feet were back on the ground, shushing you. When you settled onto her fingers, she began pumping, massaging your cute perky breasts at the same time. You held the back of your hand against your mouth, muffling your melodious moans.

“Don’t do that,” she snapped, “I want to hear your pathetic sounds.” You complied, a bit embarrassed at the reflexive way you listened to her. The body wash gave her “inspection” of your pussy a little sting to it, and every languid thrust made you more and more sensitive. She was being rougher and meaner than usual, and you knew why. It was well warranted treatment, you thought to yourself; Wanda had always been so good to you, but there you were, practically cheating on her with a stranger you had been just a few hours before. And you had cum for someone else, without her permission no less. The guilt overcame you. You didn’t realize you were crying until Wanda’s hands left your chest and core, and cupped your cheeks.

“My sweet girl,” she purred. It was a mystery to how she even realized there were tears, especially because of the water. But Wanda always noticed. You leaned into her touch, babbling out ‘mommys’ and sniffles of apologies. She leaned your head out of the water, shushing you with a kiss. Her lips felt like they were searing hot compared to the shower that had yet to warm up. If you were in the right state of mind, you would’ve realized Wanda set it to that temperature on purpose, to keep your mind uncomfortable, and subsequently moldable. She has you right

where she wants you, pliable, submissive, and needy. You chased her lips when they left you, and she chuckled at your attempt. 

“Let’s finish showering, bunny,” she cooed, washing her hands in the falling water. The rest of your shower went without notability. 

You had passed out right when she finished dressing you in her oversized t-shirt and lacy underwear. Your little snores made her almost forget what she had to be angry at you for. She knew you were just a needy pet; all you did last night was throw a tantrum just for her attention. That was to be expected. What she didn’t expect was for you to actually let someone else touch what was hers. Wanda felt like she deserved reparations for your vehement behavior. And look at you now: freshly showered, adorable lingerie, shirt that lifted just a little too high. You were practically asking for it with your slightly agape mouth, and perfectly laid out hair. Wanda felt like it was justified; your body needed to be claimed again. It was only right. That’s what she told herself as she lifted your thighs, pulling your panties aside. No wonder you were so whiny, your pretty cunt was so worked up all this time. Wanda was only doing you, and her, a favor by taking care of this mess. That was her reasoning behind lowering her mouth on your leaky pink pussy. Her tongue pushed past your entrance, swirling around your insides. She lapped up the wetness you pooled between your legs, humming to herself as she did. A tiny crease formed between your brows as you let out small whimpers in your sleep. 

Fuck, Wanda had missed this taste. Sure, you had only been gone for a night or two, but she would’ve fucked you ten fold in that amount of time. You had been stealing her life source, her reason for living, when you stormed off. It’s only right that she gets to have her way with you now, she justified, as she flicked her tongue into your unconscious form. You were just as sensitive as ever, legs twitching at each swipe. She relieved her right hand of the duty of pushing your thigh apart, and instead brought it down to your soaked entrance. Your hips jutted out just a little, perhaps a cause of your dreams, and she giggled at your eagerness. Even in your sleep, you chased her fingers. When Wanda sunk them into you, she moaned. You were positively soaked, and she ravished in it all being for her. She pumped and curled her fingers with such lewd vigor and divulgence, one could actually believe that she truly did survive off of your pleasure. Your euphonious moans and whimpers bounced around the room, and when she found that spot in you that clenched your abs and squeezed your thighs, she drilled everything she had into it. Like a symphony, your entire body moved up and down to the rhythm of the tempo her fingers set. She didn’t give your clit a break either, licking, sucking, and circling the bundle of nerves until she recognized the contorted look that filled your sleeping face. Then, everything stopped. 

