Hello Friend.

But, er, consider this fun little concept:

Arthur has been sheltered by his father all his life. And Uther made sure that some things just never got through to Arthur. Like knowledge on magic.

So, imagine Arthur doesn't know what the word gay means.

Merlin comes to town, challenges Arthur and Arthur overhears some of his knights say: wow, that peasant. have you seen how he talked to the prince? So GAY.

Arthur is like: what? what's that word? he probably means brave. That peasant WAS very brave. That's what that word MUST mean. Yes. That's it. new slang word. i understand it.

so, Arthur has a galaxy brain moment and thinks he can use it all the time now.

---------------

Merlin steals a dress from Morgana.

Arthur tells a random night.

Arthur: that's SO gay, right?

the knight: *surprised that Arthur knows the word* oh a, yes my lord. It sure sounds that way.

Arthur: *relieved that he apparently understood the word correctly*

----------------

A knight outs a commoner to humiliate him.

the knight: look at this man *points sword at him but looks at arthur* he is gay! he has to be punished for it

Arthur: what do you mean, you want to kill him for being gay? why?

knight: because it's wrong my lord?!

Arthur: are you living under a ROCK? You're a KNIGHT for gods sake. All my knights should be gay.

knight: O.o wut

Arthur: in fact, the gayer you are, the better! Haven't you proven your gayness to become a knight?

knight: *stutters scandalized* no, my lord. I'm NOT gay!

Arthur: then your knighthood shall be removed. i can't have knights who aren't gay.

knight: *mouth drops open. helplessly turns to the other knights who are stiffling their laughter*

Gwaine: you heard the man.

knight: Sire, are YOU gay?

Arthur: i would like to think myself one of the gayest knights camelot has ever seen.

town people:........ (ꏿ﹏ꏿ;)

Lancelot: and i thought Merlin was -

Arthur: oh yes. Merlin is THE gayest man I've ever met. He has proven it to me many times.

Lancelot: (@_@)

Gwaine: this is the best day of my life

----------------

Arthur at Merlin: Merlin, I just wanted to tell you, you are the gayest man i've ever met

Merlin: *blinks* erm....

Arthur: you okay?

Merlin: you don't sound angry or anything, are you okay?

Arthur: why would i be angry? i am PROUD of you.

Merlin: oh O///O thank you, my lord. i didn't think you'd accept me for that.

Arthur: why wouldn't I? Being gay is the best quality a man can possess.

Merlin:....... are you drunk?

Arthur: no?

Merlin: Are YOU gay?

Arthur: i'd like to think so, yes.

Merlin: ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

--------------------

Arthur at Morgana: i'm starting to think gay does not mean what i think it means.

Morgana: *sputters*: what?

Arthur: gay means brave, right?

Morgana: *eyes wide* erm...... *thinking: omg that explains so much*

of course it does, Arthur

Arthur: oh, thank god. I think you are very gay too, Morgana

Morgana: *laughing* i mean, you're not wrong

Arthur: Gwen is too!

Morgana: THAT I can confirm

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), (but in the background) Characters: Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin), Gwen (Merlin), Gaius (Merlin), Hunith (Merlin) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Merthur - Freeform, Pining, Slow Burn, Idiots in Love, Arthur finds himself, healer Merlin, Merlin’s Magic Revealed (Merlin), this is set somewhere after season four??? middle of five? i have really no idea, Gwen and Arthur are married, merlin left, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, hunith is the mother we all need, Slash, Friends to Lovers, no beta we die like men, physician Merlin, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Canon Era, Ealdor, someone get poor Merlin a cup of tea, Rating will change, we gotta let the plot advance before it gets spicy

Summary:

Two years after Merlin had left with only a goodbye letter as evidence of their bond, Arthur is still crumbling. When Gwen proposes a break from being King, he takes it, to everyone’s surprise. When he later shows up at Merlin’s doorstep unannounced, he is unaware of the secrets that will be revealed, the old wounds that will split open, and the tenderness he’ll learn to give and receive.

Dolly Parton and her husband were at a bank and the teller was a red-haired girl named Jolene who seemed to be a little flirty with her husband. They both found it quite funny and it became an inside joke in their marriage. Like Dolly’s husband would be like ‘thats it im leaving you and running away with jolene from the bank’ and stuff like that

What is dat *aggressively scuttles* 

“I won’t be available.”

Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.

If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:

Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.

Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.

Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.

The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.

If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else. 

But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.

“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”

“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)

“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”

“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”

-If you are not financially independent.

-If you are mentally ill without consistent means of treatment

-If you cannot afford doctor’s bills

-If the thought of having a gay, trans, or nonbinary child makes you upset.

-If the cant accept having to care for a child with a disability or special needs.

-If the thought of having a fat child makes you upset.

-If you have a bad/short temper

-If you’re in an abusive relationship

-If you’re not ready to put someone else’s needs first, EVERY SINGLE DAY, for 18 years.

-If you have an ideal of what this person is going to be like and anything other than that image makes you upset. 

-If you need to have a quiet and tidy home at all times.

-If you need to control all aspects of their life even into adulthood.

-if you believe they owe you unconditional, unquestionable respect regardless of your own behavior. 

-If you don’t believe they have the right to privacy in their own home.

-If you’re unwilling to change your lifestyle to accommodate the demands of parenthood.

-If you do not believe ALL humans of every race, gender, sexuality, religion, and career deserve the same rights and respect. 

Look. Your baby could be fat. Your “son” could actually be your daughter; or both or neither. They could be a lawyer or a porn star. You could have a boy who loves makeup and grows up to be an athiest that brings home an alaskan lumberjack named Boris and the two make a living doing gay camshows . You could have a daughter with blue hair, pierced tits, who is a YouTube rapping sensation called Krispee Kareem and marries a black man and wants 8 kids with him

YOU NEVER KNOW

But what I DO know is that parenthood isnt Build-a-Baby; you get what you fuckin’ get and if you’re not prepared to love and support the shit outta that baby; WHOEVER they grow up to be–