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Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

at a party

“Woah, someone drank too much egg nog.”

“Look, I only came for the Christmas cookies.”

“So do I make a sexy Santa/elf/reindeer or what?”

“Merry Christmas! Let’s get wasted.”

“Is my outfit too festive/not festive enough?”

“Hey! Come on in, I’ll get you a drink.”

a grinch

“I can’t believe I’m all alone during the holidays.”

“Most wonderful time of the year, my ass.”

“I hate snow. And smiling children.”

“If I hear one more Christmas song, someone is getting strangled with tinsel.”

“The only thing good about Christmas is the candy canes.”

“Wow, that gingerbread house is…unique.”

“Egg nog is disgusting.”

anti-grinch

“I’ve had my tree up since November.”

“How could you not like the holidays?!”

“I’m going to shove a candy cane up my ass. I’m so excited!”

“Christmas is the only time of year when I’m stressed out AND receiving a bunch of gifts.”

“There’s NO way I’m going to lose the house decorating competition.”

“Christmas isn’t a holiday. It’s a way of life.”

presents

“What did you get me?” / “I’m not telling you! It’s a surprise.”

“I didn’t know what to buy you, so..I made you something…”

“You gave me the present that I gave to YOU last year?”

“It’s perfect…”

“Aw, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“The only gift I want is stability and happiness. But this wrapping paper is pretty.”

“You just rip the paper right off?! You heathen.” / “You save the paper? Nerd.”

secret santa

“Ugh, I can’t believe I got ___ for secret santa.”

“I got ____!! What should I give him/her/them?”

“Who bought me socks? They’re plain white no-brand socks.”

“The limit was $20, people. Why do I see an iPhone?”

“I know who got me this. There’s only one person who knows me this well. It’s you.”

with friends

“I got us matching ugly sweaters.”

“Do you think I can fit these candy canes up my nose?”

“Merry Christmas, fuckers. I’m broke but at least I got you stuff.”

“This is really corny…but you’re already a gift to me.”

“I haven’t seen you in so long! Get over here and give me a hug.”

flirty

“Are you Santa? Because I’d sit on your lap.”

“Have I been naughty this year?”

“Oh, I’d ride in your sleigh.”

“Your eyes twinkle like tree lights.”

“All I want for Christmas is you.”

snow

“It’s snowing! That’s so perfect!”

“Great, now my flight is delayed…”

“How am I supposed to get home in this weather?”

“Baby, it’s cold outside…”

“Let’s have a snowball fight.”

no snow

“Why can’t we have a white Christmas?”

“It’s too hot for hot cocoa.”

“I wish I could wear a sweater without dying.”

“It’s nice to get away from all the cold.”

“The only ice I want to see is in a cold drink.”

knows nothing about other holidays

“So is it Jesus’s birthday?”

“Where did Santa even come from?”

“…Isn’t the tree a pagan tradition?”

“How do the deer fly?”

“This holiday sounds like it was made by someone on crack.”

“What’s a Hannukah?” / “What’s a Kwanzaa?”

“Is what I’m wearing okay?”

“Stop calling me a grinch! I’m not even Christian.”

hannukah

“Watch me shove all these latkes in my mouth.”

“You don’t know how to play with a dreidel?” / “Let me teach you the dreidel game.”

“See the menorah? It’s LIT.”

“Try the sufganiyot and you will forget about Christmas cookies.”

“Hannukah is the time of year when us Jews gather and decide the next step in taking over the world. At least that’s what that crazy guy from work told me.”

“Do these dreidel cake pops look Pinterest-y enough?”

“Christians get WAY too upset over Starbucks cups. I’ve never gotten a Hannukah Starbucks cup! You don’t see me rioting about it.”

“That’s not a dreidel…That’s a beyblade.”

kwanzaa

“Who needs one day of Christmas when I have a whole week of Kwanzaa?”

“See the kinara? It’s LIT.”

“I can’t go home until I buy a new kinara.”

“What do you think of the decorations? I think I need more African print.”

“How are we out of food? Kwanzaa is about the harvest!”

“I like Kwanzaa. It’s a holiday of principles.”

“It’s not a ‘made-up’ holiday. All holidays are made up.”

“Kinda wish the unity cup was filled with whiskey. And that I could drink all of it.”

misc.

“No matter the holiday, family time is always a bad idea.”

“This isn’t Pinterest-y enough!”

“Come on, let’s take a quick selfie. We never see each other.”

🌀 Sentence starters meant to be used as roleplay prompts .  This is from Netflix’s Wednesday, episodes 1-3.  Please feel free to change pronouns and words as needed and follow for part 2!

emotion equals weakness, pull yourself together.

i’ve recently been plagued by visions.

the only person who gets to torture my brother is me.

i never had a problem with outcasts - my counselor at summer camp was a werewolf.

i find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.

you’re soft and weak. you’ll never survive without me. i give you two months, tops.

any plans you have of running away end right now.

you’re brilliant, but sometimes you get in your own way.

 will never fall in love or be a housewife or have a famly.

when i look at you, the following emojis come to mind: rope, shovel, hole.

maybe if you whined less and practiced more, you wouldn’t suck.

let’s see if you bleed in black and white.

at least i’ll have an imaginative death.

i would have rather saved myself.

someone who crochets for a hobby isn’t a worthy adversary.

i hope we can forge a bond based on trust and mutual respect.

i see the world as a place that must be endured.

do you make a habit of scaring the hell out of people?

there’s just something wrong about this place.

tears don’t fix anything so i vowed never to cry again.

your secret’s safe with me. i still think you’re weird as shit though.

are you still willing to help me escape?

i wish i was going with you. at least one of us will get out of this hellhole town.

you should know i’m waiting on someone.

i don’t have time to explain. but you’re in danger.

this story’s about to take a dark turn. usually i love dark turns.

dead people are notoriously bad at returning calls.

you want to reject my claims, but you can’t.

believe nothing you hear, and half of what you see.

why should i bother telling you anything? you’ve already decided i’m lying.

i refuse to play the role of a pawn in someone else’s corrupt game.

i am not submitting to your emotional blackmail.

breathe a word of this to anyone and i will end you.

to tell you the truth, i’ve never really fit in anywhere.

the most interesting plants grow in the shade.

i’m not the girl of your dreams, i’m the stuff of your nightmares.

i don’t believe that i’m better than everyone else, just that i’m better than you.

luckily, i’m not afraid of the dark.

it’s amateurs like you who give kidnapping a bad name.

remember what happened last time we did this dance?

secrets are like zombies, they never truly die.

i have a strange feeling the answers to my future lie in the past.

who i speak to is my business.

you’re really becoming obsessed with this monster in the woods thing.

there will be no escape for you.

do you have a death wish or something?

are you mansplaining my power?

i don’t believe in heaven or hell but i do believe in revenge.

those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

one coincidence is just a coincidence, two are a clue, and three are proof.

the truth is, there are monsters everywhere.

Martha May Whovier. She had really grown up and her appearance got far better. NO. He fought the smile on his face and rosy cheeks. the man stood there, forcing that tear back inside as he awkwardly patted Martha’s pack, “ you know I’m the Grinch right? I’m a monster.” He gave a haphazard act but his spirit just was not into it. How had she seen through his disguise?

Martha May Whovier. She had really grown up and her appearance got far better. NO. He fought the smile on his face and rosy cheeks. the man stood there, forcing that tear back inside as he awkwardly patted Martha’s pack, “ you know I’m the Grinch right? I’m a monster.” He gave a haphazard act but his spirit just was not into it. How had she seen through his disguise?