Oh no, she was not about to give her naughty little girl the pleasure of an orgasm, even unconsciously. Wanda had planned to bring you to the edge, over and over again, in your sleep, just so you would be needy and complacent tomorrow morning. And that she did. Every twitch of your thighs, clenching of your abs, and furrowing of your brows, halted her movements. She tightened that coil, again and again, throughout the entire night. At the end, you were so worked up, even a breeze blowing by could give you an orgasm. It was a miracle you hadn’t awoke at any point, and the alcohol definitely played a role. 

Coming morning, your hand had met your eyes, groggily rubbing consciousness into them. A Wanda sized dent was left in the bed, and she was nowhere to be seen. A faint aroma of scrambled eggs and sound of sizzling slowly crept into the room, and you would have been excited at the thought of one of your favorite dishes if it weren’t for the massive ache you had woken up with. Lifting up the edge of your underwear, you could see an ocean of need pooling between your thighs. What could you have possibly dreamt about to warrant this type of reaction? You flung your legs over the side of the bed, scrunching your nose at the feeling of fabric rubbing against your icky area. It was like you had been injected with some kind of chemical that increased your sensitivity exponentially. You slowly made your way to the bathroom, a pair of fresh underwear in tow. Your walk was a little funny, as a result of your attempt to prevent your thighs from rubbing together. It was a pain to clean up, as every swipe sent what felt like electricity jolting through your body. When you finished wiping up your mess, your feet led you towards the ravishing smell, into the kitchen, and your eyes staked their claim on Wanda. 

“Mommy, I’m sorry,” you looked up at her, covering your hands with your face. You felt ashamed caused by memories of last night, and the anger you held for her conjured by your friends dissipating, leaving you with the aftermath of your reactions. She melted at the sight of you, leaning down to pepper little kisses around your forehead. 

“What’s wrong, princess?” She whispered, kissing your ear as she dotted her mouth around. Her breath sent shivers crawling around your spine, leaving goosebumps where they trailed. 

“Need you,” you murmured, pressing into her side. She laughed at your words, hands still occupied on the stove. She had always looked so beautiful doing domestic things for you, like cooking or laundry. You’d usually love making yourself useful in whichever ways you could, but today, you held not the same appetite for helpfulness. 

“Go set the table, baby,” she asked, nodding her head towards the wooden surface. You whined at her request, pulling yourself off of her.

“Please, mommy,” you stomped your feet. Her eyes darkened and she raised an eyebrow.

“Is that how you want to speak to me right now? You’re in a lot of trouble still, silly girl.” Her voice raised in volume, just enough to strike obedience into you. 

“‘m sorry, mommy.”

“That’s what I thought. Do what I asked, sweet girl.” You dragged your feet the whole way to the table, and again whilst laying cutlery, plates, and glasses. Wanda rolled her eyes at your dramatics. 

“Mommy, pleaseee, I really need you,” you begged, a few hours after breakfast. You two had moved to the couch, wrapped around each other with an arbitrarily chosen sitcom in the background. Wanda feigned ignorance at the need between your thighs she knew you were possessing, instead choosing to echo your words from a few nights ago.

“I thought you said I was too much, and that you didn’t need me, baby,” she mocked, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ears. As her fingers floated over, they made just enough contact to melt your mind a little. 

“No, I take it back, mommy,” you whined, “can’t live without you.” You felt, in this moment, that acquiring her attention was akin to your fundamental need of oxygen. Wanda grinned at your admission, leaning in for a kiss. 

“I know,” she mumbled into your lips, and you shifted yourself onto her. 

“Please, let me show you how much I need you,” you whimpered, grinding down, and ruining her sweatpants. Wanda’s eyes glinted, her hand sliding up your shirt, fingers running up your bare stomach before grabbing your breasts with her hands. She pinched one of your erect nipples, rolling it around, watching your body squirm. After she had wound you up last night, almost every part of your body became hypersensitive, confusing you. Wanda, of course, was aware of this. She slapped your chest, playfully, and you gasped at the feeling of her palms rubbing against your nipples as she massaged you harshly. You would’ve fallen against her, had she not been holding you up by your chest; you were practically butter, leaning against her hands, letting her have her way with groping you. Wanda smirked at your pitiful whines and bucking hips, and she knew you felt the hard bulge beneath her sweatpants pressing against you.

