I'm The One That Took Your Rug

david rossi man. he's like 60 and plays video games. he fought in the vietnam war. he experimented with bdsm in high school. he had three failed marriages. his coworkers bullied him into teaching them how to make spaghetti and sing karaoke. his daughter stalked him for a week before coming clean and revealing he also had a grandkid. he made his coworker who got shot in the leg climb down a ditch because he had new boots. he has to visit a serial killer on his birthday every year. he didn't get poison ivy because he's "italian, it knows better". he arrested serial killers, retired, wrote books about it and became rich, then unretired to keep arresting serial killers. he goes fishing. he definitely had a thing with gideon back in the day. he coaches his coworker's son's soccer team. he lives in a mansion. he's done acid. truly the character of all time