"Private Rituals" by Dorothy Allison (High Risk)
There are two facts of sexuality
People get sexual feelings much earlier than anyone would like to admit. Forget about puberty, there's definitely a great deal of obsession and curiosity during childhood.
We need to protect children and teenagers from predators who can groom and molest them.
The second one is pretty easy to accept. At least in our society. In other cultures, there was a lot of pederasty and open lusting after children. Or at very least teenagers. I know that when I was 11, I was very horny for my neighbor that I babysat for. Had she decided to be creepy and fucked me, I would not have had a problem with that. In fact I even wrote "I want to fuck Patty" on a slip of paper. Sadly my mom found it and wouldn't let me forget it (seriously, that woman had NO respect for boundaries. Minor miracle she didn't call out what I was doing when I locked the bathroom).
Either way, it's a good thing that Patty never fucked me. That would have been a power imbalance that I don't think I could have recovered from.
But there's a serious undercurrent running through our society. One that we clamp down. One that we don't like to talk about. Predators and molesters know it and they exploit it. They even use our disgust with it as a cover. Oh sure, we might all agree that it's horrible and even talk about wanting to castrate pedophiles. And that makes it even harder to spot them.
Oh no, obviously those pedophiles are out in the world creeping on children, but not Jimmy. Jimmy would NEVER do that. Jimmy loves kids. Oh sure, Jimmy keeps making all these jokes about it, but that's just Jimmy having fun.
Years pass and suddenly we find out that Jimmy has been raping kids for decades and he died peacefully in his sleep. And no one cares.
Then there's where we go to the opposite extreme. I'm not terribly excited with the ways that we made Anne Frank into a secular saint, the cute little Jewish teenager who said that everyone was good at heart and tacitly forgave everyone who murdered her. That's definitely not her diary. She hated Germans. She hated living in that fucking attic and she only wanted to believe people were good at heart because the alternative was to fucking hate the entire world. She even says that.
She also says that she gets excited looking at naked women. So yes, Anne Frank was bisexual. She was 15 when she died and in her early teen years when she wrote about being horny for women, but she could make up her own fucking mind about it. Screaming "DON'T SEXUALIZE CHILDREN" at LGBT people who can relate to Anne in her teen years might make you feel good. Might even make the whole "Anne Frank was bisexual" conversation avoid you for a time.
But it's fucking dishonest. Granted, some of those people screaming that are Ace and have no experience feeling horny for anyone in their teen years, but those of us who also got horny for naked women in our teen years find it a little weird that there's a contingent of people who want to pretend that sexuality begins at age 18 (maybe 16) and before then it's nothing and suggesting anything else is child molestation.
There's a major spectrum between Piers Anthony/Countdown to 18 creeps and policing anyone for admitting to sexual thoughts before their 16th birthday.
So that's a really long introduction for a creepy ass story that Dorothy Allison begins by talking about how her sister and her were both masturbating when they were 8. Like she figured out that her sister was masturbating (and wearing their mother's underwear like a hat when she did it) and then wondered if her sister openly did it when alone.
Then there's her stepfather who keeps spanking her, because he gets off on it. She knows that he gets off on it. Eventually he starts fucking her. She reports this without tears, just like it's one of the fucked up sexual things that happened to her. She depicts her childhood as a series of orgasms and creepy dudes who want to have orgasms on her.
Her uncle also dry humps her. Also she finally tells someone about her stepfather and her uncles beat him up. Only that doesn't really help. Her mother just goes back to him and that's that.
This is a brilliantly written piece that squicked me out. When I was a child, I read Piers Anthony and didn't see much of a problem with his pedophile writings because I was young myself. Lusting after a 14 year old girl doesn't seem wrong when you are a 13 year old boy. When you're an adult man, it feels very creepy.
I might read Dorothy Allison's book. I hear it's good but also I hope it doesn't have horny 8 year old girls in it. I really don't want to read about horny 8 year old girls.
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