“Please, please,” you mewled, any other word escaping your mind. Wanda let you continue to hump against her, her hips pressing her strap purposely up into your clit. Your back arched as you felt it, leaning yourself back against your arms and simultaneously into her. 

“I thought you wanted to watch a show, baby,” Wanda teased, turning your head towards the television by squeezing your chin with her free hand, the other still palming your chest. With your face flushed and eyes screwed shut, you could feel yourself getting wetter and more embarrassed at her words. 

“No, mommy, please, want you,” you moaned, hips already begging for release. She rolled her eyes at your need, bringing her hands down on your hips to force pressure into your nerves. You groaned, as your sensitive cunt tightened around an ache of nothingness. A part of you felt anger towards your past self; if you had not gotten so indignantly enraged at Wanda over what your friends had told you, she wouldn’t be so virulent to you now and you would be in a more propitious situation. As the coil in your tummy spiraled, slews of ‘please’s and ‘mommy’s began escaping your mouth; your hands came around to Wanda’s shoulders, and she could tell you were close. 

“You’re pathetic, sweetie,” she spat, “Fucking slut, whining about how you don’t need me, then coming back and begging for me to let you cum?” The visible flush on your face multiplied, if such a thing could even happen; her words left you fuzzy, and she forced your attention onto her with a sharp squeeze of your thigh, looking into your eyes which were glassy from the fusion of pleasure and humiliation that occupied your empty little head. “I haven’t even touched you down there, princess. What’s got you so worked up?”

Your words die in your gaping mouth and reincarnate as helpless whimpers. Your head was filled with only one thing, and Wanda loved to see you squirming to reach it; she knew you wouldn’t have the capacity to answer her purposefully loaded questions. It’s not like she needed the answer anyway, she hadn’t forgotten about the hours she spent winding you up like a toy, not letting you reach your zenith even once. When you didn’t answer her in adequate time, she released your face, slapping the side of it a little.

“Mommy’s little doll can’t be that dumb yet,” she mocked, pressing you even harder against her ruined pants. You pouted at her words, shaking your head childishly. She laughed at the display, pinching your cheeks. You buried your face into her, leaving breathy whines against her neck, begging for your impending release. The faster you grinded into her, the higher you climbed, but you knew cumming without her permission now would be a death sentence. 

“Mommy, need to cum please,” you spluttered out in one breath, not trusting yourself to take a long pause in between each word. It was getting harder and harder to form coherent verbal expressions, and Wanda relished these dopey babblings. She pressed you further down onto her, encouraging you to rut into her with fervent urge. Wanda had to stop for a moment, just to admire you; bare, rolling hips against, exposed nipples hardening to perfect peaks in the air, your eyes, half-lidded, glassy and full of desire. Your need for her was intoxicating, and her fingertips traveled down her chest, trailing between the valley of your breasts and over the curve of your clenching stomach. You arched into her touch with closed eyes, releasing a whimper of pure and absolute pleasure. 

“Go ahead, baby, show mommy how much you want me.”

With her consent, a breathy, prolonged cry escaped from the rope of desire that snapped inside you, letting you fall from your compulsive hunger; it felt like you had been thrown over a mountainside that had rivaled the heights of Olympus, soaring through the sky to land into the arms of your lover. Your hands dug into her shoulders, causing little crescent shapes to embed into her skin. Wanda reached around your back, nestling her hand in between sweaty strands of your hair. She pulled back softly, bringing your face to hers. It drove her mad, to think about you with another; she met your lips with indignation, leaving sloppy, open-mouth kisses to claim your shaking form. Your hips slowed, almost to a halt if it were not for the sporadic jolts of aftershocks from your orgasm. 

