is it raining where you are?

It’s been 15 weeks since we should have sat with you to celebrate your birthday. As you weren’t here, I fought for your presence with us instead of yet another meal at any other restaurant that we were used to going to without you. For the first time, I was sat in the centre of the table, not off to the side where it would usually be just you and I, but I felt lonelier than I ever have. Every meal out, we would sit on the end of the table together talking, eating, giggling, or in silence just enjoying each other’s company whilst everybody else spoke about work and life. We would be alone together every time, but that silence is no longer comfortable nor peaceful as it was.

It’s been 35 weeks since I last received your evening call. You would ask me how my studies are going, what I’m having for tea, how work is, how my friends are, what I’ve been up to, how the cat is, when I’m next up home, when my next event is. Those catch-up calls had plenty of quiet moments in between the chatting, which was peace knowing we were connected to each other and were with each other for that short time. You would call me so late because you knew that my working day was long and sporadic, and I would be afraid to call each time in case you were in bed, but you always made sure to call.