A blog for when I'm sad.

You need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you but you need people to care about you for you to get better but you need to get better for people to care about you

Sometimes getting better looks like going from breaking every few days to breaking out every few weeks. People will try to say you're not improving at all, they'll minimise your progress and act like perfection is the only standard for improvement. Don't believe them. Incremental progress is still progress and it's a far more achievable goal than absolute perfection. Maybe it takes you over a year of hard work to extend the time between breakdowns by a week or two (this was the case for me), maybe people still cut you off (also me), maybe you still have trouble controlling your emotions (me, again), but progress isn't based on an absolute or instantaneous scale. If you've been doing better over the past few months than you were a year or two ago then you are improving. You can have relapses and troughs and plateaus, and if you keep trying to move forwards, that's still progress. People will try to take that away from you, but they can't, as long as you don't let them.

Ich bin müde vom Leben.

Det gjør fire vennegjenger i to år.

Just when I was doing better. Just when I thought there was *some* chance of normalcy. Everyone fucking abandons me. All of them. Every single one.

I break everything I touch.

There's so much fucking pressure in my head. I want to fucking rip myself apart.

You are my soul. When you leave I am empty.

Gibt es irgendwas schöner als rotes Blut auf blasser Haut?

Ich habe so oft für dich meine Tränen und mein Blut vergossen, aber dir war's immer egal.