Wanda stilled your hips, pressing her hands around you. You had expected her to bring you down carefully, peppering little kisses around your face, praising you, like she always did. Unfortunately for you, she was not in that kind of mood. Instead, reaching under you, she flipped the band of her drenched sweatpants down, revealing her strap. In one swift moment, before your dumb, empty little brain could even register what was happening, she pulled your panties to the side and her cock into your hole. You squeaked when she pushed into you halfway, crying out and crumpling forward onto her. The feeling of her length engulfed your senses entirely, forcing your focus to one burning point of desire. 

“W-Wanda, wait, stop,” you whined, complaints muffed by her chest, “it’s too much.”

“Mommy,” she corrected with a hiss against your cheek, “isn’t done yet.” 

“Mommy,” you sobbed, grabbing to cling to her arms, or to anything really, as she sank herself further into you. Your stature crumbles under the weight of her looming desire, unable to produce even a single thought as you lose yourself to the sensation of her. 

“You’ll take what I give you, baby,” she hissed, “This is what you asked for, isn’t it?” You nodded, biting your lip and looking up at her through fear pricked eyelashes, fully resting on her hilt. Her hands moved to position both of you upright. Now, your hands were shaking on her shoulders, and hers gripping on your hips. She set an awful starting pace, lifting you up and down her cock, each impact grinding the straps base into her clit. You had whimpered at each movement, feeling fuller than you had ever felt before. Your head lolled forward, onto her shoulder, hiding your flush from her. In this position, your cute whimpers traveled straight into Wanda’s ears, fueling her need even more. It would be a tragedy to compare anything to the sweet heat of your aching cunt clenching around her. 

“Slower please, mommy,” you pleaded, trying to push her hands off your waist. She trapped your wrists behind your lower back, with one hand, while the other guided your hips to roll at a faster pace. “Don’t fucking fight me, baby. You don’t get to, not after that fit you threw. Just be a good girl, and let mommy use your tight little pussy.” 

You whined at her vulgarity, leaning further into her, now fully supported by her shoulders. Willing everything in yourself to be a good girl and take your mommy’s cock, you start to move your hips with her hand. You sat at the precipice of pain and ecstasy, pleasure building inside of you as your walls cave in on Wanda’s length. It truly felt as if you were being split into two, and, to the best of your ability, you voiced your concerns to Wanda. 

“Too much, it hurts mommy, please stop,” you spluttered, gasping and screwing your eyes together tightly at the intense discomfort that disguised itself in pleasure. 

“Mommy will decide when it’s too much for you, baby,” Wanda hissed. You had no choice but to accept her decree, but still let out a whine in complaint. She bucked up a little harsher in response. Wanda’s hand released your arms, trailing around your waist and across your tummy to grope at your bouncing breasts harshly and callously. You deserved a worse punishment, in her opinion, leaving her and running away to slut yourself off to some whore at a bar; she bet you never even caught the stranger’s name, but shit, did you feel addicting. Lost in her own thoughts formed by the synthesis of her outrage and craving, she pushed you over, onto your back to reach a deeper part of you. From on top, she was able to thrust harder with more fervor. Your wanton moans echo around the room, hands gripping the material beneath you. The slick sound of sex and the stringing stickiness of your mixed fluids would have embarrassed you in another mindset, but now, you were just as lost in the desire as Wanda was; the intoxicating feeling of intimacy overwhelmed your senses. Each plunge of herself into you loosened your cunt until there was barely any resistance; as you became accustomed to her size, your whines grew lewdly in volume. With your clammy hands, you clung to her, and every time your pussy took her to her hilt, you let out little whines, raking your nails across her back. Your mind felt higher than any drug could have ever taken you, pleasure obscuring any real thought you might have mustered up. She dropped to lean on her elbows, trapping you between her forearms. 

“My cute brainless fucktoy, aren’t you?” Wanda cooed into your ear, and you nodded your head into her neck; you would've nodded at anything she said, incapable of much else in that moment. Wanda’s breathy moans had picked up their frequency, and you knew she was grinding against the strap’s base as she fucked you; the thought of her using you as just an object for her own pleasure caused your cunt to tense around her, your wetness seeping out between the two of you. “My sweet girl, you feel so tight,” she muttered from behind you, hands fitting themselves around your waist, using your hips as leverage to rut into you rougher. The feeling of her desperate desire rivaled any other, and you felt as if she were trying to melt her soul into yours. Pleasure ran wild in your bloodstream and nerves, firing like crazy, random, and then surging back to one pure point as she rounded your hip to draw circles against your clit. You could hear a gasp, distantly, not quite sure if it was yours from pleasure or hers from the shock of your wetness; your muscles gathered and trembled in transfixed purpose, her fingers and cock prying moan after moan from your lips. You could feel the familiar coil in your tummy, tightening once again, stronger than it had ever before; Wanda could feel the same. 

“Gonna cum again, mommy,” you cried, as you buried your face into the side of her arm. Your forehead pressed against her, and you melted into the light bounce of the couch beneath the two of you. Wanda’s grunts collected against the side of your head as she grew ever closer to her own high. Without uttering a single word, she met your lips again, pressing into passionately. Your mouths locked together, burning, blissful, and mind-numbing. It had felt like a kiss for an eternity, void of time or oxygen. When she pulled away, your steamy, half-lidded stare incited a deep, fervent need within her. You could feel the bruise on your cervix forming as her tempo increased. You knew she was closing in on her climax, and you wanted nothing more than to feel the fall with her. You stammered out incomplete words, in an attempt to declare your proximity to your orgasm. 

The multiverse, and everything in it, ceased to exist in the very moment Wanda’s permission whispered into your ear.

Your legs wrapped around her tightly, and then it washed over you like a wave crashing onto the shore. As you came down from your peak, the wave pulled back, dragging the pleasure out from your core into every limb, every hair on your body, all the way out to your fingertips. The same gratification sank through Wanda, relief from the ache building in her center caused white-hot pleasure to blind her vision. She plummeted from her apex, hands gripping the cushions below you. 

When you both came to, tangled around each other, heavy breathing, and spent bodies, Wanda smiled at you. The love you felt for her in that moment was physically painful, and you brought your hands up to melt into another kiss. “My sweet girl, I love you,” Wanda murmured into your lips, as she fell into your embrace. 

Your life, soul, body, and mind belonged to her, and her alone. You’d never leave her side again.

It howled between buildings, sharp and restless, tugging at her clothes, and hair, as if the city was trying to pull her back—or push her forward.

Natasha doesn’t look down.

She learned long ago that looking down makes things… real. 

Final. 

The bandages were a quiet thing. The fading lines beneath them, quieter. She felt the weight of the white fabric every time she moved, every time she exhaled.

She watches the horizon—steady, controlled, like everything else she’s ever done. The skyline stretched endlessly.

The traffic hummed below.

Everything felt far away.

Muted.

Manageable.

Her breathing was even.

Too even to be standing on a ledge.

The edge of the building sat just beneath her booth. One shift of weight—barely anything—and gravity would take over.

Not hesitation.

No second chances.

Simple.

Her phone felt heavier than any weapon she’s ever held.

She almost doesn’t press call.

Her thumb hovers the screen of a number she didn’t recognize.

Didn’t remember saving.

Didn’t remember needing.

She exhales sharply through her nose, like she’s bracing for impact.

It rings once.

Twice.

Then—

‘’Hey. I’m here.’'

Your voice isn’t scripted. It isn’t overly bright or rehearsed either.

Just… there.

Soft.

Grounding.

Like you’re sitting across from her instead of miles away.

Natasha doesn’t speak.

She swallows.

Nothing comes out.

She’s faced gods. Monsters. Entire armies.

But this?

It pins her in place.

You don’t rush to fill the silence.

You hear her breathing, and that’s enough for now.

‘’I can stay on the line,’’ you add gently a moment later. ‘’You don’t have to say anything yet.’'

There’s no pressure in it.

No expectation.

Just presence.

Her grip tightens on the phone.

‘’…You’re not going to ask where I am?’’ she finally says, voice low, almost edged.

‘’I can,’’ you reply. ‘’But I don’t need to, if that makes it harder.’’

That makes her pause.

People always need something.

Information.

Control.

A way in.

But you didn’t.

‘’…Why’d you pick up?’’ she asks.

A small exhale on your end—almost like a quiet smile she can’t see.

‘’Because you called.’'

It lands somewhere deeper than she expects.

The city continues to hums beneath her, distant and irrelecant. For a second—just a second—it feels like the world has narrowed down to a single thread: your voice in her ear.

No judgement. No fear.

Just… steady.

‘’You sound tired,’’ you say after a while, softer now.

Not prying.

Not diagnosing.

Just noticing.

Natasha lets out a breath that isn’t quite a laugh.

‘’You have no idea.’'

‘’Maybe not,’’ you admit. ‘’But you don’t have to carry it by yourself right now.’'

Something in her chest shifts. Not fixed. Not healed.

But… less alone.

She sinks down, slowly, carefully, until the edge isn’t right under her toes anymore.

Still there, though.

Just… not calling to her the same way.

‘’You still with me?’'

‘’…Yeah,’’ she murmurs.

Natasha looks around, spotting a sunbed.

She quietly walks over.

It's colder than she expected.

She leans back into it anyway, one hand wrapped around her phone like it might disappear if she loosens her grip.

The sky softens. Gold bleeding into orange, then something quieter.

She exhales softly.

You’re still there, waiting. Listening. And the faint sound of your breathing, steady and human.

It’s disarming.

‘’I moved,’’ she says after a while, almost like she’s testing the words.

There’s a small shift on your end, fabric brushing, like you’ve settled in more comfortably.

‘’That makes me glad,’’ you answer, gentle—no sudden brightness, no overwhelming relief. Just something warm and real.

Your voice does something strange to her. It doesn’t push. It doesn’t pull.

It stays.

‘’...I don’t know why I called,’’ Natasha admits, quieter now.

‘’It can be hard to reach out,’’ you say softly, as if it’s coming from a place of understanding.

A pause. Then, just as gently:

‘’…You always like this?’’ Natasha asks before she can stop herself.

‘’Like what?’’ you reply, a hint of a smile still tucked into your voice.

‘’Calm,’’ she says. ‘’Most people would be—‘’ she gestures vaguely, even though you can’t see it, ‘’—louder. By now.’'

You hum lightly, considering.

‘’I don’t think loud helps much,’’ you say. ‘’I’d rather meet you where you are.’'

There it is again.

That choice.

Natasha’s shoulders drop a fraction, tension she didn’t even clock loosening in the slow, careful increments.

‘’…It’s been a long time since I felt like this.’'

You don’t rush to define it for her.

You don’t label it.

‘’How does it feel?’’ you ask instead.

She hesitates.

Searching.

‘’…Heavy,’’ she says finally. ‘’Like everything I’ve ever done just… decided to show up at once.’'

There’s no flinch on your end.

No sharp intake of breath.

No judgment hiding behind silence.

‘’That sounds exhausting,’’ you murmur.

It’s so simple. So obvious.

And yet it lands harder than anything else has.

Natasha lets out a breath that trembles just slightly at the edges.

‘’…Yeah.’'

‘’You don’t have to sort through all of that tonight,’’ you add quietly. ‘’We can just sit with it. One piece at a time. Or none at all.’'

Another pause.

‘’You’re strange,’’ she says after a beat, voice softer, thoughtful rather than guarded.

There’s a small shift on your end again, like you’re settling into the moment with her.

‘’Yeah?’’ you reply lightly. ‘’I’ve been called worse.’'

A pause.

Then she adds, almost offhand, ‘’Phone girl.’'

It hangs there for a second.

And then—you laugh.

It slips out before you can stop it, warm and a little amused, not loud but full enough that it carries through the line and wraps around her.

‘’Phone girl?’’ you echo. ‘’That sounds like one of those numbers people call when they’re trying to have a very different kind of conversation.’'

For a split second there’s silence—

—and then Natasha laughs.

Not forced. Not controlled. It catches her off guard as much at is does you, low and real and a little breathless at the edges.

‘’Not what I meant,’’ she mutters, but there’s a faint smile in her voice now.

‘’Good,’’ you tease gently. ‘’Because I was about to say, I might need to redirect you to a different department.''

Another quiet laugh.

The sound of it lingers.

And you let it, before continuing.

‘’I mean… if you ever did want different kinds of conversations, I could probably give you a list of numbers—‘’

You start to ramble them off in a playful tone, deliberately a little over the top—

—and she cuts in.

‘’No.’'

It’s certain.

You pause.

‘’…No?’’ you repeat softly.

Natasha shifts in her seat, gaze dropping to her free hand resting in her lap.

‘’I just want to talk to you right now,’’ she says, quieter now. Honest in a way she didn’t plan.

There’s a small silence on your end.

And even without seeing you, she can feel the way you smile.

It’s in your voice when you answer.

‘’Okay,’’ you say gently. ‘’Then it’s only you and me.’'

Something in her chest eases again.

No transaction.

No passing her off.

No disappearing.

Jus—

‘’—but if you want phone sex, we have to figure out a price.’'

Natasha blinks, a soft rumble in her chest as she laughs loudly.

She closes her eyes and leans back, biting her lip as she hears your sweet laugh.

You’re blushing a little on the other line.

Silence fills again.

Natasha listens to your breathing.

You listen to hers.

‘’…There was a time,’’ she starts, voice quiet, like whispering to a mouse, ‘’when I thought I didn’t get to have… this. Talking. Just talking.’'

You don’t interrupt.

You don’t rush her.

‘’…It’s not just one thing,’’ she says, the words coming from a place she usually keeps locked up. ‘’It’s… all of it. All the time.’'

You let out a soft grounding hum to let her know you’re there and listening.

She exhales, long and slow.

‘’I was trained to be empty,’’ she continues. ‘’Efficient. Useful. They took everything that didn’t serve that and…’’ A small pause. ‘’Got rid of it.’'

Her fingers tighten slightly around the phone.

‘’For a while, I thought that meant I didn’t have anything left in me that could… break.’'

A beat.

‘’I was wrong.’'

The city continues to hum faintly in the distance, like Natasha didn’t just open up her heart to a complete stranger.

You let a moment pass before you ask, gently, ‘’When did it start feeling like too much?’'

Natasha leans her head back, staring up at the darkening sky.

‘’…It didn’t start,’’ she murmurs. ‘’It just… stopped being quiet.’'

She swallows.

‘’I can handle missions. Pain. I know what to do with those.’’ A faint, humorless breath. ‘’There are rules. Objectives. You finish it, you move on.’'

Another pause.

‘’But this?’’ she adds, scoffing while picking at the laces in her boots. ‘’There’s no off switch.’'

You hear the shift in her breathing—just enough to tell she’s holding back more than she’s saying.

‘’That does sound exhausting,’’ you say, voice low and steady. ‘’Having to carry something that never really lets you rest.’'

‘’…yeah.’'

The word barely makes it out of her.

But it’s there.

For a moment, neither of you speak.

Then, quietly, ‘’do you feel like you have to hold it all by yourself?’’ you ask.

It’s careful. Not assuming—just offering the space.

Natasha lets out a breath that almost shakes.

‘’I—I don’t know how not to,’’ she admits.

She bites her lip.

Hard enough to draw blood.

But she lets go just in time.

‘’I learned early,’’ she continues, voice distant now, like she’s watching memories instead of sitting in the present. ‘’If you rely on someone, that’s leverage. And leverage gets used.’'

Her jaw tightens.

‘’So you don’t rely on anyone,’’ you say softly, reflecting it back to her.

‘’Exactly.’'

Another pause.

‘’…But then it gets loud again,’’ she adds under her breath.

You don’t rush to fix it. You don’t tell her she’s wrong.

You just stay with her in it.

‘’What does it sound like?’’ you ask gently.

The question lingers in her phone.

Natasha closes her eyes.

‘’…Names,’’ she says after a while. ‘’Faces. Things I can’t undo.’’ Her voice dops lower. ‘’Things I was made to do before I even understood what they meant.’'

A slow inhale.

‘’And even after… I kept going… Different reasons. Same results,’'

You let out a breath, rubbing your eyes.

‘’That’s a lot for one person to carry.’'

She huffs out something that isn’t quite a laugh.

‘’I’m good at carrying things.’'

‘’I believe that,’’ you say. ‘’But that doesn’t mean you were meant to carry all of it on your own.’'

Silence.

Not empty—just heavy with everything she isn’t used to hearing.

‘’…You don’t even know what I’ve done,’’ she says.

‘’I don’t need to know every detail to hear how much it’s affecting you,’’ you reply gently. ‘’You’re allowed to feel the weight of it.’'

That lands.

She bites the inside of her cheek, turning onto her side, knees tucked to her chest.

Natasha holds the phone close to her ear like a child who’s reunited with their teddy bear.

‘’…There’s a ledger,’’ she says. ‘’In my head. Everything I owe.’'

A small, bitter edge slips into her voice.

‘’It doesn’t balance.’'

You take a slow breath on your end, letting your voice stay steady, present.

‘’Do you feel like you have to make it balance?’'

‘’Yeah.’'

An immediate and certain answer.

‘’Or else what?’’ you ask softly.

The question is quiet, but it opens something.

Natasha doesn’t answer right away.

When she does, her voice is smaller than it’s been all night.

‘’…Then what was the point of surviving it?’'

You let the words sink in, blinking slowly on the other side of the line.

You don’t rush to answer.

You stay.

‘’I’m really glad you’re here right now,’’ you say instead, gently. ‘’Talking. Staying.’'

A pause.

‘’Well, I’m really glad you answered.’'

Natasha swallows, gaze fixed on the bandages wrapping her arms.

‘’…Me too,’’ you admit.

The line stays quiet for a moment after that.

Natasha made a slight groan from the other side.

Your brows perked up.

‘’...I have to go,’’ she whispered. 

Her tone had shifted.

Like the words didn’t really want to escape her.

You can hear her chest rising and falling. Slow. Tired. Human.

‘’I- uh… I have to get ready for this thing.’'

Her words are clipped, careful, but soft.

You don’t ask for details.

You don’t need to.

You just let her speak at her own pace.

Then, quieter still, almost afraid she’ll lose it if she says it out loud:

‘’…What’s your name?’'

You stop whatever you’re doing and smile.

‘’Y/n…’’ it’s soft, very soft. As if you just said ‘yes’ to marrying her.

‘’…I’ll remember that,’’ she breathes, almost like she’s tucking it into herself.

The line gums in the silence that follows, weighted, warm, alive in the way only voices on the other end of a line can be.

Before you can ask hers, she hangs up.

Click.

And she’s gone.

But even in absence, she lingers. In the memory of her slow breaths, the quiet exhale, the careful way she let herself speak.

You sit back for a long moment, letting the silence settle around you, thinking—just thinking— how a single voice can stay inside someone long after it disappears.

Somewhere, you hope she’s thinking